and I burst into tears.

I brought to you a quote.

I just discovered it,

and I thought you might find it interesting.

It's by Zadie Smith, and it said,

"The biggest lie about love is that it will set you free."

Mm. And I was like, "Wow."

"I have never heard a take on."

We have always accepted that love will set you free

as if it's a fact that is unquestioned.

So I liked that,

and I was excited to present you with that quote

until I wanna tell you a quote you said

that I burst into tears.

Oh, God, "Heartbreak is a two-way street."

Oh my God.

I think I was talking about the song "Favorite Crime,"

when I said that, I believe.

And I just remember going through that awful heartbreak

and feeling so responsible for it though too in a way.

Like you can blame someone else and be like,

"Oh, like I hate that you did that to me,

and I hate that you did that to me."

But like when you really think about it,

it's like you put yourself in a position to be hurt

and nobody's perfect,

and you must have done things wrong

in that relationship too.

I've never looked at it that way.

I think that's a big part of it, yeah.

Forgiving another person in a breakup

is forgiving yourself too.

That was like a big kind of aha moment for me.

A lot of the film felt very empowering

and you have the ear of so many people.

You say this word a lot throughout it, which is proud,

and you can direct that towards yourself.

And that is something I have struggled with my whole life.

How do you think that you know to reserve

that reflection of being able to be proud of yourself?

Because I think it can help people

live a different life course

if we all can learn from your ability

to be proud of yourself.

'Cause a lot of us have gone through life not doing it,

and it's never too late,

and I'm 47 and I'm asking you

'cause I'm mad I've missed out.

Yeah, I actually think that was something

that the film helped me do.

I'm kind of like you in that way too

where I'm always like, "No, I could always be doing better."

I think, even as women, I think sometimes

we feel like if we're like,

"Yeah, I did this amazing thing,"

that we feel like ashamed to like say that,

or we like wanna be small constantly,

or be like, "I don't wanna be bragging,"

or, you know, whatever. Humility is very dangerous.

Uh huh. It's good for others,

not great for us. Yeah.

But I think I've had a hard time walking that line,

so that means a lot that you appreciated that.

But, yeah, I think this film,

you know, I made it kind of long after

I'd written the album,

and I could kind of take a few steps back

and look at it from a different vantage point.

So, I don't know, I just think it took growing up

for me to realize that you can be proud of yourself

and also keep working hard at things,

and also be humbled, and be so grateful,

and also be so, you know, privileged.

And I've come from a lot of privilege and I recognize that.

But I can also, you know, still be proud of the things

that I've done with that.

Do you have those people

that will tell you the truth?

Completely.

Yeah, I feel like we definitely had a similar experience

growing up as child actors where you're like on a set,

and I kind of talked about it a little bit in the film.

But like you like do a little thing and they're like,

"Oh my God, you're so brilliant, this is amazing,"

and how insecure that can make you.

'Cause I just remember being like,

"Oh, I could do the worst thing and people could,

you know, say that I did an amazing thing.

So how will I know if I'm actually doing a good job?"

And I kinda like swung to the other side of the pendulum

where I just thought everything

that I did was bad all the time.

Okay, whoa, I'm having an aha moment, I'm not kidding.

This wasn't in my notes,

but have we accepted less in relationships

to compensate for that?

Possibly, or I think

maybe we like really like criticism in that way,

because we didn't hear a lot of it growing up.

And so, I don't know,

I definitely like gravitate towards people

who are like that in a good way,

but maybe also in a bad way.

That's an interesting, yeah, aha moment.

Well, also how can people, like us,

be continually heartbroken and single?

What are we not doing right,

or what are we choosing,

or what do we need to choose in the future,

or can we be happy single?

Like sometimes if I'm just with my girlfriends,

I don't need anything else. Totally.

I'm in the era of my life now where,

I was thinking about this earlier,

I'm like, "Oh my God, all of my female friendships

have been so much more fulfilling

than any like relationship that I've ever had."

You know, they're so much more fun

and I've learned so much about myself,

and I just think that's just the relationship

that should always take priority in your life.

(upbeat music)