I who have died am alive again today and this is the son's birthday.

我這個死了的人今天又活過來了，這是我兒子的生日。

This is the birthday of life and of love and of wings and of the great happening of miraculous earth.

這是生命的生日，是愛的生日，是翅膀的生日，是奇蹟般的地球的偉大發生的生日。

Mhm Yeah, I and Doc Dermer the eight aka chad curry by D.

是的，我和Doc Dermer the eight aka chad curry by D。

J.

J.

I perform.

我表演。

I am about light and love and life and breath and to be able to inject that into a community is absolutely incredible.

我是關於光、愛、生命和呼吸的，能夠將其注入一個社區絕對是不可思議的。

Today we will be doing a white and black look and I will be using a lot of metal and armor to adorn my face.

今天我們將做一個白色和黑色的造型，我將使用大量的金屬和鎧甲來裝飾我的臉。

My first step to getting ready is I always shave my head.

我準備工作的第一步是我總是剃光頭。

I shaved my eyebrows.

我剃了眉毛。

The stage I met now is eye cream.

我現在遇到的階段是眼霜。

And so I'm going to follow up with a very light moisturizer and just seeing all these lines and my eye socket has been broken several times.

是以，我打算用很輕的保溼霜進行跟進，只是看到所有這些線條，我的眼窩已經被打破了好幾次。

All the scars where my face has been sewn back together to give those moisture and water and life.

我臉上所有的疤痕都被重新縫合起來，給那些水分和水以及生命。

It's, it reminds me every day how lucky we are to be alive.

它，它每天都提醒我，我們能活著是多麼幸運。

Going to move on to some primer.

要轉到一些底漆上了。

A miracle serum.

一種神奇的血清。

I was born in a place called normal Illinois.

我出生在一個叫做伊利諾伊州的正常地方。

I was born into a very religious family.

我出生在一個非常虔誠的家庭。

Was quite confusing for me as a child.

對小時候的我來說，這是一個相當困惑的問題。

When you learn early on that you are not the child or the sun that your father was hoping for.

當你很早就知道你不是你父親所希望的那個孩子或太陽。

This all american sports hero, not being athletic or the tone of my voice, it makes me weak or a faggot or all of these things started affecting my mental health.

這個全美體育英雄，不愛運動，或者我說話的語氣，讓我變得軟弱，或者是個基佬，或者這些東西都開始影響我的心理健康。

And one thing that kept me alive was the desire just to be happy at all costs ready to go for one of my favorite steps and that is the foundation.

而讓我活著的一件事是，只想不惜一切代價獲得快樂，準備去做我最喜歡的一個步驟，那就是打基礎。

This process will actually be two different colors.

這個過程實際上會有兩種不同的顏色。

I use an off white which will be first and then over the top will be a white white.

我使用一種非白色，這將是第一種，然後在上面將是一種白色的白色。

From normal, we migrated to Dallas texas when I was 16, 17, I would go into a record store and I remember there was a culture club poster and the dead or alive poster and I managed to chop lift them and put one in each pant leg and I put it between my mattress and just knowing it was there gave me so much life and felt like I was, I was like this, this is it.

在我16、17歲的時候，我們移民到了德克薩斯州的達拉斯，我走進一家唱片店，我記得那裡有一張文化俱樂部的海報和死或活的海報，我設法把它們劈開，在每條褲腿上放一張，我把它放在我的床墊之間，只要知道它在那裡，就給了我很多生命，感覺我是，我是這樣，這就是它。

It just made sense.

這只是有意義的。

Mm So in my teenage years at my baptist school, you know, I was really starting to express myself and dressing more punk and new wave and always breaking the dress code.

所以在我十幾歲的時候，在我的浸信會學校，你知道，我真的開始表達自己，穿得更像朋克和新浪潮，總是打破著裝規範。

Around 18 or 19 I went to my first new wave club and just everything just started happening so fast because I feel like I was shackled in this holy bubble and not being able to be true to who I was.

大約18或19歲時，我去了我的第一個新浪潮俱樂部，一切都開始發生得如此之快，因為我覺得我被束縛在這個神聖的保麗龍中，不能成為真正的我。

It also put me in quite a challenged headspace.

這也使我處於一個相當有挑戰性的頭腦空間。

I think there was so much I needed to get out.

我想我有太多東西需要拿出來了。

I call it the school of hard knocks.

我稱其為 "苦行僧學校"。

And now I moved from the off white to the very white foundation which will go over top.

而現在，我從米白色轉到了非常白的基礎上，這將會在上面進行。

So at some point in my journey, I moved to new york working full time with rick Owens which was a life changer for me.

是以，在我的旅程中的某個時刻，我搬到了紐約，與瑞克-歐文斯一起全職工作，這對我來說是一個生活的改變。

The rig store elevated me into a very visible position and my look then I was very, very white of course, long black hair shaved in the back.

鑽機店將我提升到一個非常明顯的位置，我的樣子當時當然是非常非常白的，黑色的長髮剃在後面。

My image became very, very known and now I am going to be dousing myself with a lot of powder.

我的形象變得非常非常有名，現在我將用大量的粉末來澆灌自己。

Mhm And this is another setting power.

而這是另一種設置權力。

It's shimmering white.

它是閃閃發光的白色。

Of course new york had incredible party.

當然，紐約有令人難以置信的聚會。

There's Susan Marsh Amanda Lepore.

有蘇珊-馬什-阿曼達-萊波爾。

Lady fag in fashion parties as well.

時尚派對中的女同性戀者也是如此。

Was quite an extraordinary scene.

這是一個相當不尋常的場景。

The party that I was doing none was kind of an underground movement.

我所做的黨沒有一個是地下運動。

It was an amazing time in my life.

這是我生命中一個令人驚歎的時刻。

I was also fading in and out of drug abuse.

我也在濫用藥物的過程中漸漸消失。

So I think new york made me who I am.

所以我認為是紐約造就了現在的我。

It's a big part of my life.

這是我生活中的一個重要部分。

Now the base layer is set.

現在基礎層已經設置好了。

I will be doing some highlighting around the eye.

我將在眼睛周圍做一些高光處理。

It just brings the eyes out, makes them more dimensional.

它只是把眼睛帶出來，使它們更有立體感。

The next stage is another one of my favorite stages and that is contour.

下一個階段是我最喜歡的另一個階段，那就是勾勒輪廓。

These are a light purple and beige and then a deep grey.

這些是淺紫色和米色，然後是深灰色。

I like everything very tonal.

我喜歡一切都很有調性。

So leaving new york, I went to antwerp to work for designers against AIDS.

所以離開紐約後，我去了安特衛普，為反對艾滋病的設計師工作。

I've never been out of the states before, which is just unthinkable.

我以前從未離開過美國，這簡直是不可想象的。

The night before I came abroad, I got attacked and was beaten pretty severely wound up in the hospital and broke my nose in two places, broke my eye socket, had to have my face sewn back together and to get on that airplane was probably one of the hardest things that I've ever done.

在我出國的前一天晚上，我遭到襲擊，被打得很慘，進了醫院，鼻子斷了兩處，眼眶破裂，不得不把臉縫在一起，上飛機可能是我做過的最困難的事情之一。

It was a turning point in my life.

這是我生命中的一個轉捩點。

I healed.

我痊癒了。

I stayed in antwerp for about five months and when I came to London on an overnight bus from antwerp, when I stepped on London soil, I felt like I had arrived.

我在安特衛普呆了大約五個月，當我從安特衛普乘夜車來到倫敦時，當我踏上倫敦的土地時，我覺得我已經到了。

So now I'll be applying liquid liner to my eyes.

是以，現在我將在我的眼睛上塗抹液體眼線。

The shape today we're doing is very warrior with a cut crease.

今天我們要做的形狀是非常戰士的，有一個切割的摺痕。

Mhm You know, the first year uh, in London and really establishing myself in meeting the community and I found my place pretty quickly.

你知道，第一年，呃，在倫敦，真正建立自己的社區，我很快找到了自己的位置。

I was learning to DJ, which was my bread and butter in London.

我當時正在學習DJ，這是我在倫敦的麵包和黃油。

I feel like my DJ sets are very performative.

我覺得我的DJ組合非常具有表演性。

It's when I feel alive, it's when I get to put everything every ounce of me into performance.

這是我感到活著的時候，這是我能把我的每一盎司都投入到表演中的時候。

I started pushing the envelope and doing different looks and just started using bandages and connecting wires to my face for a lot of duct tape, which I would use in my clothes.

我開始推陳出新，做不同的造型，剛開始用繃帶和連接線在我的臉上做大量的膠帶，我會在我的衣服裡使用這些膠帶。

You know, they say no pain, no gain.

你知道，他們說沒有痛苦就沒有收穫。

I was in the A and E quite a bit from having fashion emergencies because I was doing things to myself through the looks that were quite harmful to the body, Just blending shadowing the bottom of the eye.

我因為有時尚的緊急情況而經常去A和E，因為我通過外觀對自己做了一些對身體相當有害的事情，只是把眼睛底部的陰影混在一起。

Now to emphasise the I even more and make it really big and dramatic.

現在要更多地強調 "I"，並使其成為真正大的和戲劇性的。

We will shadow the top.

我們將在上面留下陰影。

Next are the lines and the swirls and all of the amazing things that my dear friend and partner in crime Anastasia will be helping me going to be an extra set of arms for me today, we met at L A MosCA About nine years, 8, 9 years ago and it was just one of these moments of immediacy where I felt I had met a kindred spirit, I was absolutely an or because I come from a small country and I've never seen anyone like that to walk around in daylight, so bravely would just showing everyone who they genuinely are because it wasn't him wearing a costume, it was just him being him and it was immediately drawn to him.

接下來是我親愛的朋友和犯罪夥伴阿納斯塔西婭將幫助我的線條和漩渦以及所有驚人的事情，她今天將成為我的一組額外的武器，我們大約9年前在洛杉磯MosCA相遇，那只是這些即時的時刻之一，我覺得我遇到了一個同類的精神。我絕對是一個人，因為我來自一個小國家，我從來沒有見過這樣的人，在白天走來走去，如此勇敢地向大家展示他們真正的身份，因為他沒有穿上服裝，只是他是他，我立刻被他吸引了。

So, my peeps, my people and community in London are solely based in the nightlife and the underground scene in chaos.

是以，我的夥伴們，我在倫敦的人和社區完全基於夜生活和地下場景的混亂。

London is not just a techno club, it is really a cohesive statement of what the human condition is all about, and meeting these amazing young creatures and individuals that are so beautiful and learning about them and being mother in the scene, or people referring me to mother means the world to me, and I would not be sitting here if it wasn't for this community constantly supporting me.

倫敦不僅僅是一個技術俱樂部，它確實是人類狀況的一個凝聚性聲明，遇到這些神奇的年輕生物和個人，他們是如此美麗，學習他們，在這個場景中成為母親，或者人們把我稱為母親對我來說意味著世界，如果不是這個社區不斷支持我，我不會坐在這裡。

I think it's so important to give them the respect that they need to give them the respect that they deserve and to learn from them the importance of demanding respect of asking for what you feel you're worth.

我認為給予他們所需的尊重，給予他們應得的尊重，並從他們身上學到要求尊重的重要性，要求得到你覺得自己值得的東西，這一點非常重要。

Anyway, Anastasia, how are we doing?

總之，阿納斯塔西婭，我們做得怎麼樣？

We're almost there for me who I am.

對於我是誰，我們幾乎已經到了。

It's I don't like to be put in a box when people ask about sexuality or preferences or what pronoun I would like to be referred to as.

當人們問及性行為或偏好或我想被稱為什麼代名詞時，我不喜歡被放在一個盒子裡。

I think all of it fits me.

我認為所有這些都適合我。

There's not a destination.

沒有一個目的地。

We don't end.

我們沒有結束。

It's about constantly becoming So to be humble and to be kind and be considerate and empathetic towards any human I think is very important.

這是關於不斷地成為 所以要謙虛，要善良，對任何人類都要體諒和同情，我認為這是非常重要的。

Wow.

哇。

Yes, incredible.

是的，難以置信。

This one's my favorite.

這個是我的最愛。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

I love you.

我愛你。

Yeah.

是的。

So two more things to do.

所以還有兩件事要做。

We've got the lip which is going to be a bloodstain and then my armor.

我們已經得到了嘴脣，這將是一個血跡，然後是我的盔甲。

This is important for me to realize this is not covering anything up.

這對我來說很重要，因為我意識到這不是在掩蓋什麼。

This is just an extension of what's in here.

這只是這裡的內容的一個延伸。

For my final step.

對於我的最後一步。

I will be taking this brass armor and I will be super gluing it.

我將會把這個黃銅盔甲，我將會用超級膠水粘住它。

Super glue is a very dear friend of mine and I will be super gluing the pieces to my face.

超級膠水是我非常親愛的朋友，我將用超級膠水把這些碎片粘在我的臉上。

I believe any time we're out in the world we should always have on our armor.

我相信我們在外面的任何時候都應該穿上我們的盔甲。

I realized in my life it's through sobriety.

我意識到在我的生活中，它是通過清醒的方式。

I've become the drug that I've always craved.

我已經成為我一直渴望的毒品。

You know, it's I am my own drug.

你知道，這是我自己的毒品。

I've also found that forgiveness is essential, resentment is disease.

我還發現，寬恕是必要的，怨恨是疾病。

My mother.

我的母親。

It has done her best to understand who I am.

它已經盡了最大努力來了解我是誰。

We were reunited after 12 years of not seeing one another here in London two years ago.

兩年前在倫敦，我們在12年未見後重逢。

And it was life changing for both of us and my father and I have made peace and it's a lifelong process are complete, very happy.

這對我們兩個人來說都是生活的改變，我和我的父親已經達成和解，這是一個終生的過程，是完整的，非常幸福的。

Mhm.

嗯。

Um, thank you for joining me now for the next part, which is very exciting wardrobe.

嗯，謝謝你現在加入我的下一部分，這是非常令人興奮的衣櫃。

Well, I wear this to mass today.

好吧，我今天穿這個去做彌撒。

The bride says, wait.

新娘說，等等。

Mhm.

嗯。

Mhm.

嗯。

Absolutely divine.

絕對是神來之筆。

But now for today, Yeah, yeah.

但現在對於今天來說，是的，是的。

My selection today.

我今天的選擇。

This is wonderful, gorgeous ceremonial dress by rick Owens die.

這是美妙的，華麗的儀式禮服由裡克-歐文斯模具。

High red boots, a posture collar.

高高的紅色靴子，一個姿勢的領子。

This incredible piece by Nolo and of course groceries.

諾羅的這一不可思議的作品，當然還有雜貨。

Yeah.

是的。

The religion that scarred me for so long has completely changed in every way.

那個讓我傷痕累累的宗教在各方面都完全改變了。

So to go into these sacred spaces and light, light a candle of hope and of love and just to be able to move through them in such a beautiful way.

是以，進入這些神聖的空間，點燃，點燃希望和愛的蠟燭，只是為了能夠以如此美麗的方式穿過它們。

I just feel like it's the arms of the universe embracing us.

我只是覺得這是宇宙的懷抱在擁抱我們。

I found my own religion and the religion is me and the things that I believe in.

我找到了我自己的宗教，這個宗教就是我和我所相信的東西。

Mm hmm, mm hmm.

嗯哼，嗯哼。

Yeah.

是的。

Mhm.

嗯。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。