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  • - I personally have never been able

  • to make friends with benefits work, or one night stands

  • or even just hooking up.

  • Because even though I signed the social contract,

  • my emotions get in the way every time.

  • - Your honor, if you look here at exhibit 123 A

  • you see here a signature by Ms. Anna Akana,

  • attesting to the fact that she's willing to participate

  • in a purely sexual relationship with my client.

  • - I see that.

  • Ms. Akana

  • in this contract it says you consented to not catch feelings

  • for the duration of this term,

  • is that correct?

  • - Your honor, I absolutely did sign that contract,

  • but before I did, I didn't realize how handsome he is.

  • Yes, who's a handsome sexy little boy?

  • - Oh my God.

  • It's like Shane Dawson all over again.

  • - I used to think

  • that my inability to be friends with benefits

  • was just my own personal weakness.

  • That it was just me who was thinking with my vagina

  • when it came to trying to have a casual fling with a friend.

  • So of course, I turned to science.

  • - Hey there.

  • (laughs)

  • Good to see ya.

  • The reason why "friends with benefits"

  • rarely work in the longterm

  • is because of the handy dandy Familiarity Principle.

  • We are attracted to what is familiar to us.

  • - According to several studies,

  • facial attractiveness is positively correlated

  • to both familiarity and typicality.

  • Meaning we react positively to the known.

  • Repeated exposure,

  • especially exposure that is intimate or romantic,

  • will lead to strong feelings of affection.

  • - So you're saying it's not my fault.

  • - Oh, it's definitely your fault.

  • - Your chemistry's fault.

  • (laughs)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - There was an entire study done on the topic in 2020,

  • a longitudinal study of friends with benefits relationships.

  • The researchers wanted to explore

  • how these friends with benefits relationships progressed

  • and what predictors made them more or less likely

  • to end happily.

  • So the study was published in Personal Relationships

  • and it suggests that a friends with benefits relationship

  • only played out how people wanted it to 17% of the time.

  • The research also showed

  • that these relationships carry high levels of uncertainty

  • and they tend to be less emotionally and sexually satisfying

  • than traditional romantic relationships.

  • So in the study, 192 people were surveyed

  • at two different points in time

  • to figure out what people wanted out of their FWB situation

  • and where they wanted it to go.

  • So out of the 192 people surveyed,

  • 48% hoped that their FWBR would stay the same,

  • 25% of them hoped it would turn

  • into a romantic relationship,

  • 12% wanted it to transition

  • to a regular friendship free of sex,

  • and 4% wanted no relationship at all.

  • The ones who were most likely

  • to see the relationship evolve how they wanted it to

  • were those who hoped it would end in friendship

  • and 59% of them got that desired outcome.

  • Whereas only 15% of those who wanted it to develop

  • into a romantic relationship actually got what they wanted.

  • The study actually concluded that communication

  • and aligned expectations are critical

  • for friends with benefits relationships to end well.

  • Like any relationship,

  • communication between the two partners played a crucial role

  • in determining their level of satisfaction

  • and how the relationship ended.

  • I am so glad that we were able to stay friends

  • through that arduous litigious process.

  • I'm Anna Akana,

  • thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video

  • and thank you to LetsGetChecked

  • for sponsoring today's episode.

  • So speaking of friends with benefits,

  • if you're sexually active,

  • it's recommended to get tested at least annually

  • and or between partners.

  • As someone with an STD, I know that bringing them up

  • in discussions with healthcare providers

  • can be awkward and intimidating,

  • so much so that 51% of people do not get STD tests

  • because they don't wanna have those talks,

  • even though 1 million sexually transmitted infections

  • are acquired every day worldwide.

  • Well, LetsGetChecked has you covered.

  • LGC is an at-home testing company

  • that makes STD testing easy and confidential.

  • They've performed over 2 million tests

  • and are CLIA approved,

  • which is the highest ranking levels of accreditation.

  • The process is super simple:

  • you go to the site,

  • you order the Complete 8 STD testing kit,

  • and it arrives in a small, discreet package.

  • You do a small finger prick,

  • you send the sample back to their lab

  • with a prepaid shipping label

  • and in two to five days,

  • you get your results completely online.

  • If necessary,

  • a nurse will contact you for a consultation over the phone

  • and in some cases,

  • a LGC physician will provide free medication

  • straight to your door for a variety of STDs and STIs.

  • You can get 30% off your entire order with code Akana.

  • just visit trylgc.com/akana and enter code Akana at checkout

  • to ensure you and your partners

  • are staying safe and informed.

- I personally have never been able

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Why friends with benefits never works

  • 15 1
    林宜悉 發佈於 2022 年 04 月 23 日
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