I deserve goodwill and sympathy? Am I on track? And, most commonly, the person who first answers  

我應該得到善意和同情嗎？我是否走上了正軌？而且，最常見的是，首先回答的人是

these questions is a parent. Perhaps this  parent happens to be generous and sympathetic,  

這些問題是一個父母。也許這位家長恰好是慷慨的、有同情心的。

they are warm and understanding of the challenges  of being alive - in which case the child develops  

他們對活著的挑戰感到溫暖和理解--在這種情況下，孩子會發展成

an easy conscience. In the years to come,  they appraise themselves with benignancy,  

一個輕鬆的良知。在未來的歲月裡，他們以良性的方式評價自己。

they don’t continuously have to wonder  whether they have a right to exist.  

他們不需要不斷懷疑自己是否有權利存在。

They are comfortably on their own side. But if the parent is more punitive,  

他們在自己的立場上很舒服。但如果父母的懲罰性更強。

the picture grows darker: approval is always  uncertain, there is a constant fear of being  

畫面越來越暗淡：準許總是不確定的，總是擔心自己會被淘汰。

called arrogant or of being upbraided  for something one hadn’t thought about. 

被稱為傲慢的人，或者因為自己沒有想到的事情而被指責。

What’s tricky is that consciences don’t  stay neatly identified with those who  

棘手的是，良知並不整齊地與那些

kickstarted them. It’s rare to find an adult who  actively still wonders what their parents think.  

啟動他們。很少能找到一個主動仍想知道自己父母想法的成年人。

But that isn’t to say that we aren’t wondering  about our value in more general terms. It’s  

但這並不是說我們不懷疑自己的價值，而是更普遍的。它是

just that we may, without noticing, have taken  the question somewhere else - and very often,  

只是，我們可能在不知不覺中把問題帶到了別的地方--而且經常如此。

to particularly harsh modern figure  of authority: media and social media. 

到特別苛刻的現代權威人物：媒體和社交媒體。

To this pitiless arena, the self-doubting person  now directs all their fears of unworthiness  

在這個無情的舞臺上，自我懷疑的人現在把他們所有對不值得的恐懼都指向了

and panicked desire for reassurance. To a  system set up to reward sadism and malice,  

和恐慌地渴望得到保證。對一個為獎勵虐待狂和惡意而設置的系統。

they constantly raise their  phones and implicitly ask:  

他們不斷地舉起手機，含蓄地詢問。

Do I deserve to exist? Am I OK? Am  I beautiful or respectable enough? 

我值得存在嗎？我還好嗎？我是否足夠美麗或受人尊敬？

And, because social media is built on  the troubles of the individual soul,  

而且，因為社交媒體是建立在個人靈魂的煩惱上的。

the verdict is never a reliable yes. One is never  done with cycles of fear and reassurance-seeking.  

判決從來都不是一個可靠的 "是"。一個人永遠無法完成恐懼和尋求保證的循環。

Every time their spirits sink (which  is often), the self-doubting sufferer  

每當他們的精神沉淪時（這是經常的），自我懷疑的患者

picks up their phone and begs to know  whether they have permission to go on. 

拿起他們的電話，要求知道他們是否被允許繼續前進。

If this might be us, we should grow curious about,  and jealous of, people who are free. They are so  

如果這可能是我們，我們應該對那些自由的人越來越好奇，並嫉妒他們。他們是如此

because someone long ago settled the question of  what they were worth and the answer has seemed  

因為很早以前就有人解決了它們的價值問題，而且答案似乎也是如此。

solid ever since. Social media is a roar in  the next valley, not a mob in their own mind. 

自此穩固。社會媒體是隔壁山谷中的吼聲，而不是他們自己心中的暴民。

Learning from these calm souls won’t  just involve deleting a few apps,  

向這些冷靜的靈魂學習，不會只涉及刪除一些應用程序。

we will have to go further upstream, back to the  baby self, whose alarmed enquiries we must quiet  

我們將不得不再往上游走，回到嬰兒期的自己，我們必須平息他的驚恐的詢問。

once and for all with ample doses of  soothing, and till-now absent kindness.

一勞永逸的是充足的安撫，以及直到現在還沒有的善意。