I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.”

我堅持認為，這是無法愛的痛苦"。

Hell is usually imagined as a world after this one, where someone is punished and made

地獄通常被想象成在這個世界之後的一個世界，在那裡有人受到懲罰並被製成

to suffer, but that vision of hell never really spoke to me.

來受苦，但那個地獄的景象從未真正對我說過。

What Dostoevsky says is much more interesting and relevant to me, and when understood, I

陀思妥耶夫斯基說的東西對我來說更有趣、更有意義，當理解了之後，我

think one learns to see hell and heaven as real entities inside of ourselves, not just

認為人們學會了把地獄和天堂看作是我們內心的真實實體，而不僅僅是

some imagined world.

一些想象中的世界。

As usual, I'm gonna explore this idea through a dialogue.

像往常一樣，我將通過對話來探討這個想法。

---

---

After years of reading and believing in the bible, a young student (S) had a sudden crisis

經過多年的閱讀和信仰聖經，一個年輕的學生（S）突然出現了危機

of faith.

的信仰。

He went to the house at the end of his neighbourhood where it was rumoured that a retired priest

他去了他所在街區盡頭的房子，據說那裡有一個退休的牧師。

lived, one who had walked away from the church.

活著的人，一個已經離開教會的人。

The retired priest (P) allowed the student into his home, and after a bit of small talk,

這位退休的牧師（P）允許學生進入他的家，並在一番閒聊之後。

the following conversation ensued.

隨後進行了以下對話。

S: Do you believe in any of this?

S:你相信這些嗎？

Do you believe there's really a heaven or a hell after we die?

你相信我們死後真的有天堂或地獄嗎？

P: Does it really matter?

P：這真的很重要嗎？

If I say yes, so what?

如果我說是，那又怎樣？

If I say no, so what?

如果我說不，那又怎樣？

We'll never have any proof either way.

我們永遠不會有任何證據，無論如何。

But there's one thing I am certain of: hell and heaven exist inside of us, right now.

但有一件事我是肯定的：地獄和天堂都存在於我們體內，就在此時。

S: What do you mean?

S:你是什麼意思？

P: Surely you know how it feels to suffer.

P: 你當然知道受苦的感覺。

Well that's what hell is, isn't it?

嗯，這就是地獄，不是嗎？

The place where we suffer.

我們受苦的地方。

The place where we are full of conflict.

我們充滿衝突的地方。

And well, heaven must be that place where we are free of suffering and conflict.

而且，天堂一定是那個我們沒有痛苦和衝突的地方。

S: I can agree with that.

S：我可以同意這一點。

But how do I free myself of conflict?

但我怎樣才能使自己擺脫衝突？

P: Well, what is the source of conflict?

P：那麼，衝突的來源是什麼？

Isn't it frustrated desire?

這不就是受挫的慾望嗎？

Isn't it wanting something but not having it?

這不就是想要的東西卻沒有得到嗎？

Think about it.

想一想吧。

Examine your own life.

審視你自己的生活。

Is this the source of all your conflict?

這就是你所有衝突的根源嗎？

S: Hmm… yeah that seems right.

S：嗯......是的，這似乎是正確的。

But as long as I'm living, won't I always want things I don't have?

但只要我還活著，我不就一直想要我沒有的東西嗎？

And as long as I want things I don't have, won't I suffer?

而只要我想要我沒有的東西，我不就會受苦嗎？

So are you saying my entire life will be suffering?

那麼你是說我的整個生命都將是痛苦的？

P: If you spend your life wanting things you don't have, then yes, your whole life will

P: 如果你一生都在追求你所沒有的東西，那麼是的，你的一生都會

be suffering.

是痛苦的。

But let me show you something: between wanting and having something there is a gap.

但讓我告訴你一些東西：在想要的和擁有的東西之間，有一個差距。

This gap is conflict.

這種差距就是衝突。

The bigger the gap between wanting and having something, the bigger the conflict.

想要的東西和擁有的東西之間的差距越大，衝突就越大。

The biggest gap, which is wanting something but never having it, is what we can call hell.

最大的差距，就是想要某樣東西卻從未擁有它，這就是我們可以稱之為地獄的東西。

Read any story or myth about hell, whether it's Tantalus, or Sisyphus, or Satan, and

閱讀任何關於地獄的故事或神話，無論是坦塔羅斯，還是西西弗斯，或者撒旦，以及

you'll hear the same story: someone wants something but can never have it.

你會聽到同樣的故事：有人想要某樣東西，但永遠無法得到它。

Now the smallest gap between wanting and having something, which is to never want because

現在，想要的東西和擁有的東西之間的最小差距，就是永遠不想要，因為

you always have, is what we can call heaven.

你一直擁有的，是我們可以稱之為天堂的東西。

Do you understand all of this?

你明白這一切嗎？

Do you agree with this?

你同意這一點嗎？

S: I think I get what you're saying.

S：我想我明白你的意思。

You're saying the gap between wanting and having something produces conflict.

你是說想要什麼和擁有什麼之間的差距會產生衝突。

So if I can shrink the gap between wanting and having something, I shrink the conflict

是以，如果我能夠縮小想要的東西和擁有的東西之間的差距，我就縮小了衝突

in my life.

在我的生活中。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

P: That's right.

P：是這樣的。

S: So how do I shrink the gap?

S：那麼我怎樣才能縮小差距呢？

P: You can't.

P：你不能。

I know why you're asking that question, but let's approach this from a different

我知道你為什麼要問這個問題，但讓我們從另一個角度來處理這個問題。

angle.

角度。

Imagine that you had a perfect understanding of the world, that you knew the relationship

想象一下，你對這個世界有一個完美的理解，你知道其中的關係

between all causes and effects.

所有的原因和結果之間。

There would be nothing you couldn't do instantly.

沒有什麼是你不能立即做到的。

You'd know the exact blade of grass to pluck to produce an earthquake on the other side

你會知道要拔掉哪根草才能在另一邊產生地震。

of the world.

世界的。

So if you had a perfect understanding of the world, there would be no difference between

是以，如果你對世界有一個完美的理解，就不會有以下的區別

what you want and what you have, because you could have anything you want in an instant.

你想要什麼和你擁有什麼，因為你可以在瞬間擁有你想要的任何東西。

So the gap between what you want and what you have is time, and it's also conflict.

所以你想要的和你擁有的之間的差距是時間，也是衝突。

So time is conflict.

是以，時間就是衝突。

This is very important to understand.

這一點的理解非常重要。

Do you understand this?

你明白這一點嗎？

S: So you're saying time is conflict.

S：所以你是說時間是衝突。

I sort of get it, but not quite.

我有點明白了，但不太明白。

P: Ok.

P：好的。

Let me go back a few steps.

讓我倒退幾步。

Listen carefully.

仔細聆聽。

If there is a gap between what you want and what you have, there's conflict in your

如果你想要的和你所擁有的之間有差距，你就有衝突。

life.

生活。

Do you agree?

你同意嗎？

S: Yes.

S：是的。

P: Okay.

P：好的。

Now if what you want takes time to get, that means there's a gap between what you want

現在，如果你想要的東西需要時間才能得到，這意味著你想要的東西之間存在著差距

and what you have.

和你所擁有的。

Do you follow?

你是否跟隨？

S: Ohh!

S:哦!

Now I get it.

現在我明白了。

So you're saying if I want something that takes time to get, there's a gap between

所以你是說，如果我想要的東西需要時間才能得到，那麼就會有一個差距。

what I want and what I have, and that gap is also conflict.

我想要的和我所擁有的，這種差距也是衝突。

So if I want something that takes time to get, I'll be in conflict.

是以，如果我想要的東西需要時間才能得到，我就會有衝突。

So time is conflict.

是以，時間就是衝突。

It makes sense now.

現在有意義了。

Sorry, go on.

對不起，請繼續。

P: No problem!

P: 沒問題!

So if you genuinely want something that takes no time to have, then you eliminate the gap.

是以，如果你真的想要不花時間就能擁有的東西，那麼你就消除了這種差距。

You eliminate conflict.

你消除了衝突。

Do you understand?

你明白嗎？

S: Yeah, but what takes no time to have?

S：是的，但什麼東西不需要時間就能擁有？

P: As long as you want something from the world, as long as you want to get something

P：只要你想從世界上得到什麼，只要你想得到什麼

from it, you introduce time into the equation, or in other words, you introduce conflict.

從中，你把時間引入了方程式，或者換句話說，你引入了衝突。

You can only get things from the world that you don't currently have.

你只能從世界上獲得你目前沒有的東西。

But if you want to give something to the world, time never enters the equation, because you

但是，如果你想給世界一些東西，時間永遠不會進入這個等式，因為你

can only give what you already have.

只能給你已經擁有的東西。

So if your only desire is to give something to the world, the gap between wanting and

是以，如果你的唯一願望是為世界提供一些東西，那麼在想要和不想要之間的差距就會很大。

having something collapses, and conflict disappears.

有的東西崩潰了，衝突也就消失了。

Now I have a little riddle for you.

現在我有一個小謎語給你。

What can you give that you never have to get?

你能給予什麼，你永遠不必得到什麼？

And even though you give it, you will never lose it.

即使你給了它，你也不會失去它。

S: I don't know.

S：我不知道。

What?

什麼？

P: Your complete attention.

P：你完全的注意力。

It is always yours to give, even though you never have to acquire it.

它總是屬於你的，儘管你永遠不需要獲得它。

And even when you give it, you never lose it.

而且即使你付出了，你也不會失去它。

To give something your complete attention is to love it.

對某一事物給予完全的關注就是愛它。

S: Love?

S:愛？

How is it love?

這怎麼是愛呢？

P: You've been taught to think that love is a feeling or an idea, so what I'm telling

P：你被教導認為愛是一種感覺或一種想法，所以我告訴你的是

you is confusing.

你很迷惑。

See, when you completely attend to something, you understand it.

你看，當你完全注意到某件事情時，你就會理解它。

And when you understand something, you know how to relate to it.

而當你理解某件事情時，你就知道如何與之發生聯繫。

For example, when you attend to the tree, you understand it.

例如，當你注意到這棵樹時，你就會理解它。

And when you understand it, you know how to relate to it.

而當你理解它時，你就知道如何與它發生關係。

You see that it needs water, so you water it.

你看到它需要水，所以你給它澆水。

And then what happens?

然後發生了什麼？

It bears you a fruit.

它為你結出了果實。

Do you understand what I'm saying, that love is the doorway to heaven?

你明白我的意思嗎，愛是通往天堂的大門？

That the man who gives is the one who gets, and the man who gets is the one who really

給予的人就是得到的人，而得到的人就是真正的人。

gives?

給？

Another riddle for you, perhaps.

也許是給你的另一個謎語。

S: Yeah, I think I'm finally starting to see what you're saying.

S：是的，我想我終於開始明白你的意思了。

---

---

In The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote, “What is hell?

費多爾-陀思妥耶夫斯基在《卡拉馬佐夫兄弟》中寫道："什麼是地獄？

I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love”, and I explored the meaning

我堅持認為，這是無法去愛的痛苦"，我探討了其中的含義

behind this idea through a dialogue.

通過對話，在這個想法的背後。

To love something is to give it your complete attention, and when you give something your

愛一個東西就是給它以完全的關注，而當你給一個東西以你的

complete attention you understand it, and when you understand it, you know how to relate

完全注意你就能理解它，而當你理解它時，你就知道如何與之聯繫。

to it, and when you know how to relate to it, there is no conflict, and when there is

當你知道如何與它發生關係時，就不會有衝突，而當有衝突時

no conflict, internally, that is heaven.

沒有衝突，在內部，這就是天堂。

And on the flip side, when you don't attend to something, you don't love it, and when

而反過來說，當你不關注某件事時，你就不愛它，而當

you don't love it, you don't understand it, and when you don't understand it, you

你不愛它，你就不理解它，而當你不理解它時，你就會

don't know how to relate to it, and when you don't know how to relate to it, there's

不知道如何與之發生關係，而當你不知道如何與之發生關係時，就會有

conflict, and when there's conflict, internally, that is hell.

衝突，而當有衝突的時候，在內部，那就是地獄。

So we can say that love is the doorway to heaven, and as Dostoevsky said, hell is the

所以我們可以說，愛是通往天堂的大門，而正如陀思妥耶夫斯基所說，地獄是

suffering that occurs when you're unable to love.

當你無法去愛的時候，就會出現痛苦。

As always, this is just my opinion and understanding of Dostoevsky's words, not advice.

像往常一樣，這只是我對陀思妥耶夫斯基的話的看法和理解，不是建議。

Feel free to use this information however you like, and if you have a different take

請隨意使用這些資訊，如果你有不同的看法

on Dostoevsky's words, I'd love to hear your perspective in the comments.

關於陀思妥耶夫斯基的話，我很想在評論中聽到你的觀點。

And if you're interested in reading The Brothers Karamazov, you can find a link to

如果你有興趣閱讀《卡拉馬佐夫兄弟》，你可以找到一個鏈接到

the book in

該書在

the description.

的描述。