They’ll say that you don’t have enough time for romance and you should focus solely

他們會說你沒有足夠的時間談戀愛，你應該只關注

on your studies.

在你的學習上。

But I disagree with this.

但我不同意這個觀點。

Here’s why.

原因就在這裡。

Dr. Jubbal, MedSchoolInsiders.com.

Jubbal博士，MedSchoolInsiders.com。

Although medical school is incredibly demanding, to say that it’s impossible to have a healthy

雖然醫學院的要求非常高，但如果說不可能有一個健康的生活方式，那是不可能的。

relationship during this time is simply untrue.

在這段時間內的關係是完全不真實的。

Many students are able to start and maintain healthy relationships during their medical

許多學生在就醫期間能夠開始並維持健康的關係。

training and some end up getting engaged, married, or even have children during medical

培訓，有些人最終在醫療期間訂婚、結婚，甚至生孩子。

school.

學校。

That being said, to say that maintaining relationships during your medical training is easy would

話雖如此，如果說在醫學培訓期間維持關係是件容易的事，那就是

be foolish*.* You will be challenged physically, intellectually, and emotionally on a daily

你每天都會在身體上、智力上和情感上受到挑戰。

basis.

基礎。

You will also be pushed to the limits of your productivity and time management.

你也將被推到你的生產力和時間管理的極限。

But just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

但困難並不意味著不可能。

Here are 5 tips for healthy relationships during medical school.

這裡有5個關於醫學院期間健康關係的提示。

It should be noted that although we are referring specifically to romantic relationships in

應該指出的是，雖然我們具體指的是戀愛關係中的

this video, many of these tips can also be applied to your relationships with friends,

這段視頻中，許多提示也可以應用於你與朋友的關係。

family, and other important people in your life.

家庭，以及你生活中的其他重要人物。

With that in mind, let’s get onto the list.

考慮到這一點，讓我們進入名單。

Tip number one is to maintain a positive mindset.

技巧一是保持積極的心態。

Many medical students believe they don’t have enough time for dating or relationships.

許多醫學生認為他們沒有足夠的時間去約會或戀愛。

But if this is your mentality, your relationships are doomed to fail from the start.

但如果這是你的心態，你的關係從一開始就註定要失敗。

As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re

正如亨利-福特的名言："無論你認為你能，還是你認為你不能--你都是

right.”

對。"

Medical school is incredibly demanding on your time.

醫學院對你的時間要求極高。

It can be easy to get caught up in the belief that any time not spent studying, preparing

我們很容易陷入這樣的信念中，即任何沒有花在學習、準備上的時間都是不可能的。

for boards, or furthering your career in some way is time wasted.

為委員會工作，或以某種方式促進你的職業生涯，都是在浪費時間。

However, this is untrue.

然而，這是不真實的。

As we’ve discussed in previous videos on this channel, when it comes to productivity

正如我們在本頻道以前的視頻中所討論的，當涉及到生產力時

and efficiency, sustainability is the name of the game.

和效率，可持續性是遊戲的名稱。

To maintain high levels of productivity over long periods of time, you need to have balance

為了長期保持高水平的生產力，你需要有平衡感

in your life.

在你的生活中。

Neglecting self-care and relationships is a surefire way to burn out and will only make

忽視自我照顧和人際關係是一種肯定的方式，會使人精疲力竭，只會使

you less effective over time.

隨著時間的推移，你的效率會降低。

You need to give yourself time to decompress and unwind outside of medical school and relationships

你需要給自己在醫學院和人際關係之外的時間來解壓和放鬆。

can be a great outlet to do just that.

可以是一個很好的管道來做到這一點。

Once you’ve decided that you’re too busy for relationships, however, it often becomes

然而，一旦你決定你太忙了，不適合談戀愛，它往往就會變成

a self-fulfilling prophecy.

一個自我實現的預言。

This mindset colors your perception and influences your behavior.

這種心態會給你的認知帶來色彩，影響你的行為。

As a result, you don’t end up putting in the time or effort necessary to maintain a

結果是，你最終沒有投入必要的時間或精力來維持一個

healthy relationship.

健康的關係。

Remember, dating and relationships are supposed to be fun.

記住，約會和關係應該是有趣的。

They’re great opportunities for growth and self-development.

它們是成長和自我發展的絕佳機會。

Not only do you learn a lot about others, but you also learn a lot about yourself.

你不僅能學到很多關於他人的知識，而且還能學到很多關於自己的知識。

But once you start viewing your relationships as a burden or a chore, you set them up for

但是，一旦你開始把你的關係看作是一種負擔或苦差事，你就為他們設置了

failure.

失敗。

Tip number two is to practice effective communication.

技巧二是練習有效的溝通。

Poor communication is one of the most common issues that couples face, but during medical

溝通不暢是夫妻面臨的最常見的問題之一，但在醫療期間

school, it becomes even more critical.

在學校，它變得更加關鍵。

During your training, the majority of your waking hours will be spent in the classroom,

在你的培訓期間，你大部分清醒的時間將在課堂上度過。

in the clinic, or studying.

在診所，或學習。

Your schedule is often so demanding that it’s not uncommon for everything else to take a

你的日程安排往往是如此苛刻，以至於其他事情都要佔用時間，這是很常見的。

back seat–including relationships.

後面的座位，包括關係。

As such, it’s crucial to communicate effectively with your partner and manage their expectations.

是以，與你的伴侶有效溝通並管理他們的期望是至關重要的。

Unless you’re dating someone within medicine, it can be challenging for your partner to

除非你和醫學界的人約會，否則你的伴侶要想知道你的情況，可能很有挑戰性。

understand the amount of time and commitment it takes to become a physician.

瞭解成為一名醫生所需的時間和承諾。

They may take your busy schedule as meaning you’re too busy for them or not making time.

他們可能會認為你的繁忙日程意味著你對他們來說太忙或沒有時間。

But we all go through phases in our lives and during this phase, your career is a top

但我們的生活都會經歷一些階段，在這個階段，你的事業是一個最重要的

priority.

優先權。

You need to be transparent with your partner and make sure they understand that just because

你需要對你的伴侶保持透明，並確保他們理解，僅僅因為

you won’t always have time to spend with them doesn’t mean they aren’t important

你不總是有時間和他們在一起，並不意味著他們不重要。

to you.

給你。

One tactic that I’ve found helpful is letting your partner know your level of certainty

我發現有一種策略很有幫助，就是讓你的伴侶知道你的確定程度

when committing to an event.

承諾參加一個活動時。

During your clinical rotations in your third and fourth years of medical school, your schedule

在醫學院第三和第四年的臨床輪換期間，你的日程安排是

can be incredibly inconsistent.

可能是令人難以置信的不一致。

You may get called in or stay late and have to cancel plans at the last minute.

你可能會被叫去工作或待到很晚，不得不在最後一刻取消計劃。

Letting your partner know how certain you are ahead of time, whether it be 90%, 50%

提前讓你的伴侶知道你的確定程度，無論是90%，還是50%。

or even 20%, can help you manage expectations and avoid arguments.

甚至20%，可以幫助你管理預期，避免爭論。

This next tip goes hand-in-hand with communication; however, it’s important enough that it warrants

下一個建議是與溝通相輔相成的；然而，它的重要性足以讓它值得一提。

its own point.

它自己的觀點。

Tip number three is to set boundaries.

祕訣三是設定界限。

To your partner, it may seem like your only set obligations are in the classroom and the

對你的夥伴來說，你唯一的固定義務可能是在課堂上和

clinic or hospital–but ask anyone in medical school and they’ll tell you that’s far

診所或醫院，但問問醫學院的人，他們會告訴你這是遠遠不夠的。

from the whole story.

從整個故事來看。

It is estimated that the average medical student spends around 3-5 hours per day studying and

據估計，醫學生平均每天要花大約3-5小時學習和

as much as 8-11 hours per day around exams.

每天圍繞考試的時間多達8-11小時。

It is important to set boundaries and let your partner know that just because you don’t

重要的是設定界限，讓你的伴侶知道，僅僅因為你不

physically have to be somewhere doesn’t mean that you’re always available to spend

身體必須在某個地方，並不意味著你總是可以花錢。

time together.

在一起的時間。

If your partner is also in school, studying together from time to time can be a great

如果你的伴侶也在學校，不時地一起學習可以是一個很好的選擇。

way to spend time with each other; however, this will depend heavily on you and your partner.

與對方共度時光的方式；然而，這在很大程度上取決於你和你的伴侶。

Some couples are able to study effectively together, whereas others get distracted and

一些夫婦能夠有效地一起學習，而另一些夫婦則會分心和

focus too much on stress relief during study sessions.

在學習過程中過於注重緩解壓力。

Be honest with yourselves and set boundaries as necessary to ensure you’re able to get

對自己誠實，並在必要時設定界限，以確保你們能夠獲得

your work done.

你的工作已經完成。

In addition to study time, it is important to give yourself time to practice self-care.

除了學習時間外，給自己留出時間進行自我護理也很重要。

Focus on being real with your partner and your needs.

專注於對你的伴侶和你的需求的真實性。

Although you’re short on time, there may still be occasions when you need to decompress

雖然你的時間很短，但可能仍有需要減壓的場合。

on your own or be alone with your thoughts.

獨自一人或獨自思考。

Other times it may be beneficial to have someone else there.

其他時候，有其他人在場可能會有好處。

Communicate your needs to your partner and make sure you’re on the same page.

向你的伴侶溝通你的需求，並確保你們在同一起跑線上。

Setting boundaries is an important part of any relationship.

設定界限是任何關係中的一個重要部分。

Every moment away from studying or the hospital doesn’t need to be spent with your partner.

離開學習或醫院的每一刻都不需要和你的伴侶一起度過。

Trying to do so is often a recipe for disaster.

試圖這樣做往往是一種災難的根源。

This brings me to tip number four which is to be creative with how you and your partner

這使我想到了第四條建議，即創造性地處理你和你的伴侶的關係。

spend time together.

花時間在一起。

Although you shouldn’t try to combine work and play, you can still take advantage of

雖然你不應該試圖把工作和娛樂結合起來，但你仍然可以利用

tasks that you might otherwise do alone.

否則你可能會獨自完成的任務。

Sometimes routine errands such as getting groceries, going to the gym, cooking dinner,

有時例行公事，如買菜、去健身房、做晚飯。

or even doing chores around the house can be fun opportunities to spend time with your

甚至在家裡做家務都可以成為與你的家人共度時光的有趣機會。

partner.

夥伴。

If you can try to find joy in the little, everyday things with your partner, it often

如果你能嘗試在與你的伴侶的日常小事中找到快樂，它往往會

makes the big date nights or vacations feel that much more special.

使得重要的約會之夜或假期感覺更加特別。

This strategy has worked well for Plastic Surgeon Dr. Joshua Goldman and his wife – who

這一策略對整形外科醫生約書亞-戈德曼博士和他的妻子來說非常有效，他們

is an orthopedic surgeon.

是一名骨科醫生。

If you’d like to see him discuss this topic in detail, be sure to check out a day in his

如果你想看他詳細討論這個話題，一定要看看他的一天的工作。

life over on the Kevin Jubbal, M.D.

醫學博士凱文-朱波爾的生活。

channel - link in the description.

頻道--描述中的鏈接。

Lastly, tip number five is to view relationships as a team sport.

最後，第五條建議是將關係視為一項團隊運動。

During medical school, it’s inevitable that problems will arise.

在醫學院期間，出現問題是不可避免的。

But when issues present themselves, it’s important to remember that you and your partner

但當問題出現時，重要的是要記住，你和你的伴侶

are a team.

是一個團隊。

Instead of viewing the conflict as a you versus your partner situation, try to change your

不要把衝突看成是你與你的夥伴之間的衝突，而要嘗試改變你的

perspective and view it as you and your partner versus the problem.

觀點，並將其視為你和你的夥伴與問題的對比。

This is a simple but powerful change in mindset that will allow you and your partner to work

這是一個簡單但強大的心態變化，將使你和你的伴侶能夠工作

through problems more effectively.

更有效地通過問題。

There’s a popular quote that says, “You can either be right, or you can be happy.”

有一句流行的話說，"你要麼是正確的，要麼是快樂的"。

Instead of fixating on who’s right and trying to prove your point, it’s much better to

與其糾結於誰是正確的並試圖證明自己的觀點，不如

focus on harmony and getting along.

注重和諧和相處。

If you’re willing to step down and not succumb to your ego, you’ll often find it easier

如果你願意放下身段，不屈服於你的自我，你往往會發現它更容易

to smooth out points of friction and prevent them from blowing up into bigger conflicts.

撫平摩擦點，防止它們演變成更大的衝突。

It’s also important to remember that relationships won’t always be an even split.

同樣重要的是要記住，關係不會總是平分秋色。

You’ll often hear people say that they should be an even 50/50 split or even 100/100 split;

你經常會聽到有人說，他們應該是50/50的比例，甚至是100/100的比例。

however, if you take these too literally you may find yourself in a toxic relationship.

然而，如果你把這些東西看得太重，你可能會發現自己處於一個有毒的關係中。

On the one hand, if you strive to be a perfect 50/50 split, you risk your relationship becoming

一方面，如果你努力做到完美的50/50分割，你的關係有可能變得

transactional.

交易性的。

Whenever you do something, you expect an equivalent action or behavior in return.

每當你做某件事時，你都希望有同等的行動或行為作為回報。

Over time, it can become exhausting to keep tally and trust and connection erode.

隨著時間的推移，記賬會變得很累，信任和聯繫會被削弱。

On the other hand, if you look at them as 100/100 then you may end up giving too much

另一方面，如果你把它們看成是100/100，那麼你最終可能會付出太多。

of yourself to the relationship.

自己的關係。

Remember, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first.

記住，你需要先戴上你自己的氧氣罩。

In life, you should always be your number one priority–and your partner should do

在生活中，你應該永遠是你的第一要務，而你的伴侶也應該如此。

the same.

彼此相同。

The key here is being flexible and understanding that sometimes things won’t be equal.

這裡的關鍵是要有靈活性，理解有時事情不會是平等的。

Sometimes your partner will give more, and sometimes you’ll give more.

有時你的伴侶會付出更多，有時你會付出更多。

Maintaining an effective relationship during medical school can be challenging; however,

在醫學院期間保持有效的關係可能是一個挑戰；但是。

it’s not impossible.

這不是不可能的。

I was in a relationship for 3 years during medical school and found it to be a net positive

我在醫學院期間談了3年的戀愛，發現這對我來說是件好事。

experience accelerating personal growth.

體驗加速個人成長。

That being said, this will vary from person to person.

這就是說，這將因人而異。

There are always unforeseen pros and cons that come along with relationships and dating

戀愛和約會總是有不可預知的利與弊

during medical school may not be right for everyone.

在醫學院學習期間，可能不是每個人都適合。

Only you can decide what’s best for yourself.

只有你能決定什麼對你自己是最好的。

Thank you all so much for watching.

非常感謝大家的觀看。

If you’d like to learn more about the realities of dating during medical school or my personal

如果你想了解更多關於醫學院期間約會的現實情況或我個人的

experiences with it, be sure to check out Dating & Relationships in Medical School & Residency

的經驗，請務必查看《醫學院和住院醫師的約會和關係》。

over on the Kevin Jubbal, M.D.

在Kevin Jubbal, M.D。

channel.

管道。

Much love, and I’ll see you guys there.

非常感謝，我們會在那裡見到你們。