Name: 完美主義如何使我們生病 (How Perfectionism Makes Us Ill)
Uploaded: 2021-10-11T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 5 min 7 s

There is a kind of person who seems, at first glance, to benefit from an admirable degree of self-motivation, thoroughness and drive.

有一種人乍看之下，因為自己高度的自我激勵、貫徹精神與動力而受益良多。

程度副詞

They are up at dawn, they rarely take holidays, they are always sneaking in an extra hour or two of work.

他們再天才剛亮起時就起床、很少休假，每天都會偷偷多上一兩個小時的班。

情態副詞

Their bosses are highly impressed, they are constantly promoted, their grades have been excellent since primary school, they never miss an appointment or turn in a piece of work that is less than stellar.

老闆對他們的表現印象深刻、他們總在升遷、他們從小學時成績就一直非常傑出、他們從來不會失約，或是交出不夠亮眼的成果。

We like to say that such a person has high standards; we might even anoint them with the term 'perfectionist.'

我們喜歡說這種人有著高標準，甚至有可能在他們身上貼上「完美主義者」的標籤。

It might seem churlish to locate any problems here. Why complain about a somewhat overzealous devotion to perfection in a troubled and lackadaisical world?

要對種行為指出任何問題似乎顯得有些無禮。在這樣一個充滿各種問題又動盪不安的世界裡，對於完美的過度追求又有什麼好抱怨的呢？

There could surely be nothing too awful about high exactitude? What could be so imperfect about perfectionism?

對於高標準的追求肯定不會造成什麼嚴重問題吧？完美主義能有什麼太不完美的缺陷嗎？

The concern is not so much with the work of the perfectionists, (its recipients are in a privileged position), as with the state of their soul.

其中潛藏的問題其實並不在完美主義者所完成的工作本身 (大部分人都樂於接受這樣的工作結果)，而是在完美主義者自己的靈魂上。

Perfectionism does not—tragically—spring first and foremost from any kind of love of perfection in and of itself.

可悲的是，完美主義其實並不是因為對於完美的熱愛而誕生的。

It has its origins in a far more regrettable feeling of never being good enough.

它的起源來自一種對於從未受過足夠的關愛，而產生的懊悔情緒。

It is rooted in self-hatred—sparked by memories of being disapproved of or neglected by those who should more fairly have esteemed us warmly in childhood.

它源自於對自我的厭惡，並受到幼年時不被認同，或被理應更加溫柔對待我們的人們所忽視的記憶激發出來。

We become perfectionists from a primary sense of being unworthy; uninteresting, flawed, a disappointment, a letdown, a nuisance.

我們之所以成為完美主義者的原因在於感覺到自己沒有價值；不夠有趣、充滿缺陷、讓人失望、一個失敗作、一個麻煩。

So powerful is this sense, so appalling is it in its pressure on our psyches, we are prepared to do more or less anything to expunge it:

這種感受是如此強烈，對精神狀況所產生的壓力是如此駭人，讓我們願意準備做任何的事情來作為宣洩：

working at all hours, currying favor with authority, doing twice as much as the next person, these are the tools with which we seek to cleanse our apparently shamefully undeserving selves.

不分晝夜地工作、討好上級、做比別人多一倍的事等等，這些都是我們用以洗清自覺令人羞愧，不值一提的自己的方法。

One part of the mind promises the other that the completion of the next challenge will finally usher in peace.

我們內心中的一部分向著內心的其餘部份，保證完成了下一個挑戰之後，我們肯定能就此感受到平靜。

We can be very good at pretending that our ambitions are sane.

我們很能假裝自己設下的野心是合理的。

但是這樣的過程有著薛西弗斯式的悲哀。(譯註：薛西弗斯為希臘神話中被眾神懲罰要不斷反覆將巨石推上山頂的罪人。)

No sooner have we rolled our working boulder up the hill, than it will tumble back down again.

我們把巨石推到山頂後，便會發現巨石又會再次滾落。

There is never going to be a point of rest or a lasting feeling of completion.

到最後永遠不會有能休息的一刻，或是感受到成就感。

We are—in truth—ill rather than driven.

我們實際上並不是充滿動力，而是生病了。

We aren't interested in perfect work at all.

我們根本對完美地完成工作毫無興趣。

We are trying to escape from a feeling of being awful people, and work simply happens to be the medium through which we are striving to grow tolerable in our own eyes.

我們只是不想覺得自己是糟糕的人，而工作只不過剛好是逃避這種感受，並讓自己成長得更能讓自己接受的媒介而已。

But because our problem didn't begin with work, nor can work ever prove the solution.

但因為造成我們內心問題的原因並不是工作，因此再怎麼工作也不能解決問題。

Our real goal is not, as we think, to be an ideal employee or professional, it is to feel acceptable.

我們的真正目標不是像我們原本以為的，要成為一個理想的員工或專業人士，而是想感覺自己被周遭所接納。

But responsibility for a sense of acceptance cannot be handed over to our bosses or customers, or a ceaselessly demanding capitalist system.

但是我們不能把提供接納感的責任交給我們的老闆或顧客，或是這個永無止盡，總是要求更多的資本主義系統。

These will never let us rest easy because it is in their nature, without any evil intent, always to demand more.

他們永遠都不會讓我們輕易停下，而這是因為他們在本質上就會總是想要求我們更多，其中並不包含任何邪惡的意圖。

We need to shift our sense of where our drive is coming from.

我們需要轉變對我們的動力來自何處的認識。

We are not unnaturally interested in working perfectly.

我們並不是天生就有興趣想完美地完成工作。

We are laboring under an unusually intense impression that we are dreadful people—a problem for which working harder cannot be the answer.

我們如此奮力工作的原因在於對自己異常苛刻的認知，覺得自己是個非常糟糕的人－而這個問題並不能藉由更加把勁努力來解決。

We need to allow ourselves to imagine that we deserved to be accepted from the start, and that it cannot forever be our fault in our minds that we are not.

我們需要允許自己想像自己打從一開始就能為人所接納，而就算無法被接納，我們也不應該在內心中總想著是我們自己的錯。

It is not up to us to try to prove that we have a right to exist.

我們有沒有權利存在於這世界上並不是我們自己說得算。

It is asking too much of ourselves to have to experience a referendum on our legitimacy every time we hand in a report, every exam we have to pass, every customer we have to serve.

要自己在每次繳交一份報告、經歷一次考試、接待一位客人時都得經歷對於自己是否有著足夠價值的自我投票，實在是過於苛刻。

Working well is, naturally, an admirable goal.

工作做得好自然是個讓人稱羨的目標。

But it becomes a symptom of a mental perturbation when it becomes the cover for a secret aspiration to correct a deficit of early love.

但若將它作為一種方法來掩蓋住想要補償幼年缺乏關愛過去的慾望，那它便成為了一種精神錯亂的症狀。

We should welcome an ability to tolerate periods of laziness, not because we are congenitally idle, but because it is a sign that we have learnt to speak more kindly to ourselves,

我們應該歡迎自己容忍偶爾怠惰的能力，而這不是因為我們天性懶散，而是因為這是我們總算學會了如何對自己更仁慈的跡象，

and to be appropriately angry with those who could not, at the outset, accept us for who we were without a surfeit of trophies and prizes.

並且對於那些因為我們沒有足夠的功績，打從一開始便不接納我們的人們，合理地感到憤怒。

Follow the link on your screen now to explore our range of books, games, and gifts, all designed to help you better understand yourself.

點擊現在出現在螢幕上的連結，來探索我們販售的各式書籍、遊戲和禮物吧！它們全都被設計來讓你能更好地瞭解自己。