I used to be the only person of color in a friend group comprised solely of white women.

在一個完全由白人女性組成的朋友群中，我曾經是唯一的有色人種。

Who are The Problematics?

誰是 「問題人物」？

They're white girls whose audacity knows no bounds. If regular people have issues, they have subscriptions.

他們是大膽且沒有底線的白人女孩。 如果普通人發生問題，他們就會關注到底。

That one there, that's Kara Smith. She's one of the most self-absorbed girls you'll ever meet.

那邊那個人，是 Kara Smith。她是你見過最自戀的女孩。

Melissa sat next to her in group therapy last year. Instead of asking, "How are you?" She asked, "How am I?"

Melissa 去年在小組治療中坐在她旁邊，見到對方她不是：「你好嗎？」還是問說：「我怎麼樣？」

That little one is Gretchen Von Williams. She's totally rich because Weird Al adopted her.

那個小傢伙是 Gretchen Von Williams。她非常富有，因為怪人 Al 收養了她。

Gretchen Von Williams knows everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone.

Gretchen Von Williams 知道每個人的大小事，她對每個人都瞭如指掌。

That's why she has bangs, it hides her secrets.

這就是為什麼她有劉海，可以隱藏她的祕密。

And evil takes a human form in Regina Georgé.

而 Regina Georgé 是邪惡的化身。

Don't be fooled, she's not your typical backstabbing slut-faced evil ho-bag, she's so much more than that.

不要被騙了，她不是典型會在背後捅你一刀，一副蕩婦臉的邪惡婊子，她更可怕。

She loves to hold court.

她喜歡引人注目。

Even if you've heard a story before, she'll make you listen to it raptly to retell it again and again and again and again.

即使你已經聽過了，她也會讓你全神貫注地聽她一遍又一遍地講故事。

The Problematics. How do we even begin to explain The Problematics?

問題人物。我們該如何解釋這些問題人物呢？

The Problematics are such good listeners.

問題人物是很棒的傾聽者。

When six Asian women were murdered in Atlanta, they asked me how I felt, and then they talked over me the whole time.

當六名亞洲女性在亞特蘭大被謀殺時，她們問我感覺如何，然後她們一直在安慰我。（種族歧視）

One time I was complaining about a fetishization and they reminded me, I'm lucky I'm fuckable.

有一次我抱怨戀物癖時，她們提醒我，我很幸運我是個可以跟人上床的人。（暗諷她是物品）

I outed a powerful rapist and then they bullied me out of their group. It was awesome.

我揭露一個有權有勢的強姦犯，然後她們霸凌我，將我踢出她們的小團體。太棒了。

This particular group of "friends" embodied so many problematic behaviors:

這群特殊的「朋友」體現了許多有問題的行為：

triangulation, hierarchical competition, controlling narratives and perceptions of themselves through manipulation, and best of all, relational bullying.

三角關係、等級競爭、通過操縱控制敘述和對自己的看法，最重要的是關係霸凌。

So relational or social bullying is any subtle behavior used to socially detach or isolate another individual.

關係或社交霸凌是用於在社會上分離或孤立另一個人的小動作。

Harm is caused by damaging someone's reputation or social status.

損害某人的名譽或社會地位會對人造成傷害。

It's different than other obvious forms of physical or verbal bullying because the actions are usually quiet and hidden from others.

它與其他明顯的身體或語言霸凌不同，因為這些行為通常是低調的，隱藏起來的。

And often, get this, happens between friends.

而且往往發生在朋友之間。

So, research shows that girls are more likely to engage in relational bullying than any other kind.

研究表明，與其他任何類型的霸凌相比，女孩更有可能參與關係霸凌。

And relational bullies are often popular, charismatic, and rarely suspected to be bullies.

關係霸凌的加害者通常很受歡迎，很有魅力，而且很少被懷疑是加害者。

Their bullying is often disguised as friendship and that friendship is used as a weapon.

他們的霸凌行為經常偽裝成友誼，而這種友誼被用作武器。

So, these bullies use a variety of tactics to diminish their victims - exclusion, gossip and rumors, and even attempts to damage or end close relationships of their targets.

這些加害者會使用各種策略來貶低他們的受害者，透過排擠、八卦和謠言，甚至試圖破壞或結束他們加害目標的戀愛關係。

All done covertly as though they're some clandestine fucking spy.

一切都是秘密進行的，就好像他們是一些該死的秘密間諜一樣。

We're about to pull off an impossible mission. Where's your artillery?

我們要去完成一項不可能完成的任務，你的大砲在哪裡？

Right here.

就在這裡。

What is it? A bomb? A poisonous concoction?

那是什麼？一個炸彈？一種有毒的混合物？

No, it's an iPhone 12.

不，它是 iPhone 12。

How are you going to pull this off with a stupid phone?

你要怎麼用一個愚蠢的手機來完成這個任務？

See, while you were busy scouting the museum, I was doing the real spy work. I became besties with the curator.

你瞧，當你忙著偵查博物館的時候，我在做真正的間諜工作。我和館長成了好朋友。

Hello?

喂？

Oh my God, girl, I'm so sorry but Zack made a move on me tonight.

哦，我的上帝，女孩。我很抱歉，但 Zack 今晚邀約我了。

(Foreign expression)

(講外文)

She confided in me that she thinks he's too good for her and he's gonna leave her someday. This will break her up for good.

她向我吐露心聲，她認為他對她太好了，總有一天他會離開她。 這會讓她永遠心碎。

What does that have to do with our extraction of the Mona Lisa?

這與我們竊取《蒙娜麗莎》有啥關聯？

I'm so sorry. I think you should head to his house immediately.

我很抱歉。我認為你應該立即去他家。

Merci for telling me this, you are a good friend.

謝謝你告訴我這些，你是個好朋友。

Well, now look who's got the better weapon.

看吧，誰的武器比較好。

Jean Claude, how could you?

Jean Claude，你怎麼能這樣？

Now you would hope that most girls and people would just grow out of relational bullying by the time they're adults,

你可能會希望大多數女孩或其他人長大之後能擺脫關係霸凌，

but fun fact: high school doesn't end for some people. Whoa!

但有趣的事實是，高中對某些人來說並沒有結束的一天。哇！

Emotional immaturity can persist in those who never do the work and stave off awareness.

那些從不從事這項工作的人會持續存在情感上的不成熟，從而避開意識。

And when you're also a person of color, surrounded predominantly by white women,

當你也是一個有色人種，主要被白人女性包圍時，

you often have to deal with microaggressions and racist remarks on top of good old, regular relational bullying.

除了舊有的、經常性的關係霸凌之外，你還經常需要應對微歧視和種族主義的言論。

Yay for us. Yes, we can have it all.

對我們來說是好事。是的，我們可以擁有這一切。

Now, how do you deal with relational bullying?

現在，你如何應對關係霸凌呢？

Well, according to my therapist, aka The Oracle, the best thing to do with these people is to turn off the lights, walk out of the room, move into indifference,

根據我的治療師，又叫做 The Oracle，面對這些人最好的辦法就是關掉燈、走出房間、忽視一切，

'cause they can't suck the life out of you, if they don't have a straw.

如果他們沒有那根吸管，就不能把你的生命吸走。

So, revoke the straw.

所以把吸管拿走吧。

I'm Anna Akana, thank you the Patreons for supporting today's video.

我是 Anna Akana。感謝各位贊助人對今天影片的支持。

If you want to see your handy-dandy name here, feel free to click on the link below.

如果你想在這裡看到你的名字，請點下面的連結。