The fact that those topics seem to pull a lot more views probably says something about human nature, and the fact that I exploit this by making more videos on those topics, probably says something about me.

這些話題看起來能吸引更多觀看數這點或許解釋了人類的嗜血本質，而我運用了這點並做了更多關於這種話題的影片，則說明了我這個人的本質。

But please consider I have to spend a full week researching, writing, drawing, recording, and editing every single one of these topics.

但請想像一下，我每次都得花上一整個星期研究、寫稿、畫圖、錄音與剪輯每一個這種話題。

That's a long time to be steeped in war, death, and destruction, especially when I'm making a new video every week.

這代表我得花上很長的時間沉浸在戰爭、死亡和毀滅的故事中，特別是我每個禮拜都得推出一個新影片。

I do like to take a break from human misery every now and then. God knows my own is enough.

所以我偶爾也想擺脫人倫悲劇，休息一下。我光處理自己的問題就受不了了。

So, here's a story about a baboon working on a railway.

所以，接下來要講的是一隻為鐵路公司工作的狒狒的故事。

In the late 1800s, James White, or Jumper White to his friends, was a double leg amputee working on the railway line between Port Elizabeth and Cape Town in South Africa.

在 19 世紀末時，詹姆士·懷特，或被他的朋友們暱稱為「跳跳人懷特」是個雙腿被截肢，在南非伊莉莎白港與開普敦之間的鐵路工作的員工。

Seems a bit cruel to nickname a double leg amputee jumper, but he had actually earned his name years before, while he was working as a guard for the railway.

叫一個雙腿被截肢的人「跳跳人」好像有點殘酷，不過他其實早在多年以前就得到這個稱號了，而當時他的工作是鐵路的警衛。

He was known to jump and swing from car to car while working the line, hence the nickname "Jumper", until one day he fell between two moving cars and lost his legs at the knees.

他因為在工作時常從頂部在車廂間跳躍而聞名，因此得到了「跳跳人」的稱號，直到有天他在這麼做時掉進車廂間的縫隙，讓他失去了膝蓋以下的雙腳為止。

And as the song goes, he ain't gonna jump no more.

就像軍歌唱的那樣，他再也不用跳，也沒得跳了。(譯著：此處指的是《 Blood on the Risers 》一曲)

Having no legs was a bit of an obstacle on his career path as a guard, and White went unemployed for a while.

失去了雙腳讓他無法再繼續做為警衛工作，因此懷特就此失業了一陣子。

Although he wasn't in physical form, he kept his spirits high, making a pair of peg legs and rejoining the railway, this time as a signal man at a small station in the town of Uitenhage.

雖然他的身體狀況不佳，但他仍依然保持著振奮的精神，並在為自己做了雙木棍做的義足之後重新加入了鐵路公司。這次他的職責是負責為一個位於 Uitenhage 的小車站擔當信號員。

Although he was still able to walk with the aid of a crutch, White's mobility was greatly reduced.

雖然他還是能撐著枴杖走路，但懷特的行動力已大不如前。

While he was able to perform his tasks as signalman, he lived half a mile away from the signal box, so the journey to and from work was a bit troublesome.

雖然他確實能夠做好信號員的工作，但由於他住在離信號箱半英里 (約 0.8 公里) 遠的地方，通勤的路程令他有些困擾。

Thus he was inspired to build a small trolley with which he could wheel himself around on.

因此他便打造了一台小小的推車，讓他能夠坐在上面移動。

James White worked like this for several years until one day he came across a life changing scene at the Uitenhage marketplace.

詹姆士·懷特持續這樣工作了數年，直到有一天，他在 Uitenhage 的市集中看到了改變他一生的景象。

An ox cart that was being driven by a monkey. A baboon, to be exact. White was astonished, and approached the owner.

一隻猴子正駕駛著一台牛車。更精確的說，那是一隻狒狒。懷特震驚於眼前的景象，並前去與牛車的主人搭話。

The owner explained the monkey was unusually intelligent, so he had trained him to do some basic tasks for him.

牛車主人解釋到由於這隻猴子實在是異常聰明，他於是訓練牠幫牠做一些簡單的工作。

This gave James an idea. With his restricted mobility, such a helper would make his life much easier.

這給了詹姆士靈感。由於自己的移動能力有限，要是能有這麼一個幫手的話，他就能輕鬆多了。

He persuaded the owner to sell him the monkey.

他說服了原主人把猴子賣給他。

Sounds like a pretty hard sell, giving away your trained monkey.

乍聽之下這是筆艱難的買賣，畢竟要這樣直接放棄辛辛苦苦訓練好的猴子。

But honestly, the amount of people who probably stopped this guy to ask about the working monkey probably negated any of the time saved by the monkey doing the work.

但老實說，因為這隻猴子而跑來搭話的人所浪費的時間，搞不好就比因為有猴子幫忙而省下的時間還多了。

It's probably less hassle for him to just do everything himself.

對他來說，搞不好全都自己親力親為還比較沒那麼麻煩。

And so James named the monkey Jack, and took him to work with him every day.

於是詹姆士把猴子命名為傑克，並每天都帶他前去工作。

Jack soon became invaluable to James, learning to push and pull his trolley around as well as providing companionship, alleviating the boredom and loneliness of working the signal box all day.

傑克很快就成了詹姆士不可或缺的存在，學會了如何推拉詹姆士的推車到處走，並為他提供了陪伴，排解了整天就是操控著信號盒工作所產生的枯燥與寂寞感。

And soon Jack picked up other tasks.

而傑克很快便學會了其他絕活。

When an approaching train required more coal, it would sound the whistle four times to alert James, who would then fetch the keys to the coal shed, and have them ready for the driver.

當前來的列車需要更多煤炭時，列車會吹響汽笛四次來提醒詹姆士把煤炭小屋的鑰匙拿出來，在列車到來時拿給駕駛。

Observing this, Jack eventually learned that four whistles was the signal to fetch the keys, and started doing it himself.

觀察到這個景象之後，傑克最後學到了四聲汽笛聲響代表要去拿鑰匙，並開始自己幫忙這麼做。

White even managed to teach Jack how to operate the railway signals, holding up a number of fingers to indicate which lever needed to be pulled, and suddenly, James White's job had become very easy.

懷特甚至還教了傑克該怎麼操作鐵路信號，並藉由比手勢伸出幾根手指來指示要拉哪個槓桿。突然間，詹姆士·懷特的工作變得輕鬆無比。

His workday probably being less intensive on him than an able bodied signalman.

他的工作過程搞不好比一個四肢健全的信號員還要更輕鬆。

From this point on, Jack was promoted from "Jack the Baboon", to "Jack the Signalman". Isn't evolution amazing?

從這時候開始，傑克便從「狒狒傑克」被拔擢為了「信號員傑克」。演化真是太美妙了，不是嗎？

He became a local celebrity, and passengers would sometimes toss him treats from the windows.

他成為了當地名人，而列車乘客們有時候還會從窗戶丟點心給他。

James developed a unique bond with Jack, and the two became quite close.

詹姆士與傑克發展出了獨特的羈絆，並成為了親密的伙伴。

They came to enjoy their commute on the trolley, with Jack hopping on board for the ride when he'd pushed the trolley to the top of a hill.

他們開始享受每天搭著推車的通勤路途。傑克會在把推車從山丘上推下來之後，跳上推車一起前行。

James paid Jack his wages in alcohol, without which the monkey would supposedly sulk and refuse to perform his duties.

詹姆士用酒類做為報酬來支付給傑克，而要是沒有酒，這隻猴子便會耍脾氣並拒絕上工。

Ah yes. Monkey, railway signals, alcohol. A recipe for success.

沒錯。由猴子、鐵路信號、酒精所組成的成功秘方。

Well, apparently it was! Because Jack the signalman was reportedly very good at his job, and never made a mistake.

至少看起來確實是這樣！因為信號員傑克據說非常盡忠職守，從來都沒有在工作上犯過錯。

After nine years of service, Jack developed tuberculosis and died in 1890, leaving James White brokenhearted and alone.

而在歷經九年的辛勤工作之後，傑克得了肺結核，並在 1890 年死去，留下詹姆士·懷特 一人獨自心碎。

Ah, there's the human misery.

唉，結果還是講到了人倫悲劇。

Well, I suppose it could only get away from it for so long.

不過，我想生而在世就是沒辦法逃離這種事情太久吧。

Today, Jack's skull is on display in the Albany Museum in Grahamstown, South Africa.

現在傑克的頭骨正放在南非格拉罕鎮的阿爾巴尼博物館中展示著。

So if you ever find yourself in the area, make sure to pay tribute to the best goddamn signalman to ever live.

如果你恰好經過了該區，記得去向史上最棒的信號員致意一下吧。

And while you're here, make sure to pay tribute to the best goddamn Youtuber to ever live.

而既然你來到了本頻道，那就向史上最棒的 YouTuber 致意吧。

Me.

那就是我。

Just like Jack, I will accept alcohol as my weekly wages, but I will also accept subscribing, following me on Twitter, checking out my second channel Qxir2, donating to me on Patreon and buying my lovely, lovely T shirts.

和傑克一樣，我也會接受酒精做為每周的酬勞，但我也接受訂閱、在 Twitter 上追蹤我、看看我的第二頻道 Qxir2、在 Patreon 上贊助我，還有買我超讚的 T 恤。

Right so, cheers.

好啦，再會囉。

Is that another bottle? Beat the Jesus! This is my lucky day. Two bottles!

還有另一瓶？老天爺啊！今天真是太幸運了。兩瓶欸！

Well, now I have none.

呃，現在我一瓶都沒了。

Hello?

哈囉？