Before I start this video, I just have to tell you guys about the amazing Norwegian vacation I took last week.

在開始影片的主題之前，我想先和各位聊聊我上個禮拜超讚的挪威之旅。

I stayed at this gorgeous resort called Halden Fengsel.

我住在一個叫做 Halden Fengsel 的豪華渡假村。

It was nestled away in this cute little forest of birch trees and blueberry bushes, with jogging trails and soccer fields, and even its own rock-climbing gym.

它就座落於一個有著白樺樹與藍莓樹叢的可愛森林旁邊，裡面有著慢跑跑道和足球場，甚至還有獨立的攀岩健身房。

My room was awesome—I had my own flat-screen TV, a mini-fridge, and this really luxurious bedding, but I tried not to waste too much time cooped up in there alone.

我的房間也超棒的－我有自己的平板電視、一個小冰箱，還有超級奢華的床鋪。但我盡量想讓自己不要只是一個人待在房間裡度過。

I spent most of my vacation taking wood-working classes, learning new cooking skills in their professional-­grade kitchen classroom, and enjoying the beautiful outdoors.

整個假期中我花了大半的時間在參加木工課程、在專業等級的廚藝教室中學習新的料理技巧，以及享受美麗的戶外風光。

But the best part is—and I'm really not joking, here—it was completely free.

但其中最棒的是－我這可沒有在開玩笑－就是它完全免費。

You see, I was a little jet-lagged when I landed, and my rental car drifted a little bit off the road and a little bit into the side of an orphanage,

事情是這樣的，我剛到挪威的時候因為時差所以有點神智不清，結果開著租來的車不小心打滑了一下，稍微撞到了一間孤兒院的牆壁。

but the police were so understanding that they actually gave me a free ride and paid for my whole stay at Halden Fengsel.

可是當地警察超有同理心的，他們竟然就這樣免費載我到 Halden Fengsel，還幫我付了全額住宿費。

Speaking of which, I never actually learned what Halden Fengsel translates to!

說到這個，我還不知道 Halden Fengsel 從挪威文翻譯過來是什麼麼欸！

Let me just type it into Google, and… it turns out I was in a Norwegian prison.

讓我到 Google 上查一查，我看看... 結果我根本在一間挪威的監獄裡。

In fact, Halden Fengsel is apparently where Norway puts some of its most dangerous criminals, because none of them have ever attempted to escape.

實際上，Halden Fengsel (哈爾登監獄) 顯然是挪威用來關押最危險罪犯的地方，因為從沒有罪犯曾試著逃獄過。

Well, the US has an inescapable prison where they put their most dangerous criminals, too—it's called the ADX Florence, and it works just a little differently.

而美國也有一個專門關押窮凶極惡罪犯，號稱無法逃脫的監獄。它叫做 ADX 佛羅倫斯，而它的運作方式和哈爾登監獄不太一樣。

There are thousands of jails and prisons across the United States, but ADX Florence is in a completely unique category: it's the only federal supermax prison in the entire country.

全美國總共有數千座監獄，但 ADX 佛羅倫斯有著專屬的獨特分類：它是整個國家中唯一一座聯邦級超高度安全級別監獄。

But that begs the question: what, exactly, is a federal supermax prison?

但這就讓人不禁要問：所謂的聯邦級超高度安全級別監獄到底是什麼？

Well, the US has two distinct prison systems: state and federal.

這個嘛，美國的監獄系統分為州級與聯邦級兩種。

The vast majority of the 1.5 million Americans currently in prison, which, by the way, is a totally normal number and is only like six times higher than it was in the 1980s,

在一千五百萬名目前身陷囹圄的美國人當中 (順帶一提，這是個超級普通的數字啦，只比 1980 年代多了大概六倍而已)，

have been sentenced to state prisons for committing state crimes—things like theft, assault, drunk driving, or doing drugs anywhere other than an Ivy League dorm room.

其中大多人都是因為州級犯罪而被關押，例如盜竊、傷害、酒駕，或是在除了常春藤名校宿舍以外的地方吸毒之類的。

The federal prison system is much smaller, and was originally created to deal only with three things: piracy, counterfeiting, and treason.

聯邦級監獄要比州級監獄還要小得多，而且本來只被用來關押三種罪犯：盜版、偽造與叛國罪犯。

It's since expanded a bit, and now encompasses things like terrorism, espionage, cybercrimes, political assassinations—in other words, serious crimes, the sort of crimes you need to plan out in advance,

但隨著年代的發展它的權責逐漸擴張，現在還囊括了犯下恐怖主義、間諜、網路犯罪、政治暗殺等罪刑－也就是更嚴重的犯罪，那種你會需要是前好好計畫才能施行的犯罪，

and don't just do because you had one too many Dagobah Slug Slingers at Star Wars Galaxy's Edge and beat a stormtrooper unconscious with a plastic lightsaber in front of a crowd of screaming children.

而不是因為你在迪士尼樂園的星際大戰區喝了太多杯達可巴蛞蝓特調，因此在一群尖叫著的小孩面前用塑膠光劍把一名帝國風暴兵打到失去意識的那種犯罪。

Now, a federal prison can belong to one of five security categories: minimum, low, medium, high, or administrative—otherwise known as supermax.

聯邦監獄總共又分為五種安全級別：最低、低、中等、高以及管理型－也被稱為超高度安全級別。

The ADX Florence is the only prison that belongs to that final category, and the US government uses it to house the country's highest-profile criminals:

ADX 佛羅羅斯是唯一一座屬於最後那個分類的監獄，而美國政府用它來關押整個國家中最備受關注的囚犯們：

people like Ted Kaczynski, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, El Chapo, the Hamburglar, and about 350 more terrorists, spies, and murderers.

像是泰德·卡辛斯基、焦哈爾·查納耶夫、矮子古茲曼、漢堡神偷，以及其他 350 名恐怖分子、間諜與殺人犯。

This was a job previously carried out by Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary, which was shut down in 1963 because it was the most expensive prison in the country,

這個職責本來由惡魔島聯邦監獄所負責，但該地在 1963 年時因為營運費用高居全國監獄第一，

and could still be escaped by a suspiciously well-groomed Clint Eastwood.

還有儘管如此卻仍能被明明被關髮型卻仍然燙得好好的克林·伊斯威特給越獄而被停用。

When the ADX Florence was built in 1994, it was designed to be really for-real inescapable this time.

當 ADX 佛羅倫斯建於 1994 年時，這次整個監獄真的是以完全無法逃脫為原則所設計的。

Now, if you're out there thinking, “Oh yeah? Well I'm an insufferable contrarian on the internet and I bet I could escape it,” let's walk through exactly how impossible that would be.

現在你可能會心想「喔是喔？我就愛在網路上唱反調，我敢打賭我絕對能越獄。」那我們就來看看到底有多不可能越獄吧。

Firstly, after being sentenced to life in the ADX for being an insufferable contrarian on the internet, you would be escorted to your cell by armed guards, wearing shackles on your hands, feet, and torso.

首先，在因為專門在網路上跟人家唱反調而被判無期徒刑並被關押到 ADX 佛羅倫斯之後，你的手上、腳上和身上都會被戴上鐐銬，然後由武裝獄警一路護衛到你的牢房。

So, basically, unless you could flex your abs hard enough to break steel, you're not escaping quite yet.

所以基本上除非你把肌肉練到足以徒手扯斷鋼鐵，不然你這時候估計是逃不掉的。

Now your cell—which you'll be kept in for 23 hours a day in nearly complete solitary confinement—is only 7 feet by 12 feet or 2 by 3.5 meters,

接著你之後一天中會有 23 小時得在完全單獨的狀況下待在裡面的牢房只有 7 乘 12 英尺大，也就是約為 2 乘 3.5 公尺，

and encased in reinforced, soundproof concrete, complete with matching concrete furniture that can't be disassembled or moved.

而且整間牢房由強化隔音水泥製造，連家具都是用同樣的水泥所製作，完全無法被拆解或是移動。

Your shower and your sink are flood-proof, your lights are controlled entirely remotely,

你的淋浴間與洗手台都有防淹水設計，房內的燈光完全由遠端控制，

and your one window is only 4 inches wide and angled towards the sky in such a way that you can't ever tell where in the prison you're being held.

而你唯一的一扇窗戶只有四英吋寬，並且被調整為只能看到天空，讓你沒辦法推測自己究竟被關押在監獄中的哪個部分。

So if you thought about planning an escape with the other prisoners, which, again, wouldn't even be possible since you're being held in a solitary soundproof room,

如果你打算和其他的囚犯一起越獄的話，首先這基本不可能達成，因為你被關押在一個單獨的隔音牢房中，

you wouldn't know where they were or where to go once you got out of your cell.

就算成功了，你甚至沒辦法在離開牢房後他們在哪，或者自己該往哪走。

You also shouldn't get too excited about that one hour a day you spend outside your cell, because you're spending it alone in a windowless concrete pit with a single chin-up bar,

你也不用對每天一小時在牢房外的放風時間趕到太興奮，因為你也只能待在設有引體向上用的欄杆，一個沒有窗戶的水泥坑裡度過，

also designed to prevent you from knowing where in the prison you're located.

同樣也是為了讓你無法得知自己究竟在監獄裡的哪個位置。

If you're really good, you might get to spend that hour in a communal recreation yard,

如果你表現得非常好，你在放風的那一小時或許能去公用娛樂場，

as long as your definition of communal includes “being locked in a cage sort of near other people locked in their own cages.”

如果你對公用的定義中包括「陪其他也被關在各自籠子的人，被關在自己的一個籠子裡」的話。

And that might not sound like a lot, but it's a lot more socialization than you can expect during other hours of the day,

這聽起來好像算不上什麼福利，但這可比你在一天當中的其他時間所能接觸到的社交活動還多彩不少，

since guards are instructed to have little to no interaction with the prisoners at all, and instead monitor you, 24 hours a day, from a central control room.

因為獄警們被告誡不能與囚犯們有任何的互動，相對的他們會一天 24 小時從中控室監控著你。

If you still think you're somehow built different and can punch through a concrete wall without anyone noticing,

如果你還是覺得自己骨骼驚奇，能夠在沒人注意到的情況下徒手打破水泥牆壁的話，

you should also know that the central control room can shut every door in the prison with a single button,

你該知道的是中控室只要按下一顆按鈕便能夠鎖上監獄裡的每一扇門、

the entire thing is surrounded by 12-foot-tall razor wire and more armed guards, and you're also in the middle of nowhere in Colorado.

整座監獄都被 12 英尺的帶刺鐵絲圍牆還有一堆武裝獄警圍繞，而監獄的位置在科羅拉多州一片荒蕪的空地上。

The closest semblance to civilization is probably the Half as Interesting offices in this undisclosed location,

附近最接近文明的地方大概是位置保密的「也就一半有趣」辦公室了，

but our sponsors said we're not allowed to shelter enemies of the state anymore, so you're really out of luck.

但我們的贊助商說我們不能再保護國家公敵了，所以這條路也行不通。

Speaking of which… if you're trying to form a grassroots movement to break you out of ADX Florence, or really actually do pretty much anything,

說到這個... 如果你正在組織一場把你從 ADX 佛羅倫斯救出的草根運動，或是正在準備任何種類的活動，

you need a website and you need an email address.

你肯定需要一個網站和電子郵件地址。

Of course, if you want a better shot of success, you need a professional website and email address, and Hover can help with both.

而理所當然的，如果你想要提升成功的機會，你需要的便是專業的網站與電子郵件地址，而 Hover 能幫你做到這點。

Whenever I come up with an idea for a new YouTube channel or podcast or prison escape scheme, the first thing I do is grab a corresponding domain on Hover.

每當我想創辦一個新的 YouTube 頻道或是 podcast，或是規劃越獄計畫的時候，我所做的第一件事就是趕快上 Hover 註冊一個相對應的網域名稱。

That's because once someone else has a domain, it's gone for good, but Hover's transparent and fair pricing means I know I'm always getting the best deal for a domain,

這是因為只要有其他人把網域註冊走了，就沒辦法再使用一樣的名稱了。但 Hover 透明且公道的定價讓我總是能用最棒的價格獲得網域，

and they're usually not expensive at all.

通常價格都不會太昂貴。

Plus, you can set up a custom email address at that domain in a minute.

而且你還能同時為該網域設定一個專屬的電子信箱地址。

It's what we use for our company email addresses, and it really goes a long way to have a custom email address rather than one ending in Gmail, Yahoo, or iCloud.

我們公司的電子郵件就是這麼做的，而比起使用結尾是 Gmail、Yahoo 或 iCloud 電子信箱，這種給人的觀感更好。

So, get your custom domain and email address before its gone for 10% off at Hover.com/HAI, and you'll be helping support the channel while you're at it.

所以現在就上 Hover.com/HAI 以九折價格購買自訂網域名稱與電子郵件地址吧。你還能在這麼做的同時支持本頻道。