So this one has been a long time in the making as many of you know, I've been married to my japanese wife, Michael for over 3.5 years now in Japan during this time.

是以，正如你們中的許多人所知道的那樣，我與我的日本妻子邁克爾結婚已經超過3.5年了，在這段時間裡，我在日本結婚。

I've learned first hand quite a bit about what Japanese women culturally expect when living with a foreign husband like me from the U.

我親身體會到，當與我這樣來自美國的外國丈夫生活在一起時，日本婦女在文化上的期望是什麼。

S.

S.

So I wanted to share with you some hopefully useful points.

所以我想和你分享一些希望有用的觀點。

And to be fair today's examples of cultural relationship issues are not just from Michael and I some points I learned from my married foreign male friends with Japanese wives or my Japanese wife friends with their foreign husbands over many years living in Japan.

為了公平起見，今天關於文化關係問題的例子不僅僅來自於邁克爾和我，有些觀點是我在多年的日本生活中從我那些有日本妻子的已婚外國男性朋友或我那些有外國丈夫的日本妻子朋友那裡學到的。

This is a list of cultural relationship issues that without compromise have created many fights, ongoing arguments, resentment and even hate leading some married couples into divorce.

這是一份文化關係問題清單，這些問題在沒有妥協的情況下造成了許多爭吵，持續的爭論，怨恨，甚至仇恨，導致一些已婚夫婦離婚。

Like many lists though, these are generalizations and not every Japanese woman or foreign man is like this.

雖然像許多列表一樣，這些都是概括性的，並不是每個日本女人或外國男人都是這樣的。

But if you're planning to get married in Japan, these are some things you might want to be aware of.

但是，如果你打算在日本結婚，這些事情你可能要注意一下。

So you don't end up hating your partner.

這樣你就不會最終憎恨你的伴侶。

Also, I should say that this list can be applied if you're a foreign female with a Japanese husband.

另外，我應該說，如果你是一個有日本丈夫的外國女性，這個清單也可以適用。

Finally, if you're already married in Japan, let me know how these points sit with you and if I missed any, oh and before I start, if you want help with the channel, then definitely check out the merch store Tokyo zebra dot com for its last merch.

最後，如果你已經在日本結婚了，請讓我知道你對這些觀點的看法，如果我錯過了什麼，哦，在我開始之前，如果你想在管道上得到幫助，那麼一定要去商品店Tokyo zebra dot com看看它最後的商品。

We have new designs in the shop.

我們在商店裡有新的設計。

All right, let's get started with a list number one forced to sit down while you pee.

好吧，讓我們從清單上的第一項開始，在你小便時被迫坐下來。

Yeah, we're getting into the stream of things with this one.

是的，我們在這個問題上已經進入了事情的流程。

But let me be absolutely clear, Michael doesn't force me to sit down while I pee at home.

但我要明確一點，邁克爾不會在我在家小便時強迫我坐下來。

This one is actually from one of my friends.

這個實際上是來自我的一個朋友。

So here's the scenario.

是以，情況是這樣的。

Initially, my friend was asked to sit down while he peed by his japanese wife.

最初，我的朋友在撒尿時被他的日本妻子要求坐下來。

But after some negotiating, he was eventually able to, you know, stand up for himself at home.

但經過一些談判，他最終能夠，你知道，在家裡為自己站出來。

But when he visits his wife's fam place, he definitely needs to pee sitting down as a sign of respect.

但是當他去他妻子的家時，他肯定需要坐下來小便，以示尊重。

He may have been a lucky one though because in fact about 50% of japanese males today reported the pee sitting down at home to japanese, It's mainly a cleanliness issue.

不過他可能是個幸運兒，因為事實上今天約有50%的日本男性向日本人報告了在家裡坐著撒尿的情況，這主要是一個清潔的問題。

Less flash means you know less cleaning.

更少的閃光意味著你知道更少的清潔。

So there you go.

所以，你去那裡。

If you're ever with a japanese partner, you may come across this one.

如果你曾經和日本夥伴在一起，你可能會遇到這個問題。

I don't know what do you guys think when you stand up for yourself on this one, Number two can't use A C while sleeping despite Japan's hot and humid summers and freezing winters.

我不知道你們在這個問題上站出來的時候是怎麼想的，二號人物不能在睡覺的時候使用A C，儘管日本的夏天很溼熱，冬天很冰冷。

Turn on the A.

開啟A。

C.

C.

May be considered fighting words in some foreign japanese households as it inevitably leaves one party uncomfortable all throughout the night.

在一些外國的日本家庭中，這可能被認為是打架用語，因為它不可避免地讓一方在整個晚上都不舒服。

See many Japanese have grown up used to Japan's extreme seasonal climate preferring to sleep in the natural air environment without ever using air conditioning in the summer.

請看，許多日本人從小就習慣了日本極端的季節性氣候，喜歡在自然空氣環境中睡覺，夏天從不使用空調。

Since many traditional japanese homes were designed with natural open air circulation in mind and in the winter, Japanese developed extremely warm tones and blankets so they could keep their body warm even in nearly freezing room temperatures.

由於許多傳統的日本家庭在設計時都考慮到了自然開放的空氣流通，在冬天，日本人開發了極其溫暖的色調和毯子，是以即使在幾乎冰冷的室溫下也能保持身體的溫暖。

Without the need for a See the problem with many foreigners though is that they're not used to this environment and can simply argue that they can't be more tired than not sleeping at all because their entire body is dripping from sweat from the humidity or freezing from the cold air.

如果不需要看，但許多外國人的問題是，他們不習慣這種環境，可以簡單地說，他們不可能比不睡覺更累，因為他們的整個身體因潮溼而汗流浹背，或因冷空氣而凍僵。

So yeah, along with many international couples, this is something that Michael and I can relate to because we go back and forth on it as well.

所以，是的，與許多國際夫婦一樣，這是邁克爾和我可以體會到的，因為我們也在這個問題上來回奔波。

But these days in our current apartment we reach more or less a compromise on in the summer and off in the winter, fortunately due to our newer style concrete apartment building in Tokyo A.

但這些天在我們現在的公寓裡，我們或多或少地達成了一種妥協，夏天開著，冬天關著，幸運的是由於我們在東京A區的混凝土公寓樓風格較新。

C.

C.

Is turned on in the summer because it's also too hot for me go to sleep without the A.

在夏天打開，因為沒有A的時候也太熱了，我就去睡覺了。

C.

C.

And in the winter the room itself doesn't get extremely cold so I'm able to make it through the night with a hoodie and beanie.

而在冬天，房間本身不會變得非常冷，所以我只需穿上連帽衫和小帽就能過夜了。

But yeah, I prefer to be able to sleep in just a shirt number three, the rice must always be fluffed.

但是，是的，我更希望能夠只穿一件三號襯衫睡覺，米飯必須總是蓬鬆的。

I don't know if a couple will get divorced over this one, but if you are eating a lot of rice at home, which is common in japan, this one will definitely annoy a japanese wife on the regular C the japanese from when they start eating rice, as little toddlers are taught that rice knows you made fluffy and airy when eating so newly cooked rice in the pot looks like this kind of flat and compressed.

我不知道一對夫婦會不會因為這個問題而離婚，但如果你在家裡吃很多米飯，這在日本很常見，這個肯定會讓日本妻子惱火的，在常規的C日本人從開始吃米飯的時候，作為小幼兒就被教育，米飯知道你在吃的時候做得蓬鬆和透氣，所以新煮的米飯在鍋裡看起來就是這種扁平和壓縮的。

Some westerners think that if you're to take a scoop of rice out yourself, you leave the rest of it just like this brand new for the next person wrong in japan, you're supposed to mix it like this and make it flow for the next person.

一些西方人認為，如果你要自己拿出一勺米，你就把剩下的米像這樣全新地留給下一個人，但在日本，你應該像這樣混合，讓它流向下一個人。

Japanese argue that it tastes way better when each grain is aired out as such.

日本人認為，當每一粒糧食都是這樣晾出來的時候，它的味道會更好。

On the other hand, I've seen firsthand, even at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant in the States, a bowl of rice being packed down before serving it to customers maybe to maximize the portion of rice being served any way you want to piss off your japanese wife than packing a rice tightly before serving a tour.

另一方面，我親眼看到，即使是在美國的日本鐵板燒餐廳，一碗米飯在端給顧客之前被打包下來，也許是為了最大限度地增加米飯的分量，你想把你的日本妻子惹毛，而不是在上菜之前把米飯打包得很緊。

See what happens number four, you must take a bath before going to bed.

看看會發生什麼第四，你必須在睡覺前洗澡。

Now.

現在。

A lot of you have seen my day in the life videos and some of you have commented, why do japanese take a bath at night instead of the morning?

你們中的很多人都看過我的生活視頻，有些人評論說，為什麼日本人在晚上而不是在早上洗澡？

Well, it's all about cleanliness simply for many japanese women, you're not getting into bed with them without taking a bath beds are considered a clean environment in japan, many japanese don't want to sleep with someone who has been sweating outside all day or has wax in their hair.

嗯，這都是關於清潔的問題，對於許多日本女性來說，你不洗澡就不會和她們上床，床在日本被認為是一個乾淨的環境，許多日本人不想和一個在外面流了一整天汗或者頭髮上有蠟的人睡覺。

Let let alone have someone enter their bed with clothes from outside mixed with dust, dirt, bacteria and wherever random place they sat on.

更不用說有人從外面帶著混有灰塵、汙垢、細菌和他們隨便坐的地方的衣服進入他們的床。

It's the same concept with leaving your shoes at the door in Japan not track in whatever you stepped on outside just to a higher level of cleanliness.

在日本，把鞋子放在門口也是同樣的概念，不會把你在外面踩到的任何東西帶進來，只是為了達到更高的清潔水準。

I even know one Japanese wife that's taking it to the extreme where you have to change even when entering the home to say a clean living room attire.

我甚至認識一位日本妻子，她把它發揮到了極致，甚至在進家門時也要換上說是乾淨的客廳服裝。

So this could be a big one.

所以這可能是一個大問題。

If you can't reach a compromise quickly then the relationship may be a nonstarter and if you do compromise early in the relationship, but later on stop doing it, then there could be a chance someone might start hating you.

如果你不能迅速達成妥協，那麼這段關係可能是不可能的，如果你在這段關係的早期做了妥協，但後來不再做了，那麼有可能有人會開始討厭你。

So before we continue one, I'm going to give a quick shout out to the sponsor of this video Squarespace, if you all don't already know, squarespace is the number one way to build your online presence.

是以，在我們繼續之前，我要給這個視頻的贊助商Squarespace一個簡短的叫喊，如果你們都還不知道，Squarespace是建立你的在線存在的頭號方式。

In fact, I use squarespace for my website Tokyo Zebra.

事實上，我的網站 "東京斑馬 "用的就是squarespace。

Here's just some of the reasons why I love using squarespace so much, whether you're starting your passion project or building a business.

以下是我非常喜歡使用squarespace的一些原因，無論你是開始你的激情項目還是建立一個企業。

Squarespace has all the tools to get it done while also looking ultra sleek and professional at the same time.

Squarespace有所有的工具來完成它，同時也看起來超時尚和專業。

They support numerous portfolios and gallery designs which you can customize and even password protect.

他們支持眾多的投資組合和畫廊設計，你可以自定義，甚至可以用密碼保護。

So the right people see your work use its fully integrated blogging tools and commenting features such as threaded comments, replies and likes to help engage your community.

是以，正確的人看到你的工作，使用其完全集成的博客工具和評論功能，如主題評論、回覆和喜歡，以幫助參與你的社區。

And my personal favorite built in analytics to see how your visits, unique visitors and pageviews trend over time.

我個人最喜歡的是內置分析，以瞭解你的訪問量、獨立訪客和頁面瀏覽量隨時間的變化趨勢。

So there you have it go to squarespace dot com today for your free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace dot com forward slash paolo from Tokyo and get 10% off your first domain or web site number five.

所以，你今天就去squarespace dot com進行免費試用，當你準備推出時，去squarespace dot com forward slash paolo from Tokyo，你的第一個域名或第五個網站可獲得10%的折扣。

The bath must be washed every time before using it.

每次使用前都必須清洗浴缸。

This one kind of piggybacks off the previous point.

這一點是對上一點的一種補充。

But yeah, cleanliness is the utmost importance in many japanese homes.

但是，是的，在許多日本人的家裡，清潔是最重要的。

A lot of japanese don't want to get into a bath that hasn't already been washed as it feels gross to them like bathing in a pool of bacteria personally, I've had to deal with this one.

很多日本人不願意進入還沒有洗過的浴缸，因為他們感覺很噁心，就像在一個細菌池裡洗澡一樣，我就遇到過這種情況。

I'm not a bad person and prefer showers, but my wife and son are all about that bath life as all things in our marriage though, Michael and I share the load.

我不是一個壞人，更喜歡淋浴，但我的妻子和兒子都是那種洗澡的生活，就像我們婚姻中的所有事情一樣，雖然，邁克爾和我分擔了責任。

So although I don't even use the bath, I wash it every day for them before they use it.

是以，雖然我根本不使用浴缸，但我每天都會在他們使用前為他們清洗。

If you haven't realized the theme of this video yet, it's compromised.

如果你還沒有意識到這個視頻的主題，那就是妥協。

Otherwise you might end up hating being married in Japan number six, forced to throw away frozen meat after two weeks.

否則，你可能最終會討厭在日本結婚的第六次，被迫在兩週後扔掉冷凍肉。

So this one.

所以這個。

Also I experienced first hand see it's common in japan to throw away meat that you've frozen yourself after two weeks, such as ground beef or ground pork.

我還親身體驗到，在日本，兩週後扔掉自己冷凍的肉是很常見的，比如碎牛肉或碎豬肉。

Now as someone from the U.

現在作為來自美國的人。

S.

S.

I'm used to meet lasting up to 12 months in the freezer, but in japan things like frozen fish and frozen chicken is said to be good for up to only one month and sticks only between 1 to 2 months.

我已經習慣了在冰箱裡保存12個月，但在日本，像冷凍魚和冷凍雞肉這樣的東西據說最多隻能保存一個月，棍子只能保存1到2個月。

Apparently in japan food is intended to be eaten as fresh as possible without any loss in taste or quality.

顯然，在日本，食物的目的是儘可能新鮮地食用而不損失任何味道或品質。

And obviously safety trumps all of this.

顯然，安全勝過一切。

That said there are frozen items that are professionally packed in japan that can last longer.

也就是說，在日本有專業包裝的冷凍物品，可以持續更長時間。

But yeah, when packing frozen meats yourself in this country, your partner may force you to throw away frozen meats as that's what's commonly done.

但是，是的，在這個國家自己包裝冷凍肉類時，你的夥伴可能會強迫你扔掉冷凍肉類，因為那是通常的做法。

This one I've just kind of gone along with as my wife does most of the cooking basically these days we just keep it simple by smaller amounts that can be eaten within a few days.

這個問題我只是順其自然，因為我的妻子做了大部分的烹飪，基本上這些天我們只是保持簡單的少量，可以在幾天內吃完。

Number seven don't use a clothes dryer believe it or not.

第七條不要使用乾衣機，信不信由你。

Even in this day and age japanese people still prefer drying their clothes by hanging them to dry it in a drying machine like this.

即使在這個時代，日本人仍然喜歡通過懸掛來晾晒他們的衣服，用這樣的烘乾機來烘乾它。

So much so that 88% of the japanese population hang dry their wash clothes either inside or outside.

以至於88%的日本人都在室內或室外晾晒他們的衣服。

It's so much part of japanese culture that clothes hanging features are still built into newer homes, Japanese believe that it's gentler on the clothes reduces wrinkles, limit shrinking and when hanging outside in the sunlight acts as a disinfectant.

這是日本文化的一部分，以至於在新的家庭中仍然建造了懸掛衣服的功能，日本人認為這對衣服比較溫和，可以減少褶皺，限制收縮，當懸掛在外面的陽光下時，可以起到消毒的作用。

Plus overall it's cheaper for me though.

另外，總體而言，它對我來說更便宜。

I'm personally into the convenience of these drum washers and dryers in Japan that do everything in one continuous cycle and although my wife Michael grew up in a home where they hung their clothes, she was happy to join me in the dryer life.

我個人很喜歡日本的這些滾筒式洗衣機和烘乾機，它們在一個連續的循環中完成所有的事情，儘管我的妻子邁克爾在一個掛著衣服的家裡長大，但她很樂意和我一起過烘乾機的生活。

In fact, she just made some slight adjustments.

事實上，她只是做了一些輕微的調整。

Like she started buying clothes that were slightly bigger to account for the dryer shrink.

比如她開始買稍微大一點的衣服，以考慮到烘乾機的收縮。

You just saved so much time with these machines, you put in your dirty clothes and they come out hot clean and dry.

有了這些機器，你就節省了很多時間，你把你的髒衣服放進去，它們出來時是熱的，乾淨的，乾的。

So maybe for this one, even though your Japanese wife has never used one of these dryer machines in their house.

是以，也許對於這個，儘管你的日本妻子從來沒有在他們家使用過這種烘乾機。

If you introduce it to her that she might be likely to use it because it's just so convenient.

如果你把它介紹給她，她可能會有可能使用它，因為它實在是太方便了。

On the other hand, my foreign fan who also owns a washer and dryer system like this had to abandon the dry feature as soon as he got married to a Japanese wife as she definitely preferred to hang all of their clothes.

另一方面，我的外國粉絲也擁有這樣的洗衣機和烘乾機系統，他在與日本妻子結婚後就不得不放棄烘乾功能，因為她肯定更喜歡懸掛他們所有的衣服。

So yeah, each couple has a different threshold for what's acceptable for them and number eight, get your bowls right.

所以是的，每對夫婦都有不同的門檻，什麼是他們可以接受的，第八，把你的碗弄好。

So yeah, this one personally caught me off guard as I really didn't even know it was a thing until my wife pointed it out and it's less of an, I hate you scenario.

所以，是的，這個人讓我個人措手不及，因為我真的甚至不知道這是一件事，直到我的妻子指出來，這就不像一個，我恨你的場景。

But why did you do that kind of thing in Japan?

但你為什麼要在日本做這種事呢？

Probably in some other countries as well.

可能在其他一些國家也是如此。

Each bowl has a specific purpose.

每個碗都有一個特定的用途。

Rice bowls for rice, miso soup bowls for miso soup and so on.

飯碗用來裝米飯，醬湯碗用來裝醬湯，諸如此類。

Apparently putting my salsa in the rice bowl or using the miso soup bowl for my rice is a bit of a no, no in Japan.

顯然，把我的莎莎醬放在飯碗裡或用醬湯碗盛飯，在日本是有點不允許的。

To be fair though, typical japanese meals have miso soup and rice.

但公平地說，典型的日本餐有味噌湯和米飯。

So if you do use these bowls for another purpose, it could mess up the table arrangement.

是以，如果你真的將這些碗用於其他用途，可能會弄亂桌子的佈置。

So yeah, this one definitely annoys Michael, but I make the mistake all the time.

是以，是的，這個問題肯定會讓邁克爾惱火，但我一直在犯這個錯誤。

So, so she just lives with it.

所以，所以她只是與之共存。

But depending on who you marry, this could be more or less a forgivable offense.

但是取決於你和誰結婚，這可能是或多或少可以被原諒的罪行。

Fun fact.

有趣的事實。

Did you know that rice balls in japan are not equal.

你知道嗎，日本的飯糰是不平等的。

Japanese actually have rice balls called mayo Toja.

日本人實際上有飯糰，叫作Mayo Toja。

One husband and wife rice bowls where the man's bowl is bigger and like my man biggie once said, if you don't know now, you know, I hope this video helps you and some of the cultural compromises you may need to be aware of if you decide to marry a Japanese person at the end of the day.

一對夫妻的飯碗，男人的碗更大，就像我的男人biggie曾經說過的，如果你現在不知道，你就會知道，我希望這個視頻能幫助你，如果你決定在最後嫁給一個日本人，你可能需要注意的一些文化妥協。

It really depends on the person if they care about these such things.

這真的取決於人是否關心這些東西。

But knowing some of these points may help you guys avoid hating each other in the future.

但瞭解其中的一些要點可能會幫助你們在未來避免互相憎恨。

That said, if you guys like this video helped me out and hit that like button.

也就是說，如果你們喜歡這個視頻，就幫我按下那個喜歡的按鈕。

If you guys want to see more videos like this or anything related to Japan, hit that subscribe button and the button, I'll catch you guys in the next one.

如果你們想看到更多像這樣的視頻或任何與日本有關的視頻，請點擊訂閱按鈕和按鈕，我會在下一個視頻中抓住你們。