Melissa, it's late. What are you still doing up?

Melissa，已經很晚了。你還在做什麼？

Scrolling through filters and editing this photo.

找濾鏡和修照片。

It's my responsibility to cultivate the perception people will have of me.

我有責任培養人們對我的看法。

Often things that are out of our control...

事情很多時候是我們無法控制的...

But he's destructive and addicted to chaos and doesn't take accountability.

但他對人造成有害的影像，而且他和沈迷造成混亂且不承擔責任。

But I can fix him.

但我可以修好他。

It's my responsibility as a woman to rehabilitate a damaged man.

作為一個女人，修好一個壞掉的男人是我的責任。

Even things that don't involve us.

甚至是與我們無關的事情。

Want another drink?

想再喝一杯嗎？

Sure.

當然。

Oh no, you don't.

哦，不，你不想。

You are currently at 0.7 alcohol blood content level that will send you over the legal limit to 0.8.

你目前的血液酒精含量為 0.7，喝下這杯會讓你超過法定的酒精濃度，0.8。

I'm taking an Uber home.

我會坐 Uber 回家。

Do you want to die?

你想死嗎？

The actions of my loved ones are my responsibility.

我所愛的人的行為是我的責任。

Shame on you.

你真可恥。

When I think about the prime messages that have permeated our brains through the media, social obligations and cultural pressures,

當我想到通過媒體、社會義務和文化壓力滲透到我們大腦中的主要信息時，

I think of three distinct things that we are not responsible for.

我想到了我們不應該為其負責的三件截然不同的事情。

One: You're not responsible for anyone else's happiness, but you are responsible for your own.

第一，你不需要為別人的幸福負責，但要對自己的負責。

We get the wrong idea that everyone's experience of us has to be pleasent.

我們錯誤地認為每個人對於我們的經驗都必須是愉快的。

That as friends, we always have to be positive; that as romantic partners, we're responsible for our partner's mood and well-being.

作為朋友，我們總是要積極向上； 作為伴侶，我們要為對方的心情和幸福負責。

But the truth is everyone's shit is on their side of the street.

但事實是，個人造業個人擔。

Yes, we can be a source of comfort and a sounding board and sympathize with others, but everyone is ultimately responsible for their own happiness.

沒錯，我們可以成為安慰的源泉和共鳴並同情他人，但每個人最終都要為自己的幸福負責。

Except for Michelle, Michelle is responsible for mine.

除了 Michelle，她要負責我的幸福。

Michelle, can you make me a coffee?

Michelle，你能幫我泡杯咖啡嗎？

Michelle, can you bring me a charger?

Michelle，你能幫我拿個充電器嗎？

Michelle, can you order me food?

Michelle，你能幫我叫個餐嗎？

Two: You're not responsible for anyone's reaction to your boundaries, but you are responsible for setting and enforcing them.

第二，人們怎麼對你設立的界線反應不需要你來負責，但你有責任設立和執行這些界線。

Fair warning here, people who don't benefit from your boundaries are going to get angry when you actually set them.

在此警告，因為你設立的界線讓他們無法從中受益的人會在你真的設立界線時對你生氣。

For any of you who struggle with this kind of work, expect pushback when you finally set and enforce any kind of boundary.

對於任何在這種努力中苦苦掙扎的人來說，當你最終設立並執行任何類型的界線時，都會遇到阻力。

Michelle, can you reach my phone?

Michelle，你能幫我拿我的手機嗎？

Your hand is right next to it, you can literally reach it yourself.

你的手就在它旁邊，你自己就拿得到了。

You're so unkind right now.

你現在好不友善。

You're perfectly capable of getting that phone yourself, Anna.

你完全有辦法自己去拿你的手機，Anna。

No, I'm not, Michelle. After everything I've done for you, can't you just reach right there and get me my phone?

不，我沒辦法，Michelle。在我為你做了這麼多事之後，你就不能伸手把我的手機拿過來嗎？

Okay, I'm busy right now and so I can't do this. I'm gonna set a boundary, I'm not gonna do this stuff for you anymore.

我現在很忙，我沒辦法幫你這樣胡搞瞎搞。我要設立界線，我不會再為你做這些事了。

Wow! Are we even friends?

哇！我們是朋友嗎？

I'll get it myself.

我自己去拿。

Michelle!

米歇爾！

I can't reach it!

我拿不到！

Michelle, help me!

Michelle，幫幫我！

Michelle , I can't get it!

Michelle，我拿不到！

And finally three: You are not responsible your trauma, but you are responsible for your healing.

最後，第三，你不需要對你的創傷負責，但你要對你的治療負責。

We all have stories we tell ourselves about our lives, about what kind of people we are, about what kinds of things happened to us,

我們都有故事，關於我們的生活、關於我們是什麼樣的人、關於我們發生了什麼樣的事情，

and it's up to you to figure out which of these narratives are not serving to create the life you wanna lead.

你要弄清楚這些故事中哪些不能幫助你創造你想要的生活 .

Yes, we are all most likely suffering from intense trauma, after all, you are here on this channel,

是的，我們很可能都遭受了強烈的創傷，畢竟你會出現在這個頻道裡就略知一二了，

but it is up to us to heal ourselves from it, to let it go and to not let it hold us back.

但我們有責任從中治愈自己，讓它過去，不要讓它阻礙我們。

I'm Anna Akana and thank you to the patreons who supported today's video.

我是 Anna Akana，感謝支持今天影片的讚助人。

And thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode.

也謝謝 Squarespace 贊助今天的節目。