Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • How do you build a better world? There are so many well-known, urgent places you might

    心理治療

  • start: malaria, carbon emissions, tax evasion, the drug trade, soil erosion, water pollution

    溫尼考特

  • Donald Winnicott deserves his place in history because of the dramatic simplicity of his

    如何讓世界變的更好?

  • approach. He proposed that the happiness of the human race depended ultimately not so

    有很多已知、迫切的問題可以著手:

  • much on external political issues, but on the way parents bring up their children.

    瘧疾、碳排放、逃漏稅、毒品交易、土壤侵蝕、水污染…

  • Born in 1896, Winnicott was Britain's first medically-trained child psychoanalyst.

    溫尼考特能在歷史留名,就是因為他的方法出奇的簡單

  • Although he had no children of his own, he played a crucial and devoted role in public

    他認為,人類的幸福並非由外部政治決定

  • education around child-rearing, delivering some 600 talks on the BBC, tirelessly lecturing

    而是取決於父母養育孩子的方式

  • around the country and authoring 15 books, among which the bestselling collection of

    溫尼考特出生於1896年

  • essays, Home is Where We Start From.

    是英國第一位接受醫學訓練的兒童精神分析師

  • It was rather strange that Winnicott should even have been English given that his country

    他雖然自己沒有小孩

  • was notorious, then as now, for its lack of tenderness and its resistance to introspection.

    但在育兒的公眾教育方面,扮演重要角色

  • And yet Winnicott's brand of psychoanalysis was, on closer inspection, peculiarly English.

    他在BBC發表過600場演講

  • There was a characteristic English modesty about what he saw as the point of child psychoanalysis.

    全國奔走講課

  • His famous radio series was simply titled The Ordinary Devoted Mother and Her Baby.

    寫了15本書

  • He wanted to help people to be, in his famous formulation,

    包括最暢銷的短文精選:

  • good enough

    Home is where We Start from (家是我們出發的所在)

  • parents; not brilliant or perfect ones (as other nations might have wished), but just

    溫尼考特是英國人其實有點奇怪

  • OK.

    因為英國缺乏溫情已是惡名昭彰,且欠缺自省能力

  • So what would it take, in his eyes, to encourage the 'good enough' parent? Winnicott put

    但是,溫尼考特的精神分析

  • forward a number of suggestions:

    如果細看,其實是非常英國的

  • Winnicott begins by impressing on his audience how psychologically fragile an infant is.

    從他的視角所看到的精神分析的重點,有一種英國式的謙遜

  • It doesn't understand itself, it doesn't know where it is, it is struggling to stay

    他最知名的廣播節目的標題,就是很簡單的

  • alive, it has no way of grasping when the next feed will come, it can't communicate

    The Ordinary Devoted Mother and Her Baby (尋常、專注的母親與她的嬰兒)

  • with itself or others.

    他希望藉由他的構想,能夠幫助人們成為「夠好的」父母

  • Winnicott's work never loses sight of this, and he therefore repeatedly insists that it

    不像其他國家想要「傑出的」或「完美的」父母

  • is those around the infant who have to adapt so as to do everything to interpret the child's

    只要「OK」就行了

  • needs and not impose demands for which the child is not ready.

    所以從他的角度來說,怎樣可以養成「夠好的」父母?

  • For example, Winnicott knew what violence, what hate there could be in a healthy infant.

    溫尼考特提出幾個建議:

  • Referring to what happens if a parent forgets a feed, he cautioned: 'If you fail him,

    1. 記住,你的孩子非常脆弱

  • it must feel to him as if the wild beasts would gobble him up.'

    溫尼考特首先讓他的聽眾注意到,嬰兒的心理非常脆弱

  • But though the infant might sometimes want to kill and destroy, it is vital for the parents

    嬰兒不了解自己,不知道自己在哪裡,努力求生

  • to allow rage to expend itself, and for them not in any way to be threatened or moralistic

    他不知道何時有下一餐什麼

  • about 'bad' behaviour: 'If a baby cries in a state of rageand yet the people

    無法表達自己或與他人溝通

  • round him remain calm and unhurt, this experience greatly strengthens his ability to see that

    溫尼考特的論述都緊扣這個主張

  • what he feels to be true is not necessarily real.'

    他一直強調

  • Parents are delighted when infants and children follow their rules. Such children are called

    必須是由圍繞著嬰兒的人來適應嬰兒,努力解讀嬰兒的需求

  • good. Winnicott was very scared of 'good' children.

    不要強加要求在尚未備妥的嬰兒身上

  • He believed that they were the children of parents who could not tolerate too much bad

    2. 允許孩子憤怒

  • behaviour and demanded compliance too early and too strictly. This would lead, in Winnicott's

    舉例來說,溫尼考特知道,健康的嬰兒可能有暴力、有仇恨

  • formulation, to the emergence of a

    這裡指的是,如果父母忘了餵他吃東西

  • False Self

    溫尼考特提醒大家:

  • – a persona that would be outwardly compliant, outwardly good, but was suppressing its vital instincts.

    「如果你讓嬰兒失望,他會覺得好像被猛獸生吞活剝。」

  • In Winnicott's scheme, adults who can't be creative, who are somehow a little dead

    但雖然嬰兒有時想要殺戮或摧毀,父母必須能讓嬰兒表達這種憤怒

  • inside, are almost always the children of parents who have not been able to tolerate

    而不被威脅,或用道德勸說的態度來處理「不乖」的行為

  • defiance, parents who have made their offspring 'good' way before their time, thereby

    溫尼考特說:「如果嬰兒憤怒狂哭,而周遭的人能保持冷靜且不受傷害,

  • killing their capacity to be properly good, properly generous and kind.

    這種經驗就能大幅強化嬰兒的能力,

  • Every failure of the environment forces a child to adapt prematurely. For example, if

    知道他所真切感受到的,不見得一定是真的。」

  • the parents are too chaotic, the child quickly tries to over-think the situation. Its rational

    3. 孩子不能太乖

  • faculties are over-stimulated (it may, in later life, try to be an intellectual).

    孩子守規矩,父母都會很高興

  • A parent who is depressed might unwittingly force the child to be too cheerfulgiving

    這種孩子被視為乖孩子

  • it no time to process its own melancholy feelings. Winnicott saw the dangers in a child who,

    溫尼考特則很怕乖小孩

  • in his words, has to 'look after mother's mood'.

    他認為,乖小孩的父母不太能忍受不乖的行為

  • Winnicott had a special hatred for 'people who are always jogging babies up and down

    在孩子很小的時候,就嚴格要求孩子服從

  • on their knees trying to produce a giggle.' This was merely their way of warding off their

    根據溫尼考特的論述

  • own sadness, by demanding laughter from a baby who might have very different things

    這會導致「假我」

  • on its mind.

    也就是表面看起來順從、乖順,但壓抑自己的生命本能

  • The primordial act of parental health for Winnicott is simply to be able to tune out

    以溫尼考特的架構來說,沒有創意的成年人,或看起來內在沒有生命力的人

  • of oneself for a time in the name of empathising with the ways and needs of a small, mysterious,

    其父母幾乎都無法忍受不順從

  • beautiful fragile person whose unique otherness must be acknowledged and

    在孩子還太小時就要求孩子要乖,因此扼殺孩子的能力

  • respected in full measure.

    無法達到恰如其分的乖巧、允當的寬厚與得宜的慈善

  • Many of the parents Winnicott saw were worn down by their labours. Winnicott tried to

    4. 讓孩子做自己

  • bolster them by reminding them of the utmost importance of what they were doing. They were,

    每個環境的失敗都會迫使孩子早熟。

  • in their own way, as significant to the nation as the Prime Minister and the Cabinet.

    例如,父母太混亂無秩序,孩子很快就會想太多。

  • Winnicott called parenting: 'the only real basis for a healthy society, and the only

    他的理性認知機能被過度刺激,也許長大後會想成為知識份子。

  • factory for the democratic tendency in a country's social system.'

    憂鬱的父母可能會讓孩子變成開心果,因為孩子沒有時間去消化自己的憂鬱

  • In his descriptions of what parents should do for their children, Winnicott was in effect

    「得照顧母親情緒」的孩子,溫尼考特看到他們的問題

  • referring to a term which he rarely mentioned directly: love. We often imagine love to be

    溫尼考特特別討厭看到有人把孩子放在膝頭上下搖晃,試圖讓孩子笑

  • about a magical intuitive 'connection' with someone. But, in Winnicott's writings,

    大人故意逗嬰兒笑,只是藉此隔離自己的悲傷

  • we get a different picture. It's about a surrender of the ego, a putting aside of one's

    這個嬰兒可能有非常不一樣的心事

  • own needs and assumptions, for the sake of close, attentive listening to another, whose

    溫尼考特認為,健康的父母最原始的呈現方式

  • mystery one respects, along with a commitment not to get offended, not to retaliate, when

    就是能夠暫時忘記自己,同理嬰兒的需求

  • something 'bad' emerges, as it often does when one is close to someone, child or adult.

    這個小小的生命美麗而脆弱,他的獨特存在必須能被完全承認,並被完全尊重

  • Since Winnicott's death, we've collectively grown a little better at parenting.

    5. 認真看待親職

  • But only a little. We may spend more time with our children, we know in theory that

    溫尼考特發現很多父母都被自己的工作累垮

  • they matter a lot, but we're arguably still failing at the part Winnicott focused on:

    他努力支持這些父母

  • ADAPTATION

    提醒他們親職的重要性,不亞於一個國家的首相與內閣

  • We still routinely fail to suppress our own needs or stifle our own demands when we're

    溫尼考特認為親職是「健康社會唯一真正的基礎,也是打造國家社會制度民主基礎的唯一方式」

  • with a child.

    溫尼考特描述父母該為孩子做什麼時,他所指稱的

  • We're still learning how to love our childrenand that, Winnicott would argue, is why

    其實是他很少直接提及的「愛」

  • the world is still full of the walking-wounded, people of outward 'success' and respectability

    我們一直認為愛是神奇、本能地跟別人產生「連結」

  • who are nevertheless not quite 'real' inside and inflict their wounds on others.

    但在溫尼考特的論述裡,我們看到愛的不同的風貌

  • We've a way to go until we are fully 'good enough.' It's a taskWinnicott would

    愛是一種對“自我”的退讓,把自己的需求與假設放在一邊

  • have insistedthat's in its own way as important as any other.

    才能密切的、專注地聆聽另一個人,並承認這個人是我們所不懂的

How do you build a better world? There are so many well-known, urgent places you might

心理治療

字幕與單字

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋

B1 中級 中文 英國腔 孩子 嬰兒 父母 論述 小孩 需求

心理治療 - 唐納德·溫尼科特(PSYCHOTHERAPY - Donald Winnicott)

  • 7 0
    erinfong7212 發佈於 2022 年 02 月 18 日
影片單字