MSG is salt on crack. Don't need salt.

係 Uncle Roger 啊

Salt is so 2005.

今日 阿叔要睇啲中國嘅煮食片

(beep)

係啲fans sent俾我嘅

Hello, niece and nephew. It's uncle Roger.

我唸哩條片入邊 佢地係整緊

Today, uncle Roger gonna react to Chinese cooking video

蕃茄炒蛋

sent to me by a fan.

阿叔我以前就未睇過嘅

I think this video, they are making

我都唔知會發生啲咩事嘅

scrambled eggs with tomato.

啲中國人會唔會整得好過BBC FOOD 呢?

Uncle Roger, I never seen this video before.

我地一齊睇下

Don't know what to expect.

去片

Are Chinese people better at cooking than BBC food?

蕃茄炒蛋好似好易咁 其實第一步你哋就做錯咗

Let's see, let's see.

咩事 咩事

(speaking foreign language) (upbeat music)

咁大壇嘢嘅喂

(thunder crashing)

好大壇嘢喎

What, what, what, what?

哩個唔係

Too many things happening, too many things happening.

我想象咁教人整嘢食

This is not,

教你點樣整蕃茄炒蛋但係

I thought this was supposed to be cooking video,

點解咁多啲咩功夫又咩龍珠嗰啲騎呢嘢

teach you how to make scramble egg and tomato,

乜鬼嘢嚟架

but why all this kung fu Dragonball bullshit.

"無根水(初汲的井水)"

What is this?

好大壇嘢

(upbeat music)

佢搞到好撚大壇嘢

So many, so many things going on.

阿叔要唞唞先

Uncle Roger need to take a break

然後再重頭睇過

and start from the beginning.

我諗佢唔係認真教人煮餸嘅片嚟

I think this is just like

應該只係啲9片

not actual cooking recipe tutorial.

好啦 我哋重頭睇過

This is just social media, funny video.

轉一轉個思維先

So let's start from beginning. Change my mindset.

OK OK 好

(speaking in foreign language)

最起碼佢唔係用啲濕鳩電磁爐

Okay, okay, good.

佢係用明火

At least you don't use induction stove.

sor9ry, 阿叔飆緊汗

She used actual fire.

因為依家係英國嘅夏天

(upbeat music)

然後英國人唔中意開冷氣

Sorry, uncle Roger sweating.

阿叔喺度忍受緊啲咁熱嘅天氣

Because now it's summer in UK

如果你想課金俾我買部冷氣嘅話

and people in UK hate air conditioning.

話我知

Uncle Roger suffering.

你就會係我最中意嘅侄仔或者侄女 :)

If you want to sponsor uncle Roger one air con,

哩個就係啲亞洲人點解咁慳皮

let me know, you will be my favorite niece or nephew.

我哋唔想俾錢交電費

(upbeat music)

亦都唔想交水費

(thunder crashing)

所以就喺個天到引啲電同埋水嚟用

This is how cheap Asian people are.

咁大個仔，阿叔從來都冇俾過錢交電費

We don't like to pay electric bill.

都係偷隔離屋啲電同水嚟用

We don't want to pay water bill.

亞洲人，我地真係好慳皮

So we take electric and water from sky.

有時阿叔連wifi都唔想俾錢買

Growing up uncle Roger never pay for electric bill.

阿叔就去啲咖啡店到

Just steal electric and water from neighbor.

買杯啡 3蚊美金

Asian people be very cheap.

然後就打躉打足五個鐘

Sometime uncle Roger don't even want to pay for wifi.

邊度都可以係我嘅office =)

Uncle Roger, just go to coffee shop, buy one coffee, $3.

佢著緊嗰件衫寫咗啲咩?

Stay for five hour.

上面寫住

The cheapest office anywhere.

他們會無視你的存在，直到他們再也無法不注意你

And what is she wearing on her shirt?

佢用功夫嚟整奄列

It says they will ignore you until they can't.

邊個會無視你

She used kung fu to make omelet.

啲人驚你就真

Nobody ignoring you. People scared of you.

冇人無視緊你

Nobody ignoring you.

好多啲亞洲人 成日都好中意著啲英文T-shirt

Many Asian people, we like wearing shirts with English word.

我喺亞洲地區見過好多次

I see that many time in Asia. It's like white people.

就好似啲白人

They like getting tattoo of Chinese words.

中意紋啲中文喺自己個身上面咁

We all think we very cultured.

大家都覺得自己好有文化 =)

(upbeat music)

咁就有啲水

Oh, that's the water. Okay, water on tomato.

放啲水落蕃茄到 OK OK

Okay. Okay.

嗱嗱嗱 唔好拎住把刀 fing 嚟 fing 去

(upbeat music)

出事架嗎

Okay, okay. Don't spin knife around.

你拎住把刀喺度fing

That very dangerous.

你一跣手

You spin knife around, you slip, the knife cut your toe.

就冇咗啲腳趾架啦

I only have nine toe.

咁你就得返9隻腳趾

How you go about your life only have nine toe.

你下半世點算呢

That is very sad. Nine toe people are the worst people.

好慘架嗎

(upbeat music)

得9隻腳趾嘅人係壞咗嘅人(自己都笑咗)

(whistling)

隻雞喺邊度嚟架??

Where she get chicken from?

喺個天花板到拎嘅???

From ceiling! How you store chicken in ceiling?

你點會擺隻雞喺天花板到

That is not very nice to chicken.

咁對隻雞唔好架

Don't store chicken in ceiling. It's not free range chicken.

千其唔好擺隻雞喺天花板

If you store any pet in ceiling, that is animal abuse.

咁搞法就唔係走地雞

(upbeat music) (chicken clucking)

如果你擺任何動物喺天花板呢

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

就係虐待動物

How can that chicken lay eggs? That is rooster.

咪住 咪住 等陣先

That is male chicken. How you make male chicken lay egg?

隻雞點會生蛋

Is your kung fu that good you can give chicken a sex change?

公雞嚟架喎

(upbeat music) (chicken clucking)

哩隻係公雞嚟架

She make the chicken lay egg.

公雞又點會生蛋啊

And then when it's done, she just throw chicken out.

哇 你啲功夫咁勁

(speaks in foreign language)

可以幫隻雞變性

That is how uncle Roger ex-wife auntie Helen.

隻雞幫佢生蛋

That is how auntie Helen treat me.

搞掂晒之後

She used uncle Roger, and then when finished using,

佢就咁掉咗隻雞

she throw me out just like chicken.

唉----- 呀---------

(rain falling)

阿叔個前妻Auntie Helen 就係咁

(upbeat music)

Auntie Helen就係咁對我

How you? Wait, wait, wait, wait, what?

佢利用我

Uncle Roger got to watch this again.

然後利用完之後

You catch egg, but the fourth egg is piece of shit.

就掉低我

How you crack egg open and his shit come out? How?

就好似隻雞咁 Q____Q

And actually throw the shit to cat? Is that what you feed?

唉---

You feeding shit to your cat.

吓?

This woman, she abused the chicken. Then she abused the cat.

等陣先

(speaks in foreign language)

咩事

Don't give this woman any pet. They will need therapy.

阿叔要睇多次先

(upbeat music)

打隻蛋入個碗到

- Okay. It's a vinegar and white pepper.

但係第四隻蛋係舊屎嚟??

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, replay, replay, replay.

點樣打開隻蛋先會有舊屎出嚟 ??

What was she doing with the egg?

點先會

(upbeat music)

佢掉舊屎俾隻貓食?

How you have all this kung fu skill,

你就係餵啲咁嘅嘢?

but you need washing machine to scramble egg?

你餵舊屎俾你隻貓食?

Of all the thing that she can do,

哩條女

she can't whisk her own egg.

哩頭虐待隻雞

So sad.

嗰頭又虐待隻貓

(upbeat music)

唉 ----- 呀 ------

Did uncle Roger see what I just see?

千其唔好再俾任何動物佢養

(upbeat music)

真係俾條女玩死

She cooked with MSG. Oh my God!

落啲醋同埋胡椒粉

This is uncle Roger first time seeing cooking video

等陣 等陣

where the chef use MSG.

回帶 回帶

This is best cooking instructional video.

佢點整啲蛋

Uncle Roger love MSG.

點解你啲功夫咁耍家

Since my last egg fried rice video

但要部洗衣機幫你?蛋

many people asking me, what is MSG?

佢可以做到咁多嘢

And uncle Roger want to say MSG is king of flavor.

但?隻蛋都做唔到

It's better version of salt. MSG is salt on crack.

真係陰公豬 :'(

If you have salt at home, throw it out.

阿叔係米見到啲咩

Don't need salt. Salt is so 2005.

佢落味精(雞粉)?

Now all the cultured people use MSG.

唔

MSG make everything better.

係

Uncle Roger should have put MSG on my marriage.

啩

Then maybe auntie Helen won't throw me out like chicken.

阿叔都係第一次見

(sigh)

第一次見啲煮食片會教人落味精

(upbeat music)

哩條係最正嘅煮食教學片!

Notice how in this whole video, full of kung fu,

阿叔最中意味精

full of shit from egg, full of everything,

我上次條蛋炒飯片

but no colander.

好多人問我

Uncle Roger like this video. Very authentic Asian cooking.

咩係味精(MSG)

It's like Bruce Lee meet Master Chef.

我就想講

Next week video is uncle Roger

味精係調味料入邊嘅戰鬥機

going on Zoom date with auntie Jenny.

比鹽更加之正

So subscribe now and turn on notification

味精

if you want to know what happened during that date.

係調味料界嘅白粉

Also go follow uncle Roger on Instagram. Bye bye.

如果你屋企有鹽