This week's artifact is "Frozen", which won an Academy Award for its chart-topping song "Let It Be" by the Beatles.

本週的工藝品是《冰雪奇緣》，藉由披頭四排行榜首的「隨他吧」贏得奧斯卡金像獎。

The film follows a princess who suffers from a rare, human condition called "unexplained mutant ice powers".

這部電影是在描述一位公主有著「無法解釋的突變冰雪能力」的人類疾病。

Elsa!

艾莎！

Her name is Elsa, but it might as well be Milkshake, because she gives her little sister, Anna, brain-freeze.

她叫艾莎，但有可能也是叫奶昔，因為她把她妹妹安娜的腦袋冰凍了。

Their parents take Anna to the emergency room to get her a lobotomy.

她們的父母帶安娜去急診室做腦白質切除手術。

Elsa worries that the lobotomy might be contagious⏤Don't touch me!⏤so she hides in her room for the rest of the decade.

艾莎擔心腦白質切除手術可能會傳染——不要碰我！——所以她躲在房間裡十幾年。

Satisfied that they have done a good job raising their children away from any kind of school or social interaction, the parents go on vacation and die.

由於父母對自己讓小孩遠離任何形式的學校或社交活動感到滿意，他們去度假後就過世了。

And after waiting around doing nothing for three years in a kingdom ruled by no one, Elsa becomes queen.

之後王國因為等了三年都沒有統治者，艾莎就變成女王了。

But her name might as well be Queen Milkshake, because she brings all the boys to the yard.

但她的名字有可能是奶昔女王，因為她把所有男孩都吸引住。

Anna meets a prince named Hans, and they decide to get married after two conversations, which is their right as heterosexuals.

安娜遇見了一個叫漢斯的王子，他們才聊兩句就決定要結婚，這是他們異性戀的權力。

Anna asks Elsa to save the date, but she refuses.

安娜要艾莎保留一天參加婚禮，但她拒絕。

- You can't marry a man you just met. - What?!

- 妳不能嫁給才剛認識的男人。- 什麼？！

As a preemptive strike against anyone calling her Milkshake again, Elsa runs away.

當一個先發攻擊的人說艾莎是奶昔，讓她跑掉了。

She builds herself a new castle with central A/C, casting the land in eternal winter.

她在永凍的冬天雪地上，自己蓋了一座有中央空調的城堡。

In any case, Anna meets another conventionally-attractive, age-appropriate guy named Kristoff, who agrees to risk his life taking her up the mountain in exchange for a carrot.

總之，安娜遇到另一個有著普通吸引力、適齡，叫克里斯托夫的男孩。他同意冒著生命危險帶她上山，來換取一根蘿蔔。

Along the way, they meet Olaf⏤Elsa's illegitimate son⏤who shows them the way to Elsa's castle.

他們在路上遇到雪寶——艾莎的私生子——他指示他們到艾莎城堡的路。

Anna asks Elsa to come back, which is basically Elsa's biggest pet peeve, so she zaps Anna again and has her new boyfriend kick them to the proverbial curb.

安娜要求艾莎回家，也就是艾莎最不喜歡做的事，所以她再次攻擊安娜，把安娜跟她的新男友踢出城堡的柵欄外。

Kristoff takes Anna back to the emergency room, where the on-call physician explains that Anna's heart has been frozen with a capital "F"...

克里斯托夫把安娜帶去急診室，那裡待命的醫生說安娜的心已經被一個「F」字冰凍。

- There is ice in your heart. - No!

- 妳心裡有冰塊。- 不！

... and can only be thawed by an act of true love.

只有真愛才能融化它。

Like when someone doesn't throw away this month's "Quarks Illustrated" before you're done reading it, Karen!

就像當某人不會在你讀完之前把這個月的「夸克圖解」丟掉一樣，Karen！

Kristoff drops Anna off back home so Hans can give her a little C12-H22-O11.

克里斯托夫把安娜載回家，這樣漢斯就能給她一點葡萄糖。

But Hans doesn't want to give her a little anything, because of cooties.

但漢斯不打算給她任何東西，因為她有蝨子。

Turns out, he's the bad guy and just wants the throne, so he locks up Elsa for treason and Anna for symmetry.

原來，他是壞人，他只是想要王位，所以他用叛國罪把艾莎和安娜關起來。

Olaf helps Anna escape, and tells her to go kiss Kristoff instead, since kissing is all she's good for, anyway.

雪寶幫助安娜逃跑，並告訴她應該去親克里斯托夫才對，因為親吻是她唯一在行的。

She figures, "What the hell," but then she sees Elsa is in trouble, so performs an act of true love on her instead, and not in a gross way, Karen!

她心想：「搞什麼鬼」但當她看到艾莎遇到麻煩，就對她表現出真正的愛來替代，而不是噁心的方式，Karen！

And just like Huey Lewis, Elsa realizes the power of love...

就像修·路易斯，艾莎明白了愛的力量...

♫That's the power of love. That's the power of love.♫ ... which makes her suddenly able to reverse the winter and prove once and for all that it's hip to be square.

♫那是愛的力量，愛情的力量♫ ⋯這讓她突然能夠改變冬天，徹底地證明冬天可以又時尚又保守。

"Frozen" is a musical about the dueling properties of two of Earth's most cherished elements⏤a song of ice and fire, if you will.

《冰雪奇緣》是一部關於地球上最珍貴的兩個元素的競爭——冰與火之歌，如果你懂的話。

Heck, I don't know why you wouldn't.

我不懂為什麼你不知道。

Anna is associated with fire, which indicates warmth and passion.

安娜跟火有關，暗指她有溫暖跟熱情。

She has fiery red hair and freckles, or sunspots, on her shoulders, which she should really get checked out, just to be safe.

她有火紅的頭法和雀斑，還有她肩膀上的太陽斑點。代表她真的應該去看醫生，以防萬一。

She uses fire as a weapon against the horse attack.

她用火當武器來對抗野狼的攻擊。

When Hans reveals to Anna that he only wants her for her nobility, he extinguishes a fire, thereby extinguishing the passion Anna had for him.

當漢斯跟安娜揭露他只想要她的貴族地位時，他熄滅了火，藉此熄滅安娜對他的戀情。

Elsa is associated with ice; she is cold and rational...

艾莎跟冰有關，她冷淡又理性⋯

- I don't dance. - Oh.

- 我不跳舞的。- 好吧。

... and thinks the answer to life is to inhibit her feelings.

並認為人生的目的是要壓抑她的情感。

Don't feel. Don't feel.

不要被影響，不要有情感。

And, on our planet, she wouldn't be wrong, since feelings are punishable by death.

在我們星球裡，她是對的，因為感情是死罪。

She isolates herself, trading in her traditional garb for a revealing, skin-tight, transparent dress, and all on a shoestring budget.

她孤立自己，從她傳統的長裙換成暴露、緊身和透明的洋裝，這都是預算不足的關係。

It suggests liberation, perhaps even sexual liberation.

這被稱為解放，也許是性別解放。

But, at what cost?

但代價是什麼？

It is only by embracing the love of her sister that Elsa can find real fulfillment and the happiness that comes with social solidarity, or from a good piece of chocolate.

只有擁抱她妹妹的愛，艾莎才能找到真實的滿足，和從社會團結或一塊好吃的巧克力帶來幸福感。

Chocolate!

巧克力！

The movie seems to suggest that independence is a mistake, which falls in line with Disney's mob mentality.

這部電影似乎是在說獨立自主是個錯誤，讓一群迪士尼的暴民們變得守規矩。

All people require connection, so a solitary person is considered incomplete and in need of fixing.

所有人都需要連結，所以單獨的人被認為是不完整且必須被改進。

Nobody wants to be alone.

沒有人想要自己一人。

As the medical staff says, "We need each other to fix us up and round us out."

就像醫生說的：「我們都需要別人來調整、凝聚我們。」

♫ We need each other to fix us up and round us out!♫

♫我們都需要別人來調整、凝聚我們！♫

Easy for them to say⏤they're already round.

它們說起來很容易——它們已經團結/很圓了。（此處為雙關，round 有圓形的意思，此處指的是他們的身材）

However, "Frozen" is progressive in that the hero's redemption arrives in the form of sisterly love, rather than that of a charming prince or a frog or whatever.

然而《冰雪奇緣》有進步了，因為比起過去那些帥氣的王子或青蛙之類的，拯救的英雄是以姐妹相愛的形式出現。

The adage of "love at first sight", as evidenced by the courtship of Prince Hans, is proven to be as trivial and misguided as Karen.

俗話說「一見鐘情」是漢斯王子求愛的表示，像是跟 Karen 一樣被證明是膚淺且錯誤的。

And, even with a promising suitor such as Kristoff, there is no definitive wedding. They take it slow.

就算有像克里斯托夫這種承諾求婚者，也不會有確定的婚禮。他們會慢慢來。

Mmm, so slow.

一點都不慢。

In addition to conservative messages, another recurring motif is the door, something humans used when they were too tired to phase through the wall.

除了保守的訊息外，另一個出現的主題是門。人類在太累時無法穿過的牆的東西。

The film begins with the two princesses stuck in a kingdom with closed gates.

電影一開始，兩位公主被大門困在王國內。

And, of course, there's the door separating the sisters throughout their weirdly uneventful childhood.

當然，那些門分開了她們姐妹倆奇怪又平靜的童年。

Once she becomes a homeowner, Elsa brags about how she'll handle solicitors.

當艾莎成為一家之主時，她吹噓說她如何處理晉見者。

♫Turn away and slam the door!♫

♫轉身把門關起來！♫

Anna later solicits her to do the opposite.

安娜之後請求她別那樣做。

Please don't slam the door.

拜託別關上門。

One of the final lines of the film is, "I like the open gates. We're never closing them again."

電影結尾的台詞之中，「我喜歡打開大門，我們永遠不會再關上了。」

I like the open gates.

我喜歡打開大門。

We are never closing them again.

我們永遠不會再關上了。

The subtext is clear: Elsa won't shut her sister out anymore, and the kingdom will be forever susceptible to attack.

潛台詞很明顯：艾莎不會再不理她妹妹，王國也永遠有可能會被攻擊。

For Earthling Cinema, I'm Garyx Wormuloid.

地球人的電影院的觀眾們，我是 Garyx Wormuloid。

If you're feeling chilly, grab a cup of hot cocoa and curl up in front of my breakdown of "Toy Story 3".

如果你覺得有點冷，拿一杯熱可可和蜷坐著看我的《玩具總動員3》分析。

Till next time, stay warm.

下次見，注意保暖。

"Reach for the sky!"

「飛向宇宙！」