So now, I'm running.

所以現在，我在跑步。

And I have no plan.

而且我沒有計劃。

And no idea where I was heading.

也不知道我在往哪裡走。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

And my heart is literally just pounding through my chest

我的心簡直要跳到胸口了

to the point where I think I'm actually

以至於我認為我實際上是在

going to have a heart attack.

將會有一次心臟病發作。

I just kept repeating to myself in my head I was like, I just--

我只是在腦海中不斷重複自己的想法，我就像，我只是------。

I just can't get caught.

我只是不能被抓住。

I can't get caught.

我不能被抓。

Stop!

停止！

Stop!

停止！

I've got into sort of like this undergrowth.

我已經進入了有點像這種灌木叢。

And I was getting scratched all over my face and my arms.

我的臉和胳膊都被抓傷了。

[heartbeat thumping]

[心跳怦怦作響]

I've come out the other side.

我已經從另一邊走出來了。

And you know, I'm like a yard.

而且你知道，我就像一個院子。

And I've seen a hole in the fence.

我還看到圍牆上有個洞。

I'm halfway through this hole.

我在這個洞裡已經走了一半。

I think I'm going to make it.

我想我一定會成功的。

[gun cocking]

[槍聲響起]

And then I hear this voice.

然後我聽到這個聲音。

Stop.

停止。

Don't move.

不要動。

And at that point, I knew it was over.

而在那一刻，我知道一切都結束了。

I knew if I'd done any sort of sharp movements

我知道如果我做了任何形式的劇烈運動

and that he's probably going to pull the trigger, you know?

而且他很可能會扣動扳機，你知道嗎？

And I'd be dead.

而我已經死了。

He then kicks me.

然後他踢了我。

And before I know it, there's like three or four of them.

在我知道之前，他們有三四個人。

They're all just like kicking me.

他們都像在踢我。

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

They marched me back to the vehicle.

他們把我押回了車上。

Then, I'm seeing O just casually chatting

然後，我看到O君只是隨意地聊了幾句

to this police officer.

對這個警察來說。

And I was just in complete shock.

而我只是完全震驚。

He betrayed me massively, like probably

他大規模地背叛了我，比如說可能是

the biggest betrayal you could have

最大的背叛，你可以有

in that-- in that business.

在那個......在那個行業。

I was just seething.

我只是在發火。

I was fuming inside.

我心裡很生氣。

I just wanted to grab hold of him.

我只想抓住他。

But the future wasn't in my hands.

但未來並不在我手中。

They give, you know, life sentences,

他們給予，你知道，終身監禁。

and you know, the death sentence for drugs in Thailand.

而且你知道，在泰國，毒品是要判死刑的。

And I am like completely [bleep] to be honest.

說實話，我就像完全[嗶]了一下。

So after that, I was taken to a safe house.

所以在那之後，我被帶到了一個安全屋。

You know, my mind just still going round and round

你知道，我的思想還在不停地轉來轉去

and doing somersaults.

並做翻筋斗動作。

I remember thinking I'd come to Thailand, you

我記得我曾想過要來泰國，你

know, start a new life, build the relationship back

知道，開始新的生活，重新建立關係。

up with my dad.

與我的父親一起長大。

And here I was.

而我就在這裡。

My dad would find out the hard way when any word got around

當任何消息傳開時，我父親會發現這是很困難的事情。

about what had just happened.

關於剛剛發生的事情。

You know, I was just left handcuffed to this bed.

你知道，我只是被銬在這張床上。

And I was there all night.

而我整晚都在那裡。

And my body was craving ice.

而我的身體卻渴望吃冰。

I was going through like cold turkey, basically.

我正在經歷像冷火雞一樣的過程，基本上。

There's only one place that I'll be going.

我只有一個地方要去。

They call it a Monkey House, a hell hole, basically.

他們稱其為 "猴屋"，基本上是一個地獄洞。

[speaking thai]

[說泰語]

You know, they eventually put me back in the truck.

你知道，他們最終把我放回了卡車上。

[speaking thai]

[說泰語]

And they drove me to a prison in Bangkok.

他們把我送到曼谷的一所監獄。

[dog barking]

[狗叫聲]

I remember seeing like the wall.

我記得看到像牆一樣的東西。

I just didn't know what was on the other side.

我只是不知道另一邊是什麼。

That was the scary bit.

這是最可怕的一點。

Are they going to sort of target me?

他們會不會以我為目標？

Is anything can happen to me?

我是否會發生什麼事？

This could be my future for, you know, a very long time.

這可能是我的未來，你知道，很長一段時間。

I didn't know how long.

我不知道有多長時間。

[speaking thai]

[說泰語]

And they basically said take all your clothes off.

他們基本上說把你的衣服都脫掉。

It felt awful.

這感覺很糟糕。

Your self-dignity is just gone.

你的自尊心就這樣消失了。

And they're sort of checking in my mouth, in my genital area.

他們在我的嘴裡，在我的生殖器部位進行檢查。

Just don't even feel like you're a person anymore.

只是甚至不覺得自己是一個人了。

You know?

你知道嗎？

You just feel like a bit of meat that, you know,

你只是覺得自己是一塊肉，你知道。

you're just being treated that way.

你只是被這樣對待。

This place was just like, you know, a living hell hole.

這個地方就像，你知道，一個活生生的地獄洞。

And this was now my new reality.

而這就是我現在的新現實。

The officer has taken me to the cell block.

警官已經把我帶到了牢房。

Got all these prisoners, you know, they're

有所有這些囚犯，你知道，他們是

[speaking thai],, which is like Thai

[講泰語]，，這就像泰語。

for-- they say for foreigner.

他們說是給外國人的。

And I remember looking over and seeing

我記得我看過去，看到

two Thai inmates in front of this guard

兩名泰國囚犯在這名警衛面前。

who was holding a stick.

他正拿著一根棍子。

The next minute, and he's just smashed it down

下一分鐘，他就把它砸下來了

on the fingertips of the inmate.

在囚犯的指尖上。

He's going to smash, smash, smash.

他要打碎，打碎，打碎。

No emotion at all.

完全沒有感情。

At that point, I thought there's no way I want

在這一點上，我想我不可能想要

to be causing trouble in there.

在那裡造成麻煩。

That's for sure.

那是肯定的。

It was actually dark at that point.

實際上那時候天已經黑了。

So it's like, what now?

所以就像，現在怎麼辦？

And then, one of the guys, he was like, you.

然後，其中一個傢伙，他說，你。

He's like, you sit here.

他說，你坐在這裡。

[speaking thai]

[說泰語]

It was just so crammed.

它只是如此擁擠。

And like, there was just no space at all in there.

而且，那裡根本就沒有空間。

I was sleeping on a hard cold floor with a water bottle

我帶著水壺睡在堅硬冰冷的地板上

as-- as my pillow.

作為--作為我的枕頭。

It was just soul destroying.

這簡直是對靈魂的摧殘。

I felt really agitated.

我感到非常煩躁。

I was getting the cold sweats because my body

我被嚇出了一身冷汗，因為我的身體

was still craving ice.

仍然渴望著冰塊。

[moaning]

[呻吟聲]

Got this guy, at the same point, shouting.

得到了這個人，在同一個點上，大喊大叫。

And you know, he's having some sort of nightmare.

而且你知道，他正在做某種惡夢。

[shouting]

[喊叫聲]

That was the most depressed and helpless

那是最令人沮喪和無助的

that I've ever felt in my life, to be honest, at that point.

說實話，在那個時候，我有過這種感覺。

Everything that I'd heard about what these Thai

我所聽說的關於這些泰國人的一切

prisons were like, it was true.

監獄是這樣的，這是真的。

And it was happening, you know, in front of my eyes.

而且它正在發生，你知道，在我的眼前。

And it's like your worst nightmare.

而這就像你最糟糕的噩夢。

[music playing]

[音樂響起]