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  • You know, I announced that, uh, next season will be my last.

  • And, uh, if you're hearing this for the first time, surprise.

  • So I'm, uh, I'm finally leaving.

  • I'm going to pursue my dream of being a long-distance trucker.

  • It's going to be me and 18 wheels.

  • There have been a lot of rumors about who's going to replace me next year.

  • And I say next year because a lot of people think I'm ending this year.

  • But it's next year.

  • Of course, this time next year, I'll be saying this year.

  • But right now it's next year.

  • Hope that clears it up.

  • A lot of people are saying that, uh, that Tiffany Haddish may take over because she's been guest hosting a lot.

  • Uh, I'm not sure that that's going to happen.

  • Don't get me wrong, I love her, and I would love for her to host.

  • She ready.

  • But, um, she ready for a lot of jobs.

  • She busy.

  • Some people think that James Corden might take over.

  • And there's a problem with that rumor.

  • He already has a show.

  • So, if he was taking over, he would have already announced that next year would be his last season.

  • My friend Wanda Sykes is another name people are mentioning.

  • And, uh, I'm here to tell you that Wanda Sykes will definitely be taking over the show.

  • Psych.

  • See what I did there?

  • Because her name's Wanda Sykes, so I said "psych."

  • Y'all are going to miss these jokes.

  • You're going to be, like, yeah, I miss the corny jokes.

  • Uh, there are all these speculations, but I can also speculate.

  • So let's do some speculating - speculation - speculatate.

  • That's a funny word.

  • Speculate - specula - speculation.

  • Now it sounds dirty.

  • It turned a corner.

  • It was fine, and then it sounded dirty.

  • What was I saying? Oh yeah!

  • Um, so, uh, I heard Meryl Streep is gonna to take over, and she will be great.

  • She has Oscars, but one thing she does not have is a Daytime Emmy.

  • And I happen to know that that keeps her up at night because I text her at midnight with photos of my Daytime Emmys.

  • That's how it keeps her up.

  • Uh, people are also saying that Oprah is gonna come out of retirement and host this show, and by people, I mean, just me.

  • She won't.

  • What does she think, she's too good for a show that somebody else's name is on?

  • Um, did I mention that Ellen stays?

  • That's the name of the show, no matter what.

  • It's too expensive to change all the signs.

  • We have signs everywhere.

  • Let's just do a quick lightning round of a possible hosts:

  • Brad Pitt, possible; Julia Roberts, possible.

  • Uh, Sofia Vergara, "muy caliente."

  • Ryan Seacrest, similar hair and wardrobe; He could fit right in.

  • I could just leave my clothes for him.

  • Flo from Progressive.

  • I called the 1-800 number, and I'm still on hold.

  • She would be good.

  • But until you hear it from me, it's just rumors.

  • But we are looking for someone who will continue, preferably someone named Ellen, or someone who knows how to make new signs.

  • You know, or add something to Eleanor, or they could just change their name to Ellen.

  • It's a, it's a good - anyway, I'll keep you posted.

You know, I announced that, uh, next season will be my last.


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A2 初級 美國腔

Ellen Addresses Replacement Host Rumors

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    13 發佈於 2021 年 06 月 03 日