but fun. They give us a sense of meaning  and purpose and are a source of security,  

而且有趣。朋友給了我們人生意義與目標，並且是安穩

self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts  how happy you will be as how connected you feel  

自尊和幸福的源泉。除了與朋友的聯繫程度以外，幾乎沒有一樣事物能預測你有多開心

and a lack of social connection is associated  with a number of diseases and a shorter life.

此外，缺乏社交連結與數種疾病和較短的壽命有關聯

But maybe you have scrolled through your phone,  unsure who to call to go to a movie with,  

但可能在你滑完手機通訊錄，發覺自己不知道要找誰一起看電影

to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You  may realize that you don’t have enough  

慶祝喜事或尋求安慰時，你可能意識到自己的朋友不夠多

friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you.  Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread.

而因此感到寂寞。其實不止是你有這種感覺。社交失聯和孤單寂寞是很常見的

Many people want more close friends  but don’t know how to get them.

許多人想要結交更多親密的朋友，但是不知如何開始

Surprisingly nowadays loneliness is highest among  young people – whose relationships were also hit  

很訝異的，現代最常感到寂寞的是年輕人。他們的人際關係

especially hard by the global pandemic. Social  distancing stopped teens and young adults from  

被全球瘟疫尤其受影響。社交隔離阻止了許多青少年和年輕的成年人

mingling in classrooms, clubs or dorms. Millions  of friendships, maybe lifelong friendships,  

在課室、俱樂部或是宿舍裡與人交往。上百萬有可能成為終身的友誼

that might have blossomed will never exist. With  profound long term consequences for our collective  

因此無法發生。這也對我們的集體幸福造成了深遠的

happiness. The good news is that it is not too  late and there are lots of friends to be found.

長期影響。話雖如此，好消息是現在還不算太晚，我們還能找到很多朋友

We’ll mix scientific information  with actionable advice in this video,  

我們會在本視頻裡向各位提供科學訊息和可行的建議

but we can’t address every individual situation.  People, cultures and schedules are different.  

但我們無法解決每個具體情況，因為所涉及的人、文化和日程都不同

If you suffer from chronic loneliness you  can also watch the video we made about it.

如果你長期受寂寞所苦，你也可以查看我們的相關視頻

Ok.

好的

As with all important things in life,  making friends is infuriatingly simple but  

就如人生裡許多重要的事物一樣，結交朋友是件簡單得讓人髮指

not necessarily easy. But it works through  a few pretty straight forward mechanisms.

但又不一定容易的事情。話雖如此，它通過一些非常直截了當的機制起作用

The Most Important Thing about Making Friends

結交朋友最重要的事情

People make friends with other people  when they spend casual time together.  

人們透過與他人度過閒暇時光的方式交朋友

This is how our ancestors formed their  relationships, because humans lived in  

這也是我們祖先建立關係的方式。人類在以往

small, close knit communities in which  options for making friends were limited,  

居住於緊密結合的小社區內，由於能交到的朋友有限

so we just formed good relationships  with the people who were around us.

他們與周圍的人建立了良好的關係

This is why it is so easy to form new friendships  in school and university. Society locks you and  

這也是為什麼友誼容易在學校和大學裡產生。社會把你和同儕

your peers in a building for several years. You  share similar activities but more importantly:  

關在同一棟建築裡好幾年，讓你們分享類似的活動。更重要的是

Similar schedules. Overlapping  and fluctuating social circles  

你們有著類似的日程。重疊和波動的社交圈子

form naturally giving you regular facetime and  shared experiences with many different people.  

由此自然產生，讓你能與不同的人有規律的見面並一起經歷事物

Time to find others with similar  worldviews or senses of humor.

並因此給了你時間尋找與自身世界觀或幽默感相近的人

Proximity can be more important than similar  interests. One study found that in student  

人與人之間的所在距離可能比興趣相不相投還要重要。一項研究發現在學生

dormitories, the distance between rooms was the  strongest friendship predictor – living closer  

宿舍裡，房間之間的距離是友誼產生的最強預測器: 兩人住的越近代表

together meant a higher chance of becoming  friends. Another study showed that being  

他們越有可能變成朋友。另一項研究顯示

physically present in a class a lot, without  saying a word, makes others more sympathetic  

經常出現在課堂裡不說話的人更容易讓人

to you. So the most important principle of making  friends is to regularly spend time with people in  

同情。所以交友最重要的原則是有規律的和他人

the real world. This alone can make it happen  automatically and trumps all other advice.

在現實世界裡共度時光。單單這點就可能讓友誼自動產生，並且勝過其他所有建議

But don’t forget that making friends  is not a numbers game or a competition,  

但也別忘了，交友不是場比賽

don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone  has a social calibrator that can change as  

所以不需要與他人比較。每個人都有個隨歲月變化的

you go through life. Maybe you were  more introverted as a teen but yearn  

社會校準器。你可能在青少年時期更加內向

for connection in your twenties. Maybe you  were part of sprawling social circles but  

但在二十幾歲時渴望人際關係。又或者你可能之前是龐大社交圈的一分子

prefer fewer friends in your thirties. There  is no right or wrong, only right for you.

但在三十幾歲時選擇和較少的人做朋友。這些沒有所謂對錯，只有適不適合你

Why we don’t have enough friends

為什麼我們的朋友不夠多?

The main reason for a lack of friendships is  

許多人缺乏友誼的最大原因是

the trite fact that most people do not  prioritize friendships nearly enough.

他們不夠重視建立友誼這件老生常談的事實

They don’t realize until it is too late, that  retaining friendships demands regular energy  

很多人到為時已晚才意識到友誼需要定期的付出

and attention. Although they are so important for  happiness, friends often take a backseat to other  

和關懷才得以維持。雖然朋友對人生幸福是很重要的事情，但在其它人生選擇當前

life decisions. Work, commuting, romance or kids  take up so much time and energy that it is so much  

他們經常退居次要位置。工作、通勤、戀愛或者照顧小孩需要很多的時間與精力

easier to crash on your couch and lose yourself  in mindless activities. Especially as an adult,  

讓人很容易想在剩餘時間裡癱在沙發上做不必動腦的活動。作為一個成年人更是如此

going for a bike ride, getting dinner or visiting  a hobby store takes much more mental effort and  

許多如騎腳踏車、出去吃飯或者光顧愛好商店等活動，和學生時代相比

commitment than it did after school, when time  ran slower and energy and curiosity were abundant.

更加花費心思與承諾。因為在當學生時生活步調比較慢，而且有大量的精力與好奇心

But it is not just adults who  are too busy for friends. The  

但不止是成年人太忙無法交朋友

average American teenager spends  more time on Tik Tok every day,  

美國青少年平均每天在「抖音」上的時間

than socializing at parties, events  or on the phone with friends combined.

比參加聚會，活動或與朋友通電話的時間加起來還要多

Established friendships don't require the  same time investment as early friendships  

已經鞏固的友誼雖然不需要像早期友誼一樣投入同樣的時間

to keep up – but they do require some  commitment. As life distracts you,  

來維持，但它們仍然需要一定的付出。當生活使你分心時

it’s easy to skip out on checking in when a  friend goes through exciting or depressing times.  

我們很容易忽略了朋友所經歷的興奮和沮喪時光

And so many friendships fade for  lack of attention, often by accident.

因此許多友誼經常因為無意的忽視而黯淡

Which is extra tragic because there is never only  

這是特別悲慘的，因為失去朋友從來不是

one person losing a friend.  It’s always at least two.

一個人的事情，而一直是至少兩人或以上的事情

Another thing that makes many people vulnerable  is the way friendship networks are structured.  

另一樣讓很多人容易受傷害的事情和友誼網路的架構有關

The friendship paradox is the phenomenon that  on average, most people have fewer friends than  

友誼悖論是一種現象，即平均而言大部分人比他們的朋友擁有

their friends. Which makes sense, since you  are more likely to be friends with someone who  

更少的朋友。這個現象是合理的，因為和朋友很少的人相比

has many friends, than with someone who has few. Rather than being densely interconnected, friend  

你更有可能與有很多朋友的人成為朋友。友誼網路其實并不緊密相連

networks are often built around central hubs.  So if central people disappear from your life,  

而更常是圍繞著中心樞紐建立起來的。所以當這些位於中心樞紐的人從你的生活中消失時

this can deprive you of many connections at once.  And it can lead to a distorted self perception:  

你與多人的聯繫有可能也因此被剝奪。這會導致扭曲的自我認知

that you are less popular than others,  although you are perfectly average.

你會誤以為自己不如他人受歡迎，雖然你其實和一般人差不多

It can get worse quickly with big life  events. Maybe you moved for school,  

這個扭曲的認知可能隨著人生大事而迅速惡化。你可能因為學校

work or love and are left without  social networks. Or you had a  

工作或愛情的原因搬遷，而因此沒有任何社交連結。又或者

break up that left you with the smaller  part of the formerly shared social pie.

你與某人的分手讓你只剩下之前共享的社交圈子的一小部分

The reasons why you find yourself with less  connection than you want are as diverse as people,  

你發現自己的聯繫比你想要的少的原因和人一樣多樣化

but the underlying cause is almost always: Time.

但它們的根本原因幾乎都和時間有關

There is no shortcut. To make new friends  and retain friendships you have to prioritize  

建立友誼是沒有捷徑的。要想建立並維持友誼你必須優先考慮人際關係

relationships, spend time with people  in real life and make them feel that  

花時間與他人在現實生活裡相處，並讓他們覺得

you care. So take a look at yourself and  rebalance what you spend your life doing.

你在乎他們。所以好好的檢視一下自己，重新衡量你對人生事物的處理順序

How to make new Friends

如何結交新朋友

Studies have shown that new friendships can  develop quite quickly, weeks after you meet  

多項研究指出新的友誼只需數周就能很快的建立起來

someone. But it takes a few months for a casual  friendship to become a close relationship – with  

但是友誼要從一般轉變為親密則需要好幾個月的時間

the biggest impediment being time invested  and the quality of your interactions.

這個轉變的兩大障礙是時間投入與互動質量

To make friends it helps if you  intentionally look for people  

想結交朋友，有意尋找與你有共同點

you have things in common with and  who are open to new relationships.  

並願意建立新關係的人會有所幫助

You want to make it easy for yourself, so examine  what kind of person you are. Generally speaking,  

讓自己輕鬆一點，仔細審視自己是個什麼樣的人。一般來說

extroverts tend to crave sensory stimulation,  spicier foods, loud music, or the excitement of  

外向的人比較傾向於渴望感官上的刺激，如辛辣的食物、響亮的音樂

engaging a crowd. Introverts, often confused with  shy people, tend to be more sensitive to sensory  

參與人群的興奮感等。內向的人，經常與害羞的人混淆，往往對感官上的刺激

stimulants and prefer quieter surroundings,  fewer people and even less spicy food.

更敏感，也因此傾向於較安靜的場所、較少人的聚會、甚至較不辣的食物

Different places attract different people.  Not everybody can easily make friends at a  

不同的場所會吸引不同的人。並不是所有人都能輕易在酒吧或

bar or a football game, not everybody  finds a stroll through a park or book  

足球賽場中交到朋友。也不是所有人覺得在公園散步或者逛書店

store stimulating. Men especially form  friendships around shared activities  

是件刺激的事情。男人尤其在進行共同活動時容易建立友誼

but in general it is a good idea to  go to places that feel comfortable,  

但基本上，去讓你覺得舒適的場所是個好點子

where there are people you might like,  who do things you find interesting.

因為那裡會有趣味相投並可能讓你喜歡上的人

Look for local clubs or opportunities to  volunteer. Check out what hobby stores are  

發掘當地的俱樂部或者義工機會。到附近的愛好商店逛逛

around and dust off your Space Marines, or  see if there are new DnD groups in your city  

並展示你的太空陸戰隊戰棋，或者在你的城市裡找找新的龍與地下城群組

and ask if you could join one. Check meet  up apps for gaming nights or wine tasting,  

並詢問是否能加入他們。上手機應用查詢遊戲集會或品酒活動

join a sports club or look for people  who go hiking or want to cook together.

加入運動俱樂部或者尋找想一起健行或做菜的人

Another obvious avenue is your professional life.  

另一個可以交朋友的明顯場所是在職場上

It helps if you work in a job that attracts  people you like, so you might consider this  

如果你的職業吸引你喜歡的人，那對你交朋友會有幫助

when you choose a career. Deepening your  relationship with colleagues can lead to  

所以在選擇職業時可以考慮到這點。鞏固與同事的關係

great friendships, especially if you look  for peers and there is no power imbalance.

有可能進而發展成很棒的友誼，尤其是那些沒有權利失衡問題的同輩

And of course there are friends you’ve lost  touch with. You may be able to revive some  

你當然也有已失聯的朋友。你也許可以恢復

of these relationships. In some cases all it  needs is a call or an invitation. Research shows  

其中的一些關係。有的時候你只需要給他們打通電話或是發個邀請。研究顯示

that more often than not, the other person  will appreciate that you’ve reached out!

很多時候對方會因為你主動聯絡而覺得感激!

There are likely way more opportunities to spend  time with others than you are aware of. And if  

和他人共度時光的機會可能比你意識到的要多得多。即便不是如此

there aren’t, you can take the initiative and  create them. Invitations are signals to start  

你也可以主動製造這些機會。活動邀請是友誼開始

friendships. So bring people together by having  a dinner party, organizing a football game after  

的信號。所以你可以安排晚餐會，組織一場下班後的足球賽

work or starting a board game group. Everybody  appreciates people who organize fun things and  

或是創建一個桌遊群組把大夥兒集結起來。大家都很感激安排有趣活動的人

the simple act of reaching out can kickstart a  self propelling upward spiral of well being, fun  

主動聯絡這項簡單行為能夠啟動一個自行驅動的幸福、樂趣

and connectedness that can seriously improve the  life of everyone around you in meaningful ways.

與聯繫的上升螺旋，能夠有意義的改善你周遭每個人的生活

If you meet someone you vibe with it is pretty  scary to make the first move but they may feel  

如果你結識到一位和你有共鳴的人，主動提跟對方做朋友可能會是件可怕的事

the same way. Equally interested in a friendship  but also blocked by fear of rejection. So it is  

但他們可能也這麼認為。雙方都對友誼感興趣但又怕被拒絕受傷害。所以

worth going for it. Worst case, they are  not interested which will sting for a few  

我們應該主動。最壞的結果是對方不感興趣，並讓你覺得難受幾個小時

hours – but the best case could be a lifelong  friendship. A risk well worth the reward.

但最棒的結果有可能是場終身的友誼。我們值得冒這個險

Once you have formed early connections check  in when they have important things happening  

一旦你有了這些早期的連結點，當對方有重要事發生時記得

in their life. Of course it is important not to  be overbearing but the more time you invest, the  

和對方聯絡。重要的是不要霸道。當你投入的時間越長

more opportunity you have to engage in meaningful  banter or silly jokes. The fact that friendships  

你參與有意義的談笑或愚蠢的笑話的機會就越多。友誼需要時間培養

take time also means that you need to be patient  and kind with yourself, especially if you are out  

這點也表示你必須要有耐心，好好善待自己，太久沒練習

of practice. Things will not improve overnight  but slowly, step by step, if you keep it up.

建立友誼的話更該如此。現況不會在一夜間突然改善，但只要你持續堅持，它會漸漸地越來越好

Open Up: Care and Share

敞開心扉: 關懷與分享

Many people don’t have an  issue being around others  

很多人能毫無問題的和別人相處

but struggle to turn acquaintances into friends.

但卻很難把熟人變成朋友

So let us talk about two important principles  that make it more likely that you’ll connect:  

所以讓我們來討論讓你更有機會與人聯繫的兩個重要原則

Caring and sharing. In general, our favorite  topic is ourselves and the things we care about,  

關懷與分享。一般上說，我們最愛聊的話題是我們自己以及我們所在乎的東西

because we are literally at the center  of our own universe. So People tend to  

因為我們就在自己的宇宙的中心點。所以人們往往

like people who are genuinely interested  in them. So if you want to make friends,  

會喜歡由衷對自己感興趣的人。所以如果你想結交朋友

your goal should be trying to  learn what makes them tick.

你的目標應該是嘗試了解對方的興趣是什麼

Just as important as caring about others  is reciprocity and openness. To connect  

和關懷對方同等重要的事情是持有互惠與開放的態度。為了和對方聯繫

you need to share the experiences that made  you, you. Now you don’t want to overwhelm  

你需要分享那些塑造你個人的經歷。切記不要立刻透露

the other person and immediately spill out  your deepest secrets. But open up a little  

自己內心最深處的秘密，讓對方手足無措。不過你還是需要

and reveal personal things – because this  also signals to others that it is ok to do  

稍微敞開心扉揭露私事，因為這也跟對方示意說

the same. The best case is that you  find shared experiences – maybe you  

可以這麼做。最好的情況是你發現對方有相似的經驗

both had a hard time in school, maybe  you share a passion for weird movies.

可能你們的學生時代都很艱辛，可能你們對古怪的電影抱有同樣的熱忱

Learning about others and sharing personal  stories in a balanced way and not overdoing it,  

以平衡的方式了解對方和分享自身的故事，同時又不做得過火

is not an exact science. Noticing the  line between opening up and oversharing  

是一門藝術。你需要多練習才能察覺到敞開心扉和過度分享的

requires practice and depends  on the vibe of the conversation.

微妙差異，而且要視談話的氛圍拿捏分享分寸

One of the perplexities of  life is that to get something,  

生活中的困惑之一是當你想要某樣東西時

it can be helpful to convince yourself  that you want it less than you do.

說服自己其實並不是很想要反而有幫助

In general it is good to be laid back,  

基本上保持悠閒自在是好事

have fun and enjoy yourself. Do things  for yourself without expectations,  

玩得開心就好。為自己做事，不抱期望

but also be open to social opportunities  and accept invitations if they show up.

但同時對社交機會持開放態度，接受各種邀約

And that's basically it.

差不多就是這樣了

Give friendships more priority in your life.  Check in with friends and regularly go to  

在你的生活中給友誼更多的優先權。和朋友們聊天敘舊，並規律的參與

things to have fun. Show genuine interest  in others and give them the opportunity to  

好玩的事物。向他人表示真誠的興趣，同時在不是太賣力推銷自己的前提下

know you without selling yourself too  hard. If you do this you are on track.

給他人機會了解你自己。如果你有在做我們說的這些，你就走上了正軌

If this sounds a bit scary, the good news  is that human brains are hardwired to seek  

如果這些聽起來有點可怕，好消息是人類的大腦天生就尋求

connection. It is perfectly normal to seek out  new friends and there are many people who would  

聯繫。尋找新朋友是很正常的事情，而且有許多人樂意

welcome more close relationships. There are  friendships up for grabs everywhere and there  

接受更親密的人際關係。建立友誼的機會比比皆是

are plenty of people who will be so happy  to have YOU in their life. As a good friend.

很多人會因為有你在他們的生活中作為一個好朋友而感到無比快樂

Go get to know them!

所以出去認識他們吧！

For a short time, there is a free, community  organized, world wide Kurzgesagt meetup! If  

短時間內，在世界各地會有一個免費的、由社區組織的Kurzgesagt聚會!

you are over 18 and want to take part: go to  our temporary subreddit that our community  

如果你超過18歲並想參與的話，請到我們為你設置的

set up for you and look for your area or  city, to find a Kurzgesagt meet up near  

臨時subreddit頁面並搜尋你的區域或城市來尋找你附近的Kurzgesagt聚會

you. If there isn’t one, don’t be shy- set  it up yourself to meet like minded people.

如果沒有找到，別害羞。自己建立一個聚會來認識志同道合的人

In order to make this less intimidating,  we’ve created a small toolbox for you,  

為了讓這個過程不要太嚇人，我們已為你準備了一個小工具箱

with some guidance and ideas on what you could  do and where you could meet up, as well as  

裡頭提供了和聚會活動與地點相關的引導和點子

conversation starters. Check out the website  or subreddit for further information and tips!

以及一些聊天話題供你參考。請到這個頁面或是我們的subreddit了解詳情!

Please note that this is an experiment, it is  free and self organized by Kurzgesagt viewers  

請注意這是場實驗。這些免費的聚會是由像你這樣的Kurzgesagt觀眾自行舉辦的

like you. The subreddit will be open for  3 weeks and will be made private after.  

我們會持續開放這個subreddit頁面三個禮拜，之後會把它轉為私有頁面

We want to create more things to  make finding friends easier for you,  

我們想製作更多的東西讓你更容易結交朋友

you can also sign up so we can let you  know as soon as something is ready!

你也可以訂閱我們，以便我們在有新內容時第一時間通知你!

We want to be part of your friendship journey,  

我們想成為你的友誼結交之旅的一部分

so we’ve created a few things you  can share with new and old friends!  

所以我們製做了幾樣商品讓你和新舊朋友分享!

Two wormhole pins to connect you and your BFF  no matter where you are. If you want to share  

兩個蟲洞金屬徽章來連接你和你的閨蜜，無論你們人在何方。如果你想與

something with your entire friend group – get a  little bird pin for each of them. They are all  

你的朋友群分享什麼的話，給他們每人一個小鳥金屬徽章。這些金屬徽章的設計都不同

unique but fit together like pieces of a puzzle.  Or get matching posters to let your friends know  

但像拼圖一樣拼湊在一起。或者購買這對海報讓你的朋友知道

you’re thinking of them. Or just browse all the  sciency things we made for you! If you like videos  

你想他們了。或到我們的網頁查看這些我們為你製做的科學東西! 如果你喜歡類似

like this, getting something from our shop is the  best way to support us! Thank you for watching.

這樣的視頻，到我們的商店頁面購物是支持我們的最佳方式! 感謝你的收看