Tonight, we're gonna have a good one.

今晚，我們將有一個很好的機會。

No, that's the wrong sketch.

不，那是錯誤的草圖。

That's another mug based sketch I was involved in.

這是我參與的另一個基於杯子的草圖。

It's a glue this mug guys, I like mugs.

這是一個膠水這杯傢伙，我喜歡杯子。

Hey Conan here with Andy, another edition of Behind the nonsense where we look at uh some of the sketches that seemed to come to mind after all these years.

嘿，柯南在這裡與安迪，另一個版本的背後的廢話，我們看看呃一些草圖，似乎在這些年後的腦海中。

This next sketch we're gonna talk about was written by our own dan Cronin.

接下來我們要談的這個草圖是由我們自己的丹-克羅寧寫的。

Good to see you sir, good to see you cones.

很高興見到你，先生，很高興見到你的錐子。

And also by andre du bouchet, that's right, you two wrote this sketch?

還有安德烈-杜-布謝的作品，對了，你們兩個寫了這個小品？

I haven't seen it yet, I'm just remembering, this is an example of a sketch that the beauty is how far it goes.

我還沒有看到，我只是記住了，這是一個草圖的例子，美在於它有多遠。

I think that's probably fair to say like there's not long enough, perfect length, way too long, way, way too long, and then there's just going for it in a way that starts to redeem itself and become kind of magical.

我認為這可能是公平的，就像有不夠長，完美的長度，太長，太長，太長，然後就是以一種方式去做，開始贖回自己，變得有點神奇。

This is the type of sketch at rehearsal where Andy who can sometimes very quickly just go nah, and that kills it.

這是排練中的那種小品，安迪有時可以非常迅速地說 "不"，而這就把它扼殺了。

This is one of those sketches.

這就是其中的一幅草圖。

This, this is one of those sketches where I gotta do my job.

這，這是我必須做我的工作的那些草圖之一。

Yeah, but this is one of those sketches where Andy goes to you, he looks to you and he goes, we got to do it.

是的，但這是那些安迪去找你的草圖之一，他看著你，他說，我們必須這樣做。

Yeah.

是的。

And so quick note this uh features the performing talents of one of the greats of all time brian stack, brian stack was just a mainstay on the old late night show.

是以，請注意，這個呃的特點是有史以來最偉大的人物之一布萊恩-斯托克的表演才能，布萊恩-斯托克只是舊的深夜節目中的一個主要角色。

He was with us for a long time with the tonight show?

他和我們一起做了很長時間的《今晚》節目？

Not a long time at the tonight show.

在今晚的節目中，時間並不長。

He's with us tonight show and then he was with us a long time at TBS and then he and his family moved back to new york and he's working with Stephen Colbert where he's quite happy, brilliant writer.

他是我們今晚的節目，然後他在TBS和我們一起工作了很長時間，然後他和他的家人搬回了紐約，他和斯蒂芬-科爾伯特一起工作，在那裡他相當開心，是個出色的作家。

But I just wanted to get that shoutout to brian stack who has always did such amazing work with us.

但我只是想向一直為我們做了如此出色工作的布萊恩-斯道克大聲喊話。

Let's take a look at the sketch and then we'll discuss, I notice that the Eisenhower mug that's been on my desk for 22 years just got broken somehow.

我們先看看草圖，然後再討論。我注意到，在我桌上放了22年的艾森豪威爾杯不知怎麼就壞了。

And so I'd like to get it fixed.

是以，我想把它修好。

Can someone glue this can just take a second, can someone glue this mug handle?

誰能粘一下這個罐子就可以了，誰能粘一下這個杯子的把手？

Oh yeah, sure thing Mr O'Brien?

哦，是的，當然，奧布萊恩先生？

Okay, alright, here we go.

好了，好了，我們開始吧。

It's uh larry larry larry, That's right.

是呃，拉里-拉里-拉里，對了。

Larry, yeah.

拉里，是的。

Okay, do you mind doing that for me?

好的，你介意為我這樣做嗎？

All right, thanks a lot.

好的，非常感謝。

I just appreciate it.

我只是欣賞它。

Thank you very much.

非常感謝你。

Larry.

拉里。

Larry.

拉里。

Larry larry larry.

拉里-拉里-拉里。

Okay, I didn't really Okay, let's get to business.

好吧，我不是真的 好吧，讓我們談正事。

There's this viral video going around that everyone's been talking.

有這樣一個病毒性的視頻，大家都在談論。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

Okay, well anyway, this viral videos going around that I wanted to show you guys because it's really larry larry, can you come out here?

好吧，無論如何，這個病毒性的視頻到處流傳，我想讓你們看看，因為它真的是拉里-拉里，你能出來嗎？

Oh yeah, Mr O'brien.

哦，對了，奧布賴恩先生。

Okay, what are you doing back there?

好吧，你在後面做什麼？

Well, I'm just gluing your mug back together, like Yes.

好吧，我只是把你的杯子重新粘在一起，像Yes一樣。

Well, that's that's cool.

嗯，那是那是很酷。

But you're making a lot of noise so it's very noisy.

但是你的聲音很大，所以很吵。

Sorry, I can make less noise if you want it less glued.

對不起，如果你想讓它少點膠水，我可以少點噪音。

No.

沒有。

Okay, just do what you gotta do.

好吧，就做你該做的。

But could you hurry it up if you can.

但如果可以的話，你能不能快點。

You got it mr O'brien.

你知道的，奧布賴恩先生。

And trust me, I know what I'm doing.

相信我，我知道我在做什麼。

That's why they hired me.

這就是他們僱用我的原因。

Okay.

好的。

I glue mug handles.

我把馬克杯的把手粘起來。

Ok.

好的。

Seems unnecessary.

似乎沒有必要。

Okay.

好的。

Here's what?

這裡是什麼？

Yeah, there's this viral video.

是的，有這個病毒視頻。

Thats what I want to talk about.

這就是我想談的。

Here's your mug mr O'brien include just like you wanted.

這是你的杯子，奧布賴恩先生，包括如你所願。

Yeah.

是的。

Forget the mug.

忘掉杯子吧。

What happened to Larry?

拉里怎麼了？

Larry's dead.

拉里已經死了。

Oh my God, we told him to take his time.

哦，我的上帝，我們告訴他要慢慢來。

That safety comes first.

安全是第一位的。

But then Larry's exact words were screw safety.

但後來拉里的原話是：螺絲釘安全。

Conan needs this mug.

柯南需要這個杯子。

Asap.

儘快。

He was my son's godfather.

他是我兒子的教父。

Okay, wait a minute.

好吧，等一下。

How long did this guy work here?

這傢伙在這裡工作了多長時間？

Today was his first day.

今天是他第一天上班。

Okay, what is it?

好吧，是什麼呢？

What is?

什麼是？

What is all this mr Richter.

里克特先生的這一切是什麼？

We just want to thank you to you and your family for all the beautiful flowers and of course, the edible arrangements.

我們只想感謝你和你的家人，感謝你所有美麗的鮮花，當然還有可食用的安排。

Well, you know, it's the least I could do for Larry.

好吧，你知道，這是我至少可以為拉里做的。

He's one of the greatest mug blowers.

他是最偉大的吹杯者之一。

The industry has ever known without further ado, please welcome us Secretary of Education.

該行業有史以來，沒有進一步的瞭解，請歡迎我們的教育部長。

Helen Beaumont.

海倫-博蒙特（Helen Beaumont）。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

In addition to gluing Hollywood mugs for over 30 years.

除了為好萊塢的馬克杯上膠之外，還做了30多年的工作。

Lawrence Jorgensen was a tireless advocate for musical education through his program.

勞倫斯-喬根森通過他的項目為音樂教育做出了不懈的倡導。

Toots for tots.

嬰兒的嘟嘟聲。

Larry donated woodwind instruments to over 400,000 students across the United States today we welcome several Tooting Tots representing the Burbank school district playing an original composition entitled greatest mug guy ever.

拉里向全美國40多萬名學生捐贈了木管樂器，今天我們歡迎幾位代表伯班克學區的 "嘟嘟寶貝 "演奏題為 "有史以來最偉大的泥人 "的原創作品。

Please note for most of these students, tonight is their first time picking up a musical instrument and it's all thanks to Larry, you know, I'm sorry those kids are kind of old to be called Tots and I think they should practice before you let them on television and you're right, this has gone on a little too long Mr O'brien, Please enjoy this brief tribute video, handsome Georgian soon.

請注意，對於這些學生中的大多數人來說，今晚是他們第一次拿起樂器，這一切都要感謝拉里，你知道，我很抱歉，這些孩子被稱為Tots有點老了，我認為他們應該在你讓他們上電視之前進行練習，你是對的，這已經有點太長了，O'brien先生，請欣賞這個簡短的致敬視頻，英俊的喬治亞人很快。

What are the things going on?

有什麼事情發生了？

That guy just died?

那個人剛剛死了？

How did you have time to make that thing?

你怎麼會有時間做那個東西？

We're always thinking ahead mr Alright, okay, we're going to take a break.

我們總是提前考慮到mr 好吧，好吧，我們要休息一下。

I'm gonna figure out just what the hell just happened when we come back, keith Urban's here, there is so much to talk about, keith Urban, that's the funniest part, The funniest part.

等我們回來的時候，我要弄清楚剛才到底發生了什麼，凱斯-厄本在這裡，有很多事情要談，凱斯-厄本，這是最有趣的部分，最有趣的部分。

Urban, well the funniest part is keith Urban had to sit through that, I have to say, I have to say that the purpose or almost the mission statement of the show from the very beginning was imagine people at home seeing this, this went into people's homes and they're watching it and my mug breaks and someone goes to help it and then this whole thing keeps unfolding until he's a Norse God in Iraq, I didn't know somewhere, I might have it.

烏爾班，好吧，最有趣的部分是凱斯-烏爾班不得不坐在那裡，我不得不說，我不得不說，從一開始這個節目的目的或幾乎是任務聲明是想象人們在家裡看到這個，這進入了人們的家庭，他們正在看它，我的杯子打破了，有人去幫助它，然後這整個事情一直展開，直到他在伊拉克是一個北歐神，我不知道在哪裡，我可能有它。

There's footage of you at rehearsal when you come right out of it and you're grabbing your eyes and you're just you're trying to say something and kona goes what goes on So fucking log.

有一段你在排練時的錄像，當你從排練中出來時，你抓住你的眼睛，你只是你想說些什麼，科納就說什麼了，所以他媽的日誌。

Oh my God, that's hilarious.

哦，我的上帝，這太搞笑了。

And the fact that that was beamed into people's homes and it was supported by these big companies with all this money.

而事實上，這被傳送到了人們的家裡，而且是由這些大公司用所有這些錢支持的。

I mean General Motors used to have the same feeling back at NBC which is we would take all this money that was generated by shows that were really popular like Friends and and right down the middle, you know.

我的意思是，通用汽車公司過去在NBC也有同樣的感覺，那就是我們會把所有這些由真正受歡迎的節目產生的錢拿出來，比如《朋友》和正中間，你知道。

Yeah.

是的。

And we would take all the money that was generated by that stuff and they would give us some of it and we would take it and go thanks a lot and then beam this stuff that nobody asked for.

我們會拿著那些東西產生的所有錢，他們會給我們一些錢，我們會拿著這些錢去感謝很多人，然後把這些沒有人要求的東西拿出來。

Well that's what I mean.

嗯，這就是我的意思。

So many of us watch started watching you because of that.

我們中的許多人都是因為這個原因開始關注你。

Because there there there were so many things that started off with mundane little things.

因為那裡有很多事情是以平凡的小事開始的。

A person coming through and you don't know what's going to happen.

一個人走過來，你不知道會發生什麼。

I used to always call it.

我以前總是叫它。

This is a schedule.

這是一個時間表。

I have to be Mr Mooney because you do need in comedy, The Oliver hardy or Mr Mooney's the cranky banker in Lucille ball's I think second or third tv show and he was always like Lucille.

我必須是穆尼先生，因為你確實需要在喜劇中，奧利弗-哈迪或穆尼先生是露西爾-鮑爾的我認為是第二或第三部電視節目中的暴躁的銀行家，他總是像露西爾。

What are you doing Lucille?

你在做什麼，露西爾？

And so I would go from a silly person to what it's called for guys?

是以，我會從一個愚蠢的人變成一個叫什麼的傢伙？

What's Yeah, do we have to Shouldn't those Children?

什麼是 是的，我們必須要有那些孩子嗎？

They're not really, shouldn't they practice their Lucille, but I always thought it would be good to have a montage of you over the years.

他們不是真的，不應該練習他們的露西爾嗎？但我總覺得這些年來有一個關於你的蒙太奇是好的。

Just going, who the hell are you?

剛走，你到底是誰？

Yeah, because so many of our sketches are, I would say 60% of our non topical, silly, pure, silly late at night sketches are me conducting business saying, well anyway, we've got a great, oh, excuse me, who are you?

是的，因為我們的很多小品都是，我想說我們60%的非主題性的、愚蠢的、純粹的、愚蠢的深夜小品都是我在開展業務，說，無論如何，我們有一個偉大的，哦，對不起，你是誰？

My name's Mr please, I'm trying to do a show and then they would make an outrageous request.

我的名字叫請先生，我想做一個節目，然後他們會提出一個很過分的要求。

Like, all I want to do is build my birdhouse, can you help me?

比如，我想做的就是建造我的鳥巢，你能幫我嗎？

And I'd say, well, we've got mary Tyler moore coming up, but Okay, or keith Urban Urban.

我會說，好吧，我們已經有瑪麗-泰勒-摩爾來了，但好吧，或者凱斯-烏爾班-烏爾班。

Yeah, I will say one thing about Andre du bouchet who have written a lot of stuff with, he doesn't love to collaborate, that's not his thing.

是的，我要說的是關於安德烈-杜-布謝的一件事，他已經寫了很多東西，他不喜歡合作，那不是他的事。

He likes to write his own ship.

他喜歡寫自己的船。

But when you sit down with him and you write something with him, he's the most fun, generous.

但是當你和他坐下來，和他一起寫東西時，他是最有趣的，最慷慨的。

It's never gonna be hedged in by fear from a writer's perspective, to do a sketch like that, that's the you're using the meat of the entire building.

從作家的角度來看，它永遠不會被恐懼所對沖，要做這樣的草圖，那是你在用整個建築的肉。

You have scott chronic getting you those norse outfits?

你讓斯考特長期給你買那些北歐人的衣服？

That little barge?

那艘小駁船？

That stack was put on was actually a miniature.

那堆被放上的其實是一個縮影。

So they built a little like a pool and we pushed that and then green screened them onto that.

所以他們建了一個有點像游泳池的地方，我們把它推到了上面，然後把它們綠化在上面。

We have all the props for the crew guys.

我們為船員們準備了所有的道具。

There's just so much basically money that could have put a deserving child through college.

基本上有那麼多的錢可以讓一個有能力的孩子讀完大學。

I went to every bullshit reality.

我去了每一個狗屁的現實。

One of those kids playing those recorders, that's probably 800 bucks a kid, you know, like just right there like that's you know, okay.

其中一個孩子玩那些木笛，那可能是800美元一個孩子，你知道，就在那裡，就像那是你知道的，好的。

I didn't know that I was sitting down with the accounting department.

我不知道我是和會計部門坐在一起的。

Well, what I want to say about a bit like that is that it represents I think something personal too us as the people that we are the kind of people that we are who end up being on tv making this kind of thing, which is we're weird and this is weird and this is going out and part of that that going out is like knowing there's a lot of people who are gonna go, what the fucky is that?

好吧，我想說的是，它代表了我認為是我們個人的東西，我們是那種最終在電視上製作這種東西的人，也就是我們很奇怪，這很奇怪，這要出去，而這種出去的一部分就像知道有很多人要去，這他媽的是什麼？

Why am I watching this?

為什麼我在看這個？

What is going on here?

這裡發生了什麼事？

Perhaps there's an ounce of like, you know, that's what kind of makes it fun for us and for the people that really like it.

也許有一盎司的喜歡，你知道，這就是那種使我們和真正喜歡它的人感到有趣的東西。

But it's us calling out to those other weirdos who know that they're different, you know, because that's like that sketch is the definition of not for everyone, you know what it is Exactly us.

但這是我們向其他那些知道自己與眾不同的怪人發出的呼喚，你知道，因為那就像那個小品是不適合所有人的定義，你知道它是什麼 正是我們。

That sketch is a is a very strange club with very odd food and really loud music.

那幅素描是一個非常奇怪的俱樂部，有非常奇怪的食物和非常響亮的音樂。

Yeah.

是的。

Wait, so you wrote a sketch called fix this?

等等，所以你寫了一個草圖叫修復這個？

No, I did not.

不，我沒有。

That's not true.

這不是真的。

That was suddenly, yes.

那是突然的，是的。

There's where's Cohn's mug is missing.

那裡是科恩的杯子丟失的地方。

Yes.

是的。

There's a fix this mug and there's a glue this mug.

有一個修復這個杯子，也有一個膠水這個杯子。

No, Yes, no.

不，是的，不。

Yes.

是的。

Welcome to the Nuremberg trial.

歡迎來到紐倫堡審判。

You seem very you seem very defensive through this mug and fix this mugger.

通過這次搶劫，你似乎非常你似乎非常防守，並解決這個搶劫者。

The same sketch.

同樣的草圖。

No further questions your honor.

沒有進一步的問題了，法官大人。

You can't say that I'm not a defendant.

你不能說我不是被告。