[laughing]

[笑聲]

I don't know if I'd call myself an international playboy.

我不知道我是否會稱自己為國際花花公子。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

[growls]

[咆哮聲]

Just what are you two ignorami doing out here?

你們兩個無知的人在這裡做什麼？

We're trying to hurt each other.

我們正試圖傷害對方。

- Oh! - Hey, what the...?

- 哦！ - 嘿，什麼...？

You got a sea spider on your head.

你的頭上有一隻海蜘蛛。

It's not, a sea spider, you dope.

這不是，海蜘蛛，你這個笨蛋。

It's... my hair.

這是......我的頭髮。

We should open our own restaurant

我們應該開設自己的餐廳

and stop lining Old Man K's pockets.

並停止為老K的口袋提供資金。

No thanks. I'm just doing this until

不，謝謝。我只是在做這個，直到

my clarinet career takes off.

我的單簧管事業起飛了。

What if it never does?

如果它永遠不會這樣做呢？

Don't you want to have something to fall back on?

難道你不希望有一個可以依靠的東西嗎？

Yeah, hah.

是的，哈哈。

I could lose my beautiful flowing hair, too,

我也可能失去我美麗的飄逸的頭髮。

but I'm not buying a wig yet.

但我還不打算買假髮。

I think I fancy a stroll around the park.

我想我喜歡在公園裡散步。

[doorbell ringing] Oh, Squidward!

[門鈴響起] 哦，章魚哥！

What do you want?

你想要什麼？

Hello? What's this?

喂？這是什麼？

Someone left me some money for a perm.

有人給我留了一些錢，讓我去燙髮。

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

Come to Harry.

來找哈利。

Ow!

嗷!

[laughing]

[笑聲]

SpongeBob! Oh, my hair!

海綿寶寶！哦，我的頭髮！

SpongeBob...!

海綿寶寶...!

[laughing]

[笑聲]

- Good evening. - [whistling]

- 晚上好。- [口哨聲]

And... welcome to the... Krusty Krab semi-annual charity night.

還有... 歡迎來到...蟹堡王半年一次的慈善晚會。

Squidward, you look beautiful.

章魚哥，你看起來很美。

Let me show you to your table.

讓我帶你到你的桌子。

My table? Oh, fancy.

我的桌子？哦，花哨。

[gasps] My very own name tag.

[喘氣]我自己的名牌。

[shower running]

[淋浴聲]

[brushing teeth]

[刷牙]

[gargling, spitting]

[漱口，吐口水]

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

[creaking]

[吱吱作響]

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

[whispering]

[竊竊私語]

- Hi, Patrick. - [giggles]

- 嗨，帕特里克。- [咯咯笑]

[harpsichord music playing]

[大鍵琴音樂響起]

[clears throat]

[清嗓子]

Good evening, students. Now, our first--

晚上好，同學們。現在，我們的第一...

[all, slowly] Good evening, professor.

[全部，緩慢] 晚上好，教授。

As I was saying, our first...

正如我所說，我們的第一...

Yes?

是嗎？

Aren't you going to write your name on the board

你不把你的名字寫在黑板上嗎？

like most professors do?

像大多數教授那樣？

M-My name? What for?

我，我的名字？為什麼？

Well, you know, it just seems like teachers

嗯，你知道，它只是看起來像教師

usually write their names on the board

通常在黑板上寫下他們的名字

the first day of class.

上課的第一天。

[sighs] Why don't you come write your name on the board?

[嘆氣]你為什麼不來在黑板上寫你的名字？

We'll see how you like it.

我們會看到你喜歡它。

[chuckles]

[笑聲]

Okay.

好的。

[humming]

[嗡嗡聲]

Huh?

嗯？

[SpongeBob and Patrick wailing]

[海綿寶寶和派大星哭了]

Ghost!

幽靈！

Ho, ho, ho!

嗬，嗬，嗬！

Hello? Yes? Who's there?

喂？什麼事？誰在那裡？

Huh? Hello? Show yourself.

嗯？喂？顯示你自己。

Whoo-hoo? Hello? Who is it?

Whoo-hoo?喂？你是誰？

I'm hear, you dunce!

我聽到了，你這個笨蛋！

I mean, Merry Christmas, little boy.

我是說，聖誕快樂，小男孩。

[gasps] C-Could it be?

[喘氣] C-會不會是？

Yes, it is I, Santa Claus!

是的，是我，聖誕公公。

Ho, ho, ho!

嗬，嗬，嗬！

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

We don't leave until we catch that clam

不抓到那隻蛤蜊我們就不離開

and rescue me dollar.

並拯救我的美元。

That's it, I'm finished.

就這樣吧，我已經完成了。

We've been here for three days and haven't gotten a nibble.

我們已經在這裡呆了三天了，還沒有吃到一點東西。

This is hopeless!

這是沒有希望的!

Hey, Squidward,

嘿，章魚哥。

I bet old man Krabs is going to break any day.

我打賭蟹老闆隨時都會崩潰。

Eh, Squidward? Eh, Squidward?

誒，章魚哥？嗯，章魚哥？

Eh, Squidward?

嗯，章魚哥？

Eh, Squidward?

嗯，章魚哥？

Eh, Squidward? Eh, Squidward?

誒，章魚哥？嗯，章魚哥？

[clearing throat]

[清嗓子]

[sighs]

[嘆氣]

Please, SpongeBob, no tricks.

拜託，海綿寶寶，不要耍花招。

Trust me, Squidward.

相信我，章魚哥。

[SpongeBob screaming] ♪ La, la, la-la-la-la! ♪

[海綿寶寶尖叫] 啦，啦，啦-啦-啦-啦！？

♪ La, la, la! ♪

? 啦，啦，啦！ ?

[crowd gasping]

[眾人驚呼]

SpongeBob!

海綿寶寶！

Why have you stopped playing that wonderful music?

你為什麼停止演奏那美妙的音樂？

[resumes screaming]

[恢復尖叫聲]

This music touches me ever so.

這種音樂深深地觸動了我。

Where are we going? Fancy Springs?

我們要去哪裡？夢幻泉？

No.

沒有。

Pamper Island?

呵護島？

Try again.

再試一次。

Oh, oh, oh! Bikini Bottom Folk Village?

哦，哦，哦！比基尼海灘民俗村？

Better than that.

比這更好。

Clam fishing?

釣蛤蜊？

Hmm, honey...

嗯，親愛的...

Come on, SpongeBob, tackle me.

來吧，海綿寶寶，對付我。

Squidward, you need bed rest.

章魚哥，你需要臥床休息。

I'll keep you safe until you're well again.

我會保護你的安全，直到你恢復健康。

Oh, I get it, you don't know what day it is, do you?

哦，我明白了，你不知道今天是什麼日子，是嗎？

Uh, Wednesday?

呃，星期三？

Why, it's Opposite Day.

為什麼，今天是反對日。

You mean you've never heard of it?

你的意思是你從來沒有聽說過它？

Boy, have you been missing out.

孩子，你已經錯過了。

Opposite Day is the one day of the year

對照日是一年中的一個日子

when you get to act different.

當你得到了不同的行為。

Normally I am stuffy and boring,

通常情況下，我很悶，很無聊。

but today I am silly and spontaneous.

但今天我很傻，很隨性。

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

[bell ringing]

[鐘聲響起]

Howdy do, y'all?

你們好嗎？

Great, another hayseed.

很好，又是一個草包。

Charge him double for his drinks.

向他收取雙倍的酒錢。

Howdy, partner.

你好，夥伴。

Pardon, but is this seat taken?

對不起，這個座位有人嗎？

Yeah, some fancy dude just sat in it.

是的，一些花哨的傢伙就坐在裡面。

What can I get you, stranger?

你要什麼，陌生人？

Give me a shot.

給我一個機會。

Of milk.

牛奶中。

- Milk? - Two percent.

- 牛奶嗎？

- Thank you can handle it? - I drink this stuff every day.

- 謝謝你能接受它？- 我每天都喝這個東西。

Over the lips and through the gums,

越過嘴脣，穿過牙齦。

look out, tapeworm, here it comes.

小心，絛蟲，它來了。

Get ready, Tapey.

準備好了，塔佩。

[giggles]

[咯咯笑]

[sighs]

[嘆氣]

[alarm ringing, grunting]

[警報響起，呼嚕聲]

Oh, yeah. Smooth.

哦，是的。順利。

Right.

對。

[gasps]

[喘息聲]

He's glorious.

他是光榮的。

That's right. I used to be sick of everything,

這就對了。我曾經對一切都感到厭惡。

but I'm not sick anymore.

但我已經沒有病了。

I've been plagued by toxins and stress,

我一直被毒素和壓力所困擾。

built up over the years at this job,

在這份工作中，多年來積累的經驗。

but SpongeBob washed those away.

但海綿寶寶把這些都洗掉了。

[squeals]

[尖叫聲]

Now, who wants to order?

現在，誰想訂購？

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Double Krabby Patty!

雙份蟹皇堡！

[shouting]

[喊叫聲]

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Hey, Squidward. Ooh, muscles.

嘿，章魚哥。哦，肌肉。

- Oh! - Hey, Squidward.

- 哦！ - 嘿，章魚哥。

- Ow. - Hey, Squidward.

- 嗷。- 嘿，章魚哥。

More layer pie.

更多的層狀派。

Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.

嘿，章魚哥嘿，章魚哥。

- Hey, Squidward. - No, no, no!

- 嘿，章魚哥。- 不，不，不！

I think I'm going to be sick.

我想我要生病了。