Firstly, to find a job that we enjoyed, and secondly, to find a job that paid us enough to cover reasonable material needs.

首先要找到一份我們喜歡的工作，第二，找到一份薪資足以滿足合理物質需求的工作。

But in order to think so freely, we would have to be emotionally balanced in a way that few of us actually are.

但要想如此自由地思考，我們就必須在情感上達到平衡，但很少有人能做到這點。

In reality, when it comes to choosing an occupation, we tend to be haunted by three additional priorities.

在現實中，當涉及到選擇職業時，我們往往被三個額外的優先事項所困擾著。

We need to find a job that will pay not just enough to cover reasonable material expenses, but a lot more besides, enough to impress other people — even other people we don't like very much.

我們需要找到一份收入不僅足以支付合理物質開支的工作，除此之外還要能足以讓他人稱羨－儘管我們甚至不怎麼喜歡那個人也一樣。

We also crave to find a job that will allow us not to be at the mercy of other people, whom we may deep down fear and distrust.

我們也渴望找到一份能讓我們不受那些讓我們在內心深處恐懼和不信任的他人任意擺佈的工作。

And we hope for a job that will make us known, esteemed, honored and perhaps, famous, so that we will never again have to feel small or neglected.

我們還希望有一份能讓我們為人所知、受人尊敬、享盡名譽，或許還能讓我們出名的工作，讓我們再也不會感到渺小或被忽視。

Needless to say, these three additional requirements make working life hugely more complicated and unhappy than it would otherwise have needed to be.

不用說，這三個額外的要求使工作生活變得不必要地複雜且不快樂。

No wonder we may get stuck choosing what to do.

難怪我們會陷入要選擇做什麼工作的困境。

Rather than being able to focus on the jobs that we are passionate about and that we would intrinsically enjoy, we have to twist our natures to appease extrinsic imperatives.

比起專注於我們所熱衷的領域和本來真心喜愛的工作，我們不得不扭曲我們的天性，以滿足外在的需求。

There is no way that we could, for example, work as a kindergarten teacher, a psychotherapist, a carpenter or a cook.

例如，我們不可能成為幼兒園教師、心理治療師、木匠或廚師。

Our psychological drive to impress, to have power over others, and to be known to strangers preclude such relatively modest choices from the outset.

我們想要去讓他人印象深刻、掌握比別人更大的權力，還有要讓陌生人也知道我們身分的心理渴望讓這些相對溫和的選擇被排除出去。

The state of our psyches means that we have to aim for far more stellar careers, even in fields we don't really much like and we may have to work much harder than is good for our health or our families.

我們的心理狀態意味著我們必須以加更優秀的職業為目標，就算我們並不怎麼喜歡該領域，而且可能不得不犧牲掉自己的健康與家庭。

We're prone to be constantly panicked — because the bar for "failing" is so much higher.

我們變得更容易經常驚慌失措－因為「失敗」的可能性變得更高了。

A slight wind of disapproval from the public might be experienced as appalling; a bit less money than the astronomical sum we made last year will register as fateful.

周遭些微的不贊同在耳裡聽起來駭人聽聞；比去年賺到的天文數字相比少了一點點錢，我們便感到命運已棄我們而去。

Under pressure, we may make unwise and hasty moves, we might cut corners, involve ourselves in risky schemes and not give our work the time and calm it needs.

在壓力之下，我們便可能做出不明智且急躁的選擇，我們可能會偷吃步，讓自己牽涉到危險的情境，並沒有給予自己足夠的時間冷靜。

What would enable us to make the right career choices is something that seems, on the face of it, to have nothing to do with work at all: love, a profound experience of love in both childhood and adulthood.

而做出正確職涯選擇的關鍵因素在表面上其實和工作完全沒有關係：那就是愛，在童年與成年時對於愛是否有過深刻的體驗。

A child who is properly loved is a creature who doesn't need to prove itself in any significant way.

一個被恰當地愛著的孩子不需要在任何方面證明自己。

It doesn't have to excel at school, dazzle acquaintances, or shore up a parent's fragile sense of esteem.

他不一定要在學校裡出類拔萃、讓身旁的人感到讚嘆，或支撐著父母那脆弱的自尊心。

It may do well at school anyway, but because it enjoys the work, not because it has to boost a parent.

他或許能在學校表現得很好，但那是因為他喜歡這些學科，而不是為了要取悅父母。

It can find its way to its own pleasures, it doesn't need to amaze; because it's special enough just by existing.

他能夠找尋到自己的快樂，他不需要使人驚歎不已；因為他只要活著，就夠特別了。

It may end up working extremely hard, but it will do so because it is passionate, not because it craves applause.

他可能會很非常努力上進，但這是因為他懷抱著熱情，而不是因為他渴望誇獎。

It can concentrate on doing a job very well, while unimpeded by any worries as to whether it will be known in 100 years, or to people in another city.

他能夠專注在手邊的工作上，而不需要因為擔心自己在 100 年後還會不會為人所知，或其他人知不知道他的名字。

It can potter away in obscurity, deriving gratification from the business at hand.

他能隱姓埋名地默默努力，並從手頭的工作中得到滿足。

An experience of adult love further enhances the sense of security we need.

而成年階段的愛戀則能進一步增強我們所需要的安全感。

When someone properly loves us, their patience, concern and tenderness make us feel rooted and welcome on the earth.

當被正確地愛著時，對方所提供的耐心、關心與溫柔讓我們感覺踏實，真實地被這個世界所歡迎。

It doesn't really matter if no one knows who we are, and if there is very little left over at the end of the month.

別人知不知道我們的名字並不重要，月底就算存款無多也無所謂。

"Two people who are in love will be happy to sleep on a park bench," wrote D. H. Lawrence, an idea which may not be literally true, but which conveys well enough what room for maneuver love gives us in relation to our material priorities.

「兩個相愛的人也會樂意睡在公園長椅上」大衛赫伯特勞倫斯曾這麼寫道。這種說法在現實上可能不切實際，但它很好地表露出了愛能夠使我們對多少物質上的需求妥協。

It follows that when people crave power, fortune and fame, it isn't greed that is driving them, but an anguished feeling of being unloved, for which we can feel enormous compassion.

由此可見，當人們渴望權力、財富和名聲時，並不是貪婪在驅使著他們，而是一種想要被愛的痛苦在迫使他們前行，而這不禁讓人感到相當同情。

They may look like winners, they are in reality unhappy victims.

他們表面上看起來像是贏家，實際上卻是不快樂的受害者。

Excessive achievements are the legacy of an emotionally damaged sense that it isn't enough just to be.

這些過度的成就不過是一種受損的情緒感官所造成的結果，讓人不會為眼下的一切感到滿足。

It may have become second nature to us to try to fix emotional wounds through our career choices and exploits.

想要藉由職涯選擇與英勇的行為來修復我們的情緒傷口，或許已成為了我們的本能。

We may not even realize what we are up to.

我們甚至沒有察覺自己究竟想做什麼。

We should dare to ask: What might I have done with my life if I had felt properly loved from the start?

我們應該要大膽的捫心自問：如果我從一開始就感受到切實的愛，我的人生可能會是什麼樣子？

And we may have to acknowledge, with tears in our eyes, how different our path would have been?

然後我們可能不得不含著眼淚承認，我們的道路會是多麼的不同。

How many genuine ambitions we sacrificed in the name of shoring up a sense of acceptability we should have had from infancy?

為了要重新取回我們本該從嬰兒時期便感受到的包容感，我們究竟犧牲了自己多少的雄心壯志？

The most astonishing career achievements will never compensate anyone for the lack of love they have suffered: work cannot fix a deficit of love.

就算是最令人稱羨的職涯成就也沒有辦法補償因為缺乏愛所受到的痛苦：工作並無法治療缺失的愛。

We should enjoy work on its own terms, and in another part of our lives, mourn and seek redemptive substitutes for the love we originally lacked.

我們應該照著自己的心思享受工作，並在我們生活的其他部分中，為了我們原先缺乏的愛哀悼並尋找到作為替代的救贖

How to Get On With Your Colleagues provides a guide to the most difficult aspect to the workplace: creating harmonious working relationships.

《如何和你的同事們相處》一書提供了對職場中最棘手層面的指南：如何締造和諧的職場人際關係。