We may simply not be aware that we don't like ourselves very much — even as the sickness of self-hatred wreaks its havoc across a range of psychological situations and opportunities.

我們可能根本就沒有意識到我們不太喜歡自己－甚至連自我厭惡的症狀在一系列的心理狀況與機會下大肆破壞內心也毫無警覺。

Though we are relentless scrutinisers of others, we seldom pause to give a unitary verdict on what we make of our own characters.

儘管我們不遺餘力的審視他人，卻很少回過頭來對自己的性格做出統一的評價。

We may recognise our approval or distaste of ourselves in relation to specific actions; we will know when we are — for example — cross about being slow to complete a task or when we are pleased to have won a colleague's approval, but we are on the whole uninclined to step far back and consider ourselves in totality, as we might a stranger.

我們可能會在進行特定的行為時，認識到對自己的認可或厭惡。舉例來說，我們可能因為對工作進度緩慢而對自己不滿，或因為贏得同時的認可而感到高興。但我們總不願意後退一步，以如同對待陌生人那樣全面地審視自己。

We are too involved with ourselves on an ongoing basis to assess the sharper outlines of our own characters.

我們和自己相處的時間太久了，讓我們很難去以更精確的方式衡量自己的性格。

There are few occasions when we are summoned to ask whether we essentially like the person we are.

我們很少會捫心自問自己是不是真的喜歡自己。

As a result, our self-suspicion tends to linger in undiagnosed forms.

這讓我們對自我的懷疑以一種未經診療的方式持續殘留在腦中。

We miss the extent to which we can suffer from endemic self-loathing — and how a once acceptable and perhaps invigorating form of self-questioning has turned into a lacerating sequence of attacks on everything we are and do.

我們不知不覺遺忘了自己能承受自我厭惡到什麼程度，讓本來可以接受，或甚至是能振奮自己的自我質疑過程，變成了一連串對自己所做所為的無情攻擊。

We may — paradoxically — be at once highly depressed about ourselves — and oblivious that we are so.

我們很可能因此對自己感到相當沮喪，但矛盾的是卻又對自己真正的情況視而不見。

In order to know what we are up against, we should take a measure of our sense of self.

為了瞭解我們究竟在面對著怎麼樣的問題，我們應該應該要衡量自己的自我意識。

For this, there may be no better move than to resort to that clumsiest but simple and most helpful of psychological tools, the questionnaire.

要做到這點，沒有比使用或許笨拙，但也最為簡單且實用的心理學工具：問卷調查更好的辦法了。

We can ask to what extent we might agree with the following sentences on a scale of one to ten, ten meaning very much, zero indicating not at all.

我們可以詢問自己贊同以下的句子到什麼程度，以十分制計算，十分為非常認同，零分則為完全不認同。

If people knew who I really was, they would be horrified.

要是人們得知了我的真面目，他們將會嚇跑。

The inside of me is appalling.

我的內心讓人敬而遠之。

Often, I can't bear who I am.

我很常無法忍受自己竟然是這樣的人。

I'm disgusting. I'm shameful. I'm weak.

我很噁心。我很可恥。我很脆弱。

Others have a good cause to hate and harm me.

別人有很好的理由能夠憎恨並傷害我。

It's only a matter of time before terrible things happen to me, given who I am.

因為我是這樣糟糕的人，所以遲早會有可怕的事情發生在我的身上。

I'm sexually revolting.

以性的角度來說，我令人作嘔。

I am physically repulsive.

我在生理上令人噁心。

I am unworthy of being forgiven.

我不配被別人原諒。

I am a fitting target for ridicule.

我被別人嘲笑是很合理的。

I am bound to fail.

我註定是要失敗的。

I don't deserve much sympathy.

我不值得任何的同情。

People often see me in the street and feel contempt.

別人在街上看到我時常會覺得瞧不起我。

I have acted badly across my whole life.

我的一生當中一直都表現得不好。

There is something fundamentally wrong with me.

我這個人在根本上就有問題。

We don't need to do careful sums to arrive at an indicative picture at speed.

我們不需要做仔細的計算，就能很快地了解狀況。

Some of us will be reaching for tens on pretty much every occasion; others - blessedly - will be puzzled by the whole exercise. This book is not for them.

有些人在每一項問題上都回答了將近十分滿分，而其他人很幸運地，則單純搞不懂這些問題究竟有什麼意義。他們不需要這本書。

If we find ourselves reaching for high numbers, we may be tempted to come to a powerful yet entirely mistaken conclusion: that we are terrible people.

如果我們發現自己以高分回答了這些問題，我們可能會做出一個極端但完全錯誤的結論：我們就是性格糟糕的人。

The reality is at once less personally damning and far more redemptive: we aren't so terrible at all, we are just very ill.

但實際情況其實並沒有那麼令人受傷，更多了份救贖：我們根本沒有那麼糟糕，只是我們的內心生病了。

The questionnaire is telling us about an affliction, not about our past or what we deserve or who we really are.

這個問卷揭露的是我們正承受著苦痛，而不是我們過去是怎麼樣的人、應當被怎麼對待，或是真實的我們又是怎麼樣的人。

The very extremity of our answers should signal that something is afoot that far exceeds what any human is ever owed.

我們的回答中所顯示出的極端性，顯露了我們正承受著遠遠超過任何人所能忍受的痛苦。

We aren't intolerably wicked; we are in the grip of a cruel sickness which systematically destroys any confidence or generosity we might feel towards ourselves.

我們並非難以容忍的邪惡。我們只是被一種殘酷的疾病所控制，而它系統性地摧毀了我們對自己所可能感到的任何自信或寬容。

We are treating ourselves with a violence and pitilessness we wouldn't think of bestowing upon our worst enemies.

我們正以一種連面對自己最痛恨的敵人時都不會採取的暴力和無情態度，來對待自己。

We have, somehow, unbeknownst to us, ended up considering the person we have to accompany through life with an unparalleled degree of coldness and disdain.

我們在不知不覺中，以一種無與倫比的冷漠和不屑來對待必須陪伴一生的人：也就是我們自己。

It is time to come to terms with our suffering — and to refuse the delusion and meanness of self-hatred.

現在是時候正視我們所承受的苦痛，並阻絕自我厭惡所造成的妄想與對自己的無情想法。

Our Emotional First Aid Kit provides a set of useful salves to some of life's most challenging psychological situations, including friendship, love, sex, work and self. Click on screen now to find out more.

我們的《情緒性急救工具》一書提供了一系列針對生活中最具挑戰性心理狀況的療方，其中範圍包含了友誼、愛情、性、工作和自我。立刻點擊螢幕來瞭解更多詳情。