Um, but I'm just gonna start it because that's how old videos start.

嗯，但我只是要開始，因為老視頻就是這樣開始的。

Just start, videos are quite sporadic.

剛開始，視頻是很零散的。

Is that the right way sporadic on my channel that really post, that often takes a while for me to post and my schedule these days, like I do, my work would take your creative, I do twitch occasion, do model and acting jobs and I do youtube, you know, but I haven't done youtube for a while.

那是正確的方式嗎？在我的頻道上零星地發佈，那往往需要一段時間來發布，我的日程表這些天，像我做的，我的工作會把你的創意，我做twitch的場合，做模特和表演工作，我做youtube，你知道，但我已經有一段時間沒有做youtube。

I do youtube on and off and it's not really supposed to be that way.

我斷斷續續地做youtube，它其實不應該是這樣的。

I just had a way a little bit of a breakdown, not a breakdown, just a big cry.

我只是有一種方式有點崩潰，不是崩潰，只是大哭一場。

You know, it's a big old cry because every time I think about making a video, I'm not like sad about it, but I'm like, okay, I've got an idea that'll be good.

你知道，這是一個大的老哭，因為每次我想到要做一個視頻，我不像是在傷心，但我想，好吧，我有一個想法，會很好。

And then I could do this and I could do that and then it comes to the day that I'm like, okay, maybe I can film it today.

然後我可以做這個，也可以做那個，然後到了這一天，我想，好吧，也許我今天可以拍。

And I'm like, oh, that actually, I don't think that idea works anymore.

我想，哦，那實際上，我不認為這個想法可行了。

Actually, I don't think it's going to work out.

實際上，我認為這不會有什麼效果。

Actually, the idea is kind of stupid actually, I don't think I want to do that all the way.

事實上，這個想法其實有點愚蠢，我不認為我想一直這樣做。

I used to make videos was when I, when I get the inspiration, I'll make a video of my videos, my videos always like inspired.

我以前做視頻是當我，當我得到靈感的時候，我會做一個我的視頻，我的視頻總是像受到啟發。

But with that technique, what happens when the inspiration stops, that's kind of where we are.

但有了這種技術，當靈感停止時，會發生什麼，這就是我們的情況。

And so the breakdown I was having before is I've decided to just put it in my schedule.

是以，我之前的故障是我決定把它放在我的時間表裡。

Like this day, I've got to make a video, whatever video.

就像這一天，我得做一個視頻，無論什麼視頻。

And today was one of those days, I didn't really know what I was gonna do.

而今天就是這樣的一天，我真的不知道我將會做什麼。

I had maybe like five ideas and then each idea, I was like, shut it down, it's not gonna work, there's no way that's going to make a good video.

我大概有五個想法，然後每個想法，我都想，關閉它，它不會工作，這不可能成為一個好的視頻。

And so I had an idea for today's video.

是以，我對今天的視頻有一個想法。

I woke up and it's like, I felt like I'd already failed, which is kind of a terrible feeling and so trying to get ready to do the video, it just got slower and slower.

我醒來的時候，我覺得我已經失敗了，這是一種可怕的感覺，所以試圖準備做視頻，它只是變得越來越慢。

Every single thing that I did felt like there was another rock in my head and like, I was just trying to get to making the video and it I was getting ready for hours and I just eventually slowed down and just stopped.

我所做的每一件事都感覺到我腦子裡有另一塊石頭，就像，我只是想去製作視頻，我準備了幾個小時，最後我只是放慢了速度，只是停止了。

And that had a big old cry because I was like, I don't know what I'm doing and my my brain is so negative that no matter what I do, even if it's a good idea, my brain will be like, that'll never work.

這讓我大哭一場，因為我當時想，我不知道我在做什麼，我的大腦是如此消極，無論我做什麼，即使是一個好主意，我的大腦也會說，這永遠不會成功。

Don't even don't even try.

甚至不要不要嘗試。

I was like, yes, I am seeing a therapist and I'm actually seeing her next week, which will be good.

我當時想，是的，我正在看一個治療師，實際上我下週要見她，這將是好事。

We have talked about this stuff a little bit, but um I think it is something that I need to figure out a way to control it whether that is with a strict schedule that says I'm going to make this video this day, even if I think it's a bad idea, I just need to do it.

我們已經談了一點這個東西，但嗯，我認為這是一個我需要找出一種方法來控制它，無論是用一個嚴格的時間表，說我要在這一天做這個視頻，即使我認為這是一個壞主意，我只是需要做它。

I don't know what exactly is going to fix it.

我不知道究竟什麼能解決這個問題。

Things have actually been really, really nice lately other than Youtube.

除了Youtube之外，最近的事情其實真的非常非常好。

I'm still on instagram, twitter, I do twitch multiple times a week.

我仍然在instagram、twitter上，我每週做多次twitch。

I am, what else I do.

我是，我還做什麼。

Yeah.

是的。

Actually modeling some jobs have come up, I've gone and done those and filming more frequently with Tokyo Creative.

實際上建模的一些工作已經出現了，我已經去做了那些工作，並與東京創意公司更頻繁地拍攝。

So I've been busy, it feels busy and yet my channel still stays the same with the same video however many weeks ago.

所以我一直很忙，感覺很忙，然而我的頻道仍然保持著相同的視頻，無論多少個星期前。

And it's sad because like I want to make videos once I've made a video and I watch it back for the millionth time.

這很可悲，因為像我想做視頻，一旦我做了一個視頻，我就回看一百萬次。

I'm usually quite proud of it.

我通常很自豪。

I'm usually like, okay, let's do this.

我通常會說，好吧，我們來做這個。

I'm happy with how it turned out, even if I'm a little bit nervous and I just uploaded, it's good and I just do it.

我對結果很滿意，即使我有點緊張，我只是上傳，這很好，我只是做。

But the longer I leave things, the longer that the, the time takes on, The more I'm like, Oh, it has to be a better video now to make up with the time that I haven't posted and I have to have to put more effort into it.

但我把事情擱置得越久，時間越長，我就越想，哦，現在必須是一個更好的視頻，以彌補我沒有發佈的時間，我必須要投入更多的精力。

And then recently I made a video, I made a video, it was like five minutes long And I liked it, but it wasn't special in any kind of way and I was like, I can't upload that people have waited, waiting 2-3 weeks or however long.

然後最近我做了一個視頻，我做了一個視頻，好像是5分鐘長，我喜歡它，但它沒有任何特別之處，我想，我不能上傳人們已經等待，等待2-3周或多少時間。

I can't give them this crappy video.

我不能給他們這種蹩腳的視頻。

That, that's not good enough.

這，這還不夠好。

So that's kind of where my brains at, it's a little bit frantic when it comes to youtube.

是以，這就是我的大腦所在，當涉及到youtube時，它有點瘋狂。

All the aspects of my life are pretty calm.

我生活的所有方面都相當平靜。

I'm having a pretty good times.

我有一個相當好的時代。

I've been going on adventures.

我一直在進行冒險。

Actually I have, yeah, I've been going on adventures.

實際上我有，是的，我一直在進行冒險。

Here's some of the adventures I've been on here.

下面是我在這裡的一些冒險經歷。

Some of the scrap videos that I've done.

我所做的一些廢品視頻。

So Sam's here and also the wonderful taylor B wow, a video of you with, Oh, I think my point and I, yeah, thanks.

是以，山姆在這裡，還有精彩的泰勒-B哇，你的視頻與，哦，我想我的觀點和我，是的，謝謝。

Mm And maybe with the album, Oh, this area is like working on, like they're all like, the thing is, I was so scared to say this because I'm probably gonna fail.

嗯，也許與專輯，哦，這個領域就像工作，像他們都喜歡，事情是，我很害怕說這個，因為我可能會失敗。

But I want to post just once a week.

但我想每週只發一次。

Like a normal person, like someone who is a Youtuber at least once a week, you know, that's my goal.

像一個正常人，像一個每週至少做一次Youtuber的人，你知道，這是我的目標。

And so it's in my schedule now.

是以，它現在就在我的日程安排中。

I have to film then I have to edit then.

我必須拍攝，然後我必須編輯，然後。

So it's not like, I don't want to create videos.

所以這並不是說，我不想創建視頻。

It's that I have like this, this weird block right now that I'm like scared to create videos.

就是我現在有這樣一個，這個奇怪的障礙，我就像害怕創造視頻。

It's very hard to explain.

這是很難解釋的。

I imagine what's going to happen.

我想象會發生什麼。

And I imagine that people will watch this and be like, you are so privileged, shut up.

我想象人們看了這個後會說，你太有特權了，閉嘴吧。

You're living in Japan, you have a great job.

你住在日本，你有一份很好的工作。

You have literally no problems.

你簡直沒有任何問題。

Shut up.

閉嘴吧。

And I'm like, I actually agree with you and that's why I'm a little bit worried about posting this because it's like I'm complaining and whining about a very first world problem for someone who is having a very wonderful life and most the time I am happy.

我想，我實際上同意你的觀點，這就是為什麼我對發佈這個帖子有點擔心，因為這就像我在抱怨和抱怨一個非常第一世界的問題，而這個人的生活非常精彩，大多數時候我都很開心。

But I also have to be careful to not belittle a problem like this because and it just wanted to be, I just want to be honest with you guys about where I'm at suddenly is going to happen today.

但我也必須小心，不要輕視這樣的問題，因為和它只是想，我只是想對你們誠實，我在哪裡突然要發生今天。

It's going to happen with ERIC ERic took care of it here please.

這將會發生在ERIC身上 ERIC在這裡照顧了它，請。

So what are you doing?

那麼你在做什麼呢？

Sad girl, I'm getting better.

悲傷的女孩，我正在變得更好。

I'm talking out all my worries in my misery to the camera.

我在對著鏡頭說出我所有的憂慮，在我的苦悶中。

Okay.

好的。

Oh no, I don't know what is it?

哦，不，我不知道這是什麼？

It's coming on again.

它又開始了。

No, stop brain.

不，不要動腦筋。

Uhh Oh, I just wanted to speak because tomorrow I'm supposed to be flying to irrational, which might be kept on, but tomorrow is supposed to be flying to Hiroshima and so I want to spend the day with ERic and do any dumb thing that we want.

呃......哦，我只是想說，因為明天我應該飛往非理性，這可能會被保留下來，但明天應該是飛往廣島，所以我想和ERIC一起度過這一天，做任何我們想做的蠢事。

Can we go to an arcade?

我們可以去電玩城嗎？

Yes.

是的。

One thing that I want to do.

我想做的一件事。

Let's go to it.

我們去看看吧。

Could look it up and go to get fries.

可以查一查，然後去買油條。

Yeah, so that's deep.

是的，所以這很深。

Yeah, so that's the first thing that I want to do and then we can go to an arcade.

是的，所以這是我想做的第一件事，然後我們可以去街機。

It's going to be the third time we've gone to our first date place.

這將是我們第三次去我們第一次約會的地方。

Yeah.

是的。

You guys have seen eric in past videos.

你們在過去的視頻中見過Eric。

We have really done like a full thing but this is eric my boyfriend, he's very supportive and very wonderful and it was his birthday recently.

我們真的做了像一個完整的事情，但這是Eric我的男朋友，他非常支持，非常棒，最近是他的生日。

Happy birthday like a couple of days ago.

像幾天前一樣，生日快樂。

Yeah.

是的。

Today saturday you're going to third wheel on a date with us.

今天星期六，你要和我們一起去第三輪約會。

We're just gonna go have a good time next month.

我們只是要在下個月去好好玩玩。

I have eight days scheduled at work.

我有八天的工作安排。

No, it's okay.

不，沒關係的。

It's okay, calm down, calm down.

沒關係，冷靜下來，冷靜下來。

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

I'm going to have $0.00.

我將會有0.00美元。

It'll be money sucks.

這將是錢的問題。

But money is the one thing that I stress it.

但錢是我強調的一件事。

Yeah, because my school is like, hey, by the way, you're gonna pay us?

是的，因為我的學校就像，嘿，順便說一句，你要給我們錢？

I'm like how your school Baylor?

我想你的學校貝勒怎麼樣？

I don't know.

我不知道。

You know, Let's see.

你知道，讓我們來看看。

Let's find out.

讓我們拭目以待。

Let's find out.

讓我們拭目以待。

Yeah.

是的。

Anyway, so that's the deal.

總之，這就是交易。

We're gonna go have a good day.

我們要去過個好日子了。

I'm gonna feel a lot better once we get out of the house and I'm so hungry.

一旦我們走出家門，我就會感覺好很多，我太餓了。

Okay, let's get out of here.

好吧，讓我們離開這裡。

Let's go on a date together.

我們一起去約會吧。

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

How was the refreshed shot?

刷新後的拍攝效果如何？

Does it taste just like Pepsi or is it a little sugary?

它的味道和百事可樂一樣嗎，還是有點含糖？

I spilt it all down my shirt way to the roof garden.

我把它全部灑在我的襯衫上，一直到屋頂花園。

Here's what I'm wearing today, shorts.

這是我今天穿的，短褲。

My Nikes and a shirt.

我的耐克鞋和一件襯衫。

Very nice.

非常好。

What?

什麼？

What?

什麼？

It's a sudden raining.

突然下起了雨。

Are you kidding me?

你在跟我開玩笑嗎？

Oh golly so much rain, but it's so bright.

哦，天哪，這麼多雨，但它是如此明亮。

What?

什麼？

Yeah, so we have our dutch fries.

是的，所以我們有我們的荷蘭油炸食品。

We have mayonnaise and ketchup.

我們有蛋黃醬和番茄醬。

This kind of fries are kind of difficult to find in Japan.

這種薯條在日本有點難找。

They're very thick cut, which is quite rare.

它們是非常厚的切面，這相當罕見。

They're super delicious.

它們超級美味。

They're a bit expensive, but they're worth it.

它們有點貴，但很值得。

The real Belgian fries fries.

真正的比利時薯條薯條。

Belgian fries.

比利時薯條。

Sorry, sorry, I like both on one friend.

對不起，對不起，我喜歡一個朋友身上的兩種東西。

I miss being cold.

我懷念寒冷的日子。

Yeah, I've been cold in a long time.

是的，我已經很久沒有冷過了。

Just being perfect temperature.

只是被完美的溫度。

Yeah, because I had a cry this morning.

是的，因為我今天早上哭過了。

Very tired because when I have a cry it's like, so it takes so much energy you got can love it.

非常累，因為當我有一個哭的時候，就像，所以它需要這麼多的能量，你有可以愛它。

Is.

是。

And the magazine, Yeah.

還有那本雜誌，是的。

We went shopping for autumn clothes yesterday.

我們昨天去買了秋裝。

I couldn't help it.

我忍不住了。

They were just so cute because the slouchy sweater I got like three of the same shot that I like.

他們只是太可愛了，因為寬鬆的毛衣我得到了像三個相同的鏡頭，我喜歡。

Yeah, so good.

是的，很好。

You guys will see it when it's cold so in like a month you'll be worrying them.

你們會在天冷的時候看到它，所以在大約一個月後，你們會擔心它們。

Yeah.

是的。

Do you think?

你認為呢？

Yeah.

是的。

Okay.

好的。

Stop, hate it.

停止，討厭它。

Hate it.

討厭它。

Stop stop doing that.

不要再這樣做了。

These poor people.

這些可憐的人。

It's just windy.

只是風大。

It's not windy.

沒有風。

There's no winds down.

沒有什麼風吹草動。

It's just keeping the table a lot of people I know are leaving or have left Japan.

這只是保持表我認識的很多人正在離開或已經離開日本。

It's crazy.

這很瘋狂。

Tis the season for maybe.

這是一個也許的季節。

Hi, one more cut.

嗨，再來一刀。

Okay.

好的。

Every time I touch Emma's neck even a little bit.

每次我觸摸艾瑪的脖子時，哪怕是一點點。

I make this sound good.

我讓這聽起來不錯。

No.

沒有。

Yeah, up here.

是的，在這上面。

They have a lot of beautiful plants.

他們有很多美麗的植物。

They're pretty expensive.

他們是相當昂貴的。

But they are amazing.

但他們是驚人的。

Look at that guy.

看看那個人。

It's really sharp.

它真的很鋒利。

Yeah, some of the plants are pretty dangerous.

是的，有些植物是相當危險的。

Hello?

喂？

Big by its price is so much variety.

大到它的價格，小到它的種類，都是那麼多。

Ready?

準備好了嗎？

No chilies.

沒有辣椒。

These are chilies.

這些是辣椒。

Yeah.

是的。

Can we eat them?

我們可以吃它們嗎？

Yeah.

是的。

Doing how tiny This is so small.

做得多麼微小 這是很微小的。

There are just so, so tiny little guy.

有的只是如此，如此微小的小傢伙。

They're adorable.

他們很可愛。

Also on this side, there's a really cool area with lots of plants and like a pond and everything.

另外，在這一邊，有一個非常酷的區域，有很多植物，像一個池塘和所有的東西。

It's really, really beautiful.

它真的非常、非常漂亮。

We want some candies.

我們想要一些糖果。

Candies.

糖果。

We won, we won so much candy.

我們贏了，我們贏了這麼多糖果。

Open it.

打開它。

Yeah, so much they gave us a bag.

是的，這麼多，他們給了我們一個袋子。

Yeah.

是的。

You mentioned not bad.

你提到了不壞。

Was it enough?

這樣做夠嗎？

You punch the skin off his face?

你把他臉上的皮打掉了？

We're gonna play some Mario kart.

我們要玩一些馬里奧卡丁車。

So eric B Me, Are you happy about that?

那麼Eric B Me，你對此感到高興嗎？

Yeah, whatever.

是的，不管怎樣。

Let's go home.

我們回家吧。

I'm, I'm done.

我，我不幹了。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah, yeah, mm hmm.

是的，是的，mm hmm。

Mhm, mhm, mm.

呣，呣，呣。

Hey, so it's later on in the evening I got changed because I got really sweaty were out and I felt really disgusting.

嘿，所以這是在晚上的晚些時候，我換了衣服，因為我真的出汗了，我覺得非常噁心。

So I just put on a new shut, I'm gonna put on some rice vegetables.

所以我剛剛穿上了新的關，我要穿上一些米飯蔬菜。

Just get them started cooking that I can wash up and then I might go out and get some groceries.

只要讓他們開始做飯，我就可以洗漱了，然後我可能會出去買些雜貨。

It's been quite a while since I last did.

我已經有相當長一段時間沒有這樣做了。

Hello.

你好。

I got home and just all throughout the day my brain is like, this video isn't working.

我回到家，整個白天我的大腦都在想，這個視頻沒有用。

This is not working.

這是不可行的。

Give up.

放棄吧。

Give up.

放棄吧。

Give up.

放棄吧。

I lay in bed and watched, this is my coping method.

我躺在床上看，這是我的應對方法。

I watch terrible facebook videos for extended periods of time, just like shut my mind off.

我長時間觀看可怕的Facebook視頻，就像關閉我的思想。

It's a terrible way.

這是個可怕的方法。

It's not productive.

這是不可能的。

I don't learn anything.

我沒有學到任何東西。

Oh, this carrot is right in the middle.

哦，這個胡蘿蔔就在中間。

I really feel like I got to figure out how do I get my brain to work in the way that I wanted to work.

我真的覺得我得弄清楚如何讓我的大腦以我想要的方式工作。

I think that my brain is a little bit too busy all the time.

我想，我的大腦一直都有點太忙了。

I think it's trying to think of too many things at once.