Name: 弗洛伊德的俄狄浦斯情結如何能幫助你的性生活 (How Freud's Oedipus Complex Can Help Your Sex Life)
Uploaded: 2022-11-11T17:45:44.000Z
Duration: 6 min 6 s

The Oedipus Complex is one of the strangest and  most counter-intuitive concepts in psychoanalysis.  

俄狄浦斯情結是精神分析中最奇怪和最反直覺的概念之一。  

First formulated by Freud in 1899, and  taking its name from the mythical Greek  

弗洛伊德於1899年首次提出，其名稱來自希臘神話中的

tragic hero Oedipus (who in the eponymous play  by Sophocles unknowingly sleeps with his mother  

悲劇英雄俄狄浦斯（在索福克勒斯的同名劇中，他在不知情的情況下與他母親睡覺

and then kills his father), it suggests  that every child goes through a phase,  

然後殺了他的父親），這表明每個孩子都會經歷一個階段。

normally between the ages of three and  five, of physically desiring its opposite  

通常在三到五歲之間，身體上渴望得到它的反面。

sex parent while wishing to do away with,  or kill, its rivalrous same-sex parent.

在希望廢除或殺死其敵對的同性父母的同時，還希望能有一個同性的父母。

Expressed bluntly like this, the Complex  tends to arouse immediately puzzlement,  

像這樣直截了當地表達，這個綜合體往往會立即引起人們的疑惑。

ridicule - or disgust: children aren’t  generally to be witnessed expressing  

嘲笑--或厭惡：兒童一般不會被看到表達

any kind of sexual desire and we are  unlikely to remember anything in our  

任何形式的性慾，我們都不可能記住我們的任何東西。

own lives remotely resembling what Freud  insistently describes as a universal truth.

自己的生活與弗洛伊德堅持描述的普遍真理遙相呼應。

However, the explanatory power of the Oedipus  Complex is likely to increase - as is often  

然而，俄狄浦斯情結的解釋力可能會增加--就像通常所說的那樣

the case with Freud’s ideas - the less  literally we take it, in other words,  

換句話說，我們對弗洛伊德的想法越是不按字面意思理解。

the more we view it as providing  us with an overall picture of the  

我們越是認為它為我們提供了一個總體情況，即

genesis of human sexuality rather than as  a concrete event in a given child’s mind.

這是對人類性行為成因的分析，而不是作為某個兒童頭腦中的具體事件。

We might think of the Oedipus Complex as offering  us a guiding narrative about how we come, through  

我們可以認為，俄狄浦斯情結為我們提供了一個關於我們如何通過以下方式來實現的指導性敘述

the varied experiences of childhood, to have our  own distinctive approach to sexuality. The Complex  

在童年的各種經歷中，我們對性行為有自己獨特的方法。複雜的

shines a light on a range of questions: - How confident do we now feel in  

這本書照亮了一系列的問題。- 我們現在有多大的信心在

our powers of attractiveness? - Are we disgusted or broadly  

我們的吸引力的力量？- 我們是否感到厭惡或廣泛

at peace with our sexuality? - Do we think that other people  

對我們的性行為感到平靜嗎？- 我們是否認為其他人

are likely to reject or accept our advances? - How much are we intimidated by our desires?

有可能拒絕或接受我們的求愛嗎？- 我們在多大程度上被我們的慾望所嚇倒？

What is telling is that a huge range  of responses are to be found here:  

說明問題的是，在這裡可以找到大量的反應。  

some of us labour under critical degrees of  shame and terror. Others have no particular  

我們中的一些人在關鍵程度的羞恥和恐懼下工作。其他人則沒有特別的

difficulty making our appetites known and  acting on them in reciprocal situations. Sex  

在對等的情況下，很難讓人知道我們的胃口，並對其採取行動。性

may be a source of exceptional joy - or the  locus of boundless masochism and paranoia.

可能是特殊快樂的來源--也可能是無限的受虐狂和偏執狂的所在地。

With Freud’s ideas in mind, rather than imagining  that we actually wanted to sleep with anyone as  

有了弗洛伊德的想法，而不是想象我們真的想和任何人睡覺，因為

children, we might say that we went through a  phase of exploring what it might mean to prove  

我們可以說，我們經歷了一個探索 "證明 "可能意味著什麼的階段。

attractive to a man or a woman. Importantly, we  did so in the form of a game, one in which we no  

對男人或女人的吸引力。重要的是，我們是以遊戲的形式這樣做的，其中我們沒有

more wanted things to become real than we would  - when we played pirates or jungle explorers  

當我們扮演海盜或叢林探險家時，我們更希望事情變得真實，而不是我們自己。

in the kitchen - have wished to join an actual  Caribbean drug cartel or a trip down the Amazon.

在廚房裡--希望加入一個真正的加勒比海毒品卡特爾或在亞馬遜河上旅行。

Little boys and girls will, in a limited  way, try out what happens if they attempt  

小男孩和女孩會在有限的範圍內嘗試如果他們嘗試會發生什麼

to charm mum or dad; at a given point, they  might pull a highly endearing smile and say  

吸引媽媽或爸爸；在某一時刻，他們可能會露出非常可愛的笑容，說

they want to spend the rest of their life with  only one parent, or send the other one away or  

他們想一輩子只和父母中的一個人在一起，或把另一個人送走，或

muse that it might be nice if they could have  a little wedding ceremony with one parent only.

我想，如果他們能舉行一個只有父母一方參加的小婚禮，那可能會很好。

And here - for better and for worse - the games  can unfold very differently according to the  

而在這裡--不管是好是壞--遊戲的展開都會因人而異。

emotional maturity of the parent. In an optimal  scenario, when a small child initiates a game,  

父母的情感成熟度。在最佳情況下，當一個小孩子主動提出遊戲時。

the adult will be exceptionally careful neither  to shame nor to excite them. They won’t say ‘Don’t  

成人會特別小心，既不羞辱也不刺激他們。他們不會說 "不要

be so silly’ or ‘How repulsive’. They won’t get  furious or punishing. They will be resolved enough  

是如此愚蠢'或'多麼令人厭惡'。他們不會大發雷霆或受到懲罰。他們會有足夠的決心

about their own sexuality not to take fright at  its first echoes in their child. They will notice  

他們對自己的性行為不感到害怕，因為它在他們的孩子身上第一次出現了回聲。他們會注意到

what’s going on, smile indulgently and go along  with the game just long enough for the child to  

縱容地微笑，順著遊戲的方向走，只需足夠長的時間讓孩子們

feel acknowledged and heard. And yet they will  naturally not do anything remotely seductive  

感到被承認和被傾聽。然而，他們自然不會做任何有誘惑力的事情

back. They will, with great kindness, ensure  that the game always stays very much a game.

背面。他們將以極大的善意，確保遊戲始終保持在非常大的程度上是一個遊戲。

So much is, however, liable to go wrong. There  are mothers and fathers too fragile internally  

然而，很多事情是容易出錯的。有的母親和父親內部太脆弱了

to allow a child to flex their faculties  of attraction; they get bitter or snide,  

允許孩子發揮他們的吸引能力；他們變得痛苦或冷嘲熱諷。

dismissive or angry; there can only be one chief  or one queen bee. There are parents too deeply  

蔑視或憤怒；只能有一個酋長或一個蜂后。有的父母太深

swallowed up in cares and depression to allow  themselves to be charmed. And then there are  

吞沒在憂慮和抑鬱中，讓自己被迷惑。然後有

parents whose loneliness and confusion means  they mistake a child’s game for some form of  

父母的孤獨和困惑意味著他們把孩子的遊戲誤認為是某種形式的

genuine desire for sexual contact - with all the  obvious tragic life-long repercusions that ensue.

對性接觸的真正渴望--以及隨之而來的所有明顯的悲慘的終生影響。

If we as adults have difficulties around sex, we  might - with Freud’s Oedipal concept in mind - ask  

如果我們作為成年人在性方面有困難，我們可能--考慮到弗洛伊德的戀母概念--問道

ourselves some of the following: - How much did I, as a child,  

我們自己的一些情況。- 我作為一個孩子，有多少東西。

feel able to charm my mother or father? - Did they seem to take pleasure in my existence? 

覺得自己能夠吸引我的母親或父親嗎？- 他們似乎對我的存在感到高興嗎？

- Were they angry, sad or simply elsewhere? - Was my same sex parent able to tolerate my games  

- 他們是憤怒、悲傷還是僅僅在其他地方？- 我的同性父母是否能夠容忍我的遊戲？

or did they respond with bitterness or bullying? - Concurrently, how much did my parents give me  

還是他們用痛苦或欺凌來回應？- 同時，我的父母給了我多少

a sense that they knew boundaries and would  stop any game when it needed to be stopped?

有一種感覺，他們知道邊界，並會在需要停止的時候停止任何遊戲？

Freud understood that adult mental health depends  on the early expressions of our desire having been  

弗洛伊德明白，成年人的心理健康取決於我們的慾望的早期表達是否得到滿足。

handled with particular skill by those around us:  without excessive punishment or licence, without  

我們周圍的人以特別的技巧處理：沒有過度的懲罰或許可，沒有

neglect or enticement, without anger or shame.  The healthy adult is someone who can feel potent  

忽視或引誘，沒有憤怒或羞恥。  健康的成年人是一個能夠感受到強大的

without being terrified or guilty. Their games  went well; now their reality can follow suit.

而不感到害怕或內疚。他們的遊戲進行得很順利；現在他們的現實可以效仿。

Freud’s Oedipal Complex becomes a  source of valuable insight once we  

弗洛伊德的戀母情結一旦成為我們有價值的洞察力的來源

separate it from its more literal  formulations. It might show us why  

將其與更多的字面表述分開。它可能告訴我們為什麼

sex has ended up a lot more complicated  for us than it should ever have been.

對我們來說，性生活最終變得比它本該有的更復雜。