is, when we reflect on it, a highly paradoxical one.

當我們思考時，這是一個非常矛盾的問題。

How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us?

我們怎麼可能與屬於我們的感情失去聯繫？

Where might they go?

他們可能去哪裡？

And what might be driving their loss?

那麼是什麼原因導致了他們的損失呢？

It seems we’re built in such a way that an understanding of much of what our minds

似乎我們的構造是這樣的，對我們頭腦中的許多東西的理解是這樣的

and bodies go through is in no way automatic; it is mediated via the acceptance and understanding

和身體所經歷的絕不是自動的；它是通過接受和理解來調解的。

of other people.

的其他人。

We know well enough about some things: if, for example, there were to be a gaping wound

我們對一些事情瞭解得很清楚：比如說，如果有一個裂開的傷口

in our leg, or we hadn’t drunk anything for three days, we would know the truth soon

在我們的腿上，或者我們已經三天沒有喝任何東西了，我們很快就會知道真相。

enough.

足夠了。

But many of our sensations are like bells that have no solid wire back to consciousness;

但我們的許多感覺就像鈴鐺一樣，沒有堅實的電線回到意識中去。

they ring at a peculiar frequency that isn’t picked up by our minds when these have been

它們以一種奇特的頻率響起，而我們的大腦卻沒有接收到，當這些已經

attuned incorrectly.

適應不正確。

This may, for example, happen around tiredness.

例如，這可能發生在疲勞的周圍。

Our body may have grown extremely weary over many years but consciousness might simply

我們的身體可能在多年後變得非常疲憊，但意識可能只是

not be interested, because it’s been calibrated to respond only to an agenda which sets store

不感興趣，因為它已經被校準為只對一個議程做出反應，而這個議程設置了商店、商店和商店之間的關係。

by the fast-paced pursuit of status and money.

被快節奏的對地位和金錢的追求所影響。

Or we might feel hugely anxious or in a rage with someone but consciousness, might not

或者我們可能會感到非常焦慮，或對某人感到憤怒，但意識上，可能不會

care because we have been ordered to be confident or extremely ‘good’.

照顧，因為我們被命令要自信或極度'好'。

Or there might be a profound sadness inside us, but the feeling might not earn our attention,

或者我們內心可能有一種深刻的悲傷，但這種感覺可能不會贏得我們的注意。

because we’re meant to be privileged people with nothing to complain about.

因為我們註定是有特權的人，沒有什麼可抱怨的。

Why do we overlook our feelings like this?

為什麼我們會這樣忽視自己的感受？

Because we generally only notice those feelings to which other people, especially people in

因為我們一般只注意到其他人，特別是那些身處其中的人的感受。

our childhoods, pay attention to - and conversely ignore those which they sideline or belittle.

我們的童年，關注的是--反之，忽視的是那些被他們排擠或輕視的。

If no one especially cares that we are worried, if the grounds for our anger would be refused

如果沒有人特別關心我們的擔心，如果我們憤怒的理由會被拒絕

immediately, if there’s a dominant assumption that tiredness is for wimps, then we’ll

如果有一種主導性的假設，認為疲憊是為懦夫準備的，那麼我們就會

follow suit and disdain bits of ourselves as much as others have done.

效仿，像其他人一樣不屑於自己的位子。

Knowing how to care for ourselves depends on having been cared for by others; we listen

知道如何照顧自己取決於曾經被別人照顧過；我們傾聽

to ourselves because people around us have listened to us.

因為我們周圍的人都聽從我們的意見。

Reconnecting with our lost feelings therefore relies on a new, expanded sense of what it

是以，與我們失去的感情重新建立聯繫，有賴於對它的新的、擴大的感覺。

might be legitimate to experience.

可能是合法的經驗。

We have to be given permission to give our attention to as much of the sorrow, anxiety,

我們必須得到允許，將我們的注意力儘可能多地放在悲傷、焦慮上。

anger or tiredness as may really be locked inside us.

憤怒或疲倦可能真的被鎖在我們體內。

Put another way, we have to be loved properly, and so allowed to register whatever we are

換句話說，我們必須得到適當的愛，是以允許我們登記我們是什麼。

actually going through without being belittled, stonewalled or humiliated.

在不被輕視、不被搪塞、不被羞辱的情況下，真正地走過去。

Love will allow us to enjoy what should always have been our basic privilege: to know what

愛將使我們能夠享受本應一直是我們的基本特權：知道什麼是

we feel.

我們感到。