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  • Oh, my gosh, did the entire Internet get wiped out due to a terrible cyberterrorist attack?

    我的天啊,整個網路是被可怕的網路駭客攻擊才癱瘓嗎?

  • No, it's still there?

    沒有?網路還是跑不動。

  • Well then, why the **** would you ask me if I wanna go Black Friday shopping?

    那你幹嘛問我想不想去黑色星期五的購物?

  • Black Friday? No thanks.

    黑色星期五?不了,謝謝。

  • If I'm gonna be up at four in the morning, it'll be on my own terms, which is usually if I didn't go to bed in the first place because I got carried away binging YouTube compilations of epic TikToks.

    如果要我在清晨4點起床,那只能是我自己決定。首先,那時候我通常還沒睡,因為我在大看特看YouTube上精選TikToks的合輯。

  • The worst thing about Black Friday is that it reminds me I only have a few weeks left to procrastinate buying Christmas gifts.

    黑色星期五最糟糕的是,提醒我只剩下幾週可以拖延去買聖誕節禮物。

  • You're seriously asking if I wanna go Black Friday shopping with you, girlfriend?

    女朋友,妳是認真的在問我要不要跟妳一起去黑色星期五購物嗎?

  • Either you don't know me at all, or this is some twisted attempt to break up with me.

    這不是妳不了解我,就是妳試圖以委婉的方式在跟我分手。

  • Anyway, if you end up going, can you let me know if you see any good deals on PlayStations?

    反正,如果妳還是要去,有看到PlayStations在特價的話,可以告訴我嗎?

  • Thanks, love you!

    謝啦,愛妳!

  • Doorbusters? The only time I bust the doors at a store is when I'm trying to get out before an acquaintance I spotted sees me and tries to say hi.

    開門大搶購?我只會在店裡看到一個熟人要跟我打招呼時才會奪門而出。

  • This day is such a scam.

    這一天根本是騙局。

  • You just wander around buying junk that you don't need, because, why not?

    你只是閒晃和買你不需要的垃圾,何必呢?

  • I'm at the mall and this stuff is on sale.

    我在購物中心,而且這個東西在特價。

  • It's basically Stockholm Syndrome, but with deeply discounted TVs and extra comfy blankets.

    這根本就是斯德哥爾摩症候群,只是有折價很多的電視跟舒服的毛毯。

  • Ah, I kinda really want a blanket now.

    我現在真的好想要一條毛毯。

  • Black Friday?

    黑色星期五?

  • More like Blackout Friday, 'cause that's how much I'd have to drink in order to feel like it was a good idea to go.

    比較像暫時失去理智星期五吧,因為我要喝很多才能夠覺得去購物是個好點子。

  • Quick tip for those of you brave enough to go shopping on Black Friday, hit up Starbucks beforehand and get yourself a hot beverage, but don't drink it.

    給那些有勇氣在黑色星期五購物的人一個提醒,先去星巴克買一杯熱飲,但不要喝。

  • Save it for self-defense.

    留著當自我保衛。

  • I wouldn't go Black Friday shopping if they were giving everything away for free.

    我才不要在黑色星期五購物,他們又不會免費送東西。

  • I wouldn't go if they paid me to shop.

    他們不付我錢的話我才不去。

  • In fact, if you ever see me at a store on Black Friday, call the cops, because I'm probably being forced to go by kidnappers who are holding my family for ransom, like the ransom is a TV on sale at Best Buy, I guess.

    如果你在黑色星期五看到我在店裡面,報警。因為我可能是被綁架犯強迫的,他們勒贖我的家人。我猜贖金是百思買特價的電視。

  • Occasionally, I do go out on Black Friday, but not to shop.

    我偶爾會在黑色星期五出門,但不會去買東西。

  • It's really just to people-watch, a.k.a., to judge other people and feel superior.

    就只是為了觀察別人,也就是透過批評別人來感到優越感。

  • There's something special about this day.

    那天會有特別的事。

  • It gets us in touch with our ancestry, namely, the cavemen whose social interactions were limited to grunting and screaming while fighting each other over limited resources.

    這讓我們聯想到祖先們。也就是那些穴居人只有在爭奪有限的資源時,透過咕嚕叫和尖叫的社交互動。

  • TJ Maxx has clothing 75% off!

    TJ Maxx的服飾品有打25折!

  • I have clothing 75% off every night while I mindlessly eat Ben & Jerry's in my underwear and watch bad Christmas movies on Netflix.

    我每晚都會脫掉75%的衣服。當我穿著內褲,無憂無慮地吃著Ben & Jerry's冰淇淋,觀看Netflix上難看的聖誕節電影。

  • The Thanksgiving turkey has barely been digested before the masses rush to accumulate even more possessions in a desperate attempt to fill the emptiness in their lives.

    在感恩節的火雞幾乎還沒被消化前,大眾就著急地購買更多東西,他們極度渴望這能夠填滿生活中的空虛。

  • Buy my merch at the link below; spend $50 and get 15% off.

    在底下的連結能夠購買我的產品。消費滿50美元有打85折。

Oh, my gosh, did the entire Internet get wiped out due to a terrible cyberterrorist attack?

我的天啊,整個網路是被可怕的網路駭客攻擊才癱瘓嗎?

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How introverts really feel about Black Friday(How introverts really feel about Black Friday)

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    たらこ 發佈於 2021 年 10 月 28 日
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