Apparently this character here, Big mouth is called is inspired by me.

顯然，這裡的這個人物，大嘴叫是受我的啟發。

I don't mind it.

我並不在意。

I think it's funny, I love it and I definitely don't want to murder whoever came up with it.

我認為這很有趣，我喜歡它，而且我絕對不想謀殺想出它的人。

But recently I've been starting to wonder is this a parody or is it a prophecy of things to come.

但最近我開始想，這到底是模仿，還是對未來事物的預言。

Now?

現在？

A few days ago, after my 32nd birthday, I received the results of my king cautioned in literally health report was supposed to get one of these done every single year because I'm an idiot.

幾天前，在我32歲生日之後，我收到了我的國王告誡的結果，從字面上看，健康報告應該每年都要做一次，因為我是個白痴。

I hadn't done it in half a decade now already I wasn't in a very good place because I don't like getting older.

我已經有半年沒有做過了，我的狀態不是很好，因為我不喜歡變老。

I didn't want to turn 32 years old.

我不想變成32歲的人。

The only upside that I can tell is if you're a Youtuber, You do get a shout out every year from famous birthdays.com reminding you how famous and brilliant that you are apparently on the 19th most famous Chris in the world after Chris Tucker and before Chris Motionless.

我所知道的唯一好處是，如果你是一個Youtuber，你每年都會收到來自famous birthdays.com的喊話，提醒你是多麼有名和出色，你顯然是世界上第19位最有名的克里斯，僅次於克里斯-塔克和克里斯-莫里斯。

Get in although always good to take a website with a pinch of salt when they get your birthplace wrong by 400 miles.

雖然當一個網站把你的出生地錯了400英里時，總是好的，但還是要帶著一撮鹽。

And also up until recently I had my birthday wrong as well.

而且直到最近，我的生日也是錯的。

Bring into question the entire existential purpose of famous birthdays dot com.

讓人質疑著名生日網的整個存在目的。

Anyway, according to this bleak and unforgiving health report, I too will soon be chris motionless, check this out.

總之，根據這份黯淡無光的健康報告，我也將很快被Chris一動不動地帶走，看看這個吧。

I'm overweight tick high cholesterol tick, high blood pressure tick a fatty liver, even though I don't drink that much alcohol.

我超重，高膽固醇，高血壓，脂肪肝，儘管我不怎麼喝酒。

Although I suspect I know which video is the sole reason for this health issue.

雖然我懷疑我知道哪個視頻是這個健康問題的唯一原因。

Alone.

獨自一人。

B.

B.

m.

m.

28.7 that's classed as overweight, almost obese tick.

28.7，這被歸類為超重，幾乎是肥胖的嘀。

And by all accounts, I'll be dead by the end of this video.

而且從各方面來看，這段視頻結束時我就會死掉。

Tick is actually anything good on this.

嘀嘀在這方面其實是有什麼好處的。

I've got all right, I've got some good, we've got some white blood cells.

我已經得到了所有的權利，我已經得到了一些好的，我們已經得到了一些白血細胞。

That's good and it's got a nice smile.

這很好，它的笑容很好看。

Other than that though, it's not good reading.

不過除此之外，這本書並不好讀。

And the doctor told me at the end if I carry on on this sort of trajectory of shit that I'm going to need to take tablets in my forties for like cholesterol and blood pressure.

最後醫生告訴我，如果我繼續這樣的狗屎軌跡，我將需要在四十歲時服用膽固醇和血壓等藥片。

Now, I know it sounds like I'm almost cheekily proud of this.

現在，我知道這聽起來好像我幾乎是在厚著臉皮為之驕傲。

Like I've unlocked an achievement, get the most cholesterol award.

就像我已經解鎖了一項成就，得到了最多的膽固醇獎。

But honestly, I feel like I have let myself down.

但說實話，我覺得我讓自己失望了。

I'm not happy with the state of my health.

我對自己的健康狀況不滿意。

I don't want to go down this pathway of being in poor health throughout my thirties.

我不想走這條路，在整個三十多歲的時候身體都不好。

You know, I don't want to be abroad in a body bag anytime soon and this has been the sort of wake up call that I've really needed for a long time now.

你知道，我不想很快就被裝在屍袋裡出國，這已經是我很久以來真正需要的那種警醒了。

They might be thinking, well you don't look that bad.

他們可能會想，好吧，你看起來沒有那麼糟糕。

You know, you certainly don't look like this just yet point to point out that the worst things are happening down here with my stomach just very carefully and cleverly concealed in the shop.

你知道嗎，你肯定不是這樣的，只是還沒有指出，最糟糕的事情發生在這裡，我的肚子只是非常小心和巧妙地隱藏在店裡。

Also like all good youtubers I film from a slightly lofted angle, which is more flattering on the jaw line.

此外，像所有優秀的優酷網友一樣，我從一個略微傾斜的角度拍攝，這對下巴線條更有利。

You know, as I always say, if you put the camera right there and film like this, then it's not that good, is it?

你知道，正如我常說的，如果你把攝影機放在那裡，像這樣拍攝，那麼它就沒有那麼好，是嗎？

That's awful At this point.

在這一點上，這太可怕了。

You're also probably thinking, well cry me a river dickhead, you're just eating all the food.

你可能也在想，好吧，哭吧，笨蛋，你只是在吃所有的食物。

What did you think was gonna happen?

你認為會發生什麼？

Living off a diet comprised of saturated oil and breadcrumbs.

依靠由飽和油和麵包屑組成的飲食生活。

It's a fair point there in my rare defense, I don't actually eat like that every day.

這是一個公平的觀點，在我罕見的辯護中，我實際上並不是每天都這樣吃。

These are sort of rare sporadic videos, not an actual reflection of my diet because I travel around so frequently.

這些算是罕見的零星視頻，不是我飲食的實際反映，因為我經常到處旅行。

I often do eat out or go to convenience stores and you know, on a Geary sandwiches batter instead of a nice lean chicken salad.

我經常在外面吃飯或去便利店，你知道的，在Geary三明治的麵糊上，而不是一個漂亮的瘦雞肉沙拉。

What I'm trying to say is it's not my fault that I'm like this, it's Japan, Japan did it to me, not my own terrible reckless decision making, but it recently came to a head when I realized how bad it was and like all idiots with access to twitter, I went on there and had a rant about it for a little bit saying how sort of disappointed I wasn't myself and some nice people came to my aid and said like jokes like this need to stop and what not, we need to stop making fan art of chris looking like a bowling ball or this fucking grotesque human tottering.

我想說的是，我變成這樣不是我的錯，是日本，是日本對我做的，而不是我自己可怕的魯莽決策，但最近當我意識到它有多糟糕時，就像所有能訪問twitter的白痴一樣，它達到了頂峰。我在那裡咆哮了一會兒，說我對自己有多麼失望，一些好心人來幫助我，說像這樣的笑話需要停止，我們需要停止製作克里斯看起來像一個保齡球的粉絲藝術，或者這個他媽的怪異的人類蹣跚而行。

But I have to say like, you know, I enjoy this stuff.

但我不得不說，就像，你知道，我很享受這種東西。

It's brilliant.

這很精彩。

This isn't the reason I'm feeling sad.

這並不是我感到悲傷的原因。

This is the reason I'm feeling sad, right?

這就是我感到悲傷的原因，對嗎？

Internal health reasons, Truth be told.

內部健康原因，實話實說。

The most accurate fan art that anyone's ever sent me was this, Look at that from cd project red.

任何人給我發的最準確的粉絲藝術是這個，看看這個來自cd項目的紅色。

There I am with my sword taking on the trash taste thugs like looking into a mirror, Isn't it like that?

我在那裡拿著我的劍對付那些垃圾味道的暴徒，就像照鏡子一樣，是不是這樣？

I can't all fan art look that good.

我不能讓所有的粉絲藝術看起來那麼好。

But when it comes to my health, surprisingly despite doing this physical appearance is bottom of my list of reasons for wanting to get fit.

但是，當談到我的健康時，令人驚訝的是，儘管做了這些，身體的外觀在我想要健身的理由清單上是墊底的。

It's those sort of physical manifestations, those symptoms of health issues, the tiredness and fatigue.

就是那些身體上的表現，那些健康問題的症狀，疲倦和疲勞。

You know, it's sad looking back at old videos where I can perform physical feats like climb a mountain or ride a bicycle knowing I'm not fit enough to do such things.

你知道嗎，回顧以前的視頻，我可以完成爬山或騎自行車等體能壯舉，但我知道自己的身體狀況不足以做這樣的事情，這很可悲。

Now, recently I found myself turning down trips with friends to climb the Japanese alps, something I've always wanted to do because I know I'll be coming back down in a bag.

現在，最近我發現自己拒絕了與朋友一起去攀登日本阿爾卑斯山的旅行，這是我一直想做的事情，因為我知道我將會揹著包回來。

How can I climb a mountain when I can barely get up this test?

我連這個測試都難以上手，怎麼能爬山呢？

In the past.

在過去。

I've talked about Japan's obsession with fitness and how I was gently bullied a few years ago when I put on weight at the school, I used to work, students would like come and prod me in the stomach when I put on weight and my own colleagues would make thinly veiled comments like chris chris sense it, you look like you've enjoyed food recently.

我已經談到了日本對健身的痴迷，以及幾年前我在學校裡發胖時如何被溫柔地欺負，我曾經工作過，當我發胖時，學生們會喜歡來戳我的肚子，而我自己的同事也會做出薄薄的評論，比如說克里斯-克瑞斯感覺到了，你看起來最近很享受食物。

It's not surprising given Japan does have one of the lowest obesity rates on the planet, but despite that sort of gentle bullying, it never really forced me to get fit.

鑑於日本確實是地球上肥胖率最低的國家之一，這並不奇怪，但儘管有這種溫和的欺凌，它從未真正強迫我去健身。

You know, if anything, I felt more inclined to stay overweight as a sort of act of rebellion.

你知道，如果有的話，我覺得更傾向於保持超重，作為一種反叛的行為。

It wasn't until I got a health report like this in my third year of teaching telling me my cholesterol was awful that I actually got my act together and started jogging and started dieting.

直到我在教書的第三年收到這樣一份健康報告，告訴我我的膽固醇很糟糕，我才真正振作起來，開始慢跑並開始節食。

Well, I'd like to say that I'm announcing some kind of incredible series like journey across Japan, let's walk 2000 miles edition.

好吧，我想說的是，我正在宣佈某種不可思議的系列，如穿越日本的旅程，讓我們走2000英里版。

In reality I'm actually off to the UK for the first time in about 2.5 years.

在現實中，我實際上要去英國，這是兩年半以來的第一次。

Next week, let's face it, I'm not traveling all the way to the U.

下週，讓我們面對現實吧，我不會大老遠跑到美國去。

K, just to eat a caesar salad.

K，只是為了吃一份凱撒沙拉。

But beyond that, when I do return to Japan this summer, I am going to put self improvement, both physical and mental well being at the absolute forefront of everything.

但除此之外，當我今年夏天返回日本時，我將把自我改善，包括身體和精神健康放在一切事情的絕對前列。

I'm gonna do my goal for the end of this year is to be the fittest I've ever been in my entire life and hopefully not failing in a very public way.

我要做的是今年年底的目標是成為我一生中最健康的人，希望不要以非常公開的方式失敗。

I want to share that sort of process with you guys and you know, you also get tips advice from you as well, if there's a physical challenge in Japan that you'd like to see me kind of attempt or try or even outside of Japan will be completely open minded to doing that.

我想與你們分享這種過程，你們知道，你們也能從你們那裡得到提示建議，如果在日本有一個物理挑戰，你們想看到我那種嘗試或嘗試，甚至在日本以外的地方也會完全開放地去做。

I'm open to your ideas.

我對你的想法持開放態度。

What I'll say is I'm quite a goal driven person and I think if I set a goal of trying to climb a specific mountain or undertake a specific challenge, I think that's far more likely to happen than just saying oh I want to lose weight, you know, but just remember if you ever do want to get fit, it needs to come from within, it needs to be a decision you make and not because you're being prodded in the fucking stomach by an annoying colleague, but hopefully with this plan, with this goal in mind, by the end of this year, this will have become a prophecy, not this, Yeah, let's do it, let's make it happen, hold me to it.

我要說的是，我是一個相當受目標驅動的人，我認為如果我設定一個目標，試圖攀登一座特定的山峰或進行一項特定的挑戰，我認為這遠比說哦我想減肥更有可能發生，你知道，但只要記住，如果你確實想健身，它需要來自內心。但希望有了這個計劃，有了這個目標，到今年年底，這將成為一個預言，而不是這樣，是的，讓我們做吧，讓我們實現它，讓我堅持下去。