Diana Chang, Hey Diana, you're getting your driver's license.

戴安娜-張，嘿，戴安娜，你要拿到你的駕駛執照了。

I thought because I like to help my staff members, I take you out, give you some of my points because I've been driving for a long time.

我想因為我喜歡幫助我的工作人員，我帶你出去，給你一些我的積分，因為我已經開了很長時間的車。

I got my license when I was 16 and that was Well, how old do you think I am?

我在16歲時拿到了駕照，那是......你認為我有多大？

Like 50 50 something?

像50 50什麼的？

Which you are right, That's not the point.

你是對的，這不是問題的關鍵。

You look, you look like you're in your at most 40s I want you to do is look to camera and say it's plausible, plausible that I'm in my early 30s.

你看起來，你看起來最多隻有40多歲，我想讓你做的是看著鏡頭說這是可信的，可信的是我在30歲出頭。

It's plausible that Conan is in his early 30s.

柯南在30歲出頭是有道理的。

That's me, that's my break, right?

那是我，那是我的休息，對嗎？

Isn't that cool?

這不是很酷嗎？

I have my own break.

我有自己的休息時間。

Really fun.

真的很有趣。

Did they tell you you should use both hands at all times?

他們有沒有告訴你，你應該一直使用雙手？

See I think that's not necessary.

看，我認為這沒有必要。

Yeah.

是的。

Makes it hard to text.

讓人很難發短信。

Makes it hard to make stuff your hands.

使得你的手很難做出東西來。

Remember is it tending to their supposed to be on um Actually since airbags came out, we learned that you want to drive with them lower.

記住是趨向於他們應該在嗯其實自從安全氣囊出來後，我們瞭解到，你想開車時把它們放低。

No one told me that.

沒有人告訴我這些。

Well you might have learned driving before airbags came out.

好吧，你可能在安全氣囊出現之前就已經學會了駕駛。

Well you just let that guy pass you and so now it's like you're his bitch, you know what I mean?

好吧，你只是讓那個傢伙超過你，所以現在就像你是他的婊子，你明白我的意思嗎？

So you've got to be like no, I'm not your bitch, you're my bitch and then you accelerate and cut him off.

所以你得說，不，我不是你的婊子，你是我的婊子，然後你加速並切斷他。

Okay go faster, pass him, I'm trying yo out the window, you're my bitch go yo yo you're my bitch close and you whispered it doing the right thing here, you're letting people cross.

好吧，走快一點，超過他，我正在努力喲窗外，你是我的婊子去喲你是我的婊子接近和你低聲說它在這裡做正確的事情，你讓人們穿過。

I think this couple right here is milking it.

我認為這對夫婦在這裡是在擠奶。

You know what I hate is when people take their time crossing the street, lower your window so the next time you pass someone they can hear you when you say you're my bitch, Okay, go, you're my bitch, those people that was sad, It was an older asian couple that you yelled, did you feel bad doing that and just glared in the window at you.

你知道我最討厭的是人們過馬路時不緊不慢，把你的車窗降下來，這樣下次你經過別人時，他們就能聽到你說你是我的婊子，好了，走吧，你是我的婊子，那些人很傷心，那是一對亞洲老夫婦，你大喊大叫，你覺得這樣做不好嗎，只是在窗口瞪著你看。

Start trouble.

開始的麻煩。

Okay, look now they're coming up, look look what they're doing.

好了，看現在他們上來了，看一看他們在做什麼。

They just passed you you just got schooled by Sienna minivan.

他們剛剛超過你，你就被Sienna小貨車教訓了。

You're doing great Diana, but we're gonna up the ante Now.

你做得很好，戴安娜，但我們現在要加大賭注了。

I want you to learn what it's like to drive when there are other passengers in the car and maybe things get a little distracting so we're gonna swing by over here and pick up two of my friends are cool with that hey?

我想讓你學習一下，當車裡有其他乘客時，開車是什麼感覺，也許事情會有點分心，所以我們要在這裡轉轉，接上我的兩個朋友，沒問題吧？

Yeah.

是的。

All right.

好的。

Damn thing.

該死的東西。

Okay, rule number one, don't this up, back seat, you know, home is in the back seat like we might need you to do a drive by so you gotta know how to get Oh man, that's uh bonanza, that's the man, I'm not putting on my seatbelt, seatbelt on life.

好吧，規則一，不要這個了，後座，你知道，家就在後座上，就像我們可能需要你去開車，所以你得知道如何得到哦，夥計，那是呃bonanza，那是男人，我不把我的安全帶，安全帶的生活。

What thug life?

什麼暴徒生活？

No seatbelts, not for me.

沒有安全帶，不適合我。

Hey man, hey tupac was one of the biggest thugs.

嘿，夥計，嘿，圖帕克是最大的暴徒之一。

I know and he always was a really good point.

我知道，而且他始終是一個非常好的觀點。

All right, Here we go, slow down, jesus?

好了，我們走吧，慢點，耶穌？

You ever you ever date a black guy?

你曾經和一個黑人約會過嗎？

Yeah.

是的。

Was he cool?

他酷嗎？

He was kind of dorky.

他有點傻傻的。

Like Merkel?

像默克爾？

Dorky.

多克的。

No, no, no.

不，不，不。

I mean he was just like kevin Hart.

我的意思是他就像凱文-哈特。

I'm one of the coolest guys ever, man.

我是有史以來最酷的人之一，夥計。

Diana.

戴安娜。

Am I cool?

我很酷嗎？

Yeah, you're the funny friend zoned.

是的，你就是那個有趣的朋友區。

I know I'm not the women don't put me in the friend zone when they see me.

我知道我不是女人，當她們看到我時不會把我放在朋友區。

First thing that comes to mind is I wanna bump bellies.

我想到的第一件事是我想撞肚子。

Only when you score.

只有在你得分的時候。

I haven't been in the end zone lots of times.

我沒有在端區呆過很多次。

And let me tell you something when I get in there.

讓我告訴你，當我進入那裡的時候。

I dance, You dance.

我跳舞，你也跳舞。

You know what I'm talking about?

你知道我在說什麼嗎？

No, I don't.

不，我不知道。

We're talking about Colin didn't get the metaphor.

我們說的是科林沒有得到隱喻。

You didn't get it.

你沒有得到它。

Yeah, that's what we were talking to.

是的，這就是我們正在談論的問題。

A nighttime walker.

一個夜行者。

I'm not a nighttime walker.

我不是一個夜行者。

Let's put him out right here and see how much money.

讓我們在這裡把他放出來，看看有多少錢。

I'm not a male prostitute.

我不是一個男妓。

All right, I'll get out.

好吧，我出去。

What do I do?

我應該怎麼做？

What do I do when I walk around, man?

我到處走動的時候做什麼，夥計？

You just kidding?

你只是在開玩笑？

I'll be back here in 20 minutes and have my trap full.

我將在20分鐘內回到這裡，把我的陷阱裝滿。

You're gonna turn me out.

你要把我趕出去。

I'll be here two hours.

我將在這裡呆兩個小時。

You have my trap.

你有我的陷阱。

I honestly don't know what you're talking about.

老實說，我不知道你在說什麼。

I honestly, I'm not even doing a bit here?

說實話，我在這裡甚至沒有做一點什麼？

I don't know what you're going to have money.

我不知道你會有什麼錢。

What do you mean?

你是什麼意思？

How did us teaching Diana to drive?

我們是如何教戴安娜開車的？

Turn into.

轉為。

I'm a male prostitute.

我是一個男妓。

You're gonna put me out and you're gonna come back in an hour and you want your trap?

你要把我放出去，一小時後再回來，你想讓你的陷阱？

Don't let it get over your lane.

不要讓它超過你的車道。

I used to have a tray full of pennies.

我曾經有一個裝滿便士的托盤。

That's ridiculous.

這很荒唐。

Penny!

佩妮!

Is this person cutting you off?

這個人是否在切斷你的聯繫？

Penny go.

佩妮走了。

Did you have a target?

你有一個目標嗎？

Okay.

好的。

Police fire department.

警察消防部門。

Okay.

好的。

You just really don't know what to do Diana.

你只是真的不知道該怎麼做，戴安娜。

I gotta find somebody to get mad at cut myself cutting us off Jack.

我得找個人來發火，把我自己切掉，傑克。

This Penny had your name on it man.

這支竹篙上有你的名字，夥計。

I was about to throw this.

我正準備扔掉這個。

Penny was about to throw a penny at you.

佩妮正準備向你扔硬幣。

You see Diana driving she a student driver man.

你看戴安娜開車，她是一個學生司機的人。

Your ship together, driving a car without power windows is a big mistake.

你們的船在一起，駕駛沒有電動窗的汽車是一個大錯誤。

I can't do this all day.

我不能整天都這樣做。

And you know how stupid is looking you go mother, how you doing?

你知道這有多愚蠢嗎？"媽媽，你好嗎？

How you doing there?

你在那裡做得怎麼樣？

Good.

很好。

We're looking for marijuana.

我們正在尋找大麻。

What did he say?

他說什麼了？

Pedro and what?

佩德羅和什麼？

12, 12 and 12.

12、12和12。

I think he was talking about san Pedro 12.

我想他說的是聖佩德羅12號。

Is it to different places?

是去不同的地方嗎？

You're not even driving?

你甚至沒有開車？

Why are you assuming that cube knows more about this neighborhood than I do?

為什麼你假設立方比我更瞭解這個社區？

Why aren't you asking me about this neighborhood?

你為什麼不問我這一帶的情況？

You're absolutely right about that.

這一點你說得很對。

That's racist, racist towards me.

這是種族主義者，對我的種族主義者。

Is it is it Pedro Pedro?

它是佩德羅嗎？

I'm not sure.

我不確定。

I've never been down here and I'm terrified.

我從來沒有下來過這裡，我很害怕。

Yeah, we're gonna buy weed.

是的，我們要買大麻。

Have you done crack booger sugar doing coke through your but how that conversation goes man.

你有沒有做過可卡因、鼻菸壺和可卡因，但你的對話是如何進行的？

That's just taking too long.

這實在是太長了。

Do me a favor and blow it in my butt.

幫我一個忙，把它吹到我的屁股上。

Don't follow rules.

不要遵守規則。

I think rules are for bitches.

我認為規則是為母狗準備的。

Yeah.

是的。

And you know what bitches get stitches.

而你知道什麼是母狗被縫合。

You said it sounds like an announcement.

你說這聽起來像一個公告。

Get stitches.

獲得縫合。

Do you know they say bitches get stitches?

你知道他們說母狗會被縫合嗎？

I thought I sounded pretty good.

我覺得我的聲音很好聽。

But I bet you were wild in your college days.

但我打賭你在大學時代一定很狂野。

Oh man I was balls to the wall.

哦，夥計，我是球到牆上。

I put it up there and I saw it would stick.

我把它放在那裡，我看到它將會堅持。

I rolled that onion all the way down.

我把那個洋蔥一直卷下去。

I tried everything.

我什麼都試過了。

Everyone chicks.

每個人都是小雞。

Dudes, I did it all.

夥計們，我都做到了。

I knew you was a male prostitute.

我知道你是個男妓。

Paid off my student loan.

還清了我的學生貸款。

No, no we're gonna get you guys a pinata.

不，不，我們要給你們準備一個皮納塔。

Don't sell no ass while you out is dressed like a male prostitute.

不要在你出去的時候賣掉任何屁股，而你卻穿得像個男妓。

I got you.

我抓住了你。

This pinata pinata is around here is bullshit.

這個皮納塔皮納塔在這裡是胡說八道。

Alright let's keep going.

好吧，讓我們繼續前進。

What's your favorite fast food Popeyes?

你最喜歡的快餐Popeyes是什麼？

Popeyes.

Popeyes。

Diana, I almost married you just now.

戴安娜，我剛才差點就嫁給你了。

There you go.

你去吧。

There you go.

你去吧。

Said how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

說一個木頭人能夾多少木頭？

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

如果一隻木頭人能夾住木頭。

You take that into the studio.

你把它帶到工作室。

That goes to number one bad.

這是第一壞。

It's not bad.

這並不壞。

But the kids are listening to.

但孩子們都在聽。

Now.

現在。

Naughty by nature.

天性頑皮。

O.

O.

P.

P.

P.

P.

How can I explain it?

我怎樣才能解釋呢？

I'll take it frame by frame.

我一幀一幀地看。

Oh my goodness.

哦，我的天哪。

That's what's happening now.

這就是現在的情況。

What's that dispensary.

那是什麼藥房。

Oh are you serious?

哦，你是認真的嗎？

Yeah that's great.

是的，這很好。

Can we come in?

我們可以進來嗎？

We got we got a license.

我們得到了我們得到了一個許可證。

She's normally used to putting drugs in her butt.

她通常習慣於把毒品放在屁股裡。

It's called the prison wallet.

這就是所謂的監獄錢包。

Yeah.

是的。

You like sour patch kids Conan.

你喜歡吃酸奶的孩子，柯南。

Here you go get these.

在這裡，你去得到這些。

I want two kg of sour patch kids.

我想要兩公斤的酸奶孩子。

Okay um could you do me a favor?

好吧，嗯，你能幫我一個忙嗎？

I want to fill this pinata with.

我想把這個皮納塔裝滿。

We'd just start stacking them.

我們就開始堆放它們。

Do you have any tape?

你有錄音帶嗎？

An insane amount of smoke?

瘋狂的煙霧？

This is like a Cheech and Chong movie up front.

這就像前面的Cheech and Chong電影。

You gotta crack your window, we're gonna die.

你得敲開你的窗戶，我們會死的。

We're going to jail.

我們要進監獄了。

You have a good time.

你有一個美好的時光。

Didn't you had a good career.

你不是有一個很好的職業生涯嗎？

You're ready to call it.

你已經準備好打電話了。

Suddenly all my anxieties and fears are gone.

突然間，我所有的焦慮和恐懼都消失了。

Like I'm gonna break the law with a lot of weed on me policeman right there.

就像我要帶著很多大麻去犯法一樣，警察就在那裡。

Good thing is he's on a bike.

好在他騎的是自行車。

I broke the law in front of this policeman.

我在這個警察面前犯了法。

I'm just gonna speak.

我只是要發言。

Hello sorry about this sir sir.

你好，對不起，先生，先生。

Here's the good thing about me first and foremost.

以下是我的優點，首先是我的優點。

I'm a christian and what I learned is that jesus once walked on water, I don't know where I'm going with this guys.

我是一個基督徒，我學到的是耶穌曾經在水面上行走，我不知道我和這個傢伙要去哪裡。

Thank you very much officer.

非常感謝警官。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

It won't happen again.

這不會再發生了。

Yeah you better get going.

是的，你最好趕緊走。

What do you guys think this chicken, crack, crack cocaine right here.

你們認為這隻雞是什麼，可卡因，可卡因就在這裡。

I wonder if you could take this up the but the but I would do it.

我想知道，如果你能把這個拿上去，但我願意這樣做。

That's the only time I would do it.

這是我唯一會做的事。

Diana you are ready for your driver's test.

戴安娜，你已經準備好參加駕駛考試了。

Isn't she ready now, guys, you are listen in.

她現在不是準備好了嗎，夥計們，你們聽著。

The destructor says anything that you don't like.

破壞者說任何你不喜歡的東西。

You throw a battery at his.

你向他扔了一個電池。