My name's Chuck, and I'm kind of an introvert.

我的名字是 Chuck，我算是個內向的人。

I just got out of bed 5 minutes ago, though I did wake up at 4:30 and was just lying there for several hours, thinking about how my life was a hopeless mess.

我 5 分鐘前才剛從床上爬起來，雖然我是在 4:30 就醒了，只是在那裡躺了幾個小時，想著我的人生不過是一團亂。

Anyway, let's do a roommate check.

言歸正傳，我們來檢查看看室友狀態。

Okay, it sounds like my roommate has left for work for the day.

好，我室友聽起來應該已經離開去上班了。

So, it's safe for me to leave the bedroom.

所以我可以安全地離開臥室。

I work remotely, which is great, 'cause I'm so much more productive.

我是遠端工作，這是一件好事，因為我的工作效率高多了。

The first thing I need to do for work today is reply to an email, so, I'm just gonna get that out of the way real quick.

我今天工作需要做的第一件事就是回覆一封電子郵件，所以我要快點把這個任務解決掉。

Okay, well, now I've written half of the email, so, I think I deserve a little TV break, you know what I'm saying?

好，既然我電子郵件已經寫了一半了，我覺得休息一下看電視是我應得的，你懂嗎？

Maybe just like one episode of the... the "Squid Games", like, I... I don't know, it's supposed to be good.

或許我看個一集《魷魚遊戲》就好了，我也不知道，聽說它很好看。

Okay, wow, so I just finished watching the entirety of "Squid Games".

好，哇，我剛剛把《魷魚遊戲》全部看完了。

Okay, the email is now, like, 55% done.

好了，電子郵件現在大概完成了 55%。

I'm back in my bedroom because my roommate decided to come home in the middle of the day, for some reason.

我現在回到臥室了，因為不知道什麼原因，我室友決定在中午回家。

I know he pays rent here just like I do, but does he have to be here so much?

我知道他跟我一樣有附房租，但他一定要這麼常在家嗎？

Okay, finally, I think he's gone.

好，我覺得他終於走了。

Oh, hey, Chuck, I wondered if you were here.

喔，嗨，Chuck，我還在想你在不在呢。

Oh, hey, man.

喔，嗨，兄弟。

What's up?

還好嗎？

So, being caught off guard in that moment, I accidentally agreed to go out to my roommate's birthday dinner.

所以呢，因為當下的措手不及，我不小心答應去參加我室友的生日晚餐。

Well, technically, it's a joint dinner for me, too, because today is also my birthday, but they don't know that.

嚴格來說，那也是辦給我的聯合晚餐，因為今天也是我生日，只是他們不知道。

Okay, well, I guess I'll head out now, and I'll bring the camera so you guys can meet my friends.

好，我想我現在得出門了，我會把相機帶著，讓你們認識我的朋友。

Yay.

耶。

So, I did not go to the dinner.

結果我沒有去吃晚餐。

I said I had a "family emergency", whatever that even means.

我說我家裡有「急事」，誰知道那是什麼。

You know, I think I'm just gonna order Postmates, have a quiet night in, and watch "Squid Games" again⏤not sponsored.

我想我只會點個 Postmates、靜靜度過今晚，然後再看一次《魷魚遊戲》（不是贊助廣告）。

Okay, well, it's 10 p.m. right now; I'm still working on getting this email finished.

嗯，好，現在是晚上 10 點，我還在忙著要寫完這封電子郵件。

I've been reading it, like, over and over and over again to make sure that I don't say anything awkward, you know what I mean?

我一直一次次地重讀它，確保我沒說寫下任何尷尬的言詞，你了解嗎？

Postmates has arrived.

Postmates 到了。

I'm probably, like, their number one customer, you know, it's nice to have people who just drop something off at the front door.

我大概是他們的頭號顧客，有人直接把東西送到門口放下真是太好了。

You don't have to talk to anybody.

你不需要和任何人對話。

- Hello? - Are you Chuck?

- 你好？ -你是 Chuck 嗎？

Yeah.

嗯。

Chuck, I'm the CEO of Postmates.

Chuck，我是 Postmates 的執行長。

What⏤is this... What?

什麼⋯⋯這是什麼？

I just wanna congratulate you on your 1 millionth order; you're our number one customer!

我只是想祝賀你達到第 100 萬份訂單，你是我們的頭號顧客。

Oh, that's, uh... sobering.

哦，那可真令人警醒。

And I understand you're also the birthday boy.

而且我也知道你是今日壽星。

How could you possibly know that?

你怎麼可能知道？

- You know what that means? - Please don't.

- 你知道這意味什麼嗎？ - 請不要。

♪ Happy, happy, happy birthday; it's your happy happy birthday ♪

♪ 生日快樂、大快樂，今天是你開心的生日♪

♪ Happy birthday to you; I'm the CEO of Postmates ♪

♪ 生日快樂，我是 Postmates 的執行長♪

♪ Hap... happy, happy birthday ♪

♪ 生日快樂、大快樂♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday; happy, happy birthday, hey!♪ - Bruh, is it your birthday?

♪ 生日快樂、大快樂，♪ 生日快樂、大快樂，嘿！♪ - 老兄，今天是你的生日？

- This is the worst day of my life. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- 這是我生命中最糟的一天。♪祝你生日快樂♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you; happy, happy birthday, I'm the CEO of Postmates.♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

♪ 我們全體祝你生日快樂，生日快樂，我是 Postmates 的執行長♪ ♪祝你生日快樂⋯⋯♪