The most annoying fruit in the kitchen.

廚房裡最令人討厭的水果。

A toast.

敬酒。

Didn't agree to this.

沒有同意這一點。

Hey, thanks you guys, I try merry christmas, everyone you hear that.

嘿，謝謝你們，我嘗試了聖誕快樂，大家都聽到了。

You know what they say?

你知道他們怎麼說嗎？

That's right, wait, wait, wait, wait.

這是正確的，等待，等待，等待，等待。

I thought it was, gets its wings every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings.

我以為是，每當鐘聲響起，天使就會得到它的翅膀。

Oh no, that sounds awfully pleasant by comparison.

哦，不，相比之下，這聽起來非常令人愉快。

But come here you should see this.

但來到這裡，你應該看看這個。

Hey, an angel food cake.

嘿，一個天使食品蛋糕。

Oh my God, Yeah, you do not want to be an angel food cake around Christmas time.

哦，我的上帝，是的，你不希望在聖誕節前後成為一個天使食品蛋糕。

It's a bloodbath out there, I'll buckle up because the clock tower is about to strike 12.

外面是一場血戰，我會繫好安全帶，因為鐘樓即將敲響12點。

Ah, I don't understand why this is happening.

啊，我不明白為什麼會發生這種情況。

Why are the knives summoned by bells?

為什麼刀子會被鈴鐺召喚？

Excuse me coming through folks, would you knock that off?

請原諒我的到來，你們能不能把它關掉？

Hey, bicyclists have a right to the road to you.

嘿，騎自行車的人有權利在路上對你。

Carbon spewing earth murderer.

噴碳的地球殺手。

Shut up granola.

閉嘴吧格蘭諾拉。

Well, merry christmas to you too guys, we need to stop these bells from ringing.

好吧，也祝你們聖誕快樂，我們需要阻止這些鐘聲的響起。

Hey, did I hear someone call for bell delivery?

嘿，我是不是聽到有人叫送鈴？

No, we want to get rid of the bells.

不，我們想擺脫鐘聲。

So just to be clear, you do not want this crate full of 1000 bells.

所以我想說的是，你不想要這個裝滿1000個鈴鐺的箱子。

No.

沒有。

Alrighty then let me just take this back to the old Herbie, whoa, whoopsie!

好吧，那麼讓我把這個問題帶回老赫比，哇，嗚嗚嗚!

Okay, enough with the bells?

好了，鈴鐺聲夠了吧？

Innocent angel food cakes are getting maimed out there left and right.

無辜的天使食品蛋糕在外面越來越多地被殘害。

Well that's terrible.

嗯，這很糟糕。

And on christmas seems like we could use a little holiday cheer.

而在聖誕節，似乎我們可以使用一點節日的歡樂。

Yeah, you know what, not a bad idea.

是的，你知道嗎，這不是一個壞主意。

Orange, you're right, It's christmas and I should be looking at what's right in the world instead of focusing on everything.

橙子，你是對的，現在是聖誕節，我應該看看世界上有什麼是對的，而不是關注一切。

That's wrong.

這是不對的。

Glad to hear it.

很高興聽到這個消息。

And in the spirit of christmas, the kitchen's third grade class has prepared a program.

在聖誕節的精神下，廚房的三年級班級準備了一個節目。

I think you'll all enjoy it, wow, come on, pear, get in the christmas spirit.

我想你們都會喜歡的，哇，來吧，梨子，融入聖誕精神吧。

How could you expect me to do that when angel food cake crumbs are literally obscuring the window glass.

你怎麼能指望我這樣做，當天使食品蛋糕的碎屑簡直遮住了窗戶玻璃。

That reminds me it's time to open a present.

這提醒了我，是時候打開一個禮物了。

Which one to go with?

用哪一個？

Long one?

長的？

I think I'm gonna go with the one that looks like a gigantic bell.

我想我要選那個看起來像個巨大的鈴鐺的。

Just kidding.

只是在開玩笑。

I'm gonna go with this huge one over here.

我打算用這裡的這個巨大的。

Thank goodness.

謝天謝地。

What'd you get?

你得到了什麼？

That's a great full of 1000 bells.

那是一個偉大的充滿了1000個鐘聲。

What?

什麼？

It's just what I wanted.

這正是我想要的。

Thanks guys, this will give me an excuse to use my new cork lift that.

謝謝你們，這將給我一個藉口來使用我的新軟木電梯。

I'm really bad at driving at christmas time, bobby bell.

我在聖誕節期間的駕駛能力真的很差，鮑比-貝爾。

Yeah, you're right pear christmas, carols are harder to write than I thought.

是的，你是對的，聖誕梨，頌歌比我想象的要難寫。

Ah this is huge.

啊，這是巨大的。

I just found out where our parents stashed all of our christmas presents.

我剛剛發現我們的父母把我們所有的聖誕禮物都藏在了哪裡。

You mean we can look at them before christmas morning.

你的意思是我們可以在聖誕節早上之前看一下它們。

Oh, I don't know, this feels wrong somehow.

哦，我不知道，這感覺不對，不知為什麼。

What a little party pooper I'm in.

我是一個多麼小的黨員啊。

Let's do this little apple.

讓我們來做這個小蘋果。

Are you sure you want to do that?

你確定你想這樣做嗎？

Who's the conehead me?

誰是錐子頭的我？

Why I'm the elf on the shelf, I sit up here observing you throughout the holiday season, then I report back to santa, whether you been naughty or nice, That's pretty cool, I guess a little bit creepy.

為什麼我是架子上的精靈，我坐在這裡觀察你的整個假期，然後我向聖誕老人報告，無論你是調皮還是善良，這很酷，我想有點令人毛骨悚然。

I get that a lot.

我經常遇到這種情況。

Usually when I do this, That two guys look at me, look at me.

通常當我這樣做時，那兩個人看著我，看著我。

So basically you're telling us that if we sneak a peek at our parents christmas gift for us, then santa won't bring us anything pretty much.

所以基本上你是在告訴我們，如果我們偷看了父母給我們的聖誕禮物，那麼聖誕老人就不會給我們帶來任何東西。

So basically what I'm hearing is we're under surveillance luke calm down.

所以基本上我聽到的是我們被監視了，盧克平靜下來。

That's what they want us to do.

這就是他們希望我們做的事情。

Wake up people.

人們醒醒吧。

The man has us right where he wants us in his Orwellian technological corral.

這個人把我們帶到了他想要的地方，在他的奧威爾式技術畜欄裡。

I assure you.

我向你保證。

I've never met this man you speak of?

我從未見過你所說的這個人？

I simply report directly back to santa about your behavior and I thank you for your vigilant around the clock supervision Mussolini attention kitchen, clear your mind of all thought crimes.

我只是直接向聖誕老人彙報你的行為，我感謝你全天候警惕地監督墨索里尼注意廚房，清除你頭腦中的所有思想犯罪。

The kool aid line starts here fall in sheep.

酷愛線從這裡開始落在羊身上。

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

哦，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇。

Why wasn't I told about this line.

為什麼沒有人告訴我這條線路。

Get out of here while you can you fool.

趁早離開這裡吧，你這個傻瓜。

Oh yeah.

哦，是的。

Put your tinfoil hat back on and go back to your tent.

把你的錫紙帽子戴上，回到你的帳篷裡去。

We'll handle this.

我們會處理這個問題。

Barack.

巴拉克。

Obama's body double is currently serving as president.

奧巴馬的替身目前正擔任總統。

We know we know.

我們知道我們知道。

Okay then bye bye.

好吧，那麼再見了。

Now gee will occurs.

現在，吉會發生。

That was one nutty tick wow.

那是一個瘋狂的蝨子哇。

He did kind of have a point.

他確實有點道理。

What do you mean?

你是什麼意思？

I'm just an innocent cheerful doll for Children on a holiday tradition.

我只是一個無辜的歡快的娃娃，為孩子們在節日的傳統。

I don't mean anyone harm.

我沒有傷害任何人的意思。

Yeah, but when you really think about it.

是的，但當你真的想一想。

You are kind of well, spying on us, Aren't you?

你是在監視我們，對嗎？

Excuse me?

你說什麼？

You're observing us at all times and reporting back to an authority about our actions.

你一直在觀察我們，並向一個權威機構報告我們的行動。

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

我無法相信我所聽到的。

With my adorable little elf ears.

帶著我可愛的小精靈的耳朵。

Santa is definitely going to be hearing about this.

聖誕老人肯定會聽說這件事。

What a tattletale!

真是個愛吹牛的人!

I'm not a tattletale.

我不是一個絮絮叨叨的人。

You're the tattletale grapefruit.

你就是那個絮絮叨叨的柚子。

No, no, I saw what you did yesterday at 3:26 p.m. At 3 26 PM.

不，不，我看到了你昨天下午3點26分所做的事，在下午3點26分。

Yesterday I was using the bathroom, rise up brethren.

昨天我在上廁所，起來吧，弟兄們。

Reclaim this world for the proletarian.

為無產者奪回這個世界。

What?

什麼？

Where did you all get pitchforks?

你們都是在哪裡得到乾草叉的？

Get out of here, Elf on the shelf, Snitches, get pitches Okay, Okay, I'm going, but don't expect any presents from santa come christmas morning sure quads.

離開這裡，架子上的精靈，告密者，得到坑 好吧，好吧，我走了，但不要指望聖誕節早上從聖誕老人那裡得到任何禮物，肯定是四肢。

I'm telling him everything.

我把一切都告訴他。

You hear me everything and I'm gonna make sure he knows that each and every one of you hasn't merely been naughty this year.

你們什麼都聽我的，我要確保他知道你們每一個人今年不僅僅是調皮了。

You've all been downright garbage.

你們都是徹頭徹尾的垃圾。

Yeah.

是的。

You've all been absolute garbage.

你們都是絕對的垃圾。

No garbage.

沒有垃圾。

Why are there turning diapers in here?

為什麼這裡會有轉動的尿布？

Oh, that's my bed.

哦，那是我的床。

Long story.

說來話長。

Wanna dance marathon though.

雖然想跳馬拉松。

Oh well at least it looks like everything's back to normal in the kitchen.

哦，至少看起來廚房裡的一切都恢復正常了。

My work here is done.

我在這裡的工作已經完成。

If anyone needs me, I'll be digging a bomb shelter for my bomb shelter.

如果有人需要我，我將為我的防空洞挖一個防空洞。

Hello Kitchen friends.

廚房的朋友們，你們好。

I'm mistletoe.

我是槲寄生。

If you ever find yourself standing beneath me, you have to kiss someone just a fun little holiday tradition.

如果你發現自己站在我身下，你必須親吻某人，只是一個有趣的小節日傳統。

So basically what I'm hearing is institutional behavior, control what?

所以基本上我聽到的是機構行為，控制什麼？

Wake up people true lovers ho ho hope you're ready for a downright fantastic episode of story time, not so fast.

醒來的人真正的情人嗬嗬希望你準備好了一個徹頭徹尾的故事時間的情節，沒有那麼快。

Orange, we'll be reading a christmas carol but santa isn't in it.

橙子，我們要讀一首聖誕頌歌，但聖誕老人不在裡面。

Talk about a christmas story without any santa.

談論一個沒有任何聖誕老人的聖誕故事。

That's like an animal story without any up dog.

這就像一個沒有任何狗的動物故事。

What's up dog?

怎麼了，狗？

Not much.

不多。

What's up with you dog?

你的狗怎麼了？

Well, I may not know what today's story is about, but I do know this, it needs more santa and explosions and up dog, it most certainly does not need those things Charles dickens, a christmas carol is a classic.

好吧，我可能不知道今天的故事是關於什麼的，但我知道這一點，它需要更多的聖誕老人、爆炸和狗，它肯定不需要這些東西，查爾斯-迪肯斯，《聖誕頌歌》是一部經典。

Now sit back and listen up all right, I'll listen up dog Orange, what what did I say to get your blood pressure up dog once there was an old miser named Ebenezer scrooge, he was super greedy and had no christmas spirit, but not for long.

現在坐下來，聽好了，我聽好了，狗橙子，我說什麼了，讓你的血壓升高了，狗曾經有一個老守財奴，名叫埃比尼澤-守財奴，他超級貪婪，沒有聖誕精神，但沒過多久。

Little did Ebenezer know he was about to be visited by three christmas spirits.

埃比尼澤不知道他將會被三個聖誕精靈拜訪。

That's right that night.

沒錯，就是那天晚上。

Ebenezer was visited by three ghosts, Casper Beetlejuice and the Snapchat ghost.

埃比尼澤被三個鬼魂拜訪，卡斯帕-貝特宙斯和Snapchat鬼魂。

No, Yeah, I know, I know they were the ghost of christmas presents.

不，是的，我知道，我知道他們是聖誕禮物的幽靈。

Present, the ghost of christmas blast past and the ghost of christmas up dog, good grief.

目前，聖誕節的幽靈爆炸過去和聖誕節的幽靈起來的狗，好悲傷。

The story just got terrible.

故事剛剛變得糟糕。

The story is way better with up dog.

有了狗，這個故事就好辦多了。

Want to know why why?

想知道為什麼嗎？

Because up dog knows what's up dog and also up dog break dances and and sometimes both at the same time.

因為向上的狗知道什麼是向上的狗，也知道向上的狗在跳霹靂舞，而且有時兩者同時進行。

Orange do not say it.

橙子不說了。

See, I told you the story was way better this way It is not better this way, it makes no sense.

你看，我告訴過你，這個故事用這種方式會更好。

Duh, that's why it's better.

咄，這就是為什麼它更好。

So back back ebenezer that night.

所以那天晚上回到了埃比尼澤。

What?

什麼？

But let's get to that later, shall we?

但讓我們稍後再談這個問題，好嗎？

Let's not, can we please get back to the real story now?

讓我們不要，我們現在能不能回到真正的故事上來？

Sure thing.

當然了。

The real story is how so many ghosts were appearing in Ebony's bedroom.

真正的故事是這麼多鬼魂是如何出現在埃博尼的臥室裡的。

Big ghosts, I said no Snapchat ghosts, Easy there, pear, no need to be so spirited any who sees soon Ebeneezer room was filled with ghosts.

大鬼，我說的是沒有Snapchat的鬼，Easy there, pear, no need to be so spirited any who sees soon Ebeneezer room was filled with ghosts.

He called in ghost hunters know they were looking around, everything was in night vision and they couldn't find anything until until what you didn't like this story.

他叫來了獵鬼者知道他們在四處尋找，一切都在夜視中，他們什麼都找不到，直到你不喜歡這個故事。

I don't admit it.

我不承認。

You want to know what they found, nope pair.

你想知道他們發現了什麼，不對。

Fine.

很好。

What did they find?

他們發現了什麼？

Well, what they found was huh?

那麼，他們發現的是什麼呢？

What's up man?

怎麼了，夥計？

Not much.

不多。

What's up with you man?

你是怎麼了？

Just kidding.

只是在開玩笑。

And he had way better night vision goggles.

而且他有更好的夜視鏡。

So he made short work carol carol.

所以他做了簡短的工作carol carol。

Who the heck is carol?

卡羅爾到底是誰？

One of the ghost hunters?

其中一個捉鬼的人？

That's why it's called a christmas carol duh, Okay, I think we're about done with this story.

這就是為什麼它被稱為聖誕頌歌的原因，好了，我想我們已經完成了這個故事。

Well, not quite, don't you want to know what the ghost of christmas presents brought everybody?

嗯，不完全是，難道你不想知道聖誕禮物的幽靈給大家帶來了什麼嗎？

Not if it blows up the ghost of christmas fire and it blew up the ghost of christmas blast and we're done here.

如果它炸燬了聖誕鬼火，就不會了，它炸燬了聖誕鬼火，我們就在這裡結束了。