My name is Ted Dorfeuille, but you may know me as Disappointed Black Guy.

我的名字是 Ted Dorfeuille，但你可能比較知道「我是失望的黑人」。

This was a really crazy experience that definitely showed me a darker side of the internet.

這是一次非常瘋狂的經歷，讓我看到了網路的黑暗面。

So this all started in the year 2011.

所以這一切都始於2011年。

Growing up my main interests were video games.

成長過程中，我主要的興趣是電子遊戲。

My dad had a PS 1 that he got for himself basically to play Madden and eventually I talked him into letting me play on the system sometimes when he's not playing video games,

我爸爸有一台PS 1，他買來是為了玩Madden遊戲，最後我說服在他沒玩遊戲的時候偶爾讓我玩一下，

Final Fantasy is a series of role playing games from Japan.

《Final Fantasy》是日本的一系列角色扮演遊戲。

There are a lot of them Final Fantasies like 1 through 13.

《Final Fantasy》有推出從一到十三個版本。

Each of them has a different protagonist.

每個版本中都有一個不同的主角。

In Final Fantasy Duodecim, these heroes and villains from all these Final Fantasy Universes face off for the fate of everything.

在《Final Fantasy Duodecim》中所有這些宇宙的英雄和惡棍為了最終的命運而對峙。

So me and my friend Jonah, we're playing, I don't want to say competitively because we were like sophomore in high school but we were getting pretty serious and he would beat me almost consistently at one point.

我和我的朋友 Jonah 都有在玩，我不想說我們互相在比較，因為我們是高二同學，但我們越打越認真，他一度幾乎打敗我。

This one character I didn't like, her name is Prishe, I thought she was broken, she was unfun to play against.

有一個我不喜歡的角色，她的名字叫 Prishe，我覺得她很壞，和她玩遊戲很沒意思。

I had an internet blog at the time and I felt like writing a tier list of all the characters based off of how fun these characters were to play against.

我當時有在寫部落格，我會根據這些角色的有趣程度寫一份角色的等級表。

No surprise my friends' favorite character was at the top and I kind of just made this post and this post didn't get any interactions at all.

不出所料，我的朋友們最喜歡的角色在最前面，我一開始發文根本沒有人回應。

But I think the day after I got an anonymous message from someone.

但我在第二天就收到一封的匿名訊息。

Initially, I was excited because I wasn't really popular on the internet.

最初我感到很興奮，因為我網路上並沒有很受歡迎。

So the few times I would get a message, I would be excited, but then I was like surprised by the actual content.

所以有收到訊息我會很興奮，但後來我看到訊息的內容驚呆了。

Why are you talking about this game?

你為什麼要談論這個遊戲？

You don't know anything about these characters, You're not playing it right.

你對這些人物一無所知，你根本不會玩。

What would a stupid know about doing these combos and stuff.

這麼笨的人怎麼會知道這些等等。

And I was like, why is this dude so mad about my tier list on a handheld fighting game.

我當時想，為什麼這傢伙對我的等級表如此生氣。

So I thought it would be funny to play off my emotional rollercoaster of me getting this message and then being upset about it.

所以我想把我收到這個訊息後的表情秀出來會很有趣。

It was a big day because I think I got like maybe like 12 interactions by the end of the day,

這是一個重要的日子，因為我在隔天晚上就有多達12個回應，

I got big on Twitter and Facebook and then thousands and then like hundreds of thousands within like a week or two.

我在推特和臉書上造成了很大的迴響，然後在之後一兩個星期內有幾十萬人注意到我。

I think in the first few weeks going viral was kind of exciting.

我認為在最初的幾個星期裡滿刺激的。

But then after like a month I was like, you know, what is internet playing?

但一個月後，我就想，究竟網路在幹嘛？

I think the internet is like fake, it's not, not even a real place.

我認為網路世界就像假的，它不是一個真實的地方。

Everyone at my high school knows me, but they don't know me for like any good reason like my character or like my abilities.

我高中的每個人都知道我，但他們不是真正從我的個性或我的能力認識的，

Once high school was over and I started going to college, I was distanced enough from the meme,

一旦高中結束，我開始上大學，我就和這網路迷因爆紅梗圖劃清界線，

People would like ask if the meme was me and I would say no, obviously not and it would work.

大家會問迷因爆紅梗圖是不是我，我會說顯然不是我，就可以沒事了。

I would get away with it a lot of the time, but sometime down the line, I realized that pretending like this person is not me was affecting other people negatively.

我在很多時候都能這樣成功脫困，但在某個時候意識到，假裝這個人不是我，對其他人產生了負面影響。

There was this Brazilian actor that would get mistaken for me all the time.

有一位巴西演員，經常被誤認為是我。

He would have to explain every year how this person in the meme is not him.

他不得不每次解釋迷因爆紅梗圖不是他。

He inspired me to own up to it because there were lots of videos of him like having to reject it.

他啟發了我要自己承擔這個責任，因為他發很多影片證明迷因圖不是他本人。

And I think after a certain point I was like, you know, it it would make more sense to just say it's me because if I truly don't care about it, I have to also not care that it's me.

過了一段時間，我想如果就承認說這是我會更有意義，因為如果我真的要不在乎，是不是我也無所謂。

I think the only reason I made the meme in the first place was because of internet racism that was pointed at me.

我想我當初做這個迷因梗圖唯一的原因是網路上針對我的種族歧視。

And then I think even like the mean name itself disappointed black guy is like another factor in it because there's like, there's no disappointed like white guy, there's no disappointed guy.

然後我認為梗圖的標題就足夠讓黑人群體失望了，因為沒有白人被這樣邊貼標籤。

There's only the one disappointed guy and I happened to be black.

就只是因為我很失望，而我剛好又是黑人。

And it kind of changed how I approached the internet, like from then on.

從那時起它改變了我看待網路的方式。

On some levels, I do regret becoming a meme because a lot of unwanted attention and stuff happened in my life,

在某些層面上，我確實後悔成為一位迷因梗圖網紅，因為在我的生活中發生了很多不必要的關注和事情，

but I did make a lot of friends along the way that I don't regret getting,

但我確實一路交了很多朋友，我不後悔交到這些朋友，

I do have a lot of friends that I met on the Internet because of the meme that I've never met in real life that I wouldn't have without it.

我確實有很多透過網路上認識，但在現實生活中不會認識到的朋友。

So if I had to do it all over again, I guess I would because I think more good stuff came out of it than bad stuff.

如果要再重來一次，我想我還是會這麼做，因為我獲得了很多正面的勝過負面的。