字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 You know, I announced that, uh, next season will be my last. And, uh, if you're hearing this for the first time, surprise. So I'm, uh, I'm finally leaving. I'm going to pursue my dream of being a long-distance trucker. It's going to be me and 18 wheels. There have been a lot of rumors about who's going to replace me next year. And I say next year because a lot of people think I'm ending this year. But it's next year. Of course, this time next year, I'll be saying this year. But right now it's next year. Hope that clears it up. A lot of people are saying that, uh, that Tiffany Haddish may take over because she's been guest hosting a lot. Uh, I'm not sure that that's going to happen. Don't get me wrong, I love her, and I would love for her to host. She ready. But, um, she ready for a lot of jobs. She busy. Some people think that James Corden might take over. And there's a problem with that rumor. He already has a show. So, if he was taking over, he would have already announced that next year would be his last season. My friend Wanda Sykes is another name people are mentioning. And, uh, I'm here to tell you that Wanda Sykes will definitely be taking over the show. Psych. See what I did there? Because her name's Wanda Sykes, so I said "psych." Y'all are going to miss these jokes. You're going to be, like, yeah, I miss the corny jokes. Uh, there are all these speculations, but I can also speculate. So let's do some speculating - speculation - speculatate. That's a funny word. Speculate - specula - speculation. Now it sounds dirty. It turned a corner. It was fine, and then it sounded dirty. What was I saying? Oh yeah! Um, so, uh, I heard Meryl Streep is gonna to take over, and she will be great. She has Oscars, but one thing she does not have is a Daytime Emmy. And I happen to know that that keeps her up at night because I text her at midnight with photos of my Daytime Emmys. That's how it keeps her up. Uh, people are also saying that Oprah is gonna come out of retirement and host this show, and by people, I mean, just me. She won't. What does she think, she's too good for a show that somebody else's name is on? Um, did I mention that Ellen stays? That's the name of the show, no matter what. It's too expensive to change all the signs. We have signs everywhere. Let's just do a quick lightning round of a possible hosts: Brad Pitt, possible; Julia Roberts, possible. Uh, Sofia Vergara, "muy caliente." Ryan Seacrest, similar hair and wardrobe; He could fit right in. I could just leave my clothes for him. Flo from Progressive. I called the 1-800 number, and I'm still on hold. She would be good. But until you hear it from me, it's just rumors. But we are looking for someone who will continue, preferably someone named Ellen, or someone who knows how to make new signs. You know, or add something to Eleanor, or they could just change their name to Ellen. It's a, it's a good - anyway, I'll keep you posted.