字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 - I personally have never been able to make friends with benefits work, or one night stands or even just hooking up. Because even though I signed the social contract, my emotions get in the way every time. - Your honor, if you look here at exhibit 123 A you see here a signature by Ms. Anna Akana, attesting to the fact that she's willing to participate in a purely sexual relationship with my client. - I see that. Ms. Akana in this contract it says you consented to not catch feelings for the duration of this term, is that correct? - Your honor, I absolutely did sign that contract, but before I did, I didn't realize how handsome he is. Yes, who's a handsome sexy little boy? - Oh my God. It's like Shane Dawson all over again. - I used to think that my inability to be friends with benefits was just my own personal weakness. That it was just me who was thinking with my vagina when it came to trying to have a casual fling with a friend. So of course, I turned to science. - Hey there. (laughs) Good to see ya. The reason why "friends with benefits" rarely work in the longterm is because of the handy dandy Familiarity Principle. We are attracted to what is familiar to us. - According to several studies, facial attractiveness is positively correlated to both familiarity and typicality. Meaning we react positively to the known. Repeated exposure, especially exposure that is intimate or romantic, will lead to strong feelings of affection. - So you're saying it's not my fault. - Oh, it's definitely your fault. - Your chemistry's fault. (laughs) (upbeat music) - There was an entire study done on the topic in 2020, a longitudinal study of friends with benefits relationships. The researchers wanted to explore how these friends with benefits relationships progressed and what predictors made them more or less likely to end happily. So the study was published in Personal Relationships and it suggests that a friends with benefits relationship only played out how people wanted it to 17% of the time. The research also showed that these relationships carry high levels of uncertainty and they tend to be less emotionally and sexually satisfying than traditional romantic relationships. So in the study, 192 people were surveyed at two different points in time to figure out what people wanted out of their FWB situation and where they wanted it to go. So out of the 192 people surveyed, 48% hoped that their FWBR would stay the same, 25% of them hoped it would turn into a romantic relationship, 12% wanted it to transition to a regular friendship free of sex, and 4% wanted no relationship at all. The ones who were most likely to see the relationship evolve how they wanted it to were those who hoped it would end in friendship and 59% of them got that desired outcome. Whereas only 15% of those who wanted it to develop into a romantic relationship actually got what they wanted. The study actually concluded that communication and aligned expectations are critical for friends with benefits relationships to end well. Like any relationship, communication between the two partners played a crucial role in determining their level of satisfaction and how the relationship ended. I am so glad that we were able to stay friends through that arduous litigious process. I'm Anna Akana, thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video and thank you to LetsGetChecked for sponsoring today's episode. So speaking of friends with benefits, if you're sexually active, it's recommended to get tested at least annually and or between partners. As someone with an STD, I know that bringing them up in discussions with healthcare providers can be awkward and intimidating, so much so that 51% of people do not get STD tests because they don't wanna have those talks, even though 1 million sexually transmitted infections are acquired every day worldwide. Well, LetsGetChecked has you covered. LGC is an at-home testing company that makes STD testing easy and confidential. They've performed over 2 million tests and are CLIA approved, which is the highest ranking levels of accreditation. The process is super simple: you go to the site, you order the Complete 8 STD testing kit, and it arrives in a small, discreet package. You do a small finger prick, you send the sample back to their lab with a prepaid shipping label and in two to five days, you get your results completely online. If necessary, a nurse will contact you for a consultation over the phone and in some cases, a LGC physician will provide free medication straight to your door for a variety of STDs and STIs. You can get 30% off your entire order with code Akana. just visit trylgc.com/akana and enter code Akana at checkout to ensure you and your partners are staying safe and informed.