Yeah, and I was ok with that.

Wow, this is really something bumping into you here at the coffee shop.

Yeah, as soon as I walked in and saw you, I was going to turn around and leave, but you saw me before I could do that, so, here we are.

Hey, nice shirt.

Oh no, a compliment?

I could just say thank you and accept it graciously, but I feel so uncomfortable with the spotlight on me that I'm just going to deflect and say, "This shirt, it sucks."

You sure were in the bathroom for a while.

I thought you might've fallen in.

I was really just dreading coming back out here and talking to you.

As I'm talking to you, I'm analyzing your body language to see if you're getting bored or annoyed with me, and I'm becoming so painfully self-aware and uncomfortable that I don't even understand the words that are coming out of my own mouth anymore.

So, maybe I should just stop talking and save us both.

Now, maybe you understand why I avoid these kinds of situations.

I am so sorry.

I know this is going to disappoint you so much, but we had to cancel the big get-together with all our friends that was scheduled for this weekend.

Yes! Yes! That is what I'm talking about, yes!

I think I hurt my arm.

Well, I think I'm going to go head off to bed now and lie awake for the next three hours thinking about my top 10 most embarrassing moments.

Good night.