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  • So that's, you know, coming along.

  • I'm working with a vocal coach,

  • strengthening the...

  • A lot guys ignore the laugh.

  • And that's about standards.

  • I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil,

  • you have to have a memorable laugh.

  • What? Do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny?

  • His terrible death-whinny.

  • No response, BTW, from the League yet,

  • but my application is strong this year.

  • A letter of condemnation from the Deputy Mayor.

  • That's gotta have some weight,

  • so...

  • fingers crossed.

  • Emails.

  • "2sly4u" writes--

  • "Hey, genius--"

  • Wow, sarcasm! That's original.

  • "Where are the gold bars you were supposed

  • "to pull out of that bank vault with your Transmatter Ray?

  • Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers."

  • Well, no,

  • they're not gonna say anything in the press.

  • But behold.

  • Transported from there,

  • to here!

  • The molecules tend to...

  • shift during the transmatter...

  • event.

  • But...

  • they were transported in bar form,

  • and they clearly were--

  • And by the way, it's not about making money.

  • It's about taking money.

  • Destroying the status quo,

  • because the status is not quo.

  • This world is a mess, and I just...

  • need to rule it.

  • I'm gonna--

  • Smells like cumin.

  • So Transmatter is 75%

  • and more importantly,

  • the Freeze Ray is almost up.

  • This is the one.

  • Stops time. Freeze Ray.

  • Tell your friends.

  • We have...

  • Here's one from our good friend Johnny Snow--

  • "Dr. Horrible,

  • "I see you are once again afraid to do battle

  • "with your nemesis.

  • I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes."

  • Okay. Dude.

  • You're not my nemesis.

  • My nemesis...

  • is Captain Hammer.

  • Captain Hammer, corporate tool.

  • Dislocated my shoulder...

  • again, last week.

  • Look, I'm just trying to change the world, okay?

  • I don't have time for a grudge match

  • with every poser in a parka.

  • Besides, there's kids in that park.

  • So...

  • Here's one from "DeadNotSleeping"--

  • "Long time watcher, first time writing--"

  • "You always say in your blog

  • "that you will show her the way.

  • "Show her you are a true villain.

  • "Who is 'her'

  • and...does she even know that you're..."

  • Laundry day

  • See you there

  • Underthings

  • Tumbling

  • Wanna say

  • Love your hair

  • Here I go

  • Mumbling

  • With my Freeze Ray, I will stop

  • The world

  • With my Freeze Ray, I will

  • Find the time to find the words to

  • Tell you how

  • How you make

  • Make me feel

  • What's the phrase?

  • Like a fool

  • Kinda sick

  • Special needs

  • Anyways

  • With my Freeze Ray, I will stop

  • The pain

  • It's not a Death Ray or an Ice Beam

  • That's all Johnny Snow

  • I just think you need time to know

  • That I'm the guy to make it real

  • The feelings you don't dare to feel

  • I'll bend the world to our will

  • And we'll make time stand still

  • That's the plan

  • Rule the world

  • You and me

  • Any day

  • Love your hair

  • - What? - No.

  • I--I-- I love the air.

  • Anyway

  • With my Freeze Ray, I will stop--

  • Hey, Doc.

  • Moist! My evil, moisture buddy.

  • What's going on?

  • Life of crime. Got your mail.

  • Hey, didn't you, uh--

  • didn't you go on a date last night?

  • Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling

  • with Bait and Switch.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah?

  • It was all right.

  • I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait, but--

  • I hear you.

  • I saw Penny today.

  • You talk to her?

  • So close.

  • I'm just a few weeks away

  • from a real, audible connection.

  • I'm-- I'm gonna ask--

  • Oh, my God.

  • Is that from the League?

  • It's from him. That's his seal, isn't it?

  • The-- The leader? Oh, my God.

  • I got a letter from Bad Horse.

  • That's so hardcore. Bad Horse is legend.

  • He rules the League with an iron hoof.

  • Are you sure you wanna--

  • - Bad Horse - Bad Horse

  • Bad Horse, Bad Horse

  • He rides across the nation

  • The Thoroughbred of Sin

  • He got the application that you just sent in

  • It needs evaluation, so let the games begin

  • A heinous crime, A show of force

  • A murder would be nice of course

  • Bad Horse, Bad Horse

  • Bad Horse, he's bad

  • The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware

  • The grade that you receive will be your last we swear

  • So make the Bad Horse gleeful

  • Or he'll make you his mare

  • You're saddled up, there's no recourse

  • - It's - "Hi-Yo, Silver!"

  • Signed Bad Horse

  • It's not a no.

  • Are you kidding?

  • This is great!

  • I am about to pull a major heist.

  • You know the wonderflonium that I need for the Freeze Ray?

  • It's being transported tomorrow.

  • Armored car?

  • Courier van.

  • Candy from a baby.

  • You need anything dampened or made soggy?

  • Thanks, but...

  • the League is watching.

  • I gotta go this alone.

  • Will you lend a caring hand

  • To shelter those who need it?

  • Only have to sign your name

  • Don't even have to read it

  • Would you help?

  • No? How about you?

  • Will you lend a caring--

  • What?

  • I was wondering if I could just...

  • Hey. I know you.

  • Hello. You know me? Cool.

  • I mean...yeah, you do. Do you?

  • From the Laundromat.

  • Wednesdays and Saturdays.

  • Except twice last month you skipped the weekend.

  • Or if that was you. It could have been someone else.

  • I mean, I've seen you.

  • Billy, is my name.

  • I'm Penny.

  • What are you doing?

  • Texting.

  • It's very important or I would stop.

  • What are you doing?

  • Actually, I'm out here volunteering

  • for The Caring Hands Homeless Shelter.

  • Can you spare a minute?

  • Okay, go.

  • Okay.

  • Um, we're hoping to open a new location soon--

  • expand our efforts.

  • There's this great building nearby

  • that the city is just going to demolish

  • and turn into a parking lot.

  • But if we get enough signatures--

  • Signatures?

  • Yeah.

  • I'm sorry, go on.

  • I was saying, maybe we could get

  • the city to donate the building to our cause.

  • We would be able to provide 250 new beds--

  • Get people off the streets and into job training

  • so they can buy rocket packs and go to the moon

  • and become florists.

  • You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?

  • No, I am.

  • But they're a symptom.

  • You're treating a symptom.

  • And the disease rages on,

  • consumes the human race.

  • The fish rots from the head, as they say,

  • so my thinking is why not cut off the head.

  • Of the human race?

  • It's not a perfect metaphor.

  • But I'm talking about an overhaul of the system.

  • Putting the power in...

  • different hands.

  • I'm all for that.

  • This petition is about the building.

  • I'd love to sign it.

  • Thank you.

  • I'm sorry, I-- I come on strong.

  • But you signed.

  • Well, wouldn't want to turn my back

  • on a fellow... laundry...person.

  • Well, if we can't stick together, I don't--

  • I'll probably see you there.

  • No, I will. I'll--

  • She talked to me.

  • Why did she talk to me now?

  • Maybe I should...

  • A man's gotta do

  • What a man's gotta do

  • Don't plan the plan

  • If you can't follow through

  • All that matters

  • Taking matters into your own hands

  • Soon I'll control everything

  • Stop! Hey! Hey!

  • My wish is your command

  • Stand back everyone

  • Nothing here to see

  • Just imminent danger

  • In the middle of it, me

  • Yes, Captain Hammer's here

  • Hair blowing in the breeze

  • The day needs my saving expertise

  • A man's gotta do

  • What a man's gotta do

  • Seems destiny

  • Ends with me saving you

  • The only doom that's looming

  • Is you loving me to death

  • So I'll give you a sec to catch your breath

  • You idiot!

  • Dr. Horrible. I should have known you were behind this.

  • - You almost killed her! - I remember it differently.

  • Is she--

  • It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible.

  • Lacy, gently wafting curtains.

  • Thank you, Hammer man

  • I don't think I can

  • Explain how important it was

  • That you stopped the van

  • I would be splattered. I'd be crushed under debris

  • Thank you, sir, for saving me

  • Don't worry about it.

  • A man's gotta do

  • -What a man's gotta do -You came from above

  • -Are you kidding? -Seems destiny ends

  • -What heist were you watching? -With me saving you

  • -I wonder what you're captain of -Stop looking at her like that!

  • When you're the best

  • Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?

  • My heart is beating like a drum

  • His ass needs kicking

  • -Some ticking bomb to diffuse -I stopped the van

  • The remote control was in my hand

  • -The only doom that's looming -Assuming I'm not

  • -Whatever -Loving you to death

  • So please give me a sec to catch my breath

  • Balls.

  • Any dolt with half a brain

  • Can see that humankind has gone insane

  • To the point where I don't know

  • If I'll upset the status quo

  • If I throw poison in the water main

  • Listen close to everybody's heart

  • And hear that breaking sound

  • Hopes and dreams are shattering apart

  • And crashing to the ground

  • I cannot believe my eyes

  • How the world's filled with filth and lies

  • But it's plain to see

  • Evil inside of me

  • Is on the rise

  • Look around

  • We're living with the lost and found

  • Just when you feel you've almost drowned

  • You find yourself on solid ground

  • And you believe there's good in everybody's heart

  • Keep it safe and sound

  • With hope, you can do your part

  • To turn a life around

  • I cannot believe my eyes

  • Is the world finally growing wise

  • 'Cause it seems to me

  • Some kind of harmony

  • Is on the rise

  • - Anyone with half a brain - Take it slow

  • - He looks at me - Could spend their whole life

  • - And seems to know - Howling in pain

  • - The things that I'm afraid to show - 'Cause the dark is everywhere

  • And Penny doesn't seem to care

  • - And suddenly I feel this glow - That soon the dark in me

  • Is all that will remain

  • - And I believe there's good in - Listen close to

  • Everybody's heart

  • - Keep it safe and - Hear that breaking

  • Sound

  • - With hope, you can do - Hopes and dreams are shattering

  • - Your part - Apart

  • - To turn a life around - And crashing to the ground

  • I cannot believe my eyes

  • How the world's

  • - Finally growing wise - Filled with filth and lies

  • - But it's plain to see - And it's plain to see

  • Evil inside of me

  • Rapture inside of me

  • Is on the rise

  • It is so dumb that we've been coming here so long and never spoke.

  • I know.

  • All those months doing a stunningly boring chore.

  • I'm a fan of laundry.

  • Psych! I love it.

  • -The smell of fabric softener. -Mmm.

  • -The feel of warm clothes in your hands. -So good.

  • Hey, this is weird.

  • I ordered one frozen yogurt, and they gave me two.

  • You don't happen to like frozen yogurt do you?

  • -I love it. -You're kidding.

  • What a crazy, random happenstance.

  • -Here. -Thank you.

  • So, how was your weekend?

  • Did you spend the whole time hunting wild signatures?

  • Um, actually, I went on a date.

  • Get right outta town. How was that?

  • Unexpected.

  • He's a really good-looking guy,

  • and I thought he was kind of cheesy at first--

  • Trust your instincts.

  • But he turned out to be totally sweet.

  • Sometimes people are layered like that.

  • There's something totally different underneath

  • than what's on the surface.

  • And sometimes there's a third,

  • even deeper level.

  • And that one is the same as the top, surface one.

  • Huh?

  • Like with pie. So you gonna see him again?

  • I think I will.

  • Ohh.

  • -Billy? -Yeah?

  • You're driving the spork into your leg.

  • So I am.

  • Hilarious!

  • All right. The wait is over.

  • This, my friends, is my Freeze Ray.

  • Which, with the addition of the wonderflonium,

  • I obtained at my famously successful heist last week.

  • I say successful in that I achieved my objective.

  • It was less successful

  • in that I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis

  • to the girl of my dreams,

  • and now he's taking her out on dates,

  • and they're probably going to French kiss or something.

  • She called him sweet.

  • How is he sweet?

  • Right! Freeze Ray.

  • So, as of tonight,

  • I am in the Evil League of Evil

  • if all goes according to plan, which it will,

  • because I hold a Ph.D. in Horribleness.

  • See you at the aftermath.

  • Peace.

  • But not literally.

  • The Freeze Ray needs work.

  • I also need to be a little bit more careful

  • about what I say on this blog.

  • Apparently the L.A.P.D. and Captain Hammer

  • are among our viewers.

  • They were waiting for me

  • at the Mayor's dedication of the Superhero Memorial Bridge.

  • The Freeze Ray takes a few seconds to warm up,

  • and I wasn't--

  • Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.

  • Not to worry, though, because I'm--

  • Oh, one sec.

  • He saw the operation

  • You tried to pull today

  • But your humiliation

  • Means he still votes nay

  • And now assassination is just the only way

  • There will be blood, it might be yours

  • So go kill someone, signed Bad Horse

  • Kill someone?

  • Would you do it?

  • To get into the Evil League of Evil?

  • Look at me, man. I'm Moist.

  • At my most badass,

  • I make people feel like they want to take a shower.

  • I'm not E.L.E. material.

  • Killing's not elegant or creative.

  • It's not my style.

  • You've got more than enough evil hours to get into the Henchman's Union.

  • I'm not a henchman.

  • I'm Dr. Horrible.

  • I've got a Ph.D. in Horribleness.

  • Is that the new catch-phrase?

  • I deserve to get in.

  • You know I do.

  • But killing? Really?

  • Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa

  • who grows up to become president.

  • That'd be big.

  • I'm not gonna kill a little kid.

  • Smother an old lady?

  • Do I even know you?

  • I just, you know, really think

  • I'm qualified for this-- this job,

  • and I just can't get my foot in the door.

  • I'm sure you will.

  • I wanna do great things, you know?

  • I wanna be an achiever, like Bad Horse.

  • The Thoroughbred of Sin?

  • I meant Gandhi.

  • Well, I've gotten turned down from plenty ofjobs.

  • Even fired a few times.

  • I can't imagine anybody firing you.

  • Neither could I.

  • Now I can visualize it really well.

  • But you know, everything happens--

  • Don't say "for a reason."

  • No, I'm just saying that everything happens.

  • Not to me.

  • Here's a story of a girl

  • Who grew up lost and lonely

  • Thinking love was fairytale

  • And trouble was made only for me

  • Even in the darkness

  • Every color can be found

  • And every day of rain

  • Brings water flowing to things

  • Growing in the ground

  • Grief replaced with pity

  • For a city barely coping

  • Dreams are easy to achieve

  • If hope is all I'm hoping to be

  • Anytime you're hurt there's one

  • Who has it worse around

  • And every drop of rain

  • Will keep you growing

  • Seeds you're sowing in the ground

  • So keep your head up, Billy, buddy

  • It's like Captain Hammer is always saying--

  • Right, him.

  • How are things with cheesy-on-the-outside?

  • Good. They're good.

  • He's nice.

  • I'll be interested to know what you think of him.

  • He said he might stop by.

  • Stop by here?

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, goodness. Look at my wrist.

  • I gotta go.

  • But--

  • But, what about your clothes?

  • I don't love these. See ya!

  • Oh, pardon.

  • Pardon.

  • Billy, this is Captain Hammer.

  • Oh, Billy, the laundry buddy.

  • Well it is very nice to meet you.

  • We're meeting now for the first time.

  • You look horribly familiar.

  • One of those faces, I guess.

  • Have I seen you at the gym?

  • At the gym.

  • I don't go to the gym.

  • I'm just naturally like this.

  • Oh, well.

  • Who wants to know what the Mayor is doing

  • behind closed doors?

  • He is signing over a certain building

  • to a Caring Hands group as a new homeless shelter.

  • Oh, my God!

  • Yep. Apparently the only signature

  • he needed was my fist.

  • But with a pen in it.

  • That I was signing with.

  • I-- I can't believe it.

  • Congratulations.

  • Thank-- Thank you. Thank you!

  • Well, this is great.

  • I wish I could stay and chit-chat.

  • Well, it sure was nice to meet you...Doctor.

  • You got a little crush, don't you, Doc?

  • Well, that's going to make this hard to hear.

  • See, later, I'm going to take little Penny back to my place,

  • show her the command center, the Hammer cycle.

  • Maybe even the Ham-jet.

  • You think she likes me now?

  • I'm gonna give Penny the night of her life

  • just because you want her.

  • And I get...what you want.

  • See, Penny's giving it up.

  • She's giving it up hard

  • because she's with Captain Hammer.

  • And these...

  • are not the hammer.

  • The hammer is my penis.

  • This appeared as a moral dilemma

  • 'Cause at first it was weird though I swore to eliminate

  • The worst of the plague that devoured humanity

  • It's true I was vague on the "how", so how can it be that you

  • Have shown me the light?

  • It's a brand new day

  • And the sun is high

  • All the birds are singing

  • That you're gonna die

  • How I hesitated

  • Now I wonder why

  • It's a brand new day

  • All the times that you beat me unconscious, I forgive

  • All the crimes incomplete, listen, honestly I'll live

  • Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through

  • Now the future's so bright and I owe it all to you

  • Who showed me the light

  • It's a brand new me

  • I got no remorse

  • Now the water's rising

  • But I know the course

  • I'm gonna shock the world

  • Gonna show Bad Horse

  • It's a brand new day

  • And Penny will see the evil me

  • Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure

  • And she may cry, but her tears will dry

  • When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia

  • It's a brand new day

  • Yeah, the sun is high

  • All the angels sing

  • Because you're gonna die

  • Go ahead and laugh

  • Yeah, I'm a funny guy

  • Tell everyone goodbye

  • It's a brand new day

  • Looks like we're finding out what a true hero is.

  • The Mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate

  • the new homeless shelter

  • and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer.

  • It's a good day to be homeless.

  • It certainly is.

  • So they say Captain Hammer's become a crusader

  • Political-- He's cleanin' up the streets

  • About time.

  • So they say that it's real love

  • So romantic

  • He signed this

  • So they say we'll have blankets and beds

  • We can open by Monday

  • Thanks to you

  • Thanks to me

  • It's the perfect story

  • So they say

  • A hero leading the way

  • Hammer's call to glory

  • Let's all be our best

  • Next up-- who's gay?

  • So they say he saved her life

  • They say she works with the homeless

  • And doesn't eat meat

  • - We have - A problem with her

  • This is his hair

  • This is so nice

  • I just might sleep with the same girl twice

  • They say it's better the second time

  • They say you get to do the weird stuff

  • We'd do the weird stuff

  • This is perfect for me

  • So they say

  • I guess he's pretty okay

  • After years of stormy sailing

  • Have I finally found the bay?

  • He's still not picking up.

  • There's no happy ending

  • So they say

  • Not for me anyway

  • Should I stop pretending

  • - Take the chance to build - Or is this

  • A brand new day

  • This is his dry cleaning bill

  • Four sweater vests

  • And in just a few minutes,

  • we'll unveil the statue of the man himself.

  • Thank you. Thank you.

  • Justice has a name.

  • And the name that it has-- besides "Justice"--

  • is Captain Hammer.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, your hero.

  • Thank you.

  • Thank you, Mayor, for those kind words.

  • I hate the homeless...

  • --ness problem that plagues our city.

  • Everyone should have the basic--

  • You know what, I don't need tiny cue-cards.

  • When I fell deeply in love

  • with my serious long-term girlfriend Penny--

  • Wave your hand, Penny.

  • There she is.

  • Cute, huh?

  • Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing.

  • Not my usual, but nice.

  • Anyway...

  • she turned me on to this whole homeless thing,

  • which is terrible.

  • And I realized-- I'm not the only hero

  • in the room tonight.

  • I'm not the only one who's fighting.

  • It may not feel too classy

  • Begging just to eat

  • But you know who does that?

  • Lassie

  • And she always gets a treat

  • So you wonder what your part is

  • 'Cause you're homeless and depressed

  • But home is where the heart is

  • So your real home's in your chest

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • Everyone's got villains they must face

  • They're not as cool as mine

  • But folks, you know it's fine

  • To know your place

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • In their own not-that-heroic way

  • So I thank my girlfriend Penny

  • Yeah, we totally had sex.

  • She showed me there's so many

  • Different muscles I can flex

  • There's the deltoids of compassion

  • There's the abs of being kind

  • It's not enough to bash in heads

  • You've got to bash in minds

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • Everyone's got something they can do

  • Get up, go out, and fly

  • Especially that guy

  • He smells like poo

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • You and you and mostly me and you

  • I'm poverty's new sheriff

  • And I'm bashing in the slums

  • A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of

  • Scary alcoholic bums

  • Everybody!

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • We're heroes too

  • Everyone can blaze a hero's trail

  • We're just like you

  • Don't worry if it's hard

  • If you're not a friggin' 'tard

  • You will prevail

  • Everyone's a hero in their own way

  • We're heroes too

  • Everyone's a hero in their--

  • Look at these people

  • Amazing how sheep'll show up

  • For the slaughter

  • No one condemning you

  • Lined up like lemmings, you led to the water

  • Why can't they see what I see?

  • Why can't they hear the lies?

  • Maybe the fee's too pricey

  • For them to realize

  • Your disguise is slipping

  • I think you're slipping

  • Now that your savior is still as the grave

  • You're beginning to fear me

  • Like cavemen fear thunder

  • I still have to wonder

  • Can you really hear me?

  • I bring you pain

  • The kind you can't suffer quietly

  • Fire up your brain, remind you

  • Inside you're rioting, society is slipping

  • Everything's slipping away

  • So, go ahead, run away

  • Say it was horrible

  • Spread the word, tell a friend. Tell them the tale

  • Get a pic, do a blog. Heroes are over with

  • Look at him, not a word

  • Hammer, meet nail

  • Then I win, then I get

  • Everything I ever

  • All the cash, all the fame

  • And social change

  • Anarchy, that I run

  • It's Dr. Horrible's turn

  • You people all have to learn

  • This world is going to burn

  • Burn

  • Yeah, it's two "R"s. H-O-R-R. Right.

  • Burn

  • No sign of Penny, good

  • I would give anything not to have her see

  • It's gonna be bloody, head up Billy, buddy

  • There's no time for mercy

  • Here goes no mercy

  • That's not a good sound.

  • ...way

  • A Death Ray?

  • Looks like Dr. Horrible's moving up.

  • Let's see if this one works any better than your others.

  • - Don't-- - I don't have time for your warnings.

  • You give my regards to St. Peter.

  • Or, whoever has his job, but in hell.

  • Oh, I'm in pain!

  • I think this is what pain feels like!

  • Oh, Mama!

  • Someone maternal!

  • Get out of my way! I gotta get out.

  • Penny.

  • Penny!

  • Billy? Is that you?

  • Penny, hold on.

  • Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

  • Are you all right?

  • Hold on.

  • It's okay. It's okay.

  • Captain Hammer will save us.

  • Penn--

  • Dr. Horrible, why'd you kill her?

  • Dr. Horrible!

  • Dr. Horrible--

  • ...part of your plan, Dr. Horrible?

  • Here lies everything

  • The world I wanted at my feet

  • My victory's complete

  • So hail to the king

  • Everything you ever

  • Arise and sing

  • So your world's benign

  • So you think justice has a voice

  • And we all have a choice

  • Well now your world is mine

  • Everything you ever

  • And I am fine

  • Now the nightmare's real

  • Now Dr. Horrible is here

  • To make you quake with fear

  • To make the whole world kneel

  • Everything you ever

  • And I won't feel

  • A thing

  • Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

So that's, you know, coming along.

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網路音樂劇來襲！糟糕博士的歡唱部落格！　Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog [full] [HD] [subs]

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    Furong Lai 發佈於 2012 年 12 月 16 日
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