RADIO OVER THERE IS ETHAN HAWKE, I ALWAYS LIKE WHEN YOU DOM ON

那邊的收音機是Ethan Hawke，我總是喜歡你的節目。

THE SHOW, ARE YOU BOTH AN ACTOR AND A MOVIE STAR WHO SHARES OF

節目中，你既是演員又是電影明星，你是誰？

HIMSELF IN INTIMATE WAYS THAT NOT EVERYBODY IS WILLING TO DO

不是每個人都願意以親密的方式來對待自己。

WHEN THEY'RE ON PANEL. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE SHARING

當他們在小組中。你是否願意分享

YOURSELF WITH THE PUBLIC? >> IT IS EASIER SSES JUST TO BE

自己與公眾的關係？>>這是更容易的，因為它只是

HONEST? >> JUST TO TELL THE TRUTH AND

誠實？>>只是說實話和

LET'S JUST GO WITH IT. >> Stephen: ONE OF THE THINGS

我們就隨它去吧。>> 斯蒂芬：其中一件事

I SUSPECT-- RESPECT ABOUT YOU. FOR AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE DONE

我懷疑--對你的尊重。因為你做了那麼多

THAT, FOR AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE DONE, THAT WE NEVER TALKED FOR

你做了那麼多事，我們卻從來沒有交談過。

MORE THAN SAY 12 TO 15 MINUTES AT A POP AND ST HARD FOR ME TO

我很難在12至15分鐘內完成。

TROWLY PLOM THE DEPTHS OF ANYONE, EVEN SOMEONE AS GOOD AS

在任何一個人的內心深處，即使是像他這樣優秀的人，也會被深深地打動。

MI. >> ARE YOU SMARTS.

米。>>是你的聰明才智。

>> Stephen: PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF COMEDY AT ANY LEVEL, PUT MY

>> 斯蒂芬：在任何級別的喜劇中都能找到深層的內容，把我的

DIP STICK IN AND SEE HOW MUCH OIL.

將油尺插入，看看有多少油。

>> I'M GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE. >> Stephen: THAT IS WHAT I

>> 我越來越不舒服了。>> 斯蒂芬：這就是我

MEAN, SHARING OF YOURSELF, THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

意思是說，分享自己，那是不舒服的。

HERE IS THE THING, YOU CAN SAY NO IF YOU WANT TO WE HERE AT

事情是這樣的，你可以說不，如果你想，我們在這裡的

LATE SHOW LABS HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING CALLED THE COLBERT

晚間節目的實驗室已經想出了一個叫做 "科爾伯特 "的東西。

QUESTIONERT. ST A SERIES OF QUESTIONS THAT

QUESTIONERT.st一系列的問題，這些問題

HAVE BEEN CALIBRATED TO AEROSPACE TOLERANCES TO

已經按照航空航天的公差進行了校準，以便

PENETRATE THE ARMOR AND THE PROTECTIVE PSYCHIC SHELL THAT

穿透盔甲和保護性的精神外殼，這就是

PEOPLE KEEP AROUND THEMSELVES SO THEY WILL NOT BE KNOWN.

人們為了不被人知道而把自己圍起來。

IT IS A TRUTH-SEEKING MISSILE THAT FINDS OUT THE TRUE HEART OF

它是一種尋求真理的飛彈，可以發現真正的心臟。

SOMEONE. ARE YOU WILLING RIGHT NOW IN

某人。你現在是否願意在

FRONT OF AMERICA, GOD AND EVERYTHING TO TAKE THE COLBERT

在美國的面前，上帝和一切都採取了科爾伯特

QUESTIONERT? >> YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK MY

QUESTIONERT?>> 你要打破我的

MASK. >> Stephen: LET'S SEE.

MASK。>> 斯蒂芬：讓我們看看。

>> I'M READY, WILLING AND ABLE. >> Stephen: BRAVE MAN, BRAVE

>> 我已經準備好了，願意並且能夠。>> 斯蒂芬：勇敢的人，勇敢的

MAN. ETHAN HAWKE, THIS IS THE COLBERT

人。伊桑-霍克，這裡是科爾伯特節目

QUESTIONERT, HERE WE GO, FIRST QUESTION.

questionert，我們來了，第一個問題。

WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH? >> THE BEST-- GRANDMA BETTY MADE

什麼是最好的三明治？>>最好的--貝蒂奶奶做的

A MEAN PB & J. >> Stephen: KEEP IT SIMPLE.

A MEAN PB & J. >> 斯蒂芬：KEEP IT SIMPLE。

NOW OKAY. SO ARE WE TALKING SMOOTHER

現在好了。那麼，我們是否在談論更順暢的

CRUNCHY. >> I WANT SMOOTH BUT I USE GOT

CRUNCHY.>> 我想光滑，但我用的是

CRUNCHY. >> Stephen: GRAD MA WAS

CRUNCHY.>> 斯蒂芬: GRAD MA WAS

RADICAL, WHAT KIND OF JELLY, GRAPES STRAWBERRY.

激進的，什麼樣的果凍，葡萄草莓的。

>> STRAWBERRY. MY MOM GAVE ME THE HEALTHY

>> 草莓。我媽媽給我的健康

PEANUT BUTTER, THE KIND YOU STIR.

花生醬，你攪拌的那種。

BUT GRAND MA WOULD GET THE GOOD STUFF.

但奶奶會得到好東西。

>> Stephen: WHAT IS ONE THING YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY

>> 斯蒂芬：你所擁有的一件東西，你真正應該做的是什麼？

THROW OUT? >> ONE THING I OWN THAT I-- 97%

扔掉？>> 我擁有的一件東西，我 -- 97%

OF THE CLOTHES THAT I OWN, 97% OF THE CLOTHES I OWN I BOUGHT IN

我所擁有的衣服中，有97%的衣服是在中國購買的。

1-9D 92. LIKE THIS SUIT IS NOT MINE,

1-9D 92.像這套衣服不是我的。

OKAY. I LIKE IT AND I WISH IT WERE

好了。我喜歡它，我希望它是

MINE BUT I JUST KEEP WEARING CLOTHES FROM THE 90 ITSEE LIKE

我的，但我只是一直穿著90年代的衣服。

I'M STUCK IN FOR MALD HIDE,. >> Stephen: HEUER WHAT IS THE

我被卡在了馬爾德藏身處，。>> 斯蒂芬: HEUER是什麼？

SCARIEST ANIMAL? >> DO INSIGNATURES COUNT.

最可怕的動物？>> 侮辱性的東西也算。

>> Stephen: YES. >> A TICK, I HATE TICKS.

>> 斯蒂芬：是的。>> 蝨子，我討厭蝨子。

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE FOUND A TICK ON YOURSELF LATELY?

>> 斯蒂芬：你最近在自己身上發現了一個蝨子？

>> I FEEL LIKE THAT WILL MAKE ME UNRAVE IF I ANSWER AND PEOPLE

>> 我覺得，如果我回答了，人們就會讓我崩潰。

WON'T LIKE ME. YES.

不喜歡我。是的。

>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE.

>> 斯蒂芬：這聽起來像是你有的。

>> YES, I HAVE, I FOUND ONE ON MY STOMACH AND ON MY UNDERARM.

>> 是的，我有，我在我的肚子上和腋下發現一個。

>> Stephen: YES CONDITIONS IT FREAKS ME OUT, I DON'T LIKE

>> 斯蒂芬：是的，條件讓我害怕，我不喜歡。

TICKS. >> Stephen: NO, WHO DOES.

TICKS.>> 斯蒂芬：不，誰做的。

>> BUT I'M OKAY. I'M GOING TO BE OKAY.

>>但我沒事。我將會好起來的。

>> Stephen: OKAY. YOU GOT TO FES.

>> 斯蒂芬：好吧。你得去FES。

>> I PUT THE SUCKER IN TAPE, YOU PUT IT ON TAPE SO IF IT STARTS

>> 我把這個傻瓜放在錄音帶上，你把它放在錄音帶上，這樣如果它開始

TO RING UP OR GET WEIRD YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE DOCTOR AND THEY

你可以帶著它去找醫生，他們會給你一個驚喜。

CAN TELL YOU HOW POISON US OR RANCID IT IS, I HATE TICKS.

可以告訴你它有多毒或多餿，我討厭蝨子。

>> Stephen: GLAD TO KNOW, THIS IS INFORMATIVE.

>> 斯蒂芬：很高興知道，這很有參考價值。

>> SEE. >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?

>> 看到了。>> 斯蒂芬：蘋果還是橘子？

>> APPLES OR ORANGES. I LIKE APPLE PIE SO GOT TO GO

>> 蘋果或橘子。我喜歡蘋果派，所以我得走了

WITH APPLES. >> Stephen: WELL DONE.

有蘋果。>> 斯蒂芬：做得很好。

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR AUTO GRAPH.

你有沒有問過別人的汽車圖。

>> YEAH. >> Stephen: WHO?

>> 是的。>> 斯蒂芬：誰？

>> I ASKED KRIS KRISTOFFERSON. >> Stephen: WOW.

>> 我問克瑞斯-克瑞斯托弗森。>> 斯蒂芬：哇哦。

AND DID YOU GET IT? >> I GOT IT.

你得到它了嗎？>> 我拿到了。

I HAD, AN OLD LP OF SILVER TONGUE DEVIL AND HE WROTE TO

我有一張銀舌魔鬼的舊唱片，他給我寫信說

ETHAN, RESPECT, KRIS. AND I GOT IT FRAMED ON MY WALL.

Ethan, respect, kris.我把它裱在了牆上。

>> Stephen: WOW. RHODES SCHOLAR.

>> 斯蒂芬：哇哦。羅德學者。

>> RHODES SCHOLAR. >> Stephen: ETHAN HAWKE WHAT

>> 羅德學者。>> 斯蒂芬：艾森-霍克是什麼？

DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?

你認為我們死後會發生什麼？

>> YOU READY? I DON'T THINK WE DIE.

>> 你準備好了嗎？我不認為我們會死。

I DON'T THINK THAT WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE DIVINE

我不認為我們對神明有什麼瞭解

CONCEPT OF TIME. I DON'T STHI WE'RE ANY MORE

時間的概念。我不知道我們還在不在了

CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING A CLOCK THAN A DOG.

能夠理解時鐘的人比狗多。

AND I THINK SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER IS GOING ON THAN WE ARE

我認為發生的事情比我們要大得多。

AWARE OF IN OUR DAY TO DAY ROUTINE.

在我們的日常工作中注意到。

I DON'T THINK HAVE I THE INTELLIGENCE OR THE DNA MAKEUP

我不認為我有這樣的智力或基因構成

TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. >> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION

來回答這個問題。>> 斯蒂芬。最喜歡的行動

MOVIE. >> DIEHARD.

電影。>> DIEHARD.

>> Stephen: DIEHARD. >> Stephen: WHILE I GOT YOU,

>> 史蒂芬：《死神》。>> 斯蒂芬：在我得到你的時候。

WHILE I GOT YOU ON THE DIEHARD, IS DIEHARD A CHRISTMAS MOVIE?

當我在Diehard上得到了你，Diehard是一部聖誕電影嗎？

>> YES, SURE, YES, YES, BEST ONE.

>>是的，當然，是的，是的，最好的一個。

>> Stephen: LEGALLY HAVE I TO FOLLOW UP WITH THAT ONE.

>> 斯蒂芬：從法律上講，我有必要跟進這個問題。

>> I MEAN DIEHARD, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST SO PERFECT IT IS JUST

>> 我的意思是死忠，你知道，它只是如此完美，它是隻是

A GREAT FILM. >> Stephen: WINDOW OR AISLE.

一部偉大的電影。>> 斯蒂芬：窗子或過道。

>> I'M A NAPPER SO I NEED TO BE BY THE WINDOW.

>> 我是個午睡者，所以我需要在窗邊。

>> Stephen: OKAY. DOES THIS OR YOU DON'T WANT

>> 斯蒂芬：好的。是這樣還是你不想要

PEOPLE TO GET UP TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

人們起身去洗手間。

>> NO, THAT DOESN'T BOTHER ME, LITERALLY SINCE I WAS A KID, ME

>> 不，這並不妨礙我，從字面上看，我還是個孩子。

PUT ME IN A CAR, I FALL ASLEEP, PUT ME IN THE PLANE, I FALL

把我放在汽車裡，我就睡著了，把我放在飛機上，我就睡著了。

ASLEEP. AND IF I AM IN THE AISLE, THEY

睡覺。如果我在過道上，他們就會

MY HEAD, THEY KICK MY LEG, SIR, PUT YOUR LEG BACK N I'M SLEEPING

我的頭，他們踢我的腿，先生，把你的腿放回去，我在睡覺。

AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND DID I JUST REVEAL TOO MUCH.

他們不明白我是不是透露得太多了。

>> Stephen: NO, JUST ENOUGH. FAVORITE SMELL.

>> 斯蒂芬：不，剛好夠。最喜歡的氣味。

>> MY WIFE. THAT MAKES IT SOUND CORNY BUT

>> 我的妻子。這聽起來很老套，但

YOU KNOW THAT IS MY FAVORITE SMELL.

你知道那是我最喜歡的味道。

>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE SMELL.

>> 斯蒂芬：最不喜歡的氣味。

>> MYSELF. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A

>> 我自己。>> 斯蒂芬：我們必須採取一個

QUICK BREAK BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. ETHAN HAWKE,

快速休息，但我們馬上回來，有更多的先生。ETHAN HAWKE,

EVERYBODY. STICK AROUND.

每個人都是如此。粘在一起。