so let's all put on a happy face for Flats the Flounder.

是以，讓我們都為比目魚扁擔擺出一副高興的樣子。

[clapping]

[鼓掌]

Tell the class something about yourself, Flats.

告訴同學們一些關於你自己的事情，平坦。

Well, I like to kick people's butts.

嗯，我喜歡踢別人的屁股。

[laughing, clapping]

[笑聲、掌聲]

What a card!

多麼好的一張卡片啊!

Now, Flats, it's time to pick your seat.

現在，扁擔們，是時候選擇你們的座位了。

Just go ahead and sit anywhere you like.

只要你想坐的地方，就去坐吧。

[Mrs. Puff] Okay, class, as you remember last week...

[泡芙夫人]好了，同學們，你們還記得上週...

Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

嗨，我是海綿寶寶。

Hi, SpongeBob.

嗨，海綿寶寶。

I'm going to kick your butt.

我要踢你的屁股。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

That joke was almost funnier the second time.

這個笑話在第二遍時幾乎更有趣。

- [Mrs. Puff] Bla, bla, bla... - No. I mean it.

- [泡芙夫人]叭，叭，叭......--不，我是說真的。

[laughs]

[笑聲]

That time it almost seemed like...

那一次，它幾乎看起來像...

You did mean it.

你確實是認真的。

- Mrs. Puff? - Yes, SpongeBob?

- 泡芙夫人？- 是的，海綿寶寶？

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

我的餘生可以得到原諒嗎？

[chuckles] Why, no, SpongeBob.

[笑聲] 為什麼，不，海綿寶寶。

I'm in the middle of a coffee fueled sermon right now,

我現在正在進行一場以咖啡為燃料的佈道會。

you can't afford to miss this information.

你不能錯過這個資訊。

Yes, Mrs. Puff.

是的，泡芙夫人。

Sorry, Mrs. Puff.

對不起，泡芙夫人。

Now, can I please have a volunteer

現在，請給我一個志願者

to come up to the board?

到董事會來？

How about you, Flats?

你呢，扁擔？

Please draw for us a diagram

請為我們畫一張圖

of a basic four-way intersection, Flats.

的一個基本的四路交叉口，平。

Please turn and show the class what you drew, honey.

請轉過身來，向全班展示你畫的東西，寶貝。

Ah!

啊!

[gasping] My! How very creative!

[我的!多麼有創意!

We have an artist in the class.

我們班上有一位藝術家。

[clapping]

[鼓掌]

[panting]

[氣喘吁吁]

I just don't understand.

我只是不明白。

Why would Flats want to kick my butt?

扁鵲為什麼要踢我的屁股？

I haven't said two words to the guy.

我沒有和這個人說過兩句話。

Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

嗨，我是海綿寶寶。

One, two...

一，二...

[gasps] Oh, no! That's three!

[喘氣] 哦，不！那是三個！

What am I going to do?

我該怎麼做呢？

Was that...? Someone's coming!

那是......嗎？有人來了！

They're getting closer.

他們越來越近了。

I just gotta act natural.

我只是要表現得很自然。

Oh, that's real nice.

哦，那是真正的好。

Whew! I thought for sure that was gonna be...

嗚呼!我以為這肯定是...

Flats!

扁平化!

Ah, hello, sir...

啊，你好，先生...

Kicked any good butts lately?

最近踢到了什麼好屁股？

Yeah, I remember last week,

是的，我記得上週。

I was kicking this guy's butt real good,

我把這傢伙的屁股踢得非常好。

and he leans over and says,

然後他俯身說。

"Hey, you know,

"嘿，你知道。

life's like a bucket of wood shavings,

生活就像一桶木屑。

except for when the shavings are in a pail,

除了當刨花放在桶裡的時候。

then it's like a pail of wood shavings!

那麼它就像一桶木屑!

[chuckles]

[笑聲]

Hey, that story really speaks to me.

嘿，這個故事真的讓我很感動。

Really? What's it say?

真的嗎？它說的是什麼？

It says, "Now I'm gonna kick your butt twice as hard."

它說，"現在我要把你的屁股踢得更狠"。

[toilet flushing]

[廁所沖水]

...and I leave Gary's water bowl to Gary, and my curtains to...

...我把加里的水碗留給加里，而我的窗簾則留給...

Oh, Neptune, I just can't do this!

哦，海王星，我只是不能這樣做!

[phone ringing]

[電話鈴響]

Death row, next in line speaking.

死囚區，下一個發言。

[Patrick] Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery.

[帕特里克]你好，我想下一個訂單，準備送貨。

Patrick? Is that you?

帕特里克？是你嗎？

Yeah, hey, Mario.

是的，嘿，馬里奧。

Let me get a large double olive, double--

讓我拿一個大的雙倍橄欖，雙...

Patrick, listen! It's me, SpongeBob!

派大星，聽著！是我，海綿寶寶！

I need your help!

我需要你的幫助!

You're working at Pizza Castle now?

你現在在比薩城堡工作？

What? No, listen!

什麼？不，聽著！

I'm in big trouble.

我有大麻煩了。

There's a new guy at school here and he wants to kick my butt!

學校裡有個新來的傢伙，他想踢我的屁股!

Listen, you're big and strong,

聽著，你很高大，很強壯。

do you think you could come down here

你認為你可以來這裡嗎？

and maybe rough him a bit?

也許會對他動粗？

Just to get him off my back?

只是為了讓他離開我？

Please, Patrick, I'm so scared,

拜託，帕特里克，我很害怕。

it feels like I'm gonna throw up.

感覺就像我要吐了。

[Patrick] No, they're not closed.

[帕特里克]不，他們沒有關閉。

I know, you want olives.

我知道，你想吃橄欖。

Patrick, you there?

帕特里克，你在嗎？

[Patrick] Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob.

[派大星]哦，我很抱歉，海綿寶寶。

I was just talking to my old community college buddy, Flats.

我剛剛和我的社區大學老同學扁擔哈拉。

I bumped into him at the soda store,

我在汽水店碰到了他。

isn't that funny?

這不是很有趣嗎？

It must have been years since we've seen each other.

我們一定有好幾年沒有見面了。

Well, let me get going.

好吧，讓我開始吧。

He's got to go back to school soon.

他很快就得回學校了。

He says he's got to kick somebody's butt.

他說，他必須要踢掉某人的屁股。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[Patrick] Hello? Is this Pizza Castle?

[帕特里克]喂？這是比薩城堡嗎？

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[SpongeBob grunts]

[海綿寶寶叫聲]

Come in, SpongeBob.

進來吧，海綿寶寶。

Mrs. Puff, can I be in a different class?

帕夫老師，我可以換個班嗎？

But why?

但為什麼呢？

I can't tell you.

我不能告訴你。

Why ever not?

為什麼不呢？

I just can't, Mrs. Puff.

我就是做不到，泡芙夫人。

My physical being is at stake, let's just leave it at that.

我的身體處於危險之中，讓我們就這樣算了。

SpongeBob, you can tell me anything.

海綿寶寶，你可以告訴我任何事情。

You've got to believe that.

你一定要相信這一點。

Well, okay.

嗯，好吧。

But only if you promise to keep it between us.

但前提是你要保證在我們之間保持這種關係。

Of course.

當然了。

Flats says he's going to kick my butt!

扁鵲說他要踢我的屁股!

What?! There shall be no butt-kicking

什麼？不可以踢屁股

in any class of mine!

在我的任何一個班級!

This is an adult program.

這是一個成人項目。

SpongeBob, just leave it to me.

海綿寶寶，就交給我吧。

Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.

哦，謝謝，泡芙夫人。

I knew I could count on you.

我知道我可以依靠你。

[bell ringing]

[鐘聲響起]

Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?

午餐愉快嗎，海綿寶寶？

Yes, Mrs. Puff.

是的，泡芙夫人。

Psst, SpongeBob,

Psst, SpongeBob,

I talked to Flats for you.

我替你和小平談了。

I used your name. It was all a misunderstanding.

我用了你的名字。這都是一個誤會。

You what?!

你說什麼？

He was never going to kick your butt at all!

他根本就不打算踢你的屁股!

You see SpongeBob,

你看海綿寶寶。

Flats is from a town where kicking someone's butt

扁擔來自一個踢人屁股的小鎮

means that he wants to be your friend.

意思是他想成為你的朋友。

And maybe play some sports with you on weekends.

也許還可以在週末和你玩一些運動。

I've got diarrhea!

我得了腹瀉!

[panting]

[氣喘吁吁]

Ah!

啊!

Huh?

嗯？

Are you Flats' dad?

你是Flats的父親嗎？

Why, yes I am.

為什麼，是的，我是。

Okay, see, I didn't know where else to turn!

好吧，看吧，我不知道還能去哪裡!

Patrick couldn't help me,

帕特里克無法幫助我。

and Mrs. Puff only made it worse.

而泡芙夫人只是讓情況變得更糟。

I sit next to your son Flats in school,

我在學校裡坐在你兒子平的旁邊。

and he is a fine boy and all,

而且他是個好孩子。

and I don't want you to take this the wrong way,

我不希望你把這個問題想歪了。

but he wants to kick my butt.

但他想踢我的屁股。

Dad, what are you doing?

爸爸，你在做什麼？

Uh, nothing son.

呃，沒什麼，兒子。

What did I tell you about talking to strangers?

我是怎麼告訴你要和陌生人說話的？

Now he's gonna kick my butt!

現在他要踢我的屁股了！

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Out of my way! Out of my way!

別擋著我的路!別擋著我的路！

Can't you see he's gonna kick my butt?!

你沒看到他要踢我的屁股嗎？

Hi there, young people. Nice day today.

你們好，年輕人。今天是個好日子。

So, you like kicking butts, do ya?

那麼，你喜歡踢屁股，是嗎？

Well, we'll show you, old man!

好吧，我們會給你看的，老傢伙!

There he is, go get him!

他在那裡，去抓他！