But your girl she vaccinated and she actually went out for brunch with a friend.

但是你的女孩她接種了疫苗，而且她真的和一個朋友出去吃早午餐了。

Crazy.

瘋了。

I know I'm a party animal.

我知道我是個派對動物。

Living life on the edge.

在邊緣生活。

And you know, I feel like we've all been collectively just dying to socialize with other humans and hug our friends and party.

你知道，我覺得我們都在集體地渴望與其他人類交往，擁抱我們的朋友和聚會。

But what I did not anticipate is just how hard it was to socialize again.

但我沒有預料到的是，再次參加社交活動是多麼困難。

Okay.

好的。

So this may be a controversial question.

是以，這可能是一個有爭議的問題。

But how have you been you know, just reliving the same day since March.

但是你是怎麼過的，你知道，從三月開始就一直在重溫同一天的生活。

God I know anything new.

上帝，我知道任何新事物。

Ah no, no.

啊，不，不。

Nothing.

沒有什麼。

Nothing new at all.

一點都不新鮮。

You same thing.

你也一樣。

I mean, you know, there's no real news to report.

我的意思是，你知道，沒有真正的新聞可以報道。

So mm hmm.

所以mm hmm。

So are you dating?

那麼你們在約會嗎？

No, I, I tried, you know the apps, that whole thing.

不，我，我試過了，你知道那些應用程序，那整個事情。

But no, Why are you still single?

但是沒有，為什麼你還是單身？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Why are you still married?

你為什麼還在結婚？

No, no, I didn't mean it like that.

不，不，我不是那個意思。

I meant like how are you still single?

我的意思是，你怎麼還是單身？

Um Well, I guess I'm single because well when we're in a global pandemic and I can't meet anybody new.

嗯，我想我是單身，因為當我們處於全球大流行的時候，我不能遇到新的人。

Um But also I am trying to intentionally not get into relationships built on trauma bonds anymore.

嗯，但我也在努力有意地不再進入建立在創傷紐帶上的關係。

So totally, totally.

所以完全，完全。

But I mean like you're such a catch that it's crazy that nobody wants me.

但我的意思是，你是這樣的人，沒有人想要我，這很瘋狂。

No no no no no no, no.

不不不不不，不。

You know I'm so sorry.

你知道我很抱歉。

I haven't socialized in like a year.

我大概有一年沒有參加社交活動了。

So I'm a bit rusty.

所以我有點生疏了。

Yeah.

是的。

I'm sorry too totally.

我也很抱歉。

I get it.

我明白了。

I clearly I'm defensive about this topic.

我很清楚我對這個話題的防禦性。

Yeah.

是的。

You are definitely defensive.

你肯定是在防守。

Mm hmm Oh um I saw on instagram that you and your twin spoke up about the abuse and the really toxic set with James franco good for you guys?

我在Instagram上看到，你和你的雙胞胎說出了關於虐待和詹姆斯-弗蘭科的真正有毒的設置，對你們有好處嗎？

That's very brave of you.

你很有勇氣。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

It's just, we just thought, why are we protecting him?

只是，我們只是想，我們為什麼要保護他？

You know, totally.

你知道，完全是這樣。

So like what did he do exactly?

那麼，他到底做了什麼？

Like can you detail the abuse for me?

比如你能為我詳細介紹一下虐待的情況嗎？

Um, I don't really want to talk about that over mimosas.

嗯，我真的不想在喝含羞草的時候談論這個問題。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah, that makes sense.

是的，這很有道理。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉。

I should have known better.

我應該更清楚。

Like people are always prying into my sister's suicide and it's like, wait, how did she die?

就像人們總是在打聽我妹妹的自殺問題，就像，等等，她是怎麼死的？

Like what method did she use?

比如她用的是什麼方法？

Oh, okay.

哦，好的。

Well let me just reliving my trauma at 11 AM.

好吧，讓我在上午11點重溫一下我的創傷。

Okay ladies, have you decided?

好了，女士們，你們決定了嗎？

Hey?

嘿？

Yeah, I'll have to kill solid.

是的，我必須殺死固體。

No dressing side of lemon water.

沒有調味品的檸檬水的一面。

No ice.

沒有冰。

Please do the exact same.

請做完全相同的事情。

But can you add avocado, put the dressing on the side and give me an ice cream tea.

但是你能不能加上牛油果，把調味料放在旁邊，給我一杯冰淇淋茶。

No ice and sweeten truly my exact order.

不加冰和加糖確實是我的確切命令。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

So you were telling me how your sister died?

所以你在告訴我你妹妹是怎麼死的？

No, I think we moved on from that.

不，我想我們已經從這個問題上繼續前進了。

When are you and your husband finally having kids?

你和你丈夫什麼時候才會有孩子？

Never.

從來沒有。

We don't want kids.

我們不想要孩子。

You look really skinny.

你看起來真的很瘦。

Did you lose weight?

你的體重減輕了嗎？

That's not the compliment that you think it is.

這並不是你所認為的恭維。

Where are you from Pasadena?

你來自帕薩迪納哪裡？

No, like where are you really from casa Dina?

不，比如說你到底是哪裡人，迪娜小姐？

How much money do you make?

你能賺多少錢？

Not nearly as much as the internet thinks I do.

不像互聯網上認為的那樣，我做了很多。

Are you ever self conscious about your nose?

你是否曾對自己的鼻子感到自責？

Has anyone ever called you a bit many times?

有沒有人叫過你有點多次？

This is really hard.

這真的很難。

Can we go back to Zoom's?

我們可以回到Zoom's嗎？

Yeah, I'll send you a link in 20 minutes.

是的，我將在20分鐘內給你發送一個鏈接。

Okay.

好的。

It wasn't that awkward but there was definitely a sense of like whoa, we have forgotten the nuance of when it's appropriate to ask what and it makes sense.

這不是那麼尷尬，但肯定有一種感覺，就像哇，我們已經忘記了什麼時候應該問什麼的細微差別，這很有意義。

You know, we're all starving for connection so badly.

你知道，我們都非常渴望聯繫。

But the line between curiosity and wanting to connect versus overstepping and being insensitive is very thin one.

但是，好奇心和想要聯繫與越位和不敏感之間的界限是非常細的。

And my brunch with my friend made me examine the times in my life where I have been confronted with this exact line like oh my God, I remember in the before time I knew this woman through work and the last time I had seen her she was pregnant.

我和我朋友的早午餐讓我審視了我生命中的那些時間，在這些時間裡，我遇到了這句話，比如我的上帝，我記得在之前的時間裡，我通過工作認識了這個女人，而我最後一次見到她的時候，她已經懷孕。

And then when I ran into her again at a party, she wasn't.

然後當我在一個聚會上再次碰到她時，她不在了。

So of course I asked nice to see you.

所以我當然要求很高興見到你。

You too, how's the baby?

你也是，孩子怎麼樣了？

And you know what?

而你知道嗎？

She just it was clear what happened in that look.

她只是很清楚在那個眼神中發生了什麼。

But she didn't know what to say.

但她不知道該說什麼。

I didn't know what to say.

我不知道該說什麼。

So I just quickly changed the subject and carried on wow.

所以我就迅速改變了話題，繼續哇。

So that Lakers game the other day.

所以那天的湖人隊比賽。

But it made me think about in those moments how we have two choices.

但這讓我想到在那些時刻，我們有兩個選擇。

We can ask a question.

我們可以問一個問題。

We should keep to ourselves did you have a miscarriage or was it an abortion?

我們應該對自己說，你是流產還是墮胎？

Which by the way I've read on reddit that actual women have been asked this ship, can you believe it?

順便說一下，我在reddit上看到，真正的女性被問到了這艘船，你相信嗎？

The second option which I think you should take and which I took is to take the q read the room change the subject and save the other person from having to explain themselves.

我認為你應該採取的第二個選擇，也是我採取的第二個選擇，就是把 "q "讀到房間裡，換個話題，省得對方解釋。

Obviously this is a very extreme and sad example but the more that I think about it the more that I realized just how many of these questions I have gotten over the course of my life.

顯然，這是一個非常極端和悲哀的例子，但我越想越明白，在我的生活中，我得到了多少這樣的問題。

Yeah, he took advantage of me.

是的，他佔了我的便宜。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉。

Can you show me the details of what happened that night?

你能給我看看那晚發生的細節嗎？

And look context?

而看背景？

Is everything right?

一切順利嗎？

So what's inappropriate for one person to ask may not be for another.

是以，對一個人來說不合適的問題，對另一個人來說可能就不合適了。

Um took advantage of me.

嗯佔了我的便宜。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉。

Can you tell me the details about what happened that night?

你能告訴我關於那晚發生的事情的細節嗎？

And we're all curious beings.

而我們都是好奇的人。

There's a reason we rubberneck every time there's a car crash or why murder documentaries are so popular and melissa watches every single one of them.

每當有車禍發生時，我們都會目不轉睛，這是有原因的，也是為什麼謀殺紀錄片如此受歡迎，而且梅麗莎看了每一部。

Oh my God we are drawn to tragedy and disaster.

哦，我的上帝，我們被悲劇和災難所吸引。

It's natural and some of the most real potent stuff that life offers.

它是自然的，是生活中提供的一些最真實有力的東西。

Its intriguing as hell.

其耐人尋味之處在於。

But you know what I really used to think that excavating trauma was how to cultivate a deep relationship of any kind and I was, I was someone who would ask these questions without necessarily like checking in the vibes and having awareness of if it was actually appropriate.

但是你知道，我真的曾經認為挖掘創傷是如何培養任何形式的深層關係，我是，我是一個會問這些問題的人，而不一定像檢查氛圍和意識到它是否真的合適。

Like literally the other day I asked melissa for specific details of her childhood trauma and she was like, I really don't want to hash that over breakfast, does that a lot.

就像有一天，我問梅麗莎關於她童年創傷的具體細節，她說，我真的不想在早餐時討論這個問題，她經常這樣做。

So clearly I'm still learning how to balance my curiosity and desire to connect with someone else's boundaries and the level of openness in that moment.

所以很明顯，我仍在學習如何平衡我的好奇心和與別人的界限聯繫的願望以及那一刻的開放程度。

So you know what I'm really trying to say is just good luck to us all as we venture back out into this world and see other humans, it's probably gonna be real messy.

所以你知道我真正想說的是，當我們冒險回到這個世界，看到其他人類時，只是祝我們所有人好運，這可能會是真正的混亂。

I'm anaconda and thank you to the Patreon who supported today's video and thank you as always to Daddy squarespace for sponsoring today's episode.

我是巨蟒，感謝支持今天視頻的Patreon，並一如既往地感謝Daddy squarespace對今天節目的贊助。

Daddy squarespace has an all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business complete with marketing tools and analytics.

爸爸squarespace有一個一體化的平臺，可以建立一個美麗的在線存在，並運行你的業務，完成營銷工具和分析。

To have your website or online store be the best sugar baby it can be for all of you who love to create audio content a smr much.

為了讓你的網站或網上商店成為最好的糖寶寶，它可以為所有喜歡創造音頻內容的人提供一個smr多。

You can use audio blocks which allows you to embed audio on your site and tag the SmR for Itunes when your audio block is placed in a blog.

你可以使用音頻塊，它允許你在你的網站上嵌入音頻，並在你的音頻塊放在博客中時為Itunes標記SmR。

Plus you can have multiple contributors receive selective access to your sites, website manager and don't worry, you own all the content that you put on the Daddy squarespace platform.

另外，你可以讓多個貢獻者有選擇地訪問你的網站，網站經理，不用擔心，你擁有你放在爸爸squarespace平臺上的所有內容。

He offers one click data.

他提供一鍵式數據。

Portability, Head to squarespace dot com for a free trial and whenever you're ready to launch, go to squarespace dot com slash anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or Domain Squarespace Daddy sugar babies by.

可移植性，前往squarespace dot com進行免費試用，每當你準備推出時，去squarespace dot com slash anna，首次購買網站或Domain Squarespace Daddy sugar babies時可節省10%的費用。