lot of times, students want to learn conversational skills so they can start a conversation. But

很多時候，學生學會話技巧是為了開啟話題

when they do start these conversations, they tend to find that they're not included. Today's

但是，當他們開完話題之後，卻發現自己參與感很低

lesson is how to include yourself. So it's a conversational skill about how to take a

今天這堂課要教你，如何參與對話以及開話題的技巧

conversation or -- yeah. Take your part in a conversation. Are you ready? It's going

沒錯，參與對話，你準備好了嗎?

to be fun. I'm going to teach you two techniques that have two different uses, all right? So

你一定會喜歡的，我要教你兩個技巧分別用在不同的情況

you can see here, E is saying, "Wow, Bob. That's a good point, but --". And the second

看到這邊，E說「哇，Bob，你講的真好，但是...」下一秒

point he says is just, "Listen!" All right? Let's go to the board.

他這麼說「聽好!」，我們回到白板上

The "listen" one is called a "single-word imperative". All right? Why do we use it?

「聽好」被稱為命令單詞，那麼我們為何使用它?

Well, you're in a conversation with somebody, and they're saying things you don't necessarily

當你在跟某人對話時，他正在談論你不喜歡的話題

like, and they're talking, and they're talking fast and loud and being, you know, very demonstrative

他們越講越快，越講越大聲，越講越有優越感

and showing their hands and talking. And you want to get in there, but you don't know how

邊講邊做出手勢，此時你很想要參與，但你不知道

you can break into the conversation to say something or comment because maybe you don't

要說些什麼才能打斷對方，或許你也不太喜歡

like what they're saying. You do something like this: [snaps fingers] "Stop." What did

對方的話內容，這時候[彈指]大喊「停」

I do? I just said, "Stop." One-word imperative. An"imperative" is an order. And the funny

我做了什麼? 我說「停」這個命令單詞，「imperative」是命令的意思，有趣的是

thing about the human brain is we've been trained since we were children to listen.

小時候我們的大腦就被訓練聽從「聽好」這個詞

Remember when you were running, and your parents would go, "Stop!" Or they would go, "Listen!"

還記得你小時候在亂跑時，爸媽都會大聲斥喝「停下」或者「聽好」

Or they would say, "No!" They didn't say sentences; they said one word. So we've been trained

或是「不行」，他們不講句子，他們只講單詞，我們就是這樣被訓練的

for this. But it's very blunt, and we use for children or even dogs. Okay? I'm not saying

不過老實說，這不只用在小孩，還有狗，我不是說

people are dogs. They're children. But it's very effective because we're conditioned for

人就是狗，他們就是小孩啊，命令單詞的功能性很強，因為大腦已被長期訓練而習慣它們的存在

one-word imperatives. As you get older, we learn to be more polite. So you say, "Listen

當你越長大，會變得更有禮貌，所以你會說「請聽好」

to me, please. Can you stop saying that, please?" We add politeness. But in a situation where

「可以麻煩你別談那個嗎?」我們會加點禮貌詞，但有些情況

you need to stop someone immediately, the one-word imperative works because it gets

你必須立即打斷某人時，命令單詞非常有效，可以讓雙方

right to the point; it gets directly to the person. And what it does is -- look. It draws

回到對話重點，並直接傳達給方知道，它的功能是

attention to the intended action. "I don't want you to stop talking. I want the conversation

「停止沒營養的對話並將對話重心重新拉回來」「我並沒有希望你停止談話，只是我想要讓對話持續進行

to go, but I want you to stop." Got it? So when I say "stop", you will stop speaking

所以你必須暫時安靜一下」了解嗎? 當我說「停」，你會立馬停止

because you're going to be, in your brain, "Stop what? What am I doing?" And that gives

因為你的腦中會不斷浮現「停什麼停啊?我怎麼了?」藉此我才有機會

an opening for me to come into the conversation. Or, "No." People are like, "No? No what?"

進入對話當中，或是「不」，人的反應會是「不? 不什麼東西?」

Because you don't explain, it raises their curiosity, and they're like, "Why did you

因為你沒有解釋，反而引起他們的好奇，他們就會像這樣「為何叫他們停止啊?

want them to stop? Why did you say 'listen'? Why did you say 'no'?" That stop in the conversation

為何要我們聽好? 為何要說不?」對話中的命令單詞

allows you to step into the conversation and say what you need to say, okay? See? Stops

可以讓你進入對話並說出你想講的話，了解嗎? 停止對話

conversation. Words you can use as examples are "no", "stop", and "listen". And don't

你可以用「不行」「停止」或「聽好」，完全不需解釋

explain it. Because when you do say, "Listen to me, please. Listen to me", it's almost

因為當你說「聽到這邊，請聽到這邊。」這就好像在說

like you're saying, "You're not listening. It's not fair" and you're being a baby.

「你根本沒在聽，這不公平啊」然後你就變得跟嬰兒一樣

Now, I'm telling you; this is kind of rude. So don't think I'm telling you this is a good

現在，我要告訴你，這有點不禮貌，別以為這招可以套用在

way to start friends. That's why I said when you're in a situation where the person saying

交朋友上，想像一下你在一個情境當中，某人說了

something you may not agree, like, "All women should not work", you might say, "Excuse me?"

你不太同意的論點像是「全天下的女人都不應該工作」，你可能會說「不好意思?」

Don't say "excuse me"; just say, "Stop." They'll go, "What?" And then you go "boom". You say

千萬別說「不好意思」，直接說「停下」，他們會說「什麼?」，然後你就有機會大談你的論點了

your part right there. Right? You can say it for almost anything. It's immediate, and

你成功進入對話，是吧? 你可以用這招去應付大部分的狀況，立馬可以

it stops action. But it might be considered rude.

停止所有的行動，但也被認為有點不禮貌啦

So what's an alternative? You don't want to be rude, but you want to be heard, and you

所以另一個方法是什麼? 你不想表現出無禮的態度，但你想要被聽見，你想要

wanted people to come to your side, maybe agree with you. I've got another way of doing

別人注意到你，同意你的想法，我想出另外一個方法

it. This is called the "compliment and steal", okay? We use a compliment and a conjunction.

叫做「讚美並主導對話」，使用讚美和連接詞

Notice I said "imperative" here. Well, we use a conjunction. What does a conjunction

這裡我依然強調要用「命令」的方式，那麼，連接詞有什麼作用呢?

do? It brings two statements together, right, and joins them. So the ideas are kind of linked

它把兩個句子連接在一起，也就是說，連結兩個想法

together. "I am happy, and I am nice." "And" makes the two come together. "I'm happy, and

「我很快樂又開心。」，「又」把兩個元素結合起來，「我很快樂又開心。」

I'm nice." Well, we're going to use this method to take the conversation from someone. Well,

我們要用這個方式主宰對話

why? People love compliments. Have you ever had someone say to you, "You look nice today,

為什麼? 人喜歡被讚美，有人對你說「你今天好美

and --"? And then you wait. "And what? And what? I look nice and what?" Or, you know,

又...?」你期待下一句話「又怎樣? 又怎樣? 我今天很美又怎樣?」

"And I really love your car, and --." It grabs your attention, right? So when someone gives

「我真的很愛你的車還有...」，這種方式成功引起注目對吧? 當有人

you a compliment about you, naturally, you like it, so you listen, you focus. And when

讚美你時，人之常情，因為你喜歡別人講的話，你就會繼續傾聽，繼續專注在別人接下來要講的話

they say "and", usually, we're waiting for more of a compliment. Right? This is why it's

當他們說「又」時，我們也在等待更多的讚美，所以說這個方法

kind of a bit sneaky.

有點奸詐

So when you use the compliment, it draws attention from the speaker. So the speaker goes, "Huh?

當你用讚美的方式，說話的人會轉移焦點到你身上，說話者就會說「什麼?

What did you say about me? Aw, that's so nice." Right? But it also draws the attention of

你剛剛說我怎麼樣? 你人真好」，這個方式也能吸引

the audience. Remember: Whoever's speaking, people are listening to. So if the speaker

觀眾矚目，無論誰在說話，觀眾會一直聽下去，當說話的人

stops speak and looks at you to say, "Thank you", then everybody else will look to see,

停止說話，把目光移至你並說「謝謝你」，接著眾人就會想知道

"Who are you talking to? Who is the speaker speaking to?" So now, you have the speaker

「你在跟誰說話? 講者在跟誰說話?」現在，講者和觀眾

and the audience looking at you. Now it's time to lower the boom, as we say. Hit 'em.

已把焦點放在你身上了，所以現在回到話題上，如我們知道的「言歸正傳」

Because of this, they've got all their focus on you. They're focusing on your conjunction.

因為這樣，他們已將目光移至你，他們被你的連接詞給牽動

So you could say something like, "Gee, Bob. That's a good point." He'll go, "Yes." "But

所以你可以說「Bob， 你講得真好」，他接著說「嗯...」

did you consider --." Now, they're focused. They have to respond to what you said. And

「但是你有沒有覺得...」現在，他們非常專注，他們要認真傾聽才能答覆你

the audience is looking because he gave you it. So you've taken -- you didn't even take

觀眾很專注是因為講者的關係，你已經得爭取到關注，甚至不用爭取關注

it. The speaker gives you the conversation, okay? Because when they give you attention,

講者已經讓你有發言機會，當你被給予這樣的機會

they give you the conversation for you to do what you like. And because you gave them

你也就可以引領對話，而你的稱讚

a compliment, they open the door with a smile and wait. And then, when you hit them, they

使他們心情雀躍，當你言歸正傳時

have to respond to that. Cool, huh? You get to say your piece, and everybody's looking,

他們要認真傾聽並加以回覆，很酷吧? 你可以暢談你的想法，大家都注視你

and you've been nice about it. Over here, you're just saying, "Stop". They stop. You

那種喜悅感只有你能體會，到這裡你說「好了」，他們就會停止

have to go.

你再繼續說下去

Now, we're going to take a second. And in the next point, I'm going to finish off what

現在休息一秒鐘，再接續課程

we're doing here, okay? Ready?

好嗎，準備好了嗎?

So we talked about the two techniques. They seem very simple, but I'm telling you, they're

剛剛講了兩個簡單的技巧，但我告訴你，它們非常厲害

powerful. Because one, you might want to use it to demonstrate that you're an individual,

那些技巧，可以用來表達，你是一個個體

you have opinions, and you want to be respected; or -- sounds bad, but you don't respect the

你有想法，你想要被尊重，或者...聽起來不太好，你不喜歡講者

person who's speaking; you don't want to give them -- you know, be polite.

你不想留...面子給他

The second one is a bit more polite, showing respect. So when we look here, okay, the single-word

第二種方式，考量到尊重和禮貌，大家應該也認同單詞命令的效用

imperative -- it's a pro: It's direct. "Listen" "stop." "No." It's direct, and it's honest.

很直接地說「聽好」「停下」「不行」，直接又坦率

People know that you're not happy or you don't agree, and you're saying it directly. You're

大家知道你不認同他們的想法，你直接表達

not trying to make friends; you're trying to make a point. So use it when you have to

你沒有要交朋友，你只是在談論想法

be strong in a meeting or something. Right? Even with friends. "Let's go drinking." "No."

可以應用在會議或其他場合上，或朋友聚會時，「一起去喝酒」「不要」

Don't say, "No. I don't want to." Just say, "No." They will ask you questions and give

不要說「我並不想要喝酒」，直接了當說「不要」，他們會問你問題

you the attention, all right?

還會把焦點轉移至你

Problem, con. It can be seen as rude because you're not the treating them as equals. You're

直接反駁問題看似很無禮，你沒有想要善待他們，你就好像是

treating them as an "I'm stepping away from you. I'm saying this. And that's the way it

「道不同不相為謀，我有獨到的見解」

is." The second thing is it takes respect away from the speaker because you're not engaging

再者，直接反駁傷及講者的自尊心，表明你完全不想參與

or you're not speaking to the speaker like, "Hey. You know, I was just thinking -- you

或是，一副事不關己的模樣好像在說「我剛剛在思考你說的...」

were saying --." No. This is it. It's done. My respect for whatever you said or where

停，不要再說下去，自尊心喪失等同於

you're going: It's not there. So know that you're doing that, okay? It's a fine line

我也不在乎你接下來要說的大小事，所以要有分寸懂嗎? 這條路很小很難走

we walk, which means you have to be careful. Okay? You don't want to be rude, but you do

代表你要小心，你絕對不想無禮待人，你想要的是

want to be honest and direct.

坦率又直接

How about the "compliment and steal"? Using conjunctions with a compliment, remember?

關於「讚美和主導對話」，讚美詞後加連接詞，記得嗎?

"And" or "but" to take a person one way and then take it away. Well, number one, pro:

「又」或「但是」吸引講者注意並主導對話，最棒的好處就是

gives you the conversation. Literally. The speaker will go, "Oh, thank you. I'm glad

有人給你講話的權利，字面上講者會說「謝謝啦，我很開心你支持

you appreciate my point. Or you agree with this?" Because I could say something like,

我的想法或是，你同意我的想法?」接下來我就可以說

"Hey. I really like what you said when you said this. However --." And boom, you just

「我同意你的想法，但是...」，接下來，是你大展口才的時候

hit them. Okay? The audience listens to you. Remember? The audience, it was listening to

觀眾開始傾聽，觀眾的重心

the speaker. As soon as the speaker addresses you -- which means says, "Really? And what

從講者轉移至你，當講者說「真的嗎? 你喜歡哪一方面的論點?」

did you like?" -- as soon as they do that, not only do they give it to you, they bring

對話主導權和觀眾重心在講者的幫助下立即回到你身上

the audience to you. You don't have to go, "Please, everybody. Listen to me." They give

你就不用說「麻煩大家聽到我這邊」，講者已經給你了

it to you. Cool?

很酷吧?

Here's what we call a "con". A "con" means "not good". It can be seen as manipulative

有個貶意詞叫「反對」，經過巧妙處理後

because you're giving a compliment just to take the conversation. So as much as this

例如加點讚美詞，你就可以主導對話，不過像是比較直接的詞，一定要斟酌使用

is rude, you have to be careful how you use this. Some people think, "Oh, you didn't really

不然可能一不小心傷及無辜，有人覺得「不是那個意思吧

mean what you said. You just wanted to --." "No. I meant it. That was a good point." So be

你的意思是...」，「不，我就是那個意思，非常棒的想法」，所以

honest when you say it if you do like something they're saying. Or my favorite is to say this.

如果你喜歡他人的想法，就直接講，我喜歡這樣說

"I agree that you said that." And if you listen carefully, I didn't say anything. All I said

「我同意你說的」，如果你仔細聽，其實我根本沒說什麼，我說

is "I agree that you said this statement." It doesn't mean I agree with anything you

「我同意你的論點」並不代表我同意你說的每句話

said, okay? And I can say that. "Hey. I didn't say I liked that. I just agree that you said

或是我可以說「我沒有說我喜歡你的想法，我只是同意而已

that, and you think it's true. It had nothing to do with me. However --." All right?

你認為合理的點子跟我沒關係，我覺得...」

So on that note, I've given you two powerful techniques for conversation. You can try it

整理一下我教你的兩個對話技巧，你可以用在

at work or at play with your friends or at home with your mom, all right? "Mom, dinner's

工作上，朋友上，或家裡的媽媽，好嗎? 「媽，晚餐看起來好好吃

really good. However, portion size is not to my liking." All right? Anyway, look. Have

然後，我不喜歡我的嫁妝」，言歸正傳

a great day. Listen. We have to go. See? That was wrong. I should just say, "Listen." And

你看這個錯誤例子「我們該走了」，應該要說「聽好」，他會接著說

then he stops. "We must go. We must go." See? Use those imperatives, people. Also, there's

「要走了，要走了」，適時使用命令單詞，懂嗎?

another lesson on how to make imperatives nice. We really work with you at -- where?

當然還要用的得體，我們在哪裡傳授課程?

Www.engvid.com, "eng" as in "English", "vid" as in "video", where you can take this lesson,

Www.engvid.com，「eng」代表英文，「vid」代表影片，請上網搜尋，你可以找到

take the test, right, and other lessons. Fantastic teachers -- we have Ronnie, and we have Valen

課程和評量方式，還有很棒的老師，Ronnie，Valen

and Alex, and -- I can't remember them all. Have a good one.

Alex和我，還有很多，挑一個適合你的吧