you probably think it's just another Irish piss-up, a few people around a coffin drinking pints of Guinness.

你可能認為這又只是愛爾蘭的鬧劇，幾個人圍在棺材旁喝著健力士啤酒。

But you would be very wrong.

但你大錯特錯了。

In my father's island off the coast of Mayo, people go to the wakes of their neighbors, they see dead bodies, they touch dead bodies, they take children to those wakes.

在我父親位於梅奧海岸外的島上，人們去鄰居家守靈，他們會看到屍體、觸摸屍體、帶著孩子去守靈。

So even an ordinary life away from the medical profession would have seen 20, 30, 50, sometimes 100 dead bodies.

因此，即使是不會接觸到醫療行業的普通人也會看過 20、30、50 甚至 100 具屍體。

My father didn't want to die.

我父親並不想死。

He was only 70. He was a very powerfully physically fit man.

他只有 70 歲，身體非常強壯健康。

But then he got pancreatic cancer, and pancreatic cancer is one of those cancers that no one ever recovers from.

但後來他得了胰腺癌，而胰腺癌是那種沒有人能夠康復的癌症。

He was quite stoic about it, and more importantly, his community accepted his fate.

他對此表現得隱忍順從，更重要的是，他身邊的人接受了他的命運。

They came to see him in the dying process.

他們來看望他的臨終過程。

The house filled with visitors. So many visitors that you actually thought the house was celebrating a wedding feast.

房子裡擠滿了客人，多到你會以為這家人正在慶祝婚宴。

I was at the foot of my father's deathbed and I looked around and there were 12 people in the room, some of whom I didn't know.

我站在父親臨終的床腳下，環顧四周，房間裡有 12 個人，其中有些人我不認識。

And at that moment, the 'Mná chaointe', the Chief Keener struck up a very familiar Catholic prayer called the five sorrowful mysteries.

就在那一刻，「Mná chaointe」，哭喪者的領頭人開始了非常熟悉的天主教祈禱儀式，稱為痛苦五端。

"Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us now and at the hour of our death."

「聖母瑪利亞為我們祈禱，現在和我們死亡的時刻。」

And then the chorus returned that other chant, "Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death."

然後合唱團接著唱：「聖母瑪利亞為我們罪人祈禱，現在和我們死亡的時刻。」

And when the chorus said that second verse, that sound grew louder and louder and louder in that room until it was almost the loudest sound I've ever heard in my life.

當副歌唱到第二段時，那個房間裡的聲音越來越大，越來越響，幾乎是我一生中聽過最響亮的聲音。

And I saw in that moment that what these people were doing, they were cradling this man into death like a lullaby.

我在那一刻看到，這些人所做的事情就像唱搖籃曲一樣哄著這個人迎接死亡。

And that this death was not a Western hospital, but a right within an Irish clan,

而且這種死亡不是發生在西方的醫院，而是在愛爾蘭的傳統下，

a way of dealing with death that was probably as old as the fall of Troy, a mechanism by which people could share their death, share this experience, learn about their own deaths.

這是一種面對死亡的方式，可能和特洛伊城的陷落一樣古老，人們可以通過這種方式分享他們的死亡，分享這種經驗，瞭解他們自己的死亡，

And also share this, normalize this within their community.

同時也跟其他人分享，讓這個傳統在他們的社群內普及。

Later the same day my father, dead father was taken.

同一天晚些時候，我去世的父親被帶走了。

He was placed in a coffin and just moved a few feet away into the front sitting room.

他被放在棺材裡，被移到幾英尺外的前廳。

And there we had a full old fashioned Irish wake where the women came - again, they're called the "Mná chaointe", keening women,

在那裡我們舉行了一個完整的傳統愛爾蘭人的守夜儀式，並且像剛剛提到的，哭喪婦女們會前來，

and they sort of controlled the stage of the wake, the emotional temperature whether they cried and keen.

他們會掌控守靈的過程，控制他們哭泣的情緒溫度。

When a new mourner came in, there was a kind of wave of emotion which used to ripple through the room.

當有新的哀悼者進來悼念時，情感的波浪就會在房間裡蕩漾。

It was a process by which you drained out emotion, where you moved onto the stages of acceptance of the death.

這是一個你耗盡情緒的過程，在這個過程中你進入了接受死亡的階段。

And then, then we waked with my father the whole night through.

然後，整個晚上我們都為父親守靈。

During this week as well, there were lots of children around, there were three-year-olds and five-year-olds playing at the feet of the coffin.

同樣在這一周裡，周遭有很多孩子，有三歲和五歲的孩子就在棺材腳下玩耍。

The house is full of people talking, feasting, being served tea and sandwiches.

屋子裡擠滿了人，他們在聊天、大快朵頤、享用茶水和三明治。

The other thing about the Irish wake is people come in great numbers to the funerals.

愛爾蘭守靈另一個特別的地方是，會有大量的人們湧入葬禮。

So my father, although he was a very ordinary man, had 300 or 400 people who came to his funeral who were also under a moral obligation to shake the hands of the principal bereaved.

像我父親，雖然他是一個非常普通的人，但有 300 或 400 人來參加他的葬禮，他們也有道義上的義務與守靈者握手。

So it wasn't just enough for them to be there in the crowd.

他們並不只是待在人群而已，

They all came up to you and shook your hands, and as they shook your hands, they started like a cliche, they say, "Sorry for your trouble."

他們都會走上前來和你握手，當他們和你握手時，他們開始像老生常談一樣，對你說：「節哀順變。」

In fact, they shake your hands so many times that the bones in your hand begin to ache.

事實上，因為他們與你握手的次數太多了，多到你的手都開始疼痛了。

This is a way of countering death denial because these individuals are shaking your hand, pressing into your flesh and they're saying - it's not just sorry for your trouble, but:

這是一種反抗否認死亡的方式，因為這些人握著你的手，壓進你的肉裡，他們的舉動不僅僅是要你節哀順變，而是在告訴你，

they're dead, they're dead, they're dead, they're dead, they're dead.

他們已經去世了。

So you, at the end of that, that existential experience, it's very hard to then think they're coming back, which again is a very normal grief reaction.

所以在這個真真實實的過程結束後，很難會認為逝去的人會回來，會這樣想是一種非常正常的悲傷反應。

I think the best way to deal with death is not to invent a new ritual or appoint another priest caste of bereavement counselors or medical professionals.

我認為對面死亡最好的方法不是發明新的儀式或任命另一個喪親輔導員或醫療專業人員的祭司。

It is to do what we've always done and that's gathered together as fellow mortals in the face of our mortality and seek to bridge that moment of bereavement and loss together.

而是要做我們從很久以前就一直在做的事情，作為凡人面對我們的死亡聚集在一起，並尋求彌合那一刻的喪親和失落。

Thanks for watching.

謝謝你的觀看。

If you enjoyed that, be sure to check out these videos next.

如果你喜歡這部影片，接下來一定要看看這些影片。

And if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button and click the bell to get a notification each time we upload a new video.

請按下訂閱，並開啟小鈴鐺，這樣我們每次上傳新影片時才會收到通知。