I know what he's saying. He's talking about  today's lesson. What we want to study are - well,  

我知道他在說什麼。他在說今天的課。我們要學習的是--嗯。

what I want to introduce you to are five questions  that you can use when you first meet somebody  

我想向你介紹的是，當你第一次見到某人時，你可以使用五個問題。

to develop a bond, and a bond means sort of a  relationship that you can carry on later on.  

培養一種紐帶，而紐帶意味著某種關係，你可以在以後繼續下去。

If you - a lot of people will suggest watching  movies for learning how to do conversation, and  

如果你--很多人都會建議看電影來學習如何進行對話，而

I agree and I've mentioned it in several videos.  But let's be honest, what we need is in depth  

我同意，而且我在幾個視頻中都提到了這一點。 但說實話，我們需要的是深入的

involvement. What I mean by that is you need to  immerse yourself in language. And when you're  

參與。我的意思是，你需要讓自己沉浸在語言中。而當你

immersing yourself in language, you want to do  something like talk to people. Now, the problem  

沉浸在語言中，你想做一些事情，比如與人交談。現在，問題是

with talking to people, many students say, is  that you can't really get a good conversation.  

許多學生說，與人交談，是你不能真正得到一個好的對話。

Today's lesson - I'm going to teach you five  questions and opening lines or bridging questions  

今天的課程--我將教你五個問題和開場白或銜接問題

that will help you to create natural conversations  which will get people to come back to you.  

這將幫助你創造自然的對話，這將使人們回到你身邊。

So, I'm going to start by coming over here and  explaining how conversations are like essays,  

是以，我將從這裡開始，解釋對話如何像文章一樣。

and do a small comparison before we get to the  questions and what those questions can possibly do  

在我們討論問題和這些問題可能做什麼之前，先做一個小的比較。

to help you open up a conversation and  naturally make it flow, alright? So,  

來幫助你打開對話，並自然而然地使其流暢，好嗎？所以。

we're not talking about language apps, we're not  talking about movies. They're all - they're good,  

我們不是在談論語言應用，我們不是在談論電影。它們都是--它們是好的。

they're great to start off with. But if you don't  get enough natural input from people to know  

他們是很好的開端。但如果你沒有從人們那裡得到足夠的自然投入，知道

the ebb and flow, or how conversation goes, what  pauses mean, which means stop in the conversation,  

起伏，或對話如何進行，停頓意味著什麼，這意味著對話中的停止。

you're going to have what we call a stilted  conversation where it seems more like an interview  

你將會有我們所說的僵硬的對話，看起來更像一次採訪。

or an interrogation where one person asks  questions and the other person says "Yes" or "No",  

或審訊，一個人提問，另一個人說 "是 "或 "不是"。

but you don't go any further. And without further  ado, or not waiting anymore, let's go to the board  

但你沒有更進一步。不再多說，或不再等待，讓我們進入董事會

and start our conversation lesson, shall we? Now, conversations are like essays. Now, a lot of  

並開始我們的對話課，好嗎？現在，對話就像作文。現在，很多

you guys are doing essays in school right now, so  you're learning how the five paragraph essay, or  

你們現在在學校裡做作文，所以你們正在學習如何寫五段式作文，或

how to write because you want to go to college or  university in Canada. Or you're writing a business  

因為你想去加拿大的學院或大學，所以你要寫如何寫作。或者你要寫一份商業

letter and you want to sell a product to somebody.  Not quite an essay, but you'll get the structure  

信，而且你想向別人推銷產品。 不完全是一篇文章，但你會得到結構

that I'm talking about. When you write to someone,  especially an essay, you need an introduction.  

我所談論的。當你給別人寫信時，特別是寫文章時，你需要一個引言。

An introduction can be the thesis, the three major  points, and a - sort of a conclusion that leads to  

引言可以是論題，三個主要觀點，以及一個--類似於結論的東西，導致

the body where it sums it up, saying this is my  argument, right? This is what we're looking at  

在正文中，它總結了一下，說這是我的論點，對嗎？這就是我們要看的東西

for our introduction for an essay. When we move  from an introduction to an essay to the body,  

為我們的論文引言。當我們從一篇論文的導言轉到正文時。

we explore the subject. What that means are  things that we started to talk about here,  

我們探討這個問題。這意味著我們在這裡開始談論的事情。

we go in deeper here and try to explain why  this true, why this isn't true. We finally go  

我們在這裡深入探討，試圖解釋為什麼這是真的，為什麼這不是真的。我們最後去

from exploring the subject to the conclusion,  where we say, "Well, this is what I believe,  

從探索主題到得出結論，我們說："嗯，這是我的信仰。

because of what I've said.", or "This is how  I've disproved something someone else has said."  

因為我說過的話。"，或者 "這就是我如何反駁別人說過的話。"

And it motivates the person to follow up, because  if you write a really good essay, or if you're  

而且它促使當事人跟進，因為如果你寫了一篇非常好的文章，或者如果你是

doing a really good sales letter, somebody's  going to follow up, meaning they're going to want  

做一個真正好的銷售信，有人會跟進，這意味著他們會想要

to find out more by contacting you or reading for  themselves. So they get a deeper understanding of  

通過與你聯繫或自己閱讀來了解更多。這樣他們就能更深入地瞭解

the subject and/or they understand what you were  writing. You motivate them to learn, basically is  

你的主題和/或他們理解你所寫的內容。你激勵他們去學習，基本上就是

what I'm saying. That's what we do for essays. So, how does this compare with a conversation?  

我在說什麼。這就是我們做文章的方法。那麼，這與對話相比如何呢？

Well, when you meet somebody, because with  an essay, if you've - if they've never read  

好吧，當你遇到某人時，因為有一篇文章，如果你--如果他們從未讀過

the topic, you are meeting. The essay is their  introduction, the first time they're meeting the  

的主題，你正在開會。這篇文章是他們的介紹，是他們第一次見到的

subject. When you have conversation, we have  what's called an icebreaker. Icebreakers are  

主題。當你進行談話時，我們有所謂的破冰者。破冰者是

something we don't have now, but in the old days,  they would actually have frozen ice and they'd  

我們現在沒有的東西，但在過去，他們實際上會有冷凍的冰，他們會

have to break it into pieces, because they would  make, you know, they'd have an ice bucket at the  

必須把它打成碎片，因為他們會做，你知道，他們會有一個冰桶在

door and whatnot, I can't remember exactly. But  they'd get big ice and they'd have to smash it  

門什麼的，我記不清楚了。但他們會得到大冰塊，他們必須砸碎它。

and keep it. It wasn't like today where you can  get ice out of your fridge by pressing a button.  

並保留它。它不像今天，你可以通過按一個按鈕從冰箱裡拿出冰。

So, you need an icebreaker, something  to - when we say "break the ice".  

是以，你需要一個破冰的東西，當我們說 "破冰 "的時候。

When you don't know someone, it's cold, you  might say. Two people can be frosty or ice-like.  

當你不認識某人時，你可能會說，這很冷。兩個人可以是冷若冰霜或冰雪聰明。

To break the ice is to warm up to  communication to getting to know each other.  

破冰是為了熱身交流，以瞭解對方。

So, you need a sentence besides, you know, "Hey  baby, how you doin'?" Not a great ice breaker,  

所以，你需要一個句子，除了，你知道，"嘿，寶貝，你好嗎？"這不是一個偉大的破冰之舉。

by the way. But something that makes somebody -  will open up and turn towards you to say, "Ok,  

順便說一下。但是，一些讓人--會打開並轉向你說，"好的。

hi, hello", or whatever the next thing is. People usually go from an icebreaker to  

嗨，你好"，或者不管下一件事是什麼。人們通常從破冰到

open ended questions. You notice I  have something in here, I'm going to  

開放式問題。你注意到我這裡有一些東西，我打算

come back to this in a second. But similar to  the essay, they go to open ended questions.  

一會兒再來討論這個問題。但與作文類似，他們去做開放式的問題。

That's like to explore the subject. Exploring the  subject is getting to know you. Who are you, what  

這就像探索主題。探索主題就是了解你。你是誰，什麼

do you like, what don't you like, who am I, do  we even want to get to know each other better?  

你喜歡什麼，你不喜歡什麼，我是誰，我們是否想進一步瞭解對方？

Then we move to conclusion. I mean, I'm lucky I'm  doing videos so I can talk all night long. But  

然後我們轉到結論。我的意思是，我很幸運，我在做視頻，所以我可以說一整晚。但是

fortunately, you have a job, you have a place to  go. You have to go home, you have to go to school.  

幸運的是，你有一份工作，你有一個地方可以去。你必須回家，你必須去上學。

So, in a conclusion for a conversation, if the  conversation has had a good introduction, you have  

是以，在談話的結論中，如果談話有一個好的開端，你就有

asked good questions to motivate interest,  when you conclude and you get to know a bit,  

問的問題很好，可以激發興趣，當你總結的時候，你就會知道一些情況了。

you end the conversation. You wrap it up,  but in a way that you can talk again later.  

你結束談話。你把它結束了，但以一種你們以後可以再談的方式。

Maybe by email, maybe by Skype or Zoom or maybe on  Facebook, but you'll continue the conversation and  

也許是通過電子郵件，也許是通過Skype或Zoom，也許是在Facebook上，但你會繼續對話，並且

get to know each other, right? Okay. So far, so good. They're very similar,  

互相瞭解，對嗎？好吧，到目前為止，還不錯。他們非常相似。

except I added here, bridging questions.  Well, what is a bridging question? Well,  

除了我在這裡添加的，橋接問題。 那麼，什麼是銜接性問題？好吧。

people and essays and books or sales letters  aren't the same. When you're talking to someone,  

人和文章和書或銷售信是不一樣的。當你與人交談時

and this is where I said a movie or an app  isn't quite the same, it's real life, it's  

這就是我說的電影或應用程序不完全相同，它是真實的生活，它是

happening now. There are things that are going to  happen between your body language, time of day,  

現在正在發生。在你的身體語言、一天中的時間之間會發生一些事情。

whether we're hungry where we are. That's going  to change that conversation. The speed of it,  

我們是否在我們所處的地方感到飢餓。這將會改變這種對話。它的速度。

the words coming out. If I'm listening, you  might slow down to make emphasis. It's real.  

的話說出來。如果我在聽，你可能會放慢速度來做強調。它是真實的。

So, you can't just go from an introduction  to open ended questions, because,  

所以，你不能只是從介紹到開放式問題，因為。

you know, "Hi, my name's James, do you want  to go to dinner and get married?" Woah, where  

你知道，"嗨，我叫詹姆斯，你想去吃飯和結婚嗎？"哇，在哪裡？

the hell did that come from? You kind of got to  bridge, and what I mean by bridge is you're here,  

這到底是怎麼來的？你有點到了橋，我所說的橋是指你在這裡。

this person's here. You've done your introductions  so you can see each other and wave, but how do  

這個人在這裡。你們已經做了介紹，所以你們可以看到對方並揮手，但如何

you get over here so that you can take time to  get to know each other? Bridging questions.  

你到這裡來，以便你能花時間瞭解對方？銜接問題。

So, I'm going to give you five questions  that you're going to ask that's going to give  

是以，我將給你五個問題，你要問的問題將給

you the power to be able to get to know someone,  but I'm also going to give you the bridging  

你有能力去了解一個人，但我也會給你一個橋樑。

questions you should ask first that can lead  from introduction to a question that makes sense,  

你應該先問一些問題，可以從介紹中引出一個有意義的問題。

so your next question, which is an open ended  question where they won't say yes or no, but  

所以你的下一個問題，是一個開放式的問題，他們不會說是或不是，但是

they'll give you information, will work nicely,  neatly, and lead to great conversations. Or,  

他們會給你資訊，會很好地工作，整潔，並導致偉大的對話。或者。

sorry, great conclusions - so, for further  conversations. So, if you're ready to explore  

對不起，偉大的結論 - 所以，對於進一步的對話。是以，如果你準備探索

that with me, get ready, and let's go. Okay, so you did all the work to understand  

和我一起，準備好，我們走吧。好的，所以你做了所有的工作來了解

what or how a conversation, a book or an essay or  a sales letter can be similar and how they match  

一段對話、一本書或一篇文章或一封銷售信可以有什麼或如何相似，以及它們如何匹配

up, and I threw in that concept of, you know,  linking something or leading with something,  

了，而且我還拋出了這樣一個概念，你知道，用某些東西來連接或引導。

yeah? So, we're going to go over to the board and  I'm actually going to give you the five questions  

是嗎？所以，我們要到黑板上去，我實際上要給你五個問題

that I think can generate an amazing conversation  with someone. I've not only done that, I've added  

我認為可以與某人產生驚人的對話。我不僅做到了這一點，我還加入了

with that what I call leading questions, something  you will start with to get to that question that  

這就是我所說的引導性問題，你將從這個問題開始，以達到那個問題的目的。

will develop a beautiful conversation. And - you  don't think I just stopped there - I'm going to  

將發展出一個美麗的對話。而且--你不要以為我只是停在那裡--我將會

try and give you some background on why you might  want to use this question or what makes this  

試著給你一些背景資料，說明為什麼你可能想使用這個問題，或者是什麼讓這個問題

question special. So you're not just going to say,  "I'm going to ask this question in any situation."  

問題的特殊性。是以，你不會只是說，"我在任何情況下都要問這個問題"。

You might want to know if I use this question  if I want to learn this about a person.  

你可能想知道，如果我想了解一個人的這些情況，我是否使用這個問題。

Kind of good, right? Okay, cool. So, let's go to the board and we'll take a look.  

有點好，對嗎？好的，很好。那麼，讓我們到黑板上看一看。

Question number one, okay. Before we - what we  want to ask is, "If you could only eat one meal  

第一個問題，好的。在我們--我們想問的是，"如果你只能吃一頓飯

for the rest of your life, what would it be?" So,  that's the question. And we can even go further  

在你的餘生中，它將是什麼？"所以，這就是問題所在。而我們甚至可以更進一步

with that question, it would be like, "Where did  you first have that meal? Who made it for you?"  

有了這個問題，就會像，"你第一次在哪裡吃到這頓飯？誰為你做的？"

And get some, you know, we can get a - have a  little bit of fun with it with a person. Because  

並得到一些，你知道，我們可以得到一個--與一個人有一點點的樂趣。因為

food is something we all love. So,  this is a question about having fun.  

食物是我們都喜歡的東西。是以，這是一個關於享受樂趣的問題。

Now honestly, you can't walk up to someone and  say, "Hi, my name's change. So, if you could only  

現在說實話，你不可能走到某人面前說："嗨，我的名字叫改變。所以，如果你能

eat one food for the rest of your life, what would  you eat?" They'll look at you and back up and go,  

在你的餘生吃一種食物，你會吃什麼？"他們會看你一眼，然後退後走。

"Back up, you're crazy, you're crazy!" So, how  do I get in there? Well, imagine walking down  

"退後，你是瘋子，你是瘋子！"那麼，我怎樣才能進去呢？好吧，想象一下走在

the street, I see you and I walk up and go, "Hi",  and we're talking a bit, "My name's James. Oh,  

在街上，我看到你，我走過去，"嗨"，我們聊了一會兒，"我叫詹姆斯。哦。

your name is Valerie or Valyeria, yeah, Valyeria,  great." "Hey, are there any good restaurants  

你的名字是瓦萊麗或瓦萊里亞，是的，瓦萊里亞，太好了。""嘿，有什麼好餐館嗎？

around here?" And she might go "Yeah, down the  street there's a good Italian restaurant. You  

在這裡？"她可能會說："是的，在街上有一家不錯的意大利餐館。你

might like it." I go "Really, cool. That sounds  fantastic. I've got a funny question for you. If  

可能會喜歡它。"我說："真的，很好。這聽起來太棒了。我有一個有趣的問題要問你。如果

you could only eat one meal for the rest of your  life, what would you eat?" And they might go "Good  

你的餘生只能吃一餐，你會吃什麼？"而他們可能會說："好

question." As you're thinking about it, you could  ask, "Hey, is that restaurant around here that  

問題"。在你思考的時候，你可以問，"嘿，這附近的那家餐館是

sells this kind of food?" And all of the sudden,  you've opened it up for a conversation, see?  

賣這種食物？"突然間，你就打開了對話的局面，看到了嗎？

Now, when I'm giving you these leading questions,  don't think that you have to do this with that  

現在，當我給你這些引導性問題時，不要認為你必須用這個做那個

exactly. Think of context. Where are you? You  could be sitting eating dinner with a friend or  

正是如此。想一想背景。你在哪裡？你可能正坐在那裡和朋友吃晚飯，或

someone you've just met at a party and you're  not going to say to them, "Is there any good  

你不會對一個在派對上剛認識的人說："有什麼好東西嗎？

restaurants", or "Are there any good restaurants  around here?" That's just not paying attention.  

餐館"，或 "這附近有什麼好餐館嗎？"這只是沒有注意到。

But while you're eating, you could say, "This food  is amazing. Do you enjoy it?" And they might say,  

但在你吃東西的時候，你可以說，"這食物真令人吃驚。你喜歡它嗎？"而他們可能會說。

"Yeah". And you go, "Hey, you know what? If  you could only eat one food -" there you go,  

"是的"。然後你去，"嘿，你知道嗎？如果你只能吃一種食物--"你去了。

there's that question. And it's a fun question,  this icebreaker. It gets to get - you know,  

有這樣一個問題。這是一個有趣的問題，這個破冰者。它可以得到 - 你知道。

you get to know the person by asking things like,  "Where did you first have it?" Maybe they were on  

你可以通過問一些事情來了解對方，比如 "你第一次是在哪裡吃的？"也許他們是在

vacation. "Who made it for you?" Maybe it was  a family member. So, this is a "getting to know  

假期。"誰為你做的？"也許是一個家庭成員。是以，這是一個 "瞭解

you" question. And it's done over a fun way that's  not too invasive, which means it's not too strong.  

你 "的問題。而且它是以一種有趣的方式完成的，不會有太大的侵犯性，這意味著它不會太強。

Food - we all eat food, we all love  food. You can even change it to,  

食物--我們都吃食物，我們都愛食物。你甚至可以把它改成。

"What food could you not eat ever again for the  rest of your life?" Why not? And they might go,  

"什麼食物你可以在你的餘生中再也不吃了？"為什麼不能？而他們可能會去。

"Oh, liver! I hate it! Oh, my mom made it, it's  disgusting" and it's a great conversation.  

"哦，肝臟!我討厭它!哦，我媽媽做的，太噁心了"，這是個很好的對話。

Question number two, you could say - okay,  question number two is "What was your first job?"  

問題二，你可以說--好吧，問題二是 "你的第一份工作是什麼？"

and you want to know why? Once again, this is a  fun question. Nobody ever has a great first job,  

而你想知道為什麼？再一次，這是一個有趣的問題。沒有人的第一份工作是好的。

well, very few of us have great first jobs.  Some of us, like I delivered newspapers as my  

嗯，我們中很少有人有很好的第一份工作。 我們中的一些人，像我一樣，把報紙作為我的第一份工作。

first job at 6:00 in the morning. It was cold,  it was wet. But I learned the value of - ahh,  

第一份工作是在早上6點。它很冷，很溼。但我學到了--啊--的價值。

see, you got to know about me. Because I told  you about my first job. It wasn't a great job,  

看，你已經知道了我的情況。因為我告訴你我的第一份工作。那不是一份好工作。

but I learned something from it, or I  was able to buy this because of it.  

但我從中學到了一些東西，或者說我能夠因為它而買到這個東西。

How do you get there, though? How do you get  there? Because walking up to someone and asking  

不過，你如何到達那裡？你是如何到達那裡的？因為走到某人面前，問

about their first job, unless it's a business or  a job interview, is not a good question to ask.  

關於他們的第一份工作，除非是商業或工作面試，否則不是一個好問題。

But we could start off with, you know,  like, "Weather's pretty good, dadada. Hey,  

但我們可以先說，你知道，比如，"天氣很好，爸爸。嘿。

what do you do for a living?" "Well, I'm a  salesman." "Well, how do you like your job?"  

你是做什麼工作的？""嗯，我是個推銷員。""嗯，你喜歡你的工作嗎？"

Person's going to ask, "I love it!" or "You know,  it's okay, it's a job." I go, "Yeah, I know what  

人們會問："我喜歡它！"或者 "你知道，這沒關係，這是一份工作"。我說："是的，我知道

you mean. Remember when we were kids? Remember  your first job?" "Yeah, I sold ice cream."  

你是說記得我們還是孩子的時候嗎？記得你的第一份工作嗎？""是的，我賣冰激凌。"

Remember I said to you at the beginning, the best  kind of way to get better at conversation is to  

記得我一開始就對你說過，要想在談話中表現得更好，最好的辦法是

have natural input. These conversations lead  to natural input that you can't just practice  

有自然的輸入。這些對話導致了自然的輸入，你不能只是練習

like, from movie scripts or language apps. You  need to be able to get something that's real,  

比如，從電影劇本或語言應用中。你需要能夠得到一些真實的東西。

that touches us that would naturally touch you.  And notice how we're talking about childhood here,  

觸動我們的，自然會觸動你。 並注意到我們在這裡談論的是童年。

and these are fun and light because sometimes,  you just want to, as we said, break the ice.  

而這些都是有趣和輕鬆的，因為有時候，你只是想，正如我們所說的，打破僵局。

We've broken the ice with a "Hello", we've led  in with a good question that is not too strong.  

我們已經用一句 "你好 "打破了僵局，我們已經用一個好的問題引出，但不要太強。

Then we can go for a deeper question  that helps them to reveal themselves  

然後我們可以去問一個更深的問題，幫助他們揭示自己的身份

without feeling that they're forced to. Okay. Question number three, let's go over here.  

而不覺得他們是被迫的。好的。第三個問題，讓我們到這裡來。

"What is a relationship  deal-breaker for you?" Now, this  

"對你來說，什麼是關係的破壞者？"現在，這

changes. This isn't a fun question. This is a  question to find out someone's morals or what they  

變化。這不是一個有趣的問題。這是一個瞭解某人的道德或他們的行為的問題。

feel is morally right or wrong. What they will  tolerate, what they will not tolerate, right? So,  

覺得在道德上是對還是錯。他們會容忍什麼，他們不會容忍什麼，對嗎？所以。

tolerate means you'll say it's okay. I don't like  it, but it's okay. And if you don't tolerate it,  

忍受的意思是你會說這是好的。我不喜歡它，但它是好的。而如果你不容忍它。

you say it's not okay. I will not stand for this,  or I won't take it. It's over. So, a deal-breaker  

你說這是不對的。我不會容忍這些，否則我就不接受。這就結束了。所以，一個交易的破壞者

in a relationship can be do they lie? Do they  cheat - have sex with somebody else? Will they  

在一段關係中，他們會不會撒謊？他們會不會出軌--與別人發生性關係？他們會不會

say bad things to you? These are things that  you're saying these are the things I stand for  

對你說壞話？你說的這些東西就是我所支持的東西

and I will not let someone do to me, okay? So, a  deal-breaker, because when you break a deal means  

而我不會讓別人對我這樣做，好嗎？所以，一個交易的破壞者，因為當你破壞一個交易意味著

the relationship will be cut  or broken if this happens.  

如果發生這種情況，關係將被切斷或破裂。

This also tells you what behavior, even if you're  not a girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife,  

這也告訴你什麼行為，即使你不是女朋友或男朋友，丈夫或妻子。

that if you do these behaviors, they won't be your  friend either. So, if they say a deal-breaker is  

如果你做這些行為，他們也不會成為你的朋友。是以，如果他們說交易的障礙是

someone who is always late, you better be  on time. Whether you're their girlfriend,  

如果你是一個總是遲到的人，你最好準時到場。無論你是他們的女朋友。

boyfriend, or just whatever. You understand?  Alright. Because that could be a deal-breaker.  

男朋友，或只是什麼。你明白嗎？ 好吧。因為這可能是一個交易的破壞者。

Now, that's a hefty question. You cannot and  I am telling you, do not walk up after saying,  

現在，這是一個沉重的問題。你不能，而且我告訴你，不要在說了之後再走過來。