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  • At this point, we all know that being liked is an evolutionary urge, embedded in our DNA to keep us safe in numbers.

    我們都知道,想被人喜歡是一種演化而來的渴望,刻在我們的 DNA 中,以利群體保護我們安全。

  • - What do you mean you don't like me?

    - 你說你不喜歡我是什麼意思?

  • - You can't survive with us anymore.

    - 你不能跟我們一起生存了。

  • - Find a new cave.

    - 找個新山洞吧。

  • - I put so much freaking work into this cave! I just finished the west wall!

    - 我為這個山洞付出了這多!我剛剛才畫完西牆!

  • - Yeah, we're washing that off the moment you leave.

    - 你一離開,我們就把它洗掉。

  • - Which is now.

    - 也就是現在。

  • - You guys can't kick me out.

    - 你們不能把我踢出去。

  • Mr. Snuggles is clearly grumpy and hungry, he's gonna try to take a bite out of me.

    抱抱先生現在明顯又餓又,他會咬我的。

  • - Hmm, that sounds like a you problem. - Pack your rock and bones and go.

    - 嗯,那是你的問題。- 收拾好你的石頭和骨頭就走。

  • - Fine, I don't wanna live with a couple of Homo erectuses anyway.

    - 隨便,反正我也不想跟直立人住一起。

  • - You know we're Neanderthals!

    - 我們是尼安德塔人!

  • - Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

    - 你們就繼續自我催眠吧。

  • - So rude. - Hopefully, she'll die.

    - 沒禮貌。- 希望她死掉。

  • Humanity has so many things that we've developed over millions of years that are now useless,

    - 人類有很多經過數百萬年的發展,現在已經沒用的東西。

  • what are known as evolutionary leftovers:

    也就是所謂的進化遺留物。

  • the appendix, the tailbone, wisdom teeth, muscle fibers that produce goosebumps, our inner voice.

    闌尾、尾骨、智齒、產生雞皮疙瘩的肌肉纖維、我們的心聲。

  • We developed an inner voice so that we could analyze the past and prepare for the future,

    我們發展出了一種內在的聲音,以便分析過去,並為未來做好準備。

  • but in contemporary times, this incessant chatter, this introspection, this consciousness is a huge source of suffering.

    但在當代,這種不間斷的喋喋不休、檢討、這種意識是巨大的痛苦來源。

  • - Wow, my thoughts have been really negative lately.

    - 哇,我的想法最近真的很消極誒。

  • Does that mean I'm negative?

    這代表我很消極嗎?

  • Well, if I think the thoughts are negative, does that mean I'm actually against negativity?

    還是,如果我認為這些想法是消極的,這代表我其實沒有消極?

  • If I reject them on the basis that they're negative, that's a positive, right?

    那如果我從根本否定它們是負面的,那它們就是積極因素,對吧?

  • I wonder why pirates drew red X's on their treasure maps instead of like writing down longitude and latitude. That's stupid.

    為什麼海盜要在藏寶圖上畫紅色 X,而不是寫下經緯度,真蠢。

  • But the most useless evolutionary leftover is caring what other people think about us.

    但最無用的進化遺留是其實是在乎其他人對我們的看法。

  • Because we've long been out of survival mode where we need to be surrounded by large numbers of people to ensure that Mr. Snuggles didn't eat us.

    因為我們早已經脫離了生存模式,我們不再需要被很多人包圍來確保抱抱先生不會吃掉我們。

  • We've structured a completely new social paradigm.

    我們已經構建了一個全新的社會範式。

  • One where we're at the top of the food chain, and we mostly live in isolation and small tribes of our chosen people.

    一個我們處於食物鏈頂端的模式,而我們大多生活在孤立的小群落裡,與我們所選擇的人一起。

  • Needing to be liked is a useless leftover evolutionary drive that still exists, but we've taken it from a life or death necessity to a myopic desire to validate our own existence as meaningful.

    被喜歡的需要是一種無用的演化殘留衝動,它仍然存在,但它已從生死攸關的必要條件,轉化成了確認我們自己的存在是有意義的渴望。

  • I mean, why do you think every social media engagement button deals in likes and hearts?

    不然你以為為什麼每個社交媒體的按鈕不是喜歡就是愛心?

  • It not only validates, like we're not gonna die cause we're liked, but that we're important, we matter.

    被喜歡不僅證明了我們不會死,也表示我們很重要。

  • And we can rank that importance very tangibly in the intangible digital world.

    而我們可以在無形的數字世界中,對這種重要性進行非常具體的排序。

  • So, how do we stop caring about what others think about us in a time when we've conflated the opinions of others to be a measure of our worthiness to exist, or a reflection of what kind of person we are?

    那麼,在這個我們把別人意見與衡量自我價值標準混為一談、認為別人想法能反映自己為人的時代,怎樣才能不再關心別人對我們的看法呢?

  • We see being liked as the very acceptance of us.

    我們把被人喜歡看作是對我們存在的接受。

  • And if someone doesn't like or accept us, that feels Bad with a capital B.

    而如果有人不喜歡或不接受我們,我們就感覺糟糕無比。

  • Even if we don't really like them.

    即使我們並不真正喜歡他們。

  • Well, here is the big, bad secret:

    現在告訴你一個大祕密。

  • most people are projecting.

    大多數人都是在投射。

  • So don't take anything personally.

    所以不要把所有事情都放在心上。

  • Yes, most people are projecting.

    沒錯,大多數人都在投射。

  • And when I think back on all the times I didn't really like someone, I was mostly projecting.

    我回想以前我不喜歡某人的時候,主要都是因為我投射到自己身上了。

  • You know, obviously if someone's like abusive or unkind, this does not apply.

    當然,如果那個人有暴力傾向或不友善,這並不適用。

  • But for the most part, people I disliked, I either recognized a trait in them that I disliked in myself...

    但大多數情況,我會不喜歡一個人,要麼是我看到他們身上我自己有且不喜歡的特點...

  • I don't know, Michelle is just too direct. She doesn't put anything in a compliment sandwich.

    Michelle 實在是太直接了,她完全不修飾要說的話。

  • - Yeah, but I think she's just straight-forward and opinionated.

    - 是沒錯,但我想她只是比較直接、有主見吧。

  • - Totally.

    - 沒錯。

  • Anyway, never wear this shirt again 'cause it looks fugly on you.

    題外話,不要再穿這件襯衫了,你穿起來很醜。

  • Or I was envious of a trait they had that I wanted.

    又或者我很羨慕他們身上的特質。

  • Wow, you're so fashionable!

    哇,你好時尚!

  • - Thank you.

    - 謝謝。

  • - You really like taking a lot of risks in your wardrobe.

    - 你穿衣服真的很大膽誒。

  • - I just love expressing myself this way.

    - 我只是喜歡用這種方式來表達自己。

  • - Mm-hm, bitch.

    - 是喔,X人。

  • And you know, when I really think about the people I've come across in the last few years who haven't liked me, I can honestly say they were projecting.

    當我仔細思考過去幾年裡那些不喜歡我的人,我可以誠實地說,他們是在投射。

  • - Yeah, I don't like you because you overshare online.

    - 我不喜歡你,因為你在網上過度分享。

  • - Well, that's because you desperately want to put yourself out there, but you're terrified.

    - 嗯,那是因為你拼命地想表露自己的真心,但你很害怕。

  • - I don't like you because you have too many feelings.

    - 我不喜歡你是因為你太情緒化了。

  • - You also have a ton of feelings. You just see sensitivity as a weakness.

    - 你也有一大堆的感受,你只是把敏感多情看作是弱點。

  • Try it.

    試試吧。

  • Think of someone you've disliked or who has disliked you, and you can pinpoint the projection.

    想想你不喜歡的人或不喜歡你的人,你可以準確地找到投射點。

  • The classic example of this is like when you have a partner who's very suspicious that you're cheating, when in actuality, they're the cheater.

    這方面的典型例子是:你有個懷疑你出軌的伴侶,但實際上,他才是出軌的那個人。

  • You know I've been processing this concept for a while now in therapy and in my regular life, and it's been incredibly helpful in not taking anyone's dislike of me personally.

    我已經思考這個概念一段時間了,無論是在心裡治療還是日常生活中。而不把任何人對我的不喜歡放在心上真的大有幫助。

  • And whenever I feel that for someone else coming up, it's a useful way to identify, well, what is going on to spur that?

    每當我不喜歡別人時,這是一種很有用的辨識方法,可以找出是什麼刺激了你?

  • Usually with me, it is... it's envy, I'm not gonna lie.

    我的情況,老實說通常是嫉妒。

  • And once I realize what I'm envious about, I can embody the trait that I want.

    而一旦我意識到我所羨慕的是什麼,我可以收下這些特質。

  • No one's actually stopping me from doing that except for myself.

    實際上沒有人會阻止我這麼做,除了我自己。

  • I'm Anna Akana, and thank you to the Patreons who supported today's video.

    我是 Anna Akana,感謝支持今天視頻的贊助人。

  • And thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today's episode.

    感謝 BetterHelp 贊助了今天的節目。

  • BetterHelp's mission is to provide anyone facing life's challenges with easy, discreet, professional, convenient, and affordable access to professional counseling from a licensed therapist.

    BetterHelp 的使命是為任何面臨以下問題的人提供幫助以輕鬆、謹慎、專業的方式應對生活中的挑戰,提供便利、負擔得起的專業諮商。

  • After filling out a brief questionnaire about your history and what you'd like to work on, you are matched with a therapist.

    填寫一份簡短的調查問卷,了解你的過去及想解決的問題後, 網站會匹配一位治療師給你。

  • All 11,000+ counselors on BetterHelp, with zero exceptions, are licensed, trained, experienced, and accredited psychologists, marriage and family therapists, clinical social workers, or licensed professional counselors.

    BetterHelp 上有 11,000 多名諮詢師。零例外,都是持證上崗,訓練有素,經驗豐富、受認可的心理學家、婚姻及家庭治療師、臨床社會工作者或有執照的專業諮詢人員。

  • Scheduling is super easy and flexible and you pay one low flat fee for unlimited messaging and a weekly session.

    預約超級簡單、靈活,你只需支付一筆低額的統一費用,就享無限次的訊息和每週一次的諮商。

  • You can go to betterhelp.com/akana to sign up today and get 10% off your first month.

    今天就上 betterhelp.com/akana 註冊,領取第一個月九折折扣。

  • Bingo, bango.

    快去吧!

At this point, we all know that being liked is an evolutionary urge, embedded in our DNA to keep us safe in numbers.

我們都知道,想被人喜歡是一種演化而來的渴望,刻在我們的 DNA 中,以利群體保護我們安全。

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