some people still think that this time ’round in 2012 is the real deal.

有些人還是相信這次2012的預言確有其事

Why 2012? Because of ancient Mayan calendars. Obviously.

為什麼是 2012 呢? 是根據瑪雅人古老的曆法，很明顯就是這樣

Mayan calendars not only recorded the days and years, but also longer cycles of about

瑪雅曆法不只記載著日期和年份，也有一個五千年左右的大循環週期，

5 Millennia. So they could easily make calendars that went

所以他們就可以輕易的做出

1,000s of years into the future. But, of course, 1,000s of years in the future from 1,000s

能夠表示千年以後的未來曆法，但是，想當然幾千年前的數千年以後

of years ago brings us to current times when the Mayan calendars stop in 2012.

就把我們帶到了現代，而馬雅曆法的預測就停在2012年。

Modern new-agey people decided that the wise Mayans stopped making calendars because they

現在新世代的人認定聰明的馬雅人是因為知道要世界末日，所以才會停止曆法

knew when the world would end. And because new agers are happy – though

不過這些新世代的人卻很樂觀，即便對科學一竅不通，2012年對他們來說

scientifically illiterate – people their vision of 2012 was a great spiritual awakening

是一種偉大又崇高的覺醒之際，且世界就要重生了，

or world reboot or other hippy-consciousness-expanding nonsense that the Mayans, who spent time puling

又或者是其他嬉皮式的「意識超脫」之類的廢話，

strings of thorns through peoples’ tongue, probably didn’t have in mind.

而馬雅人忙著自殘血祭，大概沒想過以上解讀的方式

To a normal person the thought that: calendar finishes therefore end of the world is an

對一個正常的人來講:曆法結束就是世界末日，這個推論是很

odd conclusion to draw. After all, the amount of time in the Universe

奇怪的，畢竟，宇宙中的時間是無限的，

is infinite and the amount of stone is limited. So, at some point the Mayans had to stop carving

而石頭的數量有限，所以在某種程度上來說，馬雅人還是得停止刻

calendars. But never mind.

曆法，不過沒有關係，

What should have stayed a fringe belief turned into mass hysteria with the 2012 disaster

這原本只是一個極端偏激的信念，但隨著災難電影《2012》橫掃奧斯卡，

movie that swept the academy awards and the numerous emmy-nominated apocalypse documentaries

以及《歷史頻道》多部獲艾美獎提名的天啟紀錄片渲染，

on

就引發了

The History Channel. What happened to you guys?

大眾恐慌，你們大家怎麼了?

Anyway. After this NASA became so inundated with questions that they had to take time

無論如何，在這之後，NASA把原本應該花在做機器人、探索未開發的領域、汲取新知，

away from their busy robot building, frontier pushing, knowledge expanding, civilization

還有促進文明進步的計畫的時間，全部都用來製作網頁，向大家解釋不會有人員傷亡，

inspiring schedule, to write a webpage explaining that no, a human-sacrificing, stone-age society

也說明推著沒有輪子的推車、找不到鏡片來做望遠鏡的那種石器時代是不會發生的，

with neither wheels to pull carts nor glass to make telescopes, didn’t know more about

比起現今的科學家，

science at the dawn of than real scientists do today.

他們對科學的起源根本一無所知

But the parade of crazy marched on anyway making wilder and wilder predictions for Earth

但不管怎麼說，這股預言的風潮反而越演越烈，

including Geomagnetic Reversal (a process that unfolds

包括： 地磁逆轉(在地質年表上才會有的過程，不是一天就會發生的

on a geologic timescale, not a single day) A collision with mysterious Planet X (That

不是一天就會發生的) 神祕的Ｘ星球撞上地球(沒有一個天文學家

no astronomers have found) A local star going supernova (Despite

有發現這種事情) 本星系群的一顆恆星變成超新星

there being no such candidates) An Alien Invasion (Which is ludicrous

(只是目前還沒有候選名單) 外星人入侵 (看起來是滿可笑的

on the face of it… or is it?) And a galactic synchronization beam, whatever

...是嗎？) 還有銀河同步光波，

the hell that is. A sane person, at this point, would wonder

管他是什麼，這樣看來，正常人都會覺得

how the Mayans were able to predict astro-physical anomalies thousands of years in advance and

為什麼馬雅人有辦法預測未來幾千年的天文物理異象，而且還是離他們數百萬英里遠的地方

millions of miles away yet didn’t foresee the Spanish coming across the Atlantic.

，卻沒預料到西班牙人會橫越大西洋，

And that’s because the Mayans never predicted apocalypse. The only people to claim the Mayans

而這就是因為馬雅人從來都沒有預測過會有大災難發生，只有那些宣稱世界末日是馬雅人才

knew about the end of the world were distinctly not Mayans.

知道的人，很明顯他們又不是馬雅人。