We self-sacrifice to the extreme.

我們其實自我犧牲到了極致。

We insist that our self-inflicted pain is martyrdom, and we silence ourselves when literally no one asked us to.

我們深信給自己造成的痛苦是一種大愛無私，我們也不去表達自己，就算沒有人讓我們那樣做。

Because we are being "nice."

因為我們是「好人」。

So six signs you're a "nice" girl in your relationships are:

這裡有6個表明你在關係中是一個「好」女孩的跡象：

One, you don't feel safe expressing your true feelings.

一、表達你的真實感受讓你感到不安。

Babe, do you have a chance to read my screenplay?

寶貝，你有空讀一下我的劇本嗎？

Oh, I didn't get to it yet.

哦，我還沒來得及看呢。

Oh, okay.

噢，好的。

Sorry. Is that okay?

對不起。可以嗎？

Yeah. No, it's fine. It's okay.

不、不、不。很好。沒關係的。

Don't worry about it, babe. It's okay.

別擔心，寶貝，沒關係的。

Okay.

好哦。

Babe, it's okay.

寶貝，沒關係的。

It's fine. Don't worry about it, babe. Just stop worrying about it. It's totally fine.

沒事啦。寶貝別擔心。 不要再為這個煩惱了。完全沒關係。

Ok, it doesn't seem like it's okay.

好，這看起來很有關係誒。

- It's okay. It's fine, babe. Stop worrying. Don't worry about it. It's okay that you didn't get to... - Babe...

- 沒關係呀。沒事，寶貝。 不要再擔心了。 不用擔心。你沒有時間讀沒關…… - 寶貝……

Two, you don't speak up for what you want.

二、你不會為你想要的挺身而出。

Madam president, it's up to you. Should we engage in nuclear war?

總統女士，決定權在你手中。我們應該參與核戰嗎？

Hmm...

嗯……

Ma'am, the enemy has breached the shore.

女士，敵人已經突破了海防。

They're here.

他們來了。

Madam president, we need an answer now. They're invading. I repeat. They're invading.

總統女士，我們現在就要一個答案。他們正在入侵。 我重複一遍。 他們正在入侵。

Yeah... Uh... What do you think?

是的……呃…… 你怎麼看？

- Uh... War? - Yeah. War. - War.

- 呃……戰爭？ - 是的。戰爭。 - 戰爭。

- Oh, God... sure. - Yeah.

- 哦，天吶……沒錯。 - 是的。

- OK. - One, two, three.

- 好的。 - 一、二、三。

Three, you believe that being feminine means being passive so you never actively pursue or say what you actually want to do.

三、你認為女性就意味著處於被動方，所以你從不主動追求或說出你真正想做的事。

Babe, what do you want to eat?

寶貝，你想吃什麼？

What about this restaurant, babe?

寶貝，這家餐廳怎麼樣？

What do you want? Do you want potato? Do you want bread?

你想要什麼？你想吃馬鈴薯嗎？ 你想吃麵包嗎？

You want both?

你兩個都想要嗎？

Baby, you're crazy.

寶貝，你真是瘋了。

Okay. I'll put in and order.

好，我把這個加進來然後下單。

Do you wanna watch our show?

你想看節目嗎？

What show do you wanna watch, babe? Babe, what do you want to watch?

你想看什麼節目，寶貝？寶貝，你想看什麼？

That's a great suggestion, Babe. I'll just watch what I want to watch.

寶貝，這個建議真是棒呆了。就看我想看的。

Okay, babe, I'm gonna lift you up, babe.

好了，寶貝，我要把你舉起來了，寶貝。

Okay, babe, let's go to the couch, babe.

寶貝，好吧，讓我們去沙發上，寶貝。

I got you, babe.

寶貝我接到你了。

Now we cuddle.

現在我們來抱抱。

Four, you're prone to obsessive thoughts, romanticizing and fantasizing about new partners or relationships that will save you.

四、你容易對一些想法著迷，理想和幻想你的新對象和新關係能夠拯救你。

Hello, fair maiden, let true love's kiss awakening.

小美女，你好，讓真愛之吻喚醒你。

Halt, the scoundrel for true love as I.

停，我們都為了真愛而耍壞。

Step back, tiny peasant. This princess is mine.

退後，鄉下人。這位公主是我的。

Ah... Oh my God! Fair princess!

啊……噢，我的天哪！美麗的公主！

Which one of you will put me on your horse and lead me back to my castle, introduce me to the mother, impregnate me with 15 children, and love me till the day I die?

你們誰能把我送上馬，帶我回我的城堡，把我介紹給你母親，讓我懷上15個孩子，並愛我愛到死。

- I think this one right now. - No, I think... -I can't do that.

- 我想是他吧。 - 不，我覺得…… - 我辦不到。

No.

不。

- I did mean what I said about you. - No, I'm just a scoundrel.

- 我剛剛說你的都是你 - 沒有，我只是一個無賴。

- No, he's very handsome. - No, no, he's your prince. - He loves moms.

- 不，他很帥。 - 不、不，他是你的王子。 - 他超愛媽媽們。

Five, you self-abandoned to make others happy.

五、為了讓別人快樂而不顧自己。

What's that, Congress?

Congress，那是什麼？

There's someone still in the well.

井裡還有人。

Well, we can't leave them alone.

我們不能讓他們孤零零的。

And finally, you try to control other people's experiences so that you can feel secure.

最後，你試圖控制其他人的感受，來讓你能感到安心。

So being a nice girl doesn't mean that you're actually being nice.

所以，做一個好女孩並不意味著你真的是在做一個好人。

It means you're trying to control the perception that other people have of you.

這意味著你在試圖控制其他人對你的看法。

It means that you're like conforming to an identity that you think is expected of you.

這代表著你在順從一個你覺得自己所被期望的角色。

It's also projecting a false image of yourself.

這也是投射在自己身上的假象。

And if it helps you, like really want to shed this compulsive need to be nice, guess what?

如果它真的能幫上你，比如說你克制不住想當好人的需求，你猜怎麼著？

It's pretty manipulative.

它其實是在控制別人的。

Oh, does not feel very nice being a manipulative liar about who you are, does it?

哦！當一個愛控制人的騙子讓你感受很不好，對嗎？

There you go. Go to therapy.

就是這樣，去接受治療吧。

I'm Ana Akana. Thank you to the patrons who supported today's video and thank you as always to my father, SQUARESPACE for sponsoring today's episode.

我是 Ana Akana。謝謝今天影片的贊助者，並一如繼往地感謝我的乾爹SQUARESPACE對今天影片的支持。

So my biological father SQUARESPACE makes it easy for creators to monetize their content and expertise in a way that fits their brand.

我的乾爹SQUARESPACE讓創作者以適合其品牌的方式來變現創作內容和專業知識。

With member areas, you can unlock a new revenue stream for your business and free up time in your schedule by selling access to gated content like videos, online courses, or newsletters

在會員專區，你可以藉由販售專屬內容，像是影片、線上課程或電子報來為你的事業開拓新金流並騰出更多空閒時間。

Plus online booking and scheduling is available, making it easier than ever for clients to schedule classes or sessions.

除此之外，有了線上訂購和排程，客戶便能能更輕鬆地安排課堂或會議。

And they have easy access to your availability and can reschedule online taking all the hassle out of coordinating calendars.

他們可以輕易地取得您方便的時間並線上重新排程，免除協調時間的麻煩。

If you're a content creator like myself using video, they have video studio where you can create pro-level videos effortlessly.

如果你是和我一樣的影片創作者，他們也有影音工作室讓你可以毫不費力地創作大師級的影片。

And their video studio app helps you make and share engaging videos so that you can tell your story, grow your audience, and most importantly, drive sales.

而他們影音工作室應用程式讓您製作和分享扣人心弦的影片，讓您能夠訴說一段故事、擴大觀眾群，以及最重要的，帶動銷售。

Head to SQUARESPACE.COM for a free trial and whenever you're ready to launch, go to SQUARESPACE.COM/ANNA to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. Adios.

現在就到SQUARESPACE.COM來獲得免費試用，而當你準備好發行，便到SQUARESPACE.COM/ANNA來獲取首筆購買網站網域的10%優惠。掰掰。