And, most commonly, the person who first answers these questions is a parent.

而通常，首先回答這些問題的人是父母。

Perhaps this parent happens to be generous and sympathetic.

也許這位父母恰好是慷慨和富有同情心的。

They are warm and understanding of the challenges of being alive - in which case the child develops an easy conscience.

他們很暖心，很能理解活著的挑戰——在這種情況下，孩子會變得很容易問心無愧。

In the years to come, they appraise themselves with benignancy, they don’t continuously have to wonder whether they have a right to exist.  

在未來的歲月裡，他們以善意的態度評價自己，他們不必一直懷疑自己是否有生存的權利。

They are comfortably on their own side.

他們很自在地站在自己這邊。

But if the parent is more punitive, the picture grows darker: approval is always uncertain, there is a constant fear of being called arrogant or of being upbraided for something one hadn’t thought about. 

但如果父母愛懲罰，那麼情況就會變得比較負面：總是不確定允不允許、總是害怕被稱為傲慢或因為一個人沒有想到的事情而受到指責。

What’s tricky is that consciences don’t stay neatly identified with those who kickstarted them.

棘手的是，良心並沒有與那些啟動他們的人保持一致。

It’s rare to find an adult who actively still wonders what their parents think.  

很少有成年人仍然積極地想知道他們父母的想法。

But that isn’t to say that we aren’t wondering about our value in more general terms.

但這不表示我們不懷疑我們的價值。

It’s just that we may, without noticing, have taken the question somewhere else - and very often, to particularly harsh modern figure of authority: media and social media. 

只是我們可能會在沒有注意到的情況下將這個問題帶到其他地方——而且經常是針對特別苛刻的現代權威對象：媒體和社交媒體。

To this pitiless arena, the self-doubting person now directs all their fears of unworthiness and panicked desire for reassurance to a system set up to reward sadism and malice.

在這個無情的舞台上，自我懷疑的人現在將所有對不值得的恐懼和對安心的恐慌渴望導向一個為獎勵虐待狂和惡意而設立的系統，

They constantly raise their phones and implicitly ask: Do I deserve to exist? Am I OK? Am I beautiful or respectable enough? 

他們不斷地舉起手機，含蓄地詢問：我值得存在嗎？我還好嗎？我是否足夠美麗或受人尊敬？

And, because social media is built on the troubles of the individual soul, the verdict is never a reliable yes.

而且，由於社交媒體是建立在個人靈魂的煩惱之上的，因此批判永遠不會是可靠的。

One is never done with cycles of fear and reassurance-seeking.  

沒有人會停止恐懼和尋求安慰的循環。

Every time their spirits sink (which is often), the self-doubting sufferer picks up their phone and begs to know whether they have permission to go on. 

每當他們的情緒低落（經常如此）時，自我懷疑的患者都會拿起電話，乞求知道他們是否有繼續活下去的許可。

If this might be us, we should grow curious about, and jealous of, people who are free.

如果這可能是我們，我們應該對自由的人感到好奇和嫉妒。

They are so because someone long ago settled the question of what they were worth and the answer has seemed solid ever since.

他們之所以如此，是因為很久以前有人解決了他們價值的問題，而從那以後答案似乎很可靠。

Social media is a roar in the next valley, not a mob in their own mind. 

社交媒體是下一個山谷的咆哮，而不是他們自己心中的暴民。

Learning from these calm souls won’t just involve deleting a few apps,  

向這些平靜的靈魂學習不僅涉及刪除一些應用程式，

we will have to go further upstream, back to the baby self, whose alarmed inquiries we must quiet once and for all with ample doses of soothing, and till-now absent kindness.

我們將不得不更進一步，回到嬰兒的自我，我們必須一勞永逸地安撫嬰兒的驚恐詢問，並給予足夠的安慰，直到現在還沒有善意。