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  • So, I have been reading this fascinating book called "The Upside of Your Dark Side."


  • Two pioneering researchers in the field of psychology show that while mindfulness, kindness, and positivity can take us far, they cannot take us all the way.


  • In fact, Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener argue that psychological health means wholeness rather than happiness, and the two highlight the essential role played by our negative emotions.

    事實上,Todd Kashdan 和 Robert Biswas-Diener 辯稱,心理健康指的是整體性,而不是幸福感,而他們兩者強調了我們負面情緒所起的重要作用。

  • I think this book is great, 'cause I've been very vocal about how I'm, like, fed up with the happiness hype in popular psychology, and you know that I love confirmation bias backed by science.


  • So, here we go, three science-backed reasons that trying to be happy is actually fucking up your life and making you stupid.


  • One, happy people are less persuasive.


  • So, according to Kashdan and Biswas-Diener, happy people tend to focus on the bigger picture at the expense of tiny details.

    根據 Kashdan 和 Biswas-Diener 的說法,快樂的人往往會關注大局,而忽略了微小的細節。

  • As a result, their arguments are less nuanced and concrete.


  • In fact, your happiness can interfere with your performance and accuracy.


  • Several studies were performed asking happy and unhappy people to create arguments about issues from the allocation of tax dollars...


  • Community, everyone benefits!


  • the existence of soulmates.


  • And then what, your soulmate dies, and then you're alone forever and then you just have to die alone? Really? Is that fair?


  • And in all of the studies, unhappy people's reasoning was judged as 25 percent more convincing than the happy participants.

    而在所有的研究中,不快樂的人的理論比快樂的參與者的說服力高 25%。

  • So, my grumpy attitude not only gives me, like, a stellar sense of humor, but I can convince everyone else to be grumpy as well.


  • Two, happy people are more easily deceived and likely to "recall" false facts.


  • So, in one study, participants were asked to identify who was a liar and who was honest in a series of videotapes.


  • The tapes showed people denying that they had stolen something, and about half of them were telling the truth.


  • Happy people identified liars only 49% of the time, whereas unhappy people detected 62% of the frauds.

    只有 49% 快樂的人發現了其中的騙子,而不快樂的人則發現了 62% 的謊言。

  • So, if not being able to have a stronger bullshit detector is a good enough reason for you, also consider that in other experiments, people had to recall facts or words that they'd been presented with before.


  • The happiest among these people were the most prone to recall items they'd never even been shown.


  • So, so far, happy people are less persuasive and more gullible.


  • I now understand why the best lawyers are miserable.


  • And finally, people who focus on achieving happiness often get less joy out of pleasurable experiences that are supposed to create happiness.


  • In one experiment, people were divided into different groups prior to listening to Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring."


  • One group was asked to rate their happiness level while listening, and to try to willfully increase their pleasure from listening and estimate how well that worked; the other group was told just to listen.

    一組被要求在聆聽時評估他們的幸福程度,並嘗試故意增加他們從聆聽中獲得的樂趣並評估其效果如何; 另一組被告知只要傾聽就好。

  • Who ended up being happier?


  • Those who only listened, enjoying "Rite of Spring" 7.5 times as much as those who were instructed to try to be happy and to evaluate their happiness.

    答案是只要聆聽、享受《春之祭》的人,他們的幸福感是比被指示要試圖獲得並評價他們幸福感的人的 7.5 倍。

  • So, striving to be happy can make you unhappy.


  • And the researchers argue that this pursuit of happiness over all else is inherently self-centered and that this focus on your own happiness could actually distract you from other people's needs, thus diminishing your relationships.


  • So, for instance, you might constantly avoid a friend who is troubled because you really don't want their negative vibes to affect you.


  • But this friend will eventually see your avoidance as a lack of attunement, and the longer that this continues, the more likely that friendship will end.


  • Plus, mind-blowing fact, research indicates people who value the pursuit of happiness actually feel lonelier than other people.


  • And paradoxically, relationships are like the highest factors for happinessfriendships, romance, family, these are the sources of our happiness.


  • But happiness consciousness often puts valuing happiness itself over relationships, thus, they are lonely.


  • So, there you have it, three reasons to be justified in your grumpy ways, and to view your unhappiness, not as like some kind of defect, but a necessary discernment to be a more persuasive, less gullible, more present, and more attuned human being.


  • I'm supremely unhappy, and thank you to patrons who supported today's video and thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today's episode.

    我是「非常不高興」,感謝今天影片的贊助商 Patreons,還有感謝 BetterHelp 對本集節目的贊助。

  • BetterHelp's mission is to provide anyone facing life's challenges with easy, discreet, professional, convenient, and affordable access to professional counseling from a licensed therapist.

    BetterHelp 的使命是為任何面臨生活挑戰的人提供輕鬆、謹慎、專業、方便且負擔得起的執照治療師的專業諮詢服務。

  • So, you fill out a brief questionnaire about your history and what you'd like to work on, and then you are matched with a therapist.


  • All 11,000+ counselors on BetterHelp, with no exceptions, are licensed, trained, experienced, and accredited psychologists, marriage and family therapists, clinical social workers, or licensed professional counselors.

    BetterHelp 上的所有 11,000 多名諮詢師,無一例外,都是有執照、經過培訓、有經驗,和受到認可的心理學家、婚姻及家庭治療師、臨床社會工作者,或有執照的專業諮詢人員。

  • Scheduling is super easy and flexible, and you pay one low flat fee for unlimited messaging and one weekly session, which is great, 'cause you know, traditionally therapists can run $150 to $200 per session.

    時間安排超級簡單且靈活,而你只需支付一筆低額的固定費用,即可獲得無限量的訊息傳遞和每週一次的治療,這真的很棒,因為你知道的,傳統的治療師每次治療的費用為 150 到 200 美元。

  • You can go to to sign up today and get 10% off your first month.

    趕快到 進行註冊,第一個月即可享受 10% 的折扣。

  • That's


So, I have been reading this fascinating book called "The Upside of Your Dark Side."


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B1 中級 中文 幸福 快樂 治療師 孤獨 執照 暴躁

為什麼試圖獲得幸福會使你更不快樂? (Why trying to be happy is making you miserable)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 07 月 16 日