Yeah.

是的。

There comes a time in your life when you rethink everything, you're doing a quarter, life crisis.

在你的生活中，有一段時間你會重新思考一切，你在做一個季度，生活危機。

I think I had mine when I turned 24 I loved kids and I love teaching, but times change so quickly and new and exciting opportunities were appearing to me like fireworks before my eyes and I didn't want to miss out on that.

我想我在24歲時就有了我的孩子，我愛孩子，我愛教書，但時代變化如此之快，新的、令人興奮的機會像煙花一樣出現在我眼前，我不想錯過這些。

I started this cool thing called YouTube back in January 2015 and it was during a time when I needed a space to express myself.

早在2015年1月，我就開始了這個叫做YouTube的很酷的東西，那是在我需要一個空間來表達自己的時期。

I was always a creative person, which is why I loved teaching so much.

我一直是一個有創造力的人，這就是為什麼我這麼喜歡教學。

You get that chance to inspire others using your creative skills and abilities.

你有這個機會用你的創造性技能和能力來激勵他人。

But there was always something missing and I was only content and content wasn't going to fly with me.

但總是缺少一些東西，我只是滿足於此，而滿足於此對我來說是不可能的。

So I kept teaching and I loved it.

所以我一直在教書，我喜歡它。

I took chances on it.

我抱著試試看的態度。

I got sick a lot, but I wanted to see if I could progress or move up or succeed or something, but I always felt stuck in the same exact place up until now.

我經常生病，但我想看看我是否能進步或向上發展或成功或其他什麼，但直到現在我總覺得被困在同一個確切的地方。

I wasn't moving forward, I wasn't striving for anything here.

我沒有向前邁進，我沒有在這裡努力爭取什麼。

I wasn't 100% happy and I realized I needed progression in my life.

我不是100%的快樂，我意識到我的生活需要進步。

I had so much inside of me that I needed to just get out.

我內心有太多的東西需要釋放出來。

My 20's were my trial years to figure myself out and I decided I wanted to quit.

我的20歲是我想清楚自己的試驗年，我決定要戒掉。

It feels like good timing.

這感覺是很好的時機。

Yeah, good morning everybody.

是的，大家早上好。

So um this video, I'm not sure if it's gonna be long or short, whatever.

所以，嗯，這個視頻，我不確定它是要長還是要短，不管怎樣。

Today is a workday for me, woke up a little bit later, so I just hurried and did my hair really fast and I was studying for my new job which is going to start in a couple months, but sorry, the microwave is on because I'm making some lunch right now, I'll show you that in a a little bit, but we're gonna sit down here for a second.

今天是我的工作日，起床晚了一點，所以我只是匆匆忙忙地做了一下頭髮，我正在為我的新工作學習，這份工作將在幾個月後開始，但抱歉，微波爐開著，因為我現在正在做一些午餐，我一會兒就會給你看，但我們要在這裡坐一會兒。

So you guys are probably wondering, oh my God, she's quitting her job, she's gonna go full time youtube which is not the case at all.

所以你們可能想知道，哦，我的上帝，她要辭職了，她要去全職做youtube，這根本不是事實。

I am quitting my job.

我正在辭去我的工作。

I'm quitting my full time job where I worked for six or seven years.

我正在辭去我工作了六七年的全職工作。

I was a teacher for a very very long time.

我做了很長時間的老師。

I was a teacher since college, I was teaching as in an internship and during college and S.

我從大學開始就是一名教師，我在實習期間和大學期間都在教書。

L.

L.

Students, if you guys are wondering and Japanese students, students who are learning japanese, I was teaching in a class for that for a few months and just learning on the job and then I moved to Japan, taught in the jet program, taught at international schools and daycares.

學生們，如果你們想知道，還有日本學生，正在學習日語的學生，我在一個班上教了幾個月，只是在工作中學習，然後我搬到了日本，在噴氣機項目中教書，在國際學校和幼兒園教書。

And now I've been working on this current company for so long that you know, I'm just kind of I'm gonna be 30 soon and I just want to be able to push myself to work on youtube.

而現在我已經在目前的這家公司工作了這麼久，你知道，我只是有點我馬上就要30歲了，我只是想能夠推動自己在YouTube上工作。

But obviously youtube is not reliable at all.

但顯然YouTube根本不可靠。

Like if you want to be a full time youtube or you have to be really really really good at what you do and it's very, very hard for a lot of people who start later, a lot of Youtubers that started in the earlier years when youtube started, they can rely on youtube and they're following but I feel like nowadays it's so saturated and so difficult to become big on Youtube I guess.

就像如果你想成為一個全職的youtube，或者你必須在你所做的事情上真的非常非常出色，這對很多起步較晚的人來說非常非常難，很多Youtubers在youtube開始的早些年就開始了，他們可以依靠youtube，他們的粉絲，但我覺得現在已經很飽和了，要在youtube上成為大人物，我想很難。

So that's not my goal.

所以這不是我的目標。

My goal is to go ahead with a sort of business plan.

我的目標是以一種商業計劃的方式進行。

I have some ideas of what I want to be and where I want to be in the next five years and I really, really want to be in a place where I'm helping other people transition to Japan because I love this country so much and I've lived here for so long and I feel like I have a lot to offer.

我有一些想法，我想成為什麼樣的人，我想在未來五年裡在哪裡，我真的非常想在一個地方幫助其他人過渡到日本，因為我非常愛這個國家，我在這裡生活了這麼久，我覺得我有很多東西可以提供。

So that being said I decided to leave my job only because I am changing to a spouse visa and I feel like now that have a spouse visa, I could quit full time and go part time, which is what I'm doing and I'm not working at the same company, I'm working at a different company and I have to go to an office, I can't stay at home.

所以說，我決定離開我的工作，只是因為我正在改成配偶簽證，我覺得現在有了配偶簽證，我可以辭去全職工作，去做兼職，這就是我正在做的，我不在同一家公司工作，我在另一家公司工作，我必須去辦公室，我不能呆在家裡。

So I have always had this mindset where I wanted to do something to help other people and to create a business for myself and for my future family, that's what I want.

所以我一直有這樣的心態，我想做一些事情來幫助別人，為自己和我未來的家庭創造一個事業，這就是我想要的。

So I'm going to try, there's no harm in trying, I've been full of fear for the past few years of like, I can't do this, I can't do that.

所以我要去嘗試，嘗試沒有壞處，過去幾年我一直充滿了恐懼，比如，我不能做這個，我不能做那個。

Not smart enough.

不夠聰明。

I have imposter syndrome, like I have all this stuff going on, I don't want to let that hold me back because I'm getting older now and like, I don't feel like I'm 30 at all, I feel like I'm 25 but I am going to be 30 and I do want to have a family and I really, really want to try to create an environment and a business for myself where I could actually work from home and do my own thing and help other people at the same time.

我有冒名頂替綜合症，就像我有所有這些事情，我不想讓它阻礙我，因為我現在越來越老，就像，我根本不覺得我是30歲，我覺得我是25歲，但我將是30歲，我確實想有一個家庭，我真的，真的想嘗試為自己創造一個環境和業務，我可以真正在家工作，做自己的事情，同時幫助其他人。

So what better timing than to do it now.

是以，還有什麼比現在做更好的時機呢。

So I have to leave in about an hour.

所以我必須在大約一個小時內離開。

So I'm gonna have to eat lunch now.

所以我現在要去吃午飯了。

I had my breakfast, it was a very small breakfast, I had coffee, which I should not have had, but it's organic coffee and you know, I'm gonna drink it once in a while.

我吃了早餐，那是一份非常小的早餐，我喝了咖啡，我不應該喝的，但那是有機咖啡，你知道，我偶爾也會喝。

I don't think that's going to hinder my sorry, you can't see my face.

我不認為那會妨礙我對不起，你看不到我的臉。

I don't think that's going to hinder my healing process today.

我不認為這將會阻礙我今天的治療過程。

I feel like that loop is finally coming to an end.

我覺得這個循環終於要結束了。

It's bittersweet because I never hated what I did.

這是苦樂參半的，因為我從不討厭我所做的事情。

It just turned out that it wasn't for me, who knows?

只是事實證明，它不適合我，誰知道呢？

Maybe I'll go back to it someday, but for now, that's not what I want to try and I needed to start a new chapter in my life.

也許有一天我會回去，但現在，這不是我想嘗試的，我需要開始我生活的新篇章。

I let fear get in the way of change and almost decided to go another year doing it because I was uncomfortable.

我讓恐懼阻礙了改變，幾乎決定再做一年，因為我感到不舒服。

But the things that make you the most uncomfortable when you want it so bad is the universe telling you to jump.

但是，當你非常想要的時候，讓你最不舒服的事情是宇宙告訴你要跳。

I said goodbye to loveless kelly.

我告別了無愛的凱利。

I married the love of my life.

我嫁給了我的夫妻。

I had a good run with teaching and it gave me some of the hardest lessons of my life and some of the best experiences of my life and I wouldn't change it for the world.

我的教學工作做得很好，它給了我生命中一些最艱難的教訓，也給了我生命中一些最好的經歷，我不會改變它。

There's nothing wrong with sticking to being a teacher.

堅持做一名教師並沒有錯。

It could be the best time of your life until you retire.

這可能是你一生中最好的時光，直到你退休。

A lot of people here are teachers for life so don't think because I'm quitting, that means it wasn't worth it because it was, I think if I continued with it I'd be the type to start my own school.

這裡的很多人都是終身教師，所以不要以為我不幹了，就意味著不值得，因為它是值得的，我想如果我繼續幹下去，我就會成為創辦自己的學校的那種人。

But the direction I want to go isn't that find your passion, make the decision and do it.

但我想去的方向不是說找到你的激情，做出決定並去做。

No excuses.

沒有藉口。

It's as simple as that.

就這麼簡單。

Yeah, I looked like they did and what for, that's who I work with.

是的，我看起來像他們一樣，為什麼呢，這就是我的工作對象。

Yeah, now again you this is what they're interested.

是的，現在又是你這是他們的興趣所在。

Mhm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是的。

My husband made me, Well his parents sent us this.

我丈夫給我做的，嗯，他的父母給我們送來了這個。

This looks so good.

這看起來很好。

Oh my God favorite sashimi and do g made some miso sake.

哦，我的上帝，最喜歡的生魚片和do g做了一些味噌酒。

Yes.

是的。

What the heck?

這到底是怎麼回事？

It looks so good spinach.

它看起來很好的菠菜。

What did you make this, how do you make the broth, it's a combo and I use this thing, it's like from chicken bones.

你是怎麼做的，你是怎麼做肉湯的，這是一個組合，我用的是這個東西，就像從雞骨中提取的。

Oh, it's not anything or anything, no, it's all good, you are good.

哦，這不是什麼或什麼，不，這一切都很好，你很好。

Mhm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是的。

Mhm.

嗯。

Mhm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Mhm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Okay, so it's another day, I'm so busy to the point where I just cannot get anything done, like I cannot, mental health and work is real like, it's never felt this overworked in my whole entire life, but I know that it's gonna get better in a couple months because I'll be leaving and I'll have like, I'll be able to focus on that one job.

好了，又是新的一天，我忙得不可開交，就像我不能，心理健康和工作是真實的，在我整個一生中從未感覺到如此過度勞累，但我知道，幾個月後會好起來的，因為我將離開，我將有像，我將能夠專注於那份工作。

So I just really wanted to quickly talk about for like 10 minutes about my teaching journey and where I'm at now with everything and how I felt about Teaching throughout my whole entire 20s.

是以，我真的想快速地談一談，大概10分鐘，談談我的教學歷程和我現在的一切，以及我在整個20年代對教學的感受。

So some of you guys may know, I studied education in college, that I was in the education program, I studied secondary education, which is mostly junior high school in high school, but I really loved working with kids, so all of it was really great.

所以你們中的一些人可能知道，我在大學裡學習教育，我在教育專業，我學習中等教育，這主要是高中的國中，但我真的很喜歡和孩子們一起工作，所以所有這些真的很棒。

I was an intern for a Japanese teacher, so I was teaching high school kids, japanese and then I was teaching sl students, students from all over the world and it was really, really interesting the whole experience when I was in the States and then I moved to Japan for the purpose of teaching.

我是一個日本老師的實習生，所以我教高中生，日語，然後我教sl學生，來自世界各地的學生，當我在美國的時候，整個經歷真的非常非常有趣，然後我搬到日本去教書。

So this is what I wanted to do.

所以這就是我想做的事。

Like that was my dream was to teach in Japan.

就像那是我的夢想一樣，在日本教書。

So I feel like other people that come to Japan just get a teaching job because they feel like they have to, it might be a little bit more difficult of a transition than somebody that really loves teaching and education.

是以，我覺得其他來日本的人只是因為覺得必須要找一份教書的工作，這可能比那些真正熱愛教學和教育的人更難過渡。

But I'm gonna say this that when you teach in Japan there is no res usually there's no raises at the end of the year, there's rarely any bonuses, there's rarely any benefits and things like that, which is an issue I don't know about in the States, but I know that in the States it's very difficult that job, it's low paying.

但我要說的是，當你在日本教書時，沒有res通常在年底沒有加薪，很少有獎金，很少有福利之類的東西，這是我在美國不知道的問題，但我知道在美國，那份工作非常困難，工資很低。

There's there's a lot of unfairness for teachers in the state.

在該州，對教師有很多不公平。

So I know it's also very hard.

所以我知道這也是非常困難的。

So I'm not gonna compare it to the States.

所以我不會把它與美國相比。

I've actually never what, I never had my own classroom in the state.

實際上我從來沒有什麼，我從來沒有在州里有自己的教室。

I was always an assistant or teaching as an intern and things like that.

我一直是助理或作為實習生教書，諸如此類的事情。

So I can't really speak for teachers in the United States do.

所以我不能真正為美國的教師說話。

I think that this whole thing was worth it.

我認為這整個事情是值得的。

Yes, but only because I loved the kids, it was the only thing that made me feel good going to the classes and seeing the kids I taught at an international school.

是的，但只是因為我愛孩子們，這是唯一能讓我在國際學校上課和看到我所教的孩子們感到高興的事情。

So I taught very young kids from babies to like five year olds and then, you know, my current job which I've been with for six years now.

所以我教非常年輕的孩子，從嬰兒到五歲的孩子，然後，你知道，我現在的工作，我已經做了六年了。

I teach from aged zero, like baby mommy's, you don't teach the babies, you teach the mothers how to speak english to their babies And I teach all the way up until like 13 years old.

我從零歲開始教，就像嬰兒媽媽一樣，你不教嬰兒，你教母親如何對嬰兒說英語，我一直教到13歲。

So I've been doing this job for six years and I stayed at this company for that long because I liked, you know the way they taught, I like their method and everything like that.

所以我已經做了六年的工作，我在這家公司呆了那麼久，因為我喜歡，你知道他們的教學方式，我喜歡他們的方法和類似的一切。

I'm not gonna go into detail about it because I'd rather keep that to myself, that's my privacy and that's my life and I don't really want to share every little thing.

我不打算詳細介紹，因為我寧願保留這些，那是我的隱私，那是我的生活，我真的不想分享每一件小事。

Um but I think a lot of jobs are very similar to what I've experienced the time off was really good.

嗯，但我認為很多工作都與我所經歷的非常相似，休息時間真的很好。

I had a good amount of holidays which I loved, it made us feel mentally stable throughout the job because when you're teaching kids, it's a hard job, but not, most companies don't understand sometimes how taxing it is on a teacher and their bodies and their mind and you know, you always always in any company run into people that just don't get it now that my health has declined so much.

我有一個很好的假期，我很喜歡，它使我們在整個工作中感到精神穩定，因為當你教孩子的時候，這是一個艱苦的工作，但不是，大多數公司有時不理解它對一個教師和他們的身體和思想的負擔，你知道，你總是總是在任何公司遇到的人，只是不明白現在我的健康已經下降了這麼多。

I'm getting older, I want to have my own family someday.

我越來越大了，我希望有一天能有自己的家庭。

I really want to focus on my brand.

我真的想專注於我的品牌。

So the reason why I'm leaving is because I want to do something different.

所以我離開的原因是我想做一些不同的事情。

Like I feel like I'm in that part of my life where I'm like, I've done that and I loved it now, I want to move on to something different.

就像我覺得我正處於我生命中的那一部分，我想，我已經做過了，而且我現在喜歡它，我想繼續做一些不同的事情。

I can't physically do it anymore right now because of my health.

由於我的健康狀況，我現在不能再身體力行了。

So this is a good decision to make it all is preference when it comes to teaching in Japan.

是以，這是一個很好的決定，在日本教書的時候，這一切就是偏好。

Some people come here, they expected to be a certain way and then they don't like it or they complain like crazy, it's a hard job if you're going into teaching kids, it's a hard job and when you're teaching adults it's a little bit easier.

有些人來到這裡，他們期望以某種方式，然後他們不喜歡它，或者他們瘋狂地抱怨，如果你要進入教孩子，這是一個艱難的工作，當你教成年人時，這是個有點容易的工作。

But I don't want to teach adults because a lot of as a woman, I'm going to be real about this.

但我不想教成年人，因為很多作為一個女人，我要真實地告訴大家。

Like I don't feel safe teaching adults, especially adult men.

就像我對教成年人，特別是成年男子感到不安全。

My friends have gone through so many traumatizing problems with that because a lot of men just think it's a date and that's the issue with teaching adults for me, I'd rather just teach women and kids, that's my preference and that's what I feel comfortable doing.

我的朋友在這方面經歷了很多創傷性的問題，因為很多男人只是認為這是一個約會，這就是我教成人的問題，我寧願只教女人和孩子，這是我的偏好，這是我覺得舒服的事情。

I feel like kids are just more fun and kids are funny and they make you laugh and they make you feel loved and they're just so innocent and I, I just wanted to keep at it, but it is very exhausting and mentally and physically exhausting and I just need to stop for a while.

我覺得孩子們只是更有趣，孩子們很有趣，他們讓你笑，讓你感到被愛，他們只是如此無辜，我，我只是想繼續做下去，但這是非常累的，精神上和身體上都很累，我只是需要停止一段時間。

So is it worth it for me?

那麼，這對我來說值得嗎？

Yes, teaching in Japan was worth it and I learned a lot and I experienced a lot, but it's not pushing me forward in any way.

是的，在日本教書是值得的，我學到了很多，也經歷了很多，但它沒有在任何方面推動我前進。

I'm kind of like someone that wants to progress into something.

我有點像想進步的人。

So when you come to Japan and you teach, you have to come into that mindset like is this what I'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life or is this something that I want to, you know, do for a while and then change to something else?

是以，當你來到日本教書時，你必須要有這樣的心態，比如這是我餘生要做的事情，還是我想做的事情，你知道的，做一段時間，然後改做別的事情？

You have to kind of think that there's no way you're going to know for sure, but at least kind of prep your mind and prep your goals before you move to Japan and you teach and have no expectations.

你必須想一想，你沒有辦法確定，但至少在你去日本教書和沒有期望之前，先準備好你的思想和目標。

The whole experience in teaching is completely different and there's a lot of things that are wrong in the education world and there's a lot of things that are right in the education world in Japan, I'll talk about that in another video, but public schools are very different compared to just like a kiowa, which is basically schools specifically for english, wherever you are, you're going to have a very different experience.

整個教學經驗是完全不同的，在教育界有很多錯誤的東西，在日本的教育界也有很多正確的東西，我會在另一個視頻中談到這一點，但公立學校與像kiowa這樣的學校相比是非常不同的，後者基本上是專門針對英語的學校，無論你在哪裡，你都會有一個非常不同的經驗。

I would go into it with an open mind, Don't complain about everything, do your job and you know, just take note of what's going on in Japan and the education world, this is how they do things and I won't regret any of it.

我會以開放的心態去做，不要抱怨一切，做好你的工作，你知道，只要注意到日本和教育界發生的事情，這就是他們做事的方式，我不會後悔。

I loved working at public schools.

我喜歡在公立學校工作。

I think there's a lot of things that need to be changed and updated, but I loved working in the public schools because you've got to experience what the kids do on a daily basis.

我認為有很多事情需要改變和更新，但我喜歡在公立學校工作，因為你必須體驗孩子們每天做的事情。

You got to eat with them, you got to chat with them.

你得和他們一起吃飯，你得和他們哈拉。

There was a lot that I loved doing in a public school compared to a english language school.

與英語學校相比，在公立學校有很多我喜歡做的事情。

It's not as structured in public schools, it's a little bit more free.

公立學校的結構不一樣，它更自由一點。

I think if you're a L.

我認為如果你是一個L。

T, which is an assistant language teacher, you're doing less, which can be pretty boring, but it's fun to observe what it's like to be a student and seeing those kids do what they do.

T，也就是助理語言教師，你做的事情比較少，可能會很枯燥，但是觀察學生的情況，看到那些孩子做的事情，很有意思。

It's just very inspiring and they work very hard and you have to go into it with a positive mindset and just not complain because this is what you wanted, he wanted to be in Japan and you're teaching.

這只是非常鼓舞人心，他們工作非常努力，你必須以積極的心態去做，不要抱怨，因為這是你想要的，他想在日本，你在教書。

So this is your job, you have to just go into it without being negative because then you're going to have a miserable, miserable time and that's all I'm going to say.

是以，這是你的工作，你必須只是進入它而不消極，因為那樣你就會有一個悲慘的、悲慘的時間，這就是我要說的全部。

There's a lot that's going on.

有很多事情正在發生。

I still have to change my Visa.

我仍然要改變我的簽證。

I'm doing taxes right now.

我現在正在辦稅。

I'm working like three jobs.

我好像在做三份工作。

It's very, very hard.

這是非常、非常困難的。

But I'm excited about it because I know that in the end it's all gonna be worth it by the end of March.

但我很興奮，因為我知道，到三月底，這一切都會變得值得。

I'll be in a comfortable place and I'll be healing more.

我會在一個舒適的地方，我將會有更多的療效。

There will be more content coming soon and I hope that you guys will understand that I'm only going to be posting a video a week.

很快會有更多的內容，我希望你們能理解，我每週只發一個視頻。

I don't know what day, it's not a very consistent thing, but I will be posting a video once a week until I'm into the swing of my new job.

我不知道哪一天，這不是一件很穩定的事情，但我將每週發佈一次視頻，直到我進入新工作的狀態。

So I appreciate everything that you guys do for me and I appreciate all of you guys that watch and are rooting for me and everything because this, these past couple years have been very difficult for me and I'm so determined to get better and heal and I'm so determined to change my job and go for what I want in my life because I'm still young 29 I'm ready for this and I know that I can do it.