[Crew Member] Well, you do the setup.

[船員]好吧，你來設置。

(beep) (hand slapping)

(嗶嗶聲) (拍手聲)

Aha!

Aha!

Your shoulder's gotten soft.

你的肩膀變軟了。

Hasn't been slapped and slapped for 15 months.

15個月來沒有被打過耳光，也沒有被扇過耳光。

That's right. It healed.

這是正確的。它痊癒了。

(beep)

(嗶嗶聲)

You're still getting all of this, right?

你仍然得到這一切，對嗎？

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

Hey, Conan O'Brien here for another edition

嘿，柯南-奧布萊恩又來了，又是一期

of Behind the Nonsense.

的胡說八道背後。

This is where we explore some of the tomfoolery

這就是我們探討一些愚蠢行為的地方

behind the scenes, how things got made,

在幕後，事情是如何做成的。

and we discuss very loosely how it all happened

我們非常鬆散地討論這一切是如何發生的

with the people who made it happen.

與使之發生的人。

And I'm sitting here with two terrific writers,

而我坐在這裡，與兩位了不起的作家在一起。

Jesse Gaskell, hey, Jessie.

傑西-加斯克爾，嘿，傑西。

Hey, Conan.

嘿，柯南。

Jose Arroyo.

何塞-阿羅約。

Hey, Conan.

嘿，柯南。

And you seemed uncomfortable.

而你似乎很不舒服。

I was just saying, "Hey, Conan."

我只是說，"嘿，柯南"。

Okay. I love to try and make him...

好吧，我喜歡嘗試讓他...

Should we take it again?

我們是否應該再接再厲？

No, we're gonna stick with that. I love that.

不，我們要堅持這樣做。我喜歡這樣。

"Hey, Conan."

"嘿，柯南。"

Anyway, I don't mean to embarrass you,

總之，我不是想讓你難堪。

but you're excellent writers and you have come with me

但你們是優秀的作家，你們和我一起走過。

on every single travel show.

在每一個旅遊節目中。

Whenever we go anywhere in the world

每當我們去世界任何地方

for Conan Without Borders,

為柯南無國界。

this is a core of my writing team,

這是我寫作團隊的一個核心。

along with Mr. Mike Sweeney.

與Mike Sweeney先生一起。

We're gonna talk now about the cold open

我們現在要談一談冷門的問題

for the Mexico show.

為墨西哥的演出。

Yes.

是的。

We went to Mexico City and we did a show.

我們去了墨西哥城，做了一場演出。

And just to set the table,

而且，只是為了擺平這件事。

Donald Trump was elected president in 2016.

唐納德-特朗普在2016年當選為總統。

He said he was gonna build a wall

他說他要建一堵牆

and Mexico would pay for it.

而墨西哥將為此付出代價。

It stirred up, I think, a lot of xenophobia

我認為，它激起了很多排外的情緒

about Mexico and the border.

關於墨西哥和邊境。

And so this is 2017 and we decided

是以，這是2017年，我們決定

we should go to Mexico City and do a show

我們應該去墨西哥城做一場演出

and do it with the help of the Mexican people

並在墨西哥人民的幫助下做到這一點

who work in the television industry.

在電視行業工作的人。

So this was the cold open to that show.

所以這是那個節目的冷場。

Why don't we show it then we'll talk about it?

我們為什麼不把它展示出來，然後我們再來討論它？

Sure.

當然。

And the show in general. Let's take a look.

以及該節目的總體情況。讓我們來看看。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

(audience clapping)

(觀眾鼓掌)

(Mexican trumpet music)

(墨西哥小號音樂)

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

(audience cheering)

(觀眾歡呼)

Hi.

你好。

Buenos tardes. Pasaporte.

再見。禮物。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

There you go.

你去吧。

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

It's O'Brien. Conan O'Brien, I'm him.

是奧布萊恩。柯南-奧布萊恩，我是他。

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

The comedian.

這位喜劇演員。

TV host. Doing a big show in Mexico City.

電視主持人。在墨西哥城做了一個大型節目。

Check it out.

看看吧。

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

(man speaking Spanish)

(男人說西班牙語)

[Officer] Could you please step out of line, sir?

[警官]請你出列，先生？

Uh, okay.

呃，好的。

We have a new policy.

我們有一項新政策。

Americans are subject to extreme vetting.

美國人要接受極端的審查。

Extreme vetting?

極端審查？

You might just be one of those bad hombres.

你可能只是那些壞男人中的一員。

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

Look, I see what you're doing, all right?

聽著，我知道你在做什麼，好嗎？

We got some new people running the United States

我們有一些新的人在管理美國

and that's created some tension between our countries,

而這在我們國家之間造成了一些緊張。

but you can't lump all Americans into one group.

但你不能把所有美國人都歸入一個群體。

It's not fair. It's stereotyping.

這是不公平的。這是有成見的。

(officers laughing) (audience laughing)

(官員笑) (觀眾笑)

(man speaking Spanish)

(男人說西班牙語)

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

(Conan laughing nervously)

(柯南緊張地笑著)

Bienvenido a Mexico.

Bienvenido a Mexico.

Gracias. Thank you so much.

謝謝。非常感謝你。

(dog growling)

(狗的咆哮聲)

(dramatic music)

(戲劇性的音樂)

Okay, that's my favorite sunscreen.

好吧，這是我最喜歡的防晒霜。

I wasn't sure if you guys would have good Mexican food.

我不確定你們是否會有好的墨西哥食物。

(audience groaning)

(觀眾呻吟聲)

I stayed there like 15 years ago, okay?

我15年前就在那裡呆過，好嗎？

And I stole the towel.

我還偷了毛巾。

(dog growling)

(狗的咆哮聲)

That is yours to keep and I'll just see myself

這是你的，我只看我自己。

through the border.

通過邊界。

This is a great, great gate.

這是一個偉大的、偉大的大門。

(dog barking)

(狗叫聲)

(Mexican trumpet music)

(墨西哥小號音樂)

(audience applauding)

(觀眾鼓掌)

Okay, I don't know if you can see all the way to the end,

好吧，我不知道你是否能一直看到最後。

but I don't know if that's the take

但我不知道這是否是對的。

where the dog actually got me?

在那裡的狗實際上得到了我？

Is that the take?

是這樣的嗎？

Yes, yes.

是的，是的。

Well, that's what we were just reminiscing fondly about.

嗯，這就是我們剛剛深情回憶的事情。

I was told, I think, to get down before the dog gets me,

我被告知，我想，在狗抓到我之前，要先下來。

but I always like to go for it.

但我總是喜歡去爭取。

And I'm pretty sure that dog chomped me on the thigh?

我很確定那條狗咬了我的大腿？

Yeah. Well, that was a real police dog.

是的。嗯，那是一隻真正的警犬。

I mean, that's a, like a Belgian Malinois?

我的意思是，那是一個，像一個比利時馬利諾犬？

Is that the...

這是...

I don't know. I didn't hire the dog.

我不知道。我沒有僱用那條狗。

I would've assumed you would've gotten a non-lethal dog,

我本來以為你會買一隻非致命的狗。

but you're looking to me for like,

但你卻在向我尋求喜歡。

"That was the lethal dog that we got, right?"

"那是我們得到的那條致命的狗，對嗎？"

That's you who got the dog.

那是你得到了狗。

They were trained and you were supposed to run.

他們接受了訓練，你應該跑。

The dog was gonna chase you and you were supposed

那條狗要追趕你，你應該

to stop at a certain point, but I think...

在某一點上停止，但我認為...

Well, when a killing dog is chasing you,

好吧，當一條殺氣騰騰的狗在追趕你時。

hard to stop as it nears, but...

臨近時很難停下來，但...

And it broke the skin. Yeah.

而且還破了皮。是的。

Yeah, yeah, it did break the skin

是的，是的，它確實打破了皮膚

and I remembered walking back and tore the pants leg

我記得我走回來的時候把褲腿撕破了

and so I saw blood and torn pants leg, and I thought...

於是我看到了血和撕裂的褲腿，我想......。

And we had other pants, so that was fine.

而且我們還有其他褲子，所以這很好。

Yeah, what you care? Yeah.

是的，你關心什麼？是的。

For us, that's political, about as political as we get,

對我們來說，那是政治性的，和我們的政治性差不多。

because we don't often do political humor,

因為我們不經常做政治幽默。

but it was such a charged atmosphere.

但這是一個充實的氛圍。

And actually something we like to do

實際上也是我們喜歡做的事情

with a lot of the Conan Without Borders shows

與很多柯南無國界的節目一樣

is flip the script so that I'm the American in this case,

是翻轉劇本，使我在這種情況下成為美國人。

like the gringo is the interloper.

就像外國佬是入侵者一樣。

So the power position's been switched

所以權力的位置被調換了

and so I thought it was a really good idea that you guys had

所以我認為你們的這個想法真的很好。

that I'm trying to get into Mexico and they're harassing me,

我正試圖進入墨西哥，他們在騷擾我。

the way people thought we were harassing

人們認為我們在騷擾的方式

Mexicans who were trying to come

試圖前來的墨西哥人

and so there was a real nice simplicity to it,

是以，有一個真正好的簡單性。

but then we go to silly jokes that make fun of me.

但隨後我們就去看那些取笑我的愚蠢笑話了。

And the joke really is all the way through on me,

而這個玩笑真的是一直在我身上開的。

which is the kind of stuff I like to do.

這也是我喜歡做的事情。

Exactly. Exactly.

正是如此。完全正確。

And you took advantage of that charged atmosphere,

而你利用了這種帶電的氣氛。

you know, from the politics at the time.

你知道，從當時的政治。

So all we had to do was, you know,

所以我們所要做的就是，你知道。

give the same lines that Trump was saying

給出了與特朗普所說的相同的說法

to the Mexican guards.

對墨西哥衛兵。

They're not sending us their best or things like that.

他們沒有給我們送來他們最好的東西或類似的東西。

And of course, it got a great reaction.

當然，這也得到了很大的反應。

Yeah, we shot it at Televisa in Ciudad de Mexico

是的，我們在墨西哥城的Televisa拍攝。

and everyone who worked on it was fantastic.

和每一個為它工作的人都非常棒。

[Jose] Yes.

[Jose]是的。

I mean, they helped us.

我的意思是，他們幫助了我們。

It was important to me that we got to do it

對我來說，重要的是我們能做到這一點。

with the help of Mexican television makers

在墨西哥電視製作人的幫助下

and executives and camera operators.

和行政人員以及攝像師。

Yes.

是的。

And so that was fun to show that cold open

是以，展示這個冷門是很有趣的。

to that audience.

對該聽眾。

They got a huge kick out of it, again.

他們又一次從中得到了巨大的刺激。

Yeah and then they watched me do a monologue in Spanish.

是的，然後他們看著我用西班牙語做了一段獨白。

All in Spanish.

都是西班牙語。

And I remembered you backstage, you running,

我還記得你在後臺，你在跑步。

'cause you're fluent.

因為你說得很流利。

Yes.

是的。

You just running it with me over and over and over again

你就這樣一遍又一遍地和我跑來跑去

so that my accent was better,

這樣，我的口音就會好一些。

my pronunciation was a little more fluent,

我的發音更流暢一些。

because I really wanted to earn the laughs in Spanish.

因為我真的想用西班牙語贏得笑聲。

And so that ended up working out.

是以，這一點最終得到了解決。

(Conan speaking Spanish)

(柯南說西班牙語)

(audience laughing)

(觀眾笑)

You did four or five monologue jokes,

你做了四或五個獨白笑話。

the same stuff that you do on, you know,

你做的同樣的東西，你知道。

in the US show and your phonetic pronunciation was great.

在美國的節目中，你的拼音發音很好。

It came out really good.

它出來的效果真的很好。

You know, I also think there's something that's happened,

你知道，我也認為有一些事情發生了。

I noticed it with this piece, which is,

我注意到了這篇作品，這是。

we were really able to take advantage of this

我們真的能夠利用這個優勢

when we moved to Los Angeles.

當我們搬到洛杉磯的時候。

We did all those years in New York and made all this comedy

我們在紐約做了那麼多年，拍了那麼多的喜劇

that I'm really proud of, not all of it, but a lot of it.

我真的很自豪，不是所有的，但有很多。

(Jesse laughing)

(傑西笑)

Let's be honest, it's a numbers game.

說實話，這是個數字遊戲。

But when we came here to Los Angeles

但當我們來到洛杉磯的時候

and the locations that we can get are so cinematic,

而我們能得到的地點是如此具有電影感。

and that was one of the things that I counted on

而這是我所指望的事情之一

when we came out here.

當我們來到這裡的時候。

I didn't even know that drones were gonna be a thing,

我甚至不知道無人機會成為一種東西。

but the drone shots that we can get.

但我們可以得到的無人機拍攝。

And so it's that Breaking Bad look

於是就有了《霹靂嬌娃》的樣子

and we have excellent camera technicians

而且我們有優秀的攝像技術人員

and cameramen and people who know

和攝像師以及知道的人

how to make things look amazing.

如何使事情看起來令人驚訝。

They can always match these looks

他們總是可以與這些外觀相匹配

and you guys were always meticulous, storyboarding things,

而你們總是一絲不苟，把事情做成故事板。

and so to pull people into the reality

所以要把人們拉進現實

of a situation like that,

這樣的情況。

you really do feel like I'm walking across the desert

你真的覺得我像在沙漠中行走一樣

and you're looking at a legitimate piece of filmmaking,

而你所看到的是一部合法的電影作品。

rather than the cold open to, you know, a nightly show,

而不是冷冰冰的開場，你知道，一個晚上的節目。

so that, I think, was something that I was proud of.

是以，我認為這是我感到自豪的事情。

I do feel bad about rubbing ham on the back of your pants.

在你的褲子後面擦上火腿，我確實感覺很不好。

(Jesse laughing)

(傑西笑)

You told me it was your good luck ritual.

你告訴我這是你的好運儀式。

Yeah, and the dog...

是的，還有那條狗...

You always have ham.

你總是有火腿。

Jose really does have little leather pouches.

何塞真的有小皮包。

He'll wait until we're sitting in traffic

他會等到我們坐在車流中的時候

on a bus or something and then he'll...

在公共汽車上或什麼地方，然後他就...

On a travel show.

在一個旅遊節目中。

Very obviously pull one out of his backpack,

非常明顯地從他的揹包裡掏出一個。

because it's almost like the red flag in front of the bull.

因為這幾乎就是公牛面前的紅旗。

Because it enrages Conan to see

因為它激怒了柯南，看到

these tiny little things that I sometime have.

這些微小的事情，我有時會有。

He has a very Euro-centric sensibility

他有一種非常以歐洲為中心的感覺

and he has lots of little tiny pouches and leather cases,

而且他有很多小的小袋子和皮箱。

and he has fine little pens and pencils,

而且他有精緻的小筆和鉛筆。

and he has little sketching pads,

而且他有小的素描本。

and you've never seen anything like them before,

而且你以前從未見過這樣的東西。

unless you were raised in Holland

除非你是在荷蘭長大的

and he'll pull out this little pouch and he'll open it up

他將拉出這個小袋子並打開它

and there's one little nectarine wedge

還有一個小油桃楔子

that he keeps in there.

他放在那裡的。

And then he'll go, like, "Mm, mm."

然後他就會說，"嗯，嗯"。

And then like, "Mm, just enough. Not too much, just enough."

然後像，"嗯，剛好夠。不要太多，就夠了。"

And then he'll zip it up again.

然後他又會拉上拉鍊。

And I always wanted to throw you out the bus window.

而我總是想把你從公共汽車的窗戶扔出去。

Yes, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

And I think several times I did.

我想有好幾次我都這麼做了。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

Have this sold on eBay, please.

請在eBay上出售這個東西。

Absolutely.

絕對的。

That's my saliva.

那是我的口水。

Hello? Oh, Spielberg.

喂？哦，斯皮爾伯格。

Excuse me.

請原諒我。