a bit too large, eyes that are slightly too far apart, hair that is not as lustrous as

有點太大了，眼睛離得太遠了，頭髮不像以前那樣有光澤了。

it should be - we miss an overall point about our relationship to our appearance: how beautiful

它應該是 - 我們錯過了一個關於我們與我們的外表的關係的整體觀點：如何美麗的

we feel has nothing to do with the objective structure of our face or body; it isn't

我們的感覺與我們面部或身體的客觀結構無關；它不是

what we look like that counts. It's how we feel inside. Our self-assessments are in

我們看起來像什麼才是最重要的。重要的是我們的內心感受。我們的自我評估是在

the end solely based on our relative degrees of self-love and self-contempt.

最終完全基於我們相對的自愛和自卑的程度。

There are people of ideal proportions and exceptional beauty who cannot bear what they

有些人具有理想的比例和特殊的美貌，但他們不能忍受他們的

see in the mirror and others who can contemplate a less than svelte stomach or a no longer

在鏡子裡看到的，以及其他可以考慮不那麼苗條的肚子或不再是一個 "小胖子 "的人。

so supple kind of skin with indifference and defiant good humour. And at a tragic extreme,

如此柔軟的皮膚，帶著冷漠和挑釁的好心情。而在一個悲慘的極端。

there are heart-breakingly fine-looking people who starve themselves to ill-health and eventually

有一些令人心碎的漂亮的人，把自己餓得身體不好，最終

die out of a certainty, immune to every logical argument, of their own unsightliness.

死於對他們自己的不雅觀性的確信，不受任何邏輯論證的影響。

We are surrounded by industries that seek to help us to improve how we look: dieticians

我們周圍有很多行業都在尋求幫助我們改善自己的形象：營養師

who are on hand to reduce our waistlines, aerobic teachers who offer to tone us, beauticians

他們在現場為我們減少腰圍，有氧運動老師為我們調理身體，美容師為我們提供服務。

who will equip us with foundation and mascara. But however well meaning their efforts, they

他們會給我們配備粉底和睫毛膏。但無論他們的努力多麼有意義，他們

fail completely to grasp the sources of a healthy regard for one's own appearance.

完全沒有把握住對自己外表的健康重視的來源。

The issue is not whether we look extraordinary today, but whether or not we were once upon

問題不在於我們今天是否看起來不平凡，而在於我們是否曾經是

a time, when we were small and defenceless before the judgements of those who cared for

當我們在那些關心我們的人的審判面前渺小而無助的時候

us, sufficiently loved for our essence. This will decide whether our appearance can later

我們，對我們的本質有足夠的愛。這將決定我們的外表以後是否能

on be a subject of negligible concern to us or not. The truly blessed among us are not

對我們來說是否是一個可以忽略不計的問題。我們中真正有福的人並不是

those with perfect symmetry; they are those whose past affords them the luxury not to

他們是那些具有完美對稱性的人；他們是那些過去讓他們不奢望的人。

give too much of a damn whatever the mirror happens to say.

不管鏡子裡的人怎麼說，我都不屑一顧。

The way to help someone feel beautiful is not to compliment them on their looks, it

幫助別人感到美麗的方法不是讚美他們的長相，而是

is to take an interest in and delight in their psychological essence. We know that the more

是對他們的心理本質產生興趣和喜悅。我們知道，越是

comfortable we feel around someone, the less effort we will make about how we appear and

如果我們在某人身邊感到舒適，我們就會減少對自己的外表和行為的努力。

conversely, the more anxious we are about the judgement of others, the more our reflection

反之，我們越是擔心別人的評判，我們的反思就越多。

has the power to horrify us. The issue is never that of our appearance, it is about

有能力讓我們感到驚恐。問題絕不是我們的外表，而是關於

our sense of our vulnerability to humiliation.

我們對自己易受羞辱的感覺。

When we meet people who are perpetually sick with worry that they are not attractive enough,

當我們遇到那些因擔心自己不夠有吸引力而長期生病的人。

we should not rush in with physical compliments; this is only to foster and unwittingly reward

我們不應該急於用身體上的恭維；這隻會促進和不知不覺地獎勵

an aggravating criterion of judgement. We should learn to spot the wound in their early

判斷的一個加重標準。我們應該學會在他們的早期發現傷口

relationships that have made it so hard for them to trust that they could matter to others

使得他們很難相信自己對別人來說是重要的關係。

in their basic state and that therefore perpetually evokes in them an unflattering self-image.

在他們的基本狀態下，是以，在他們身上永遠喚起了一個不光彩的自我形象。

They are not 'ugly' per se, they were - when it mattered - left painfully unloved

他們本身並不 "醜陋"，而是在重要的時候，他們被痛苦地拋棄，沒有得到愛。

and ignored to an extent that they are liable never to have recognised or mourned adequately;

並被忽視，以至於他們很可能永遠不會認識到或充分地哀悼。

their arrival in the world did not delight a few people as it should have done, and they

他們的到來並沒有讓一些人如願以償地高興，而他們

therefore need compassion, sympathy and emotional validation far more than they will ever require

是以，他們需要的是同情、憐憫和情感確認，遠遠超過他們所需要的。

the tools of outward beautification.

外在美化的工具。

Feeling ugly stems from a deficit of love, never of beauty.

感到醜陋源於愛的缺失，而不是美。