And the reason she failed is because she believes in one of the greatest myths of this generation:

而她失敗的原因是她相信這一代最偉大的神話之一。

self-discipline.

自律。

She says to herself, “I need to find a good diet plan, workout, and study schedule and

她對自己說，"我需要找到一個好的飲食計劃、鍛鍊和學習計劃，並

just stick to it.

只要堅持下去。

I need to be consistent and whip myself into shape.”

我需要保持一致，鞭策自己進入狀態。"

But this belief hasn't worked out well for Dani.

但這種信念對Dani來說並不奏效。

Her life is a constant rollercoaster ride.

她的生活就像坐雲霄飛車一樣持續不斷。

She diets for a few weeks before relapsing back into unhealthy foods.

她節食了幾個星期，然後又復發到不健康的食物中。

She works out for a month and then quits the next month.

她鍛鍊了一個月，然後第二個月就辭職了。

She studies hard for a few days and then binges Netflix for the next few.

她努力學習了幾天，然後在接下來的幾天裡狂看Netflix。

She's always going up and down on this rollercoaster, never finding true, lasting change.

她總是在這個雲霄飛車上上上下下，從未找到真正的、持久的改變。

Dani doesn't understand that self-discipline will never lead to success.

丹妮不明白，自律永遠不會帶來成功。

Self-discipline means dividing oneself into two halves, the sculptor and the clay, the

自律意味著將自己分為兩部分，即雕塑家和泥土，也就是雕塑家。

molder and the molded, with one-half trying to control the other.

塑造者和被塑造者，其中一半試圖控制另一半。

This division creates inner conflict, and the creation of inner conflict can never lead

這種分裂造成了內心的衝突，而內心衝突的產生永遠不可能導致

to inner peace, and no matter how someone defines success for themselves, at some level,

到內心的平靜，無論某人如何定義自己的成功，在某些層面上。

it always comes back to a form of inner peace or the end of inner conflict.

它總是迴歸到某種形式的內在和平或內在衝突的結束。

So self-discipline can never lead to success, and in fact, it leads to the exact opposite:

是以，自律永遠不可能導致成功，事實上，它導致的結果正好相反。

self-imprisonment.

自我囚禁。

When looked at plainly, self-discipline is a ridiculous idea.

如果直截了當地看，自律是一個可笑的想法。

Most things can't change themselves–they need something external to do it.

大多數事情不能自己改變-它們需要外部的東西來做。

For example, a glass of water can't turn itself red, but with the addition of dye,

例如，一杯水不可能自己變成紅色，但加入了染料。

it can change.

它可以改變。

When Dani uses self-discipline, she divides herself into two halves, trying to get one-half

當Dani使用自律時，她把自己抽成兩半，試圖讓二分之一的人

to act on the other.

以對另一個人採取行動。

But this is like pouring one glass of water into two separate glasses and then pouring

但這就像把一杯水倒入兩個不同的杯子，然後再倒入

them back into the same one, hoping something new will happen.

他們又回到了同一個地方，希望會有新的事情發生。

Self-discipline is a waste of time because it never leads to lasting change.

自律是浪費時間，因為它從未導致持久的改變。

True change comes from exposure to novelty, and it's much more like a chemical reaction.

真正的變化來自於對新事物的接觸，它更像是一種化學反應。

Dani's friend Sam is captain of her college basketball team and an honours student.

Dani的朋友Sam是她大學籃球隊的隊長，也是一名優等生。

And one day, Dani asked her how she stayed in such great shape and did so well in school.

有一天，丹妮問她，她是如何保持這麼好的身材，在學校表現得這麼好。

“What's your secret?” she asked.

"你有什麼祕密？"她問。

Sam stared at her blankly.

山姆茫然地盯著她。

“Secret?

"祕密？

There's no secret.

這沒有什麼祕密。

I like staying active and studying, that's all.”

我喜歡保持活躍和學習，僅此而已。"

Dani was disappointed.

丹妮很失望。

She just doesn't want to tell me, she thought.

她只是不想告訴我，她想。

So Dani began watching Sam's actions and imitating them.

於是Dani開始觀察Sam的動作並模仿他們。

If Sam ran in the morning, Dani began running in the morning.

如果薩姆在早上跑步，達尼就在早上開始跑步。

If Sam ate eggs for breakfast, Dani began eating eggs.

如果山姆早餐吃雞蛋，達尼就開始吃雞蛋。

If Sam studied for four hours a day, Dani began studying for four hours a day.

如果薩姆每天學習四個小時，達尼就開始每天學習四個小時。

But all of these behaviours were inauthentic for Dani: she wasn't a morning person, she

但所有這些行為對Dani來說都是不真實的：她不是一個早起的人，她

hated eggs, and her life was too busy for four continuous hours of studying, so when

她討厭雞蛋，而且她的生活太忙，無法連續學習四個小時，所以當

she did that, it always meant she had to cancel something else that was important to her.

她這樣做，總是意味著她不得不取消其他對她很重要的事情。

Eventually Dani returned to her old habits.

最終，Dani回到了她的老習慣。

But Dani's wasn't the only one who tried copying Sam.

但是Dani's並不是唯一一個試圖模仿Sam的人。

Everyone admired Sam's achievements, and so many people tried imitating her actions,

每個人都欽佩山姆的成就，所以很多人都試圖模仿她的行為。

thinking they could be her.

認為他們可能是她。

Ironically, what made Sam Sam was that she didn't think about anyone else's actions.

具有諷刺意味的是，使薩姆成為薩姆的原因是她沒有考慮到其他人的行為。

Everyone tried to be Sam, but Sam didn't try to be anyone but herself.

每個人都試圖成為山姆，但山姆沒有試圖成為任何人，而是自己。

Everyone else tried forcing their behaviour in a certain direction, but Sam's behaviour

其他人都試圖強迫自己的行為向某個方向發展，但山姆的行為

was completely unforced.

完全是無奈之舉。

She had incredible self-knowledge which she obtained at a young age.

她有令人難以置信的自知之明，這是她在年輕時獲得的。

Sam noticed that Dani was copying her and failing, and so one day, she decided to tell

薩姆注意到丹妮在模仿她，而且失敗了，是以有一天，她決定告訴

her a story.

她的一個故事。

“When I was only two, my mother passed away, leaving my father to raise me all alone.

"當我只有兩歲時，我的母親去世了，留下我的父親獨自撫養我。

And he spent as much time with me as he could, helping me learn a lot about myself.

而且他花了儘可能多的時間和我在一起，幫助我瞭解了很多自己。

He exposed me to a lot of sports as a child, and I quickly learned that I liked basketball.

他讓我在小時候接觸了很多運動，我很快就知道我喜歡籃球。

So he played with me every weekend.

所以他每個週末都和我一起玩。

And each day, for breakfast, he made me all kinds of different foods, and I found out

而每天的早餐，他都會給我做各種不同的食物，而我發現

that I liked eggs.

我喜歡雞蛋。

So he made me different kinds of eggs each morning, scrambled, hardboiled, poached.

所以他每天早上給我做不同種類的雞蛋，炒的、煮的、水煮的。

He never forced me to study any specific subject and never said that one's more important

他從來沒有強迫我學習任何特定的科目，也沒有說那一個更重要。

than another.

比另一個。

So I ended up following my interest in college: physics.

所以我最終在大學裡追隨我的興趣：物理學。

And because I love physics so much, I study a lot and somehow get good grades.

因為我非常喜歡物理學，所以我學習了很多，並以某種方式取得了好成績。

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's no secret to the things I do.

我想我想說的是，我做的事情沒有什麼祕密。

I really, genuinely like doing them.

我真的真的很喜歡做這些事。

And I guess I had the good luck of having a father who loved me enough to help me feel

我想我很幸運，有一個足夠愛我的父親來幫助我感受。

safe exploring the world, and that exploration allowed me to find the things that worked

安全地探索世界，而這種探索使我能夠找到有用的東西。

for me.”

為我。"

After hearing Sam's story, Dani decided she needed to approach her life differently,

在聽了山姆的故事後，丹妮決定她需要以不同的方式對待她的生活。

without self-discipline.

沒有自律性。

Dani began a new journey of exploration, trying new foods from the grocery store each day,

Dani開始了新的探索之旅，每天從雜貨店嘗試新的食物。

testing out different forms of exercise, and looking up different majors to study.

測試不同形式的運動，並尋找不同的專業來學習。

Eventually, she found alternatives that she could maintain without forcing them upon herself,

最終，她找到了她可以維持的替代方案，而沒有把它們強加給自己。

and in the end, she ended up losing weight and making the honour roll.

而最後，她最終減輕了體重並進入了榮譽榜。

When one finds what actually works, like Sam and Dani eventually did, there's no self-discipline.

當一個人找到真正有效的東西時，就像薩姆和丹妮最終所做的那樣，就沒有自律了。

There's no inner conflict.

沒有內心的衝突。

The action is something one genuinely wants to do because it works for them.

該行動是一個人真正想做的事情，因為它對他們有用。

And true change doesn't come by trying to control oneself, but through exploration and

而真正的改變並不是通過試圖控制自己來實現的，而是通過探索和

encounters with something new.

遇到新的東西。

True change is a chemical reaction.

真正的變化是一種化學反應。

When we use self-discipline, it means we're walking someone else's path, and walking

當我們使用自律時，這意味著我們在走別人的路，而走

some else's path will only lead to inner conflict.

別人的路，只會導致內心的衝突。

The only way is our own way, and thats why self-discipline is

唯一的方法是我們自己的方法，這就是為什麼自律是

a waste of time.

浪費時間。