Does it sound a little different to you?

對你來說，這聽起來有些不同嗎？

A little sexier.

更加性感一點。

A little lower Thanks a lot.

低一點 謝謝。

Um There's a reason for that.

嗯，這是有原因的。

I haven't actually felt well today.

實際上我今天感覺並不好。

Uh Thank you bastards.

呃 謝謝你們這些混蛋。

Yeah we're talking about my physical health.

是的，我們正在談論我的身體健康。

You can want what?

你可以要什麼？

Ring spin.

環形旋轉。

But when I say I'm sick, what if this is my lead into?

但是，當我說我有病時，如果這是我的線索成呢？

I have a terminal illness.

我得了絕症。

You don't know where I'm going with this, do you?

你不知道我在說什麼，是嗎？

Alright.

好吧。

Well anyway it isn't want want because because basically uh you know I I just have some kind of virus or something and I uh I last night I was up all night really sore throat.

好吧，無論如何，這不是想要的，因為基本上，呃，你知道我只是得了某種病毒或什麼東西，我呃，我昨天晚上我整夜沒睡，真的是喉嚨痛。

I woke up today a key.

我今天醒來的時候是一把鑰匙。

Just don't feel well come to work because the show must go on.

只是不舒服來上班，因為演出必須繼續進行。

Um or they'll fire my ass.

嗯，否則他們會解僱我的屁股。

So we got we got through most of the day and then this is true.

所以我們得到了我們得到了通過一天的大部分時間，然後這是真的。

Just about I don't know like two hours or 2.5 hours before we taped tonight show.

就在我們錄製今晚的節目之前，我不知道是兩個小時還是兩個半小時。

Just just a little while ago I decided I'm just gonna go see a doctor.

就在不久前，我決定我就去看醫生。

So I went to the NBC medical center here in the building to visit the doctor.

所以我去了這裡的NBC醫療中心，去看醫生。

And uh I know my fans worry about me.

而且，我知道我的粉絲擔心我。

So uh I just pretend.

所以，呃，我只是假裝。

And so so I asked someone to grab a hand held camera and come along with me while I visited the NBC doctor and we just shot this and uh and well here's what happened uh this is Tanya Bennison.

是以，我請人拿了一臺手持攝影機，在我去看NBC醫生的時候和我一起去，我們就拍了這個，嗯，事情是這樣的，嗯，這是譚雅-本尼森。

She's the Associate medical director here at NBC?

她是NBC的副醫療總監？

Universal Medical Services, General electric subsidiary medical unit of G.

通用醫療服務，通用電氣的附屬醫療組織、部門G.

E.

E.

NBC Universal.

NBC環球公司。

Now, if I come distributor um Thanks for seeing me for the last two days.

現在，如果我來分配嗯 謝謝你在過去兩天裡看到我。

I felt not great.

我感覺不是很好。

And then last night feverish sore throat, drank a lot of nyquil, a lot of nyquil and woke up with my pants around my ankles and actually I felt better, sort of the guy I was with.

然後昨晚發燒喉嚨痛，喝了很多nyquil，很多nyquil，醒來時褲子在腳踝上，其實我感覺好多了，算是和我在一起的那個人。

You know, I don't feel busy mostly.

你知道，我主要不覺得忙。

I just feel sort of uninvolved in the political process.

我只是覺得在政治進程中有點無從下手。

I don't really care about.

我其實並不關心。

Do you feel comfortable talking about the stomach stuff that was going on?

你覺得談論當時的胃部情況是否舒服？

Was it nausea?

是噁心嗎？

Diarrhea?

腹瀉？

Like what was what was that symptoms?

比如說那是什麼，那是什麼症狀？

Do you really want me to talk about?

你真的想讓我談談嗎？

Diarrhea on television?

電視上的腹瀉？

I like the word diarrhea.

我喜歡腹瀉這個詞。

I think you like the word diarrhea to you.

我認為你喜歡腹瀉這個詞對你來說。

Like to talk about diarrhea.

喜歡談論腹瀉。

You are an amazing woman.

你是一個了不起的女人。

Do you ever find yourself talking to patients?

你是否曾經發現自己在和病人交談？

And they mentioned that they had diarrhea And you start laughing?

他們提到他們有腹瀉，你就開始笑了？

That's sad when all the joy goes out of your life?

當所有的快樂都從你的生活中消失時，這很可悲？

I think I'm in great shape.

我認為我的狀態很好。

I think I'm an amazing male specimen.

我認為我是一個了不起的男性標本。

Does anyone ever say that anymore?

現在還有人這麼說嗎？

Like you're an amazing male specimen?

就像你是一個了不起的男性標本？

I think so, maybe ingest if this somehow could all end with you saying, well, you're an amazing male specimen and I had that on camera.

我想是的，也許攝取，如果這在某種程度上可以全部結束，你說，嗯，你是一個驚人的男性標本，我在相機上有這個。

That would be great.

那就好了。

But that's you decide to go into the examining room.

但那是你決定進入檢查室。

Okay, let's start with taking your temperature.

好吧，讓我們從測量你的體溫開始。

All right.

好的。

Mhm.

嗯。

This would be very exciting.

這將是非常令人興奮的。

Mhm.

嗯。

Right on 75.

在75號公路上右轉。

You're actually cold.

你其實很冷。

A lot of wax in there.

裡面有很多蠟。

How do we get it out?

我們怎樣才能把它弄出來？

I mean, I tried.

我的意思是，我試過了。

How bad is it?

它有多糟？

You know your canals like this?

你知道你的運河是這樣的嗎？

You're almost 100% included with surprised you can hear anything.

你幾乎百分之百地包括在驚訝之中，你可以聽到任何東西。

Thank you for that.

謝謝你的幫助。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

It always works that.

它總是這樣工作。

one 123.

一個123。

Stick your tongue out ready.

伸出你的舌頭準備。

Do you hate this?

你討厭這樣嗎？

Oh, what are you feeling there was feeling first of all, a lymph nodes, glands, anything tender?

哦，你在那裡感覺到的是什麼，首先是淋巴結，腺體，有什麼觸痛嗎？

Not yet.

還沒有。

Also make sure nothing's growing.

還要確保沒有東西在生長。

Have to lift up the back of your shirt.

必須把衣服的背面抬起來。

There's a tattoo there.

那裡有一個紋身。

It says R.

上面寫著R。

E.

E.

O.

O.

Speedwagon rules 1978.

1978年，Speedwagon規則。

I thought that band was gonna go the distance.

我以為那個樂隊會走得更遠。

Okay.

好的。

All right, lungs are clear.

好了，肺部沒有問題。

I want as much medication as I could possibly have.

我想要儘可能多的藥物，因為我可能擁有。

Really?

真的嗎？

Do you have You know sometimes you hear about like, oh, there's a cool Tylenol that they only sell in Sweden that has codeine in it with a little bit of cocaine and marijuana.

你有沒有......你知道有時你會聽說，哦，有一種很酷的泰諾，他們只在瑞典出售，裡面有可待因，還有一點可卡因和大麻。

Is that something that I know that you guys can help you?

這是我知道的東西，你們可以幫助你們嗎？

Can I have it anyway?

反正我可以擁有它嗎？

I don't want it so badly.

我不太希望如此。

Do you need to listen to my heart for any reason?

你需要聽從我的心聲，有什麼原因嗎？

I don't but I'm happy to would you like to listen to my heart?

我不知道，但我很樂意，你願意傾聽我的心聲嗎？

Don't you listen to my heart.

你不要聽我的心聲。

What if I don't like what I hear?

如果我不喜歡我聽到的東西怎麼辦？

You're going to like what you hear built like a tank.

你會喜歡你所聽到的，像坦克一樣建造。

You're getting a good read on that a little bit.

你在這一點上有了很好的解讀。

You haven't said anything for a while, so completely unrelated to your sore throat.

你已經有一段時間沒有說過話了，所以與你的喉嚨痛完全沒有關係。

Do you have much of our prolapse or anything?

你有很多我們的脫髮或什麼嗎？

Anyone told you What's the prolapse?

有沒有人告訴你什麼是脫肛？

It's one of the valves in the heart.

它是心臟中的一個瓣膜。

Just a little bit floppy.

只是有點軟弱無力。

I just came here to shoot.

我只是來這裡拍攝的。

I came here to shoot like a silly little.

我來到這裡，像一個愚蠢的小拍。

I've got a cold and we're gonna just screw around.

我得了感冒，我們就在這裡亂搞。

You're telling me something real, but it's nothing.

你告訴我一些真實的東西，但這並不重要。

You don't have a murmur or anything.

你沒有雜音或任何東西。

Okay.

好的。

I have a floppy heart.

我有一顆軟弱的心。

I have a lot of tension in my job.

我的工作中存在著很多緊張的因素。

I have a lot of inner rage.

我內心有很多憤怒的情緒。

I'm irish catholic stock and we're we don't do well in the long run.

我是愛爾蘭的天主教徒，從長遠來看，我們是做不好的。

We're not people that live a long time.

我們不是活得很久的人。

Would you like to see me do some push ups right now.

你想看看我現在做一些俯臥撐嗎。

A little petite?

有一點嬌小？

All right.

好的。

What do you think I'm a pretty good male.

你認為我是一個相當好的男性。

Really fantastic.

真的很奇妙。

I think maybe male specimen, you think maybe I'm a male specimen now you say.

我認為也許是男性標本，你認為也許我是男性標本，現在你說。

I think you're a male specimen.

我認為你是一個男性標本。

It means my gender is a little in question.

這意味著我的性別有點問題。

Yes, please thank you.

是的，請謝謝你。

This stuff for you.

這個東西給你。

This is the sort of wimpy Sudafed because we can't really get the real Sudafed anymore because of the crystal meth problem?

這就是那種懦弱的Sudafed，因為我們真的不能再得到真正的Sudafed了，因為水晶安非他命問題？

So I can't make crystal meth out of this.

所以我不能用這個來做水晶安非他命。

That's okay, then.

那就好了。

You think I'm gonna be okay?

你認為我會好起來嗎？

I think so.

我想是的。

Okay.

好的。

And the floppy heart, I mean that was a bit of a bump in the road but what I thought was gonna be just a quick fun remote, I need a new heart if anyone's watching and I think you'll live at least 2 65 65 wow, that gives me four more years.

還有那顆軟塌塌的心臟，我是說那是路上的一個小插曲，但我以為只是一個快速的有趣的遠程，我需要一個新的心臟，如果有人在看的話，我想你至少能活到2 65 65哇，這讓我多了四年。

Conan O'brien is a fantastic male specimen.

柯南-奧布萊恩是一個神奇的男性標本。

How do you feel now?

你現在感覺如何？

I've got a fluffy heart.

我有一顆鬆軟的心。

Alright, everybody take a little break and come back.

好了，大家休息一下再回來吧。

You gotta see this, the great Houdini, everyone.

你一定要看看這個，偉大的胡迪尼，各位。