Thanks so much for being a part of our journey, how do you see yourself?

非常感謝你成為我們旅程的一部分，你是如何看待自己的？

Are you very critical of how you look or behave when talking about things that can destroy your self esteem?

談到會破壞你的自尊心的事情，你是否對自己的外表或行為非常挑剔？

Your first thought maybe to do with the effects of social media or toxic friendships, but that's not all the way you view and speak to yourself, can also play a very big role.

你的第一個想法也許是與社交媒體或有毒友誼的影響有關，但這並不是你看待自己和對自己說話的方式的全部，也可以發揮非常大的作用。

You might not even be aware of some of these tendencies, such as thinking in a self deprecating manner.

你甚至可能沒有意識到其中的一些傾向，例如以自我貶低的方式思考。

So to help you here are seven things that are destroying your self esteem.

是以，為了幫助你，這裡有七件正在破壞你自尊的事情。

Number one assuming other people's opinions of you, do you always think you know how someone feels about you?

第一假設別人對你的看法，你是否總是認為你知道別人對你的感覺？

Let's say you have a friend who suddenly acting differently than normal, would you jump the gun and believe that it's you who caused their change in mood.

假設你有一個朋友突然表現得和正常人不一樣，你會不會跳出來，認為是你造成了他們的情緒變化。

This form of overthinking can be damaging to your mental health and affect how you see yourself.

這種形式的過度思考會損害你的心理健康，影響你對自己的看法。

Remember that not every negative thing has to do with you.

記住，不是每件負面的事情都與你有關。

Perhaps they were just having a bad day or are thinking about someone else assuming their bad mood is your fault.

也許他們只是今天心情不好，或者在想別人，假設他們的壞心情是你的錯。

Maybe a thought process caused by bad experiences in the past.

也許是由過去的不良經歷引起的思維過程。

So don't forget to take it easy and reassure yourself whenever the instinct and patterns repeat themselves.

是以，每當本能和模式重複出現時，不要忘記放輕鬆，讓自己放心。

It may also be good to surround yourself with understanding and supportive friends who can reassure you in times when you feel insecure, number two carrying long term emotional baggage, everyone goes through bad experiences in one way or another and while it's not that easy to let go of them, these unresolved mental hurdles can really stick with you and hinder your growth, it's important and healthy to take your time, but when you're ready to take another step forward, it's good to start making peace with your past, Remind yourself that your previous bad experiences don't define you as a person.

在你周圍有一些理解和支持你的朋友，他們可以在你感到不安全的時候讓你放心，這可能也是一件好事，第二，揹負長期的情緒包袱，每個人都會以這種或那種方式經歷不好的經歷，雖然放下它們並不那麼容易。這些未解決的心理障礙真的會伴隨著你並阻礙你的成長，慢慢來是很重要和健康的，但當你準備好向前邁出另一步時，開始與你的過去和平相處是很好的，提醒自己，你以前的糟糕經歷並不能定義你是一個人。

They're just memories through forgiveness, peace and acceptance, you can let go of its power and hold over you.

他們只是通過寬恕、和平和接受來回憶，你可以放開它的力量和對你的控制。

# three, letting yourself go.

# 第三，讓自己離開。

When was the last time you had a proper healthy meal?

你最後一次吃到合適的健康餐是什麼時候？

Do you often sleep late and load up on junk food?

你是否經常睡得很晚，並且吃很多垃圾食品？

It's easy to take yourself for granted, but what most don't realize is that these small things can add up over time and become habits.

我們很容易認為自己是理所當然的，但大多數人沒有意識到的是，這些小事會隨著時間的推移而增加，併成為習慣。

You end up sending yourself a mental message that you are not worth the effort and this can lead to hopelessness.

你最終會給自己一個心理暗示，即你不值得努力，這可能導致無望。

A good tip on rewiring your mindset is by thinking if you treat someone you respect like you've been with yourself, is this how you would take care of your friend?

一個關於重塑心態的好建議是，通過思考如果你對待你尊敬的人就像對待你自己一樣，你會這樣照顧你的朋友嗎？

If it isn't, then perhaps your body is lacking the pampering it needs, you could try to adopt just one good habit for yourself and stick to it, Take note of how you feel and continue the process until it becomes a sustainable routine.

如果不是這樣，那麼也許你的身體缺乏所需的呵護，你可以嘗試只為自己養成一個好習慣，並堅持下去，注意你的感覺，並繼續這一過程，直到它成為一個可持續的常規。

Ultimately there is no such thing as a perfect lifestyle.

歸根結底，沒有完美的生活方式這回事。

A realistic goal instead is to feel better in your own skin and to develop a good and healthy mental state.

相反，一個現實的目標是讓自己的皮膚感覺更好，並形成良好和健康的心理狀態。

Number four being an unforgiving self critic, do you tend to obsess over your flaws, no matter how small they are, according to Itamar shots, A PhD candidate at Cambridge University.

劍橋大學博士生伊塔瑪爾.瓦格納（Itamar shots）說："第四項是不寬容的自我批評，你是否傾向於糾纏於你的缺陷，無論它們有多小。

The act of magnifying the degree to which minor flaws in your appearance may be noticed or judged by others is called the spotlight effect.

放大你外表的微小缺陷可能被他人注意或判斷的程度的行為被稱為聚光燈效應。

This near constant habit of worrying over your flaws can be harmful to your self confidence and self esteem, since it can lead to negative thinking patterns, This preoccupation with your imperfections may also cause you to not focus or do any of the activities you want to enjoy.

這種近乎恆定的擔心自己缺陷的習慣可能對你的自信心和自尊心有害，因為它可能導致消極的思維模式，這種對自己不完美的關注也可能導致你不專注或做任何你想享受的活動。

So, if you find yourself getting worked up over it all the time, you can try to recognize when you're having these moments and follow up with reassuring and kind affirmations most of the time.

是以，如果你發現自己一直在為這個問題而煩惱，你可以試著認識到你什麼時候有這樣的時刻，並在大多數時候以令人放心和善良的肯定來跟進。

We are our own worst enemies.

我們是我們自己最大的敵人。

By learning how to rewire our self deprecating habits or slowly building a better outlook on ourselves?

通過學習如何重塑我們自我貶低的習慣，還是慢慢建立起更好的自我觀？

Number five, complimenting others while comparing yourself secretly.

第五，一邊誇獎別人，一邊暗中比較自己。

How do you feel when you see others celebrate their accomplishments?

當你看到別人慶祝他們的成就時，你有什麼感覺？

Do you praise them through gritted teeth?

你是否咬牙切齒地讚美他們？

A lot of people, especially women tend to do this, but it can be very damaging to your self esteem.

很多人，尤其是女性傾向於這樣做，但這對你的自尊心會造成很大的傷害。

It's a form of self sabotage, because the more you're complimenting their good traits, the more you're contrasting them to your own and once you feel that you are not the same as them, you end up developing a negative self image.

這是一種自我破壞，因為你越是讚美他們的好特徵，你就越是把他們和你自己的好特徵進行對比，一旦你覺得你和他們不一樣，你最終就會形成一個消極的自我形象。

If you truly want to compliment someone, be genuine about it, not everything is a competition.

如果你真的想讚美某人，就要真心實意地讚美他，不是所有的事情都是競爭。

If this is something you really struggle with, it may help to keep a gratitude journal in time, you may learn to see yourself in a kind of light.

如果這是你真正糾結的事情，及時寫下感恩日記可能會有幫助，你可能會學會從一種角度看待自己。

Number six, you tend to use always and never.

第六，你傾向於使用總是和從不。

Are you the type of person who makes extreme statements?

你是那種會發表極端言論的人嗎？

Perhaps you say always wash the dishes or never want to watch that show, Although it sounds trivial, these permanent sounding words can make your statement sound final and make you feel like you can't do anything to change them.

也許你說總是洗碗或永遠不想看那個節目，雖然聽起來微不足道，但這些聽起來永久的詞可以使你的聲明聽起來是最終的，讓你覺得你不能做任何事情來改變它們。

What if you wanted to skip the dishes or watch that show, chances are you feel like you can't do these things because it feels irrevocable, which can lead to a loss of confidence and a sense of hopelessness.

如果你想不洗碗或看那個節目，有可能你覺得你不能做這些事情，因為感覺無法挽回，這可能導致你失去信心和無望感。

It's helpful to remember that in your life.

在你的生活中記住這一點是很有幫助的。

There are always opportunities for random spontaneous moments.

總是有機會出現隨機的自發時刻。

So as much as possible.

是以，儘可能多的。

Try avoiding permanent words and don't be afraid of opening yourself up to new experiences and number seven, ignoring your emotional signals.

試著避免永久性的話語，不要害怕向新的經驗開放自己，第七，忽略你的情緒信號。

Do you try to understand your feelings or avoid them rejection and abandonment are contributing factors to a lack of self confidence.

你是試圖瞭解自己的感受還是迴避它們 拒絕和拋棄是導致缺乏自信心的因素。

After all, if you don't try to understand where your own emotions are coming from, chances are you won't be able to cope or handle them properly.

畢竟，如果你不嘗試瞭解你自己的情緒來自哪裡，你就有可能無法應對或正確處理這些情緒。

Feelings are feelings, they are automatic and tend to happen whether you like them or not for this reason, it's good to acknowledge and identify why you're feeling that certain way.

感覺就是感覺，它們是自動的，無論你是否喜歡，都會發生，為此，承認並確定你為什麼會有這種感覺是很好的。

If you're sad, try to give some time for yourself to accept, understand and cope with it.

如果你感到悲傷，試著給自己一些時間來接受、理解和應對它。

If you're happy, try to determine why and show gratitude for it.

如果你很高興，試著確定原因，並對其表示感謝。

Having a good understanding of your own emotions may lead to a boost in confidence.

對自己的情緒有一個很好的瞭解，可能會導致信心的提升。

Did you relate to any of these points?

你是否與這些觀點有關聯？

Let us know in the comments below.

請在下面的評論中告訴我們。

If you found this video helpful, be sure to like subscribe and share this video with those who might benefit from it and don't forget to hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever is like to go post a new video.

如果你覺得這段視頻對你有幫助，一定要喜歡訂閱並與那些可能從中受益的人分享這段視頻，不要忘了點擊通知鈴圖標，以便在每當喜歡去發佈新的視頻時獲得通知。

As always, the references and studies used in this video are added in the description below.

像往常一樣，本視頻中使用的參考資料和研究報告在下面的描述中添加。

Thanks so much for watching and see you in the next video.

非常感謝您的收看，我們在下一個視頻中再見。