then there are inner expectations, like our own desire to keep a New Year’s resolution,

然後是內心的期望，比如我們自己希望保持新年的決議。

our own desire to get back into practising guitar.

我們自己想要重新開始練習吉他的願望。

So, depending on how you respond to expectations, you are an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger,

是以，根據你對期望的反應，你是一個擁護者，一個質疑者，一個服從者。

or a Rebel.

或反叛者。

Upholders readily meet outer and inner expectations – they keep to the work deadline, they keep

擁護者很容易滿足外部和內部的期望--他們遵守工作期限，他們保持

the New Year’s resolution without much fuss.

新年的決議，沒有太多的大驚小怪。

Questioners question all expectations. They’ll do it if they think it makes sense.

質疑者質疑所有的期望。如果他們認為有意義，他們就會這麼做。

Obligers readily meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations

義務人很容易滿足外在的期望，但卻很難滿足內在的期望

Then finally, Rebels. Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike - they want to do what

最後，反叛者。叛逆者抵制所有的期望，包括外部和內部的期望--他們想做的是

they want to do in their own way, in their own time.

他們想以自己的方式，在自己的時間內完成。

So what do you do with this information – how can it help you manage yourself better, and

那麼，你該如何利用這些資訊--它如何幫助你更好地管理自己，以及

how can it help you deal better with other people?

它如何幫助你更好地與其他人打交道？

Each of the tendencies has many mottos, and my favourite motto for Upholders is “discipline

每種傾向都有許多座右銘，而我最喜歡的擁護者座右銘是 "紀律

is my freedom”. And there’s a lot of great things about Upholders – they’re self-reliant,

是我的自由"。而且Upholders有很多偉大的地方--他們是自力更生的。

they’re self-starters, they’re very good at executing, they want to meet expectations

他們是自發的，他們非常善於執行，他們希望達到預期目標

– but as with all the tendencies, the upsides are also the downsides. And upholders can

- 但與所有的趨勢一樣，優點也是缺點。而擁護者可以

be rigid, so you want to make sure if you’re dealing with an Upholder, they’re not turning

是僵硬的，所以你要確保如果你在處理一個擁護者，他們不會把

into the mindless bureaucrat of doing their own paperwork endlessly.

變成無意識的官僚，無休止地做自己的文書工作。

Next, Questioners – and the motto of the Questioner is: “if you’ll convince me

接下來，提問者--提問者的座右銘是："如果你能說服我

why; then I’ll comply. They’re always looking at how to make processes better, they

為什麼；然後我就會遵守。他們總是在研究如何使流程變得更好，他們

tend to love information, they’re really great for all of us because they are the ones

傾向於喜歡資訊，他們對我們所有人來說真的很好，因為他們是那些

that are saying – why are we doing this by Friday? Why are we doing this report? Why

他們說--為什麼我們要在星期五之前做這個？我們為什麼要做這個報告？為什麼

are we listening to you? Why are we doing this at all?

我們在聽你說話嗎？我們為什麼要這樣做呢？

But the upsides are the downsides, and Questioners sometimes drain and overwhelm others with

但好處是壞處，提問者有時會耗盡和壓倒其他人，因為

their constant questioning.

他們不斷地詢問。

So, what do you if you’re a Questioner – or you’re dealing with a Questioner who is

那麼，如果你是一個提問者--或者你正在與一個提問者打交道，你會怎麼做？

stuck in analysis paralysis? One is to use deadlines. Another is limits – ‘we can

陷入分析癱瘓？一個是使用最後期限。另一個是限制--"我們可以

interview 5 people for this position, but we’re not going to interview 15’. Or you

這個職位要面試5個人，但我們不打算面試15個人'。或者你

find a trusted authority – if you want to buy a new great bicycle, you can spend the

找到一個值得信賴的權威機構 - 如果你想買一輛新的偉大的自行車，你可以花

rest of your life trying to figure out what is the best bicycle, or you just go to a really

你的餘生都在試圖弄清楚什麼是最好的自行車，或者你只是去了一個真正的

great bike shop - ‘the people who work here know a lot about bikes, I can be very guided

偉大的自行車店--"在這裡工作的人對自行車非常瞭解，我可以得到非常多的指導。

by their judgment.’

'通過他們的判斷。

So next Obligers – Obligers are the rock of the world – they are the type O, they

是以，接下來的Obligers--Obligers是世界的岩石--他們是O型人，他們

are the type that pairs up most easily with other tendencies. Really the frustration of

是最容易與其他傾向配對的類型。真正讓人沮喪的是

being an Obliger falls most on Obligers themselves, which is reflected in their motto which is

作為一名義務兵，最重要的是義務兵自己，這反映在他們的座右銘上，即

“you can count on me – and I’m counting on you to count on me”.

"你可以指望我--我也指望你能指望我"。

What’s the cure for this? If you want to meet an inner expectation, you must create

有什麼辦法可以解決這個問題？如果你想滿足內心的期望，你必須創造

systems of outer accountability around that inner expectation. You want to read more – join

圍繞著這一內在期望的外部責任系統。你想閱讀更多 - 加入

a book group.

一個圖書小組。

Finally, Rebels. Their motto is “you can’t make me – and neither can I”. It can be

最後，反叛者。他們的座右銘是 "你不能強迫我--我也不能"。它可以是

challenging working or living with somebody, where every time you ask them or tell them

與某人一起工作或生活時具有挑戰性，每次你問他們或告訴他們

to do something – they’re very likely to resist.

來做一些事情--他們很可能會抵制。

So how do you help a Rebel – or help yourself as a Rebel?

那麼，你如何幫助反叛者--或幫助自己成為反叛者？

So let’s say you have a Rebel colleague who is refusing to go to a mandatory Wednesday

是以，假設你有一個叛逆的同事，他拒絕去參加一個強制性的星期三

morning meeting.

上午的會議。

You could say to the Rebel something like, “so I don’t know if you know we have these

你可以對反叛者說，"所以我不知道你是否知道我們有這些

Wednesday 10 am meetings? It’s like -everybody who’s at the meeting, we think about all

週三上午10點的會議？這就像--每個參加會議的人，我們都在思考所有的問題。

the projects coming up in the next several weeks, and then everybody in the meeting,

在未來幾周的項目，然後在會議上的每個人。

we take the interesting ones, and then we leave the dregs for the people who aren’t

我們把有趣的東西拿走，然後把渣滓留給那些不喜歡的人。

at the meeting.

在會議上。

So, yeah, the meeting is at 10am on Wednesday.”

所以，是的，會議是在星期三上午10點。"

Information...Consequences... Choice...

資訊...後果...。選擇......

It’s up to you.

這取決於你。

I really do think this can help you show compassion for yourself – because there’s nothing

我真的認為這可以幫助你對自己表示同情 - 因為沒有什麼

wrong with you! You’re not lazy, you don’t lack willpower. It’s totally predictable

你有什麼問題嗎？你不是懶惰，你不缺乏意志力。這完全是可以預測的

that something that’s easy for someone else might be challenging for you. There’s plenty

對別人來說很容易的事情，對你來說可能是個挑戰。有很多

of ways to work around that.

的方法來解決這個問題。

And it can also allow us to show more compassion to other people.

而且它還可以讓我們對其他人表現出更多的同情心。

Because when we understand other people, then it’s not a matter of - one person’s right

因為當我們理解他人時，就不是一個人的權利問題了。

and one person’s wrong, it’s just, how do we both – or all of us - get where we

和一個人的錯誤，它只是，我們兩個人--或者我們所有人--如何達到我們的目的？

want to go?

想去嗎？